by Vivian Ward
It has taken me a while to come up with the right wording for an ad that I think will yield good results.
“Brett! Can you come here, please?”
He walks into the living room where I’m comfortably curled up on the couch with my laptop.
“Yeah. What did you need?”
“I wrote up an ad, but I wanted you to read it before I post it. Do you want to hear it what it says?”
“Sure,” he says, taking a seat opposite of me.
“Okay,” I look around for the kids. They’re all outside. “I’ll read it, and you tell me if I should change anything.”
“You got it, babe,” he winks at me.
He’s so fucking cute. I just love this man.
“Where to start?
I wouldn't call this an affair because the truth is my husband knows what I do and encourages it! He loves sharing me with other men, and I love being shared, it's a lot of fun. Unfortunately, there are a lot of flakes out there, and I'm tired of it. I'm real and I play for real.
If you have no intentions of actually meeting me in person, don't respond. I play hard but I work even harder so I don't have time to deal with endless emails that are never going to go anywhere.”
“Does this sound good so far?” I stop to ask him before I continue.
“I like it. Is that all of it?”
“No, there’s more,” I say. “Okay, so here’s the rest of it.”
“About me: I'm mature, 36, short (5'2), curvy/thick, blondish brown hair, pretty blue eyes, and I'm a sweetheart with a filthy mouth. I'm intelligent (book smart and street smart), well spoken, clean (shave and shower daily), no diseases, don't do drugs, non-smoker/social drinker, and not afraid to speak my mind or ask for what I want.
“I’m not your average woman in the sense that I'm not shy, I can hang with the guys but I also like to be girly.
“My husband is not the jealous type and would love to participate but is more than happy to loan me out if you're uncomfortable with that. He'd be happy to get pics and video of you fucking me (if this all plays out). And for the right man, I'd be happy to meet you. Should hubby get involved (if you're up to it), he is completely straight. NO m/m contact (maybe incidental sword crossing while you please me but that's it).”
Again, I pause and look to Brett for approval as I giggle about the sword-crossing part. After he shrugs and nods, I continue reading.
“What I'm looking for:
“Age range: 25-50 years old
“Personality- Be fun, outgoing and talkative. If you can't communicate, I won't waste my time. A little intelligence and education go a long way. I have to *like* you in order to *fuck* you. If you don't understand that, then please move along.
“Looks and body- Average or above average looks. Be clean cut (hair cut, manicured facial hair), clean (this shouldn't even need an explanation but shower daily, wear deodorant, maybe do a little jungle grooming), drug and disease free (I am). We'll ALWAYS play safe (this is how I'm DDF) but I'm just putting it out there. Also, I like guys who are on the bigger side so if you've got some extra padding; I'd love to hold onto it.