by Kim Deister
“Fantastic,” I grumbled. “You would think that three hundred plus years would be enough time to get over a failed romance. I mean, yeah, I think we can all agree that Finn is hot.” I smacked him in the chest at his preening and gave him a pointed look before continuing. “As I was saying, Finn is gorgeous and all, but let’s face it. Gorgeous or not, he was a bit of an asshat back in the day. No offense.”
“I was, although I’m certain that I never once used the word ‘asshat’ to describe myself. That is a rather bizarre term which I’m not entirely sure I understand. But I will concede that I was a bit of a rake in my pirate days.”
I rolled my eyes but didn’t bother to comment. The man was beautiful, but there was definitely a bit of a language barrier from time to time.
“Be that as it may, children. But, right now, you can’t forget what I said about time and the aes sidhe. It may have been centuries for us, but it hasn’t felt as long for her. A small moment in infinite time. The point is that, for her, the wound is still fresh and raw. If she chooses to retaliate, she will take a more personal and direct interest. Now let me ask you a question, Finn. Have you seen her since you’ve been here? With Kyra or with Cassidy?”
“I have, but only once. She worked in the pet store that Kyra once took me to. She held me while Kyra and MacKenzie shopped. But as soon as their backs were turned, she spoke to me. What she didn’t realize is that Tom was right behind her, watching her with his daughter’s pet. He heard her, but dismissed it, thinking she was just a little crazy. I haven’t seen her since, but she’s here. I can feel it.”
There was a long pause while my grandmother thought about what Finn had said. I wasn’t sure what it was she was trying to figure out, but something about Finn’s words that bothered her. Her forehead creased as she stared into the dancing flames, not seeing them as she thought.
“Do you always sense when she is near?”
“I think so. It’s just a general feeling, nothing I can pinpoint to a specific person. Most of the time, she is on the fringes of my life, looking as I knew her. But sometimes she is there, in a different face. Sometimes she is the woman I’m involved with, although I don’t always know that unless she chooses to tell me.”
My grandmother looked stunned and that scared me. I had no idea what the implications were of what he had said. I should have paid more attention to the lore as I grew up.
“Well, children. This is a bit more worrying than I initially thought.”
“Not that it matters in the least, but you do realize that you are lumping Finn in with the ‘children,’ don’t you, Grandma? He is the elder of this particular group. The man is beyond senior citizen and clearly a cradle robber.”
Grandma Fi looked a little taken aback as the reality of what I said hit her. Finn, however, chuckled deeply. He cocked an eyebrow and gave me a look of admonishment as he waggled a ring-adorned finger in my face.
“Hush, impudent child, and let your grandmother speak. Respect your elders.”
I stuck my tongue out him, but I sat back and let my grandmother continue.
“What worries me is that she is so invested that she has not only appeared to you, but also has insinuated herself into the curse. That is unusual and I can’t think of a single bit of lore that tells the same story. She clearly hasn’t let go of the idea of the two of you together. And while the aes sidhe can be vengeful and possessive creatures, they don't usually get quite so caught up in a human. Most of them consider humans to be mere playthings, inferior creatures at best. Frankly, they are more apt to curse a human and then forget that human ever existed. But to her, you are hers and hers alone. That’s a tad troubling.”
She paused a moment and took a long sip of tea. “I fear that her retaliation could be devastating.”
Finn’s mood changed after that, becoming darker and darker. It quickly became obvious that it was time to go, that Finn needed to cool off before he exploded. After a promise to talk the next day, we left Grandma Fiona’s and drove back to my house. The mood was subdued, the flirty teasing that had filled the truck on the way to her house long gone. Talking to my grandmother had left us both lost in our own heads. But words weren’t necessary... I felt the pull of his emotions as if they were my own and I was sure he felt mine, too.
The guilt was almost palpable. I knew he felt guilty about pulling me into this quagmire. He blamed himself and, no matter how much I wanted to, there was nothing I could say that would make it better. He just couldn’t get past the fact that none of this would be happening if it hadn’t been for his past.
And he was right. His past was at the root of it all, although no one but Finn himself laid blame. But he wasn’t that man anymore. Grandma Fi and I had tried to talk him down, but our reassurances fell on deaf ears. In his eyes, who he was now didn’t change the fact that who he had been was what put me in danger.
Finn was angry, too, and it rolled off him in waves. He was pissed at Siofra, of course, but like his guilt, most of his anger was directed at himself. The guilt fed the anger and the anger fed the guilt. It was a vicious cycle. He was afraid, too... of the unknown, of what Siofra might do, of not being able to protect me.
He was an emotional wreck and I sympathized. I glanced over at him as I drove, watching his face in the dim light of the passing streetlights. The muscles in his jaw worked back and forth as he ground his teeth together. His expression went from anger, to fear, to sadness, and back again. I wanted to make it better for him, but I didn’t know how to do that. How could I help him when I was in turmoil, too?
A couple of weeks ago, my life might have been lonely, but it had been normal. There had been no magic, no pirates, and no aes sidhe out for my blood. Then I let my beloved little niece con me into taking care of her frog. I had no way of knowing how much that was going to turn my life upside down. I was in way over my head. With Finn, with Siofra, with everything.
I loved the lore of Ireland, the stories that my grandmother had told Mac and me over the years. Mac grew out of them, but I never stopped feeling the magic of them. I wanted them to be true, even if I never really believed in them. Now everything I thought was fantasy was real and I was right in the middle of it. I almost wished I could go back to the way it was, when they were still just stories, before the stories became real and scary. And so much knowledge and belief lost over time because of people like me, dismissing it all as fanciful stories.
I hated feeling out of control. I hated not knowing what was going on or what to do. The more I thought about it all, the more neurotic I became. I didn’t even need to know that everything would be okay. I just needed to know that there was a chance. I parked the truck in the driveway on autopilot, still lost in thought. When Finn moved toward me, I almost jumped out of my skin.
My rising stress levels somehow broke through Finn’s self-inflicted fog like words couldn’t. I was on the verge of losing it in an epic way when he reached over and undid my seat belt. My hands clenched the steering wheel and he pried them apart before pulling me close to him. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles until I was in danger once again. But this time, I was in danger of melting into a Cassidy puddle on the leather seat of my truck.
Before I could completely dissolve into nothingness, he opened his door. The chilly air slapped me across the face. He tugged at me, trying to get me out of the truck through his door. I nixed the idea when I envisioned the ungraceful maneuvers it would take to get over the stick shift. I slid out the door on my side of the truck with slightly more gracefulness and we made our way into the house, Luna leading the way.
I knew we had to talk, but I needed a moment to decompress. But almost as soon as I walked in the door, my phone trilled with an incoming Skype request. It was Kyra, wanting to chat with her beloved frog. I felt like a heel, the worst auntie in the world. The moment I heard her ringtone, guilt rushed over me. I hated lying to her, even when it was for a good reason. But I couldn’t avoid her every time she wanted
to Skype with him.
My bedroom looked like a photography studio as I raced into it to get it running before the call connected. With clever lighting creating glares in all the right places, I prayed it would be enough to escape her notice. I felt like a total asshat, but I didn’t want to ruin her vacation. Sometimes I thought I was walking on the edge of a total breakdown. It took its toll on me.
When the call was done with Kyra none the wiser, I wandered into the living room and curled up on the couch, still thinking. Finn let me stew while he let Luna out into the yard to handle her business. I sat there, numb and overwhelmed. It wasn’t until Luna made a flying leap into my lap and began showering me with kisses that I came out of my fog. Finn made himself comfortable next to me and spread his arm across the back of the couch, scooping me into his side. Luna the Traitor immediately abandoned me for him. She wiggled all over in her attempt to throw herself at him like a cheap suit.
My dog had deep-seated issues. She had no understanding of the problems of interspecies love and Finn wasn't helping matters. He cuddled her, cooing at her as he told her how beautiful she was and raining kisses on her tiny fuzzy head. Despite Luna's serious issues, watching them gave me a moment of peace and normalcy that I desperately needed. Too soon, Luna got a grip on herself and ditched Finn for her cushy bed in front of the fire.
“It will be alright, love, I promise,” Finn said as he rubbed his cheek against the top of my head.
“You can't promise me that, Finn. Neither of us has any fucking idea what or even if Siofra will do something. And if she does, we don’t have a clue what to do about it.”
“Relax, Cassidy. You’re right. We don’t know what she'll do. Maybe she won’t do anything at all.”
“I wish, but you don't really believe that, do you? Both you and Grandma Fi seem pretty convinced,” I interrupted.
He sighed. “No, I don't. She’ll take it as having been bested by a mere human and that’s something she cannot abide.”
“So, how the hell can you tell me we'll be okay. How? This chick sounds like she‘s a wild card on the best of days.” I was yelling, so I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. “How can she be so damn self-righteous about it all, Finn? She stole your life. Yeah, you played her, but I don’t give a damn how much of a player you were. You didn’t deserve being cursed for centuries. Besides… she was a consensual participant. She didn’t have to sleep with you. So, where’s her responsibility in this mess? No offense, but you were a pirate and y'all weren't exactly known for your high moral values. And why does she even care? She’s a freaking fairy that thinks she’s better than us lowly humans. So, what the hell difference did it make what ‘polite society’ thought of her?”
“That’s a lot of questions. No, pirates did not have a reputation for being particularly moral or adherent to society’s rules. And, yes, our relationship, such that it was, was consensual. As for why she cared, I don’t think she gave a single thought about society and how they saw her. What she cared about was being spurned by a human.”
“And that’s why this chick sounds like everything I hate in women. Fairy or not, she’s a catty bitch, just with magic. The bottom line is that she thought she could change you. She failed and her ego couldn’t handle it. The only reason she’s a threat is because of what she is, a chick with inhuman powers.”
“Isn’t that enough?” I started to answer him, but he continued before I could even form the words. “She’s aes sidhe. Her ego was bruised by a lowly human and that’s not acceptable. But your grandmother is smart and so are we. I have every faith that the three of us can find a way to protect ourselves and stop her. I believe in us. I refuse, refuse, to even consider the thought that I could lose you to her. Not when it has taken me three centuries to find you.”
Three centuries. That was still a shock every time I heard it or thought about it. Three centuries ago was nothing but a time I had studied in history classes. It was next to impossible to reconcile it with the man sitting next to me.
“Do you know how weird that is to hear and to know it isn’t some figure of speech? I keep waiting to wake up and realize this has been nothing more than a really vivid dream brought on by the inadvertent and prolific use of hallucinogenic drugs.”
“You are rather wordy when you are emotional, a ghrá, in case you weren’t already aware.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that. My mad vocabulary skills were a bone of contention for many people. I started to come back at him with some particularly verbose retort, but he shut me up in the most effective and enjoyable way possible.
Finn’s lips came down on mine and I forgot everything else. Every emotion, every up and down we’d been through was in that kiss. Even though everything else in the world was crazy and uncertain, this one thing felt right.
Chills ran down my spine when his tongue traced my lower lip. I almost came undone when he tugged it between his teeth. When he finally took pity and let go, I moved out of his arms long enough to straddle his legs. But before I could settle myself in his lap, his hands skimmed my legs and slipped under my butt. In one smooth motion, he lifted me and headed for the stairs.
I wasn’t usually into the whole overblown, “alpha male” thing, but there was something incredibly hot about a guy who could carry me around without breaking a sweat. Maybe it was an ego thing, but it worked for me. I wrapped my legs around him and buried my face in his neck as he carried me. The sweet and spicy smell of him was completely intoxicating. I ran my tongue along his throat to his ear, tasting the salt on his skin as if he were still sailing the seven seas. When I bit his ear lobe, he moaned and his entire body jerked. I nipped at the top of his ears before nibbling down the side of his neck.
We were halfway to the second floor when I felt one of his hands leave my ass and, when I opened my eyes, I saw his hand, holding the railing in a white-knuckled grip. “Damn it, woman,” Finn hissed in my ear. “You're going to make me drop you or force me to take you right here on the stairs. And I intend to take my time with you. So, I suggest you stop trying to drive me mad!”
I had every intention of taking my time with him, too, so I behaved myself until we made it to my bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind him and I heard Luna’s yip of protest when she was left outside. Finn’s former terrarium cast a soft glow over the room, highlighting the bed as if setting the stage for us. That was a rather uncomfortable thought to have as he set me on my feet with his hands still holding my butt. But before I could dwell on it, he kissed me again and all thoughts of amphibians drifted away.
He kissed me senseless. Before I met Finn, I didn’t know that kissing could be like that. Too soon, he spun me around until my back was against his chest, facing the mirror at the end of the bed. I caught my breath just in time to lose it again. He moved my hair to the side and began kissing and nibbling the back of my neck. One hand slid down to cup my breast through my thin shirt. I wanted to watch his hands on me in the mirror, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from closing. He hadn’t even touched my skin yet, but every part of my body was alive and ready to explode.
I tried to turn to him, but he held me in place, biting my neck harder when I tried to wiggle around. When he was sure I wouldn’t move, his other hand slid up from my waist to my other breast. He pinched both of my nipples and I almost lost it right then and there.
“Open your eyes, a ghrá. Watch me touch you,” he whispered in a smoldering voice. “I want to see your eyes.”
He didn't even have to touch me. His voice was enough to make me his. I opened my eyes and he backed away from me, grabbing the hem of my shirt. He yanked it over my head and tossed it. Seconds later, my jeans joined my shirt across the room. His fingers left a trail of fire as he dragged them from my ankles, up my legs, and to my waist until he stood behind me again. He rested his hands on my hips, his thumbs hooked inside the waist of my panties as he kissed my shoulders. He bent his knees and slid his hands down my body, his index fingers slipping i
nto the crease of my thighs. His thumbs rested along the top of my panties, his fingers framing where I wanted him most. I shivered and he stood up again, encircling me in his arms, his hands dark against my pale skin. He slid them up my body, stopping just below my bra. He held them there for a long time, brushing his fingers along the underside of my bra until I ached for his touch.
I watched his reflection in the mirror, his lower lip trapped between his teeth as he stared back at me. His eyes moved from mine, traveling down my body. I felt naked under his gaze. Neither my bra nor my panties left much to the imagination and I wasn’t used to a man looking at me the way Finn did. I squirmed under his eyes. I tried to turn around and hide myself, but he shook his head and tightened his arms around me.
His voice was soft and deep when he spoke, wrapping me in its warmth. “Stop, love. Don’t hide from me. You are so much more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.”
It was moments like this that I wondered if some of the curse’s magic rubbed off on him. His words were like a charm whispered into my soul. When he stared at me like I was the only woman in the world, I was powerless to argue. He made me feel things I’d never felt before. For the first time in my life, I felt completely comfortable in my own skin.
I slid my arms back and gripped his legs, still in cased in tight jeans. I pulled him a little closer and his icy blue eyes turned smoky as he buried his nose in my hair and kissed me. His head rested against mine and he watched my face in the mirror. I felt his chest heave a little as he started breathing heavier. I pressed back against him, pushing myself into him. I rose up on my toes and back down, pressing myself against his hardness. He licked his lips with the tip of his tongue and I almost lost what little control I still had left. Everything about him was sexy as hell and he was doing wonders for my ego. To have that kind of effect on a guy like Finn… he made me feel beautiful, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.