'Well, Alice is in Scotland now. They'll be in their new house already, I expect.'
'And I'm stuck here,' I said, as we went up our garden path.
'I know you're feeling miserable just now but I promise you, Gemma, you'll make new friends.
You've got other friends at school. I was wondering, perhaps you could invite one or two for tea sometime?'
'I don't want anyone to tea.'
'What about that odd boy with the grin? The one who ate up all the trifle at your party? And the ice cream and the chocolate cake and every single sausage on a stick?'
'I especially don't want Biscuits.'
'Oh well. I'm only trying to help. You feel sad now but I promise you'll have forgotten all about 95
Alice in a few weeks' time.'
I stared at Mum. There wasn't any point in saying anything at all. It was like we were on totally different planets. She didn't understand at all.
She was doing her best to be kind to me though, even though I was officially in Total Disgrace.
'You didn't end up eating very much yesterday one way or another – through your own fault, of course. But anyway, I thought we could make up for it today. I'll cook your favourite spaghetti bolognese.'
'Oh. Well. Thanks, Mum,' I said.
I remembered the last time I ate spaghetti bolognese. Maybe I didn't really fancy it today. I didn't feel very hungry at all. The two and a half cream cakes in my tummy were taking up rather a lot of room.
'I've got a special pudding too,' said Mum.
'I know how much you love cake. I went to the patisserie in my lunch hour and bought a big chocolate cream gateau.'
I swallowed. 'Mum, the thing is, I'm really not desperately starving hungry,' I said.
'Don't give me that, Gemma. You're always hungry, no matter what.' Mum suddenly frowned.
'Grandad hasn't given you anything to eat, has he?'
'No, nothing, honestly,' I said.
I hoped that by the time Mum had the spag bol 96
cooked I really would feel hungry. I even ran laps in the garden to work up an appetite. It didn't work.
I just felt sick and dizzy.
'What are you up to, sweetheart?' said Dad, coming out the back door. 'I was watching you through the window running round and round the garden. Hey, remember that game I used to play with you when you were tiny? Round and round the garden, like a teddy bear—'
'One step, two step, and a tickly under there,' I said, tickling under my own chin. 'Only I'm not really ticklish, only under my feet. It's Alice who's terribly ticklish.'
'I'll say! She'd squeal and go all helpless if I even pretended to tickle her,' said Dad. He put his arm round me. 'I'm going to miss her too, Gemma. She's been like another daughter to me, bless her. I can't say I'll miss her folks so much. They always seemed a bit stuck up, if you ask me.'
'Especially her mum.' I stuck my chin in the air, patted my imaginary expensive hairdo, and tried out a silly, snooty-pops voice. 'Yes, we're moving to this fabulous new house because my Bob's got this fantastic job opportunity, and we'll have a brand-new fitted kitchen with an oven here and a hob there, and here a hob, there a hob, everywhere a hob-nob, and we all have our own private bathroom suite with a power shower like Niagara Falls, and our Alice 97
will have a whole pack of ponies, and all her posh little riding chums will come and stay with her and she'll like them and make a new best friend—'
Dad stopped chuckling. 'You're always going to be Alice's best friend, you know that,' he said, ruffling my hair. Then he felt in his pocket and found a Yorkie bar.
'Here. Pop that in your mouth – and don't tell your mum!'
I was feeling a bit queasy. I hoped the chocolate might settle my stomach. I wasn't so sure this was a good idea but I didn't want to hurt Dad's feelings.
It tasted fine at first, just ordinary delicious creamy milk chocolate. Then it got a bit too choco-latey. I felt as if I had a mouthful of oozy chocolate mud. I had a hard time swallowing it down.
'Thanks, Dad. That was totally yummy,' I mumbled, my teeth still stuck together. I remembered last Easter when I had five big chocolate Easter eggs and twelve little ones. Biscuits bet me I couldn't eat them all in one go. I insisted I could.
I was mistaken.
My tummy started churning unpleasantly at the memory. I decided to go indoors. Perhaps I'd feel a bit better if I had a little flop on my bed.
Callum was just coming in the front door. He had something in his hand, holding it behind his back as he walked past the kitchen door, obviously not 98
wanting Mum to spot it. I nodded wanly at him and trudged upstairs. The smell of the bolognese sauce was making me feel a lot worse.
'Hey, Gem! Hang on a tick.' Callum bounded up the stairs after me. 'How are you feeling, little sis?'
'Not great,' I mumbled.
'Yeah, I thought as much,' Callum said sympathetically. 'Well, this should cheer you up.' He produced a giant whippy ice cream with strawberry sauce and two ninety-nine chocolate flakes.
'Oh!' I gasped.
'Ssh! Don't let Mum hear. You know what she's like about eating before meals. Though I don't know why she fusses so. You never ever lose your appetite.'
'Maybe – maybe just this once – I'm not all that hungry, actually,' I said, clutching my tummy. 'Could I maybe eat it later, Callum?'
'But it's starting to drip a bit already. Go on, Gem, eat it up,' said Callum.
So I did. I licked the strawberry sauce, swallowed the ice cream and nibbled my way along both chocolate flakes. I even crunched up the cone. Callum cheered me on all the while.
'That's my little sis,' he said.
I staggered to my bedroom and lay on my bed, clutching my tummy.
99
At least it was a distraction from the misery of missing Alice. I missed her sooooo much.
The smell of spaghetti bolognese got stronger and stronger and stronger.
'Where are you, Gemma?' Mum called. 'Tea time!'
I sat up very slowly. I took a deep breath. I trailed downstairs. Mum had set the table properly with her best embroidered tablecloth and the rosy plates she usually kept for visitors. The spaghetti bolognese steamed in its special big blue dish. The chocolate gateau was there too, gleaming on the glass cake plate, oozing cream.
Everyone was sitting up at the table, even Jack.
They all smiled at me encouragingly.
'Sit yourself down, dear,' said Mum. 'Right. Let's get you served first.'
She put an extra huge portion of spaghetti bolognese on my plate. I looked at the glistening brown meat sauce and the writhing worms of the spaghetti.
I opened my mouth. And then suddenly I was violently sick – on the spaghetti
bolognese, the chocolate
gateau, the rosy plates,
the embroidered table-
cloth and my own lap.
Nine
Iwas sent to bed in disgrace. It looked like I was going to take up permanent residence in my bedroom. I'd grow white and wasted, stuck in a horizontal position for ever, with only the ceiling to stare at.
I'd be the Girl-in-the-Bedroom, not properly part of the family. Mum and Dad and Callum and Jack would forget all about me. Alice would forget me too. But I'd never ever ever forget her.
I sat up and found my school bag. I inked ALICE
IS MY BEST FRIEND FOR EVER all over the cover of my rough book. I wrote it on my book
review book and then I opened it up and wrote a review about a book
called Best Friends. I'd never read a book called Best Friends.
I didn't know if one even <
existed. If Mrs Watson
queried it I'd tell her
I borrowed it from the library.
101
I'd made up books before. It was more fun review-ing pretendy books than real ones. I once wrote about a book called One Hundred and One Chocolate Bars. I described as many as I could, all total inven-tion. Bisc
uits helped me when I ran out of ideas.
His chocolate bars were all giant size with astonishing fillings. I remember his sausage and mash flavour chocolate truffles and his novelty egg and bacon bar. But Biscuits was my Worst Enemy now.
Best Friends
This is the best book ever because of its subject matter, i.e. Best Friends. The g i n s in this book have been friends an their lives.
Then they are separated by their thoughtless selfish families. They end up living hundreds of miles apart. This is HEARTBREAKING I assure you But the reason this is the t e s t book ever is because it has a happy ending. The g i n up in Scotland comes tack home because her family hate it up there. They move back to their old house and the two girls are t e s t friends again.
I clasped my book review to my chest, shut my eyes tight, and wished that my story would have that happy ending too.
I heard Barking Mad scuffling on the stairs.
Jack put his head round the door.
102
'How's the Projectile Vomiter?' he said.
'Shut your mouth.'
'No, you're the one who should learn to keep her mouth shut. I was the poor sap sitting opposite you.
Talk about yuck! And the smell! I had to strip off and have a shower, even though I already had a shower this morning.'
Jacula Vampire acts like all water is holy and a little sprinkle will make him shrivel up. He's got a cheek moaning about the smell of my sick. It's not always a good idea to get downwind of my brother Jack.
'Just bog off,' I mumbled, burying my head in my pillow.
'Gem? Look, I'm sorry.' Jack sat on the end of my bed and took hold of me by the ankle. 'Hey, do you want to ring Alice again on my mobile?'
'I don't know her new number. I need her to phone me. But her mum won't let her. She hates me, you know she does. She wants Alice to forget all about me. And maybe she will,' I wailed, starting to cry.
Jack backed rapidly out of my room. He's always fazed if people cry. Maybe it's too watery an experience for him.
He must have told on me to Mum because she came up from the kitchen.
'I've filled the washing machine twice over, and 103
I've had to tackle the tablecloth by hand. That was a job and a half, I can tell you,' said Mum, wiping her wet hands on her trousers. 'What are you like, Gemma? Why can't you be sick neatly down the toilet like everyone else?'
I kept my head in the pillow.
'Are you crying? Jack said you seemed very upset.
You're not still feeling poorly, are you? If you're going to be sick again you'd better get into that bathroom pronto.'
'I'm not feeling sick. I'm feeling sad,' I sobbed.
Mum sighed. Then she came and sat on the bed beside me. 'Poor old Gemmie,' she said softly.
She used to call me Gemmie
long ago when I was little and
looked a lot cuter and she still
had hopes I'd turn into a curly-
girly like Alice.
'I miss her so much, Mum!'
'Oh come on, Gem, you're
being a bit of a drama queen now. She's only been gone five minutes. You haven't had time to miss her.'
'But I do! I've seen Alice almost every single day since we were born.'
'I suppose you have. Well, you'll just have to find a new friend now, won't you?'
'I don't want a new friend! How many times do 104
I have to say it?'
'Hey hey! Don't take that tone of voice with me,'
said Mum, giving me a little shake.
'You don't understand, Mum. Look, what if Dad had to go and live in Scotland. You'd get cross if someone told you to go and find a new husband the minute he was gone!'
'Mmm,' said Mum. She raised her eyebrows.
'Maybe I could be tempted! Your dad's got a bit worn around the edges.' She shook her head when she saw my expression. 'I'm only joking, pet. Of course I wouldn't swap your dad for the world. But losing a friend isn't the same. Look, Karen is my friend but I'm not making a big fuss about her going, though I'll miss her a lot.'
Mum wouldn't miss her the way I was missing Alice. Mum and Auntie Karen were never that close.
They went to keep fit together, and line dancing, and they sometimes went up to London to do a bit of shopping but that was all. They could go weeks without seeing each other. Mum had gone off Auntie Karen recently because she'd got a bit snobby and stuck up. Auntie Karen kept showing off about her new blonde highlights and her Juicy sports clothes and her state-of-the-art new mobile . . .
'Mum! Auntie Karen's mobile!'
'What about it?'
'You've got her number! Oh please, let's phone her.'
105
'Get real, Gemma. She's not going to let you talk to Alice. She says you're a bad influence. Which you are, heaven help me.'
'Can't you beg her, Mum? Just for two minutes?
I need to know that Alice is OK. I mean, if I'm crying just think what she'll be like.'
'Spouting fountains,' said Mum. 'All right. We'll give it a go. If you promise to be as good as gold and stop all this fussing.'
'Right!' I said, bouncing upright.
'Now just take it easy! You've just been sick, remember? I certainly do! And don't get all excited because I don't think you'll have much luck.'
We went downstairs to the phone in the hall.
Mum dialled the number. She waited. Then she took a deep breath.
'Hi, Karen.' She used her Can I help you, madam ? shop voice to show she could be dead posh too. 'Yes, it's Liz. So, how was the journey? What were the removal men like? Is it going to be the house of your dreams?'
I knew Mum was simply trying to be
friendly and relax Auntie Karen but these questions were fatal. Auntie Karen's voice droned on in Mum's ear for the next ten minutes. Mum murmured politely for a bit but then she started fidgeting.
There's no way anyone can interrupt 106
Auntie Karen when she gets going. Mum raised her eyebrows. Then she held the phone at arm's length.
Words like conservatory and ensuite bathroom and power shower buzzed round the room like bees.
Mum pulled a face at the phone and mouthed rabbit rabbit rabbit. I snorted with laughter and had to cover my mouth with my hands. Mum shook her head at me but she was grinning too.
'It all sounds lovely, Karen, really,' Mum said.
'And Alice is so lucky. Imagine, her own bathroom!
How is Alice? Our Gemma's very down, missing her so much. Listen, I know Gemma's been a very naughty girl – though actually I don't think that running away idea was all down to her. But anyway, do you think you could possibly let her have a little chat with Alice?'
Mum listened.
'She phoned yesterday pretending to be who?'
Mum said, glaring at me. 'Oh my Lord, what am I going to do with the child? Well, I'll certainly tick her off soundly. Even so, if she apologizes very nicely could she just talk for two minutes to Alice?'
Mum waited.
I waited. I hardly dared breathe. Then Mum smiled and handed me the phone.
'Hi, Gem!'
'Oh Alice, it's so awful!' I said. 'I miss you so much.'
107
'I know, I know. I miss you too, terribly.'
'Have you been crying?'
'Lots. My eyes are all pink. I cried so much in the car coming up here that Mum got cross with me.'
'My mum's been very cross with me,' I said.
I glanced at her guiltily. 'But she's being ever so nice now.'
'Well, mine is too, I suppose. And Dad. Golden Syrup got lost in the move along with a whole chest of my things but Dad's bought me a new teddy, a special girl teddy in a ballet dress. She's so cute, with little satin ballet shoes on her paws.'
'What about my grandma's doll?' I asked anxiously. 'She didn't get lost, did she?'
'Oh no, Melissa's fine.'
'Honest?'
'I swear, Gem. Mum wrapped her up
in bubble wrap and we carried her in a special bag with all the china ornaments. Mum said I should really have given her back to you. Do you want her back, Gemma?'
I did want her back badly, especially now Grandad had told me more about my grandma, but I didn't like to ask.
'No, I want you to keep her, Alice,' I said. 'When you're feeling extra specially lonely you can give her a cuddle and pretend she's me.'
108
'I can't cuddle her, she'd get spoilt,' said Alice.
But then she added, whispering, 'Do you know what I did nearly all the way in the car? I held my own thumb and pretended it was you holding my hand.'
'Oh Alice,' I said, crying again.
'Oh Gem,' said Alice.
I heard Auntie Karen saying stuff in the background, sounding exasperated.
'I've got to go, Gemma,' said Alice.
'Wait! What's your land phone number?'
'We haven't got one yet.'
'Well, what's your address?'
'Greystanes, Rothaven, Angus. I don't know the postcode thingy yet. I'll write, Gemma, I promise.
Bye now.'
'We are still best friends, aren't we?'
'You know we are. For ever.'
She switched off the phone. I felt as if I'd been switched off too. I flopped down on the stairs, cradling the phone as if Alice herself was trapped inside.
'Look at you!' said Mum, shaking her head. 'That phone call was meant to cheer you up. Dear oh dear, don't go so dramatic on me. The pair of you are acting like Romeo and Juliet.'
I'd watched the video with Callum and thought it seriously cool, though I couldn't always work out what the words meant.
109
'I feel like Romeo and Juliet. Look what happened to them. They died.'
'Yes, well, you've got to go on living, sweetheart.
Here, you missed your chance getting your grandma's doll back, you silly girl. Karen had no right to let Alice accept it. And what's all this about you phon-ing her up and pretending to be someone else?'
'I said I was Francesca Gilmore-Brown. She's this awful snooty-pops girl in Alice's ballet class. I just went, "Oh, I'm awfully sorry to bother you, but could I possibly have a teensie word with Alice?"
and Auntie Karen went all yucky, like, "Oh Francesca, sweetie, how lovely to hear from you.
Best Friends Page 7