by Cindi Madsen
And he was right. Dani had an amazing voice.
Had he imagined that moment onstage when she’d delivered that line—it was a flirty line, right? Did that mean his attraction to her wasn’t one-sided? If he’d misread it, making a move could screw up everything. But if he did nothing, he might regret it forever.
Then again, she might be talking to Paul forever.
“Hey, you want to go get a drink?” Paul asked her. “Or we could just go to my place and hang out for a while.”
Wes’s insides revolted at the thought of Paul taking her home. Suddenly, he had to fight the urge to take a swing at one of his best friends. His mind started coming up with excuses why she shouldn’t—couldn’t—go. But he wasn’t her dad, and if she wanted to…
Shit, what if she wants to?
He couldn’t hear what she said, but then she leaned in and hugged Paul.
Every muscle in Wes’s body tensed.
Then she called out a good-bye to Rob, waved at Paul, and stepped toward him. His blood cooled and his body relaxed. She was coming home with him. He picked up his guitar and put his other hand on her back. “Ready?”
She nodded.
They got into his car and started down the road. As much as he wanted to stare at her, he decided he probably shouldn’t almost run any more red lights.
She kicked off her shoes and tucked one of her legs up. “I probably should’ve gone with Paul. I haven’t had a cute guy ask me out in a while.” She looked at him. Did she really want a response to that? He should tell her Paul was a great guy, but the words stayed lodged in his throat.
He exhaled, deciding to leave Paul out of it. “You would have guys all over you if you wore that dress all the time.”
“My backwards dress? Or do I need to turn it around so my boobs are hanging out?”
Holy shit. She really was trying to kill him. Now he was thinking about her boobs and he had to shift in his seat.
She glanced at him, her cheeks flushed. “Just pretend I didn’t say that.”
Easier said than done.
“All I was saying was…” She dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t know anymore.”
All I’m saying is you don’t need to find another guy. I’ll be that guy. He wanted to have the balls to say it. But if she were even thinking about going home with Paul, he had misread her. And either way, it didn’t change the fact that she was leaving tomorrow. And they were supposed to be pretend-engaged again in two weeks.
Better to wait and see what happened then.
In theory.
…
Dani kicked her shoes off as soon as they stepped inside Wes’s apartment. She considered flopping onto the couch, but the odds weren’t good she’d get up again if she did. Her feet ached all the way to her bones, and her muscles were too tight.
Not to mention it was almost two a.m., and she had a plane to catch at the butt crack of dawn. When she’d booked the flight, she’d been thinking she’d get an early one so she could catch up on work and be ready for Monday morning. Now she was thinking she’d give anything for a few more hours with Wes, even if they were just talking about nothing until the sun rose, the way they used to do in college.
She looked up to find him watching her. He glanced away. “So…?”
“I’ve got an early flight.”
“Yeah.”
“I should probably get some sleep.” She waited to see if he’d stop her. She wanted him to. It caused a feather of fear, thinking about taking that risk with Wes, but the thrill of how great it might be was mixed in there, too.
He nodded. “Right. Well, I’ll set my alarm on my phone in case you don’t hear yours.”
She smiled. “It happens all the time. I’ve even had to move my alarm right next to me. I think I need one that shoots water or something.”
“I think I’d scour the world to find one of those only so I could be there the first time it woke you up.”
That brought an image of waking up with him in her bed. Or his bed. Didn’t really matter. She waited a beat longer, pointed in the direction of his hallway, like he’d be so confused if she simply walked down it first, then took slow steps toward his bedroom.
To her surprise, Wes followed her. She spun around in the doorway.
“Thanks for coming,” he said. “The engagement thing aside, I’ve had a blast.”
Wait. Is he saying pretending to be engaged wasn’t fun? Or is he saying… Hell, I don’t know what he means.
Time and time again, she’d heard that you should just tell a guy what you want. That they’re not mind readers—as if they’re not cryptic or hard to understand, either.
So what do I want?
Her eyes drank him in again. The pale blue eyes, five o’clock shadow, and rumpled shirt. Her body heated as she thought about the muscles he was hiding under that button-down. Her fingers twitched at her sides, wanting to be bold enough to reach up and undo one button at a time.
She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry.
Would it be so bad, just for tonight, to have his body pressed against hers? It’d been a while since she’d been with anyone. And if she was going to get back in the game, she might as well get a jump-start with someone she knew she could trust, even if it was only one night.
One night before he found out about Sophie and he wasn’t hers anymore.
“Dani?” Her name came out a whisper from his lips.
Her heart squeezed, her blood rushed through her veins, and she could feel herself coming undone. He made her forget her fears. Made her a little reckless.
But there was reckless and then there was stupid. How could she get over a night of casual sex with him? It’d ruin everything they’d built over the years. She was stronger than that.
He stepped closer, eradicating the space between them, and cupped her cheek. Her resolve unraveled.
Then he leaned forward and gave her other cheek a peck, similar to the ones he’d given her this week. “Good night.”
A scratchy “good night” left her mouth.
He turned and walked away. With every step, a string in her heart tugged.
She told herself it was for the best.
But it didn’t feel like the best.
It felt like falling apart, one piece at a time.
Chapter Eleven
The ride to the airport somehow managed to be too fast and too slow, too quiet and too loud. Wes changed lanes, grumbled when the car ahead of him was barely moving, and changed lanes again. Last night he’d practically made a move. Dani had frozen, something he vaguely remembered her doing the first time he’d kissed her.
This morning she was quiet, probably worried he’d try again. He wanted to say something about how tired he’d been or make a comment about how crazy last night was. But he hoped she was too tired to remember and didn’t want to remind her if she actually didn’t.
He’d avoided dating so he wouldn’t have to question every move he made, and now here he was, more screwed up than ever. As soon as he dropped her off, he was going to get in a helicopter and fly far away from everything and everyone. Then he’d get his head straight.
Dani tucked her hair behind her ear, and that one rebellious section immediately fell forward, the way it always did. “Last night, I…”
Wes tensed, terrified of the next words out of her mouth.
She shifted in her seat to face him. “I never got to tell you that I’ve had a great time with you, too. I’m even considering smuggling you to Arkansas in my suitcase. You can hold your breath for three or four hours, right?”
He laughed, the stress filling his body easing. “Give or take a few hours.”
The tension in her features lifted. The signs for the airport listed off the airlines and which lane to get in for each of them. “You want me to park and come in with you? Help check your bag and all that?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”
He veered toward the departures area, pulled up t
o the curb, and put the car in park. He wanted to move his hand to her knee, but they were finally back to normal. He couldn’t jeopardize that. “Two weeks and I’ll be coming to see you. By the time I’m done laying on the charm, the promotion will be all yours.”
“If anyone can charm my way in, I’m sure it’s you.”
He reached for the door handle so he could grab her bag for her.
“Wes?” She put her hand on his arm and he froze. The tension was back in her posture and he silently swore. “I have to tell you something. About Sophie.”
Her tension transferred to him, coiling his insides into a tight knot. “What about her?”
Dani took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling. “She still loves you. And I know you still love her.”
“I don’t,” he said, frustration rising up in him. How many times did he have to say it before people finally got it?
She pressed her lips together. “I know I said I didn’t want your family to know our engagement was a lie, but I think you should tell Sophie. You two should try to work it out.”
He opened his mouth to protest again, but she cut him off.
“Just think about it. You owe it to her and to yourself to see if there’s something still there.”
He was sure there wasn’t, not with the way he felt about the girl sitting in the car with him. But if she felt the same, she wouldn’t be telling him to pursue his ex.
Now he was more confused than ever.
“I’ll help however I can,” Dani said. “Even if it means you can’t come to my company retreat with me.”
Oh, no. He wasn’t going to let her cancel on him, not when everything between them was so up in the air right now. “I’m coming,” he firmly said. Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough on how much she meant to him, whether or not that kiss last night meant the same to her as it did to him. “I meant what I said at the wedding. It’s you and me, no matter who else comes into our lives.”
“That’s probably not the best decision if we ever want to move on and have healthy relationships. Think about it. I know I caused problems with you two, just like our friendship has always bugged every guy I ever dated.”
He lowered his eyebrows, staring at the steering wheel. “It sounds like you’re breaking up with me.”
“You know I could never do that.” She sighed. “I…I just want you to be happy. I should’ve told you a few days ago, after Sophie talked to me. And again at the wedding, when she told me how much she regretted breaking it off with you.”
He waited to feel the warm satisfaction. Instead he felt hollow.
“And eventually, I’m going to find a guy, too,” she said. “So don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
He gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to slam his fist into the steering wheel.
“I gotta go.” She leaned across the seat and hugged him. There was too much space between them. Too much unsaid.
He hugged her back. If his whiskers were longer, he’d have brushed them against her cheek to hear her squeal. To have a chance to be that close again.
She started out of the car and then lifted her hand. “The ring. I forgot.”
“It’s better if you just keep it till I get there,” Wes said. “And I am coming, okay? No matter what else happens, I’m helping you get that job.”
“But if it—”
“Still going to show up, so you might as well get used to the idea.”
The dimple in her cheek flashed. “Okay. Until then.” She grabbed her bag out of the back, waved, and she was gone, the doors to the airport closing behind her.
The immediate sense of loss was déjà vu, reminding him of when they’d said good-bye the first time she went to Arkansas. All those feelings echoed through him again. The squeeze in his chest, the loneliness pressing against his skin. Like he’d never get her back and his life would always be worse for it.
Only now the pain was sharper, more a stabbing than a pressing. It felt like she’d taken all the happiness, all the oxygen, with her.
He’d meant what he said about always being there for her, no matter what. But what happened when she found a good guy who saw how awesome she was? When she didn’t need to call him for advice and she was busy being in love with someone else?
I’ll probably be the one to end up alone.
He scrubbed a hand across his face; now he was turning into a sap. Must be lack of sleep. He let out a breath, allowing himself to think on what Dani had told him about Sophie. A few months ago—maybe even a few weeks ago—he might’ve considered giving it another shot. Now he didn’t know what to do.
Sophie or Dani? Where to put his focus?
If Dani had shown any signs of wanting him…
Or if she wasn’t a couple of states away…
Or a hundred other ifs.
But say Sophie did want him. And she did live here. They’d almost made it work before, and he did still care about her. Enough to try again, though?
The security guard patrolling the lanes gave Wes a pointed look he took to mean You’ve exceeded your time limit. Wes made a big show of putting his car in gear. But before merging into traffic, he got out his phone and scrolled to Sophie’s name.
…
Dani dropped her suitcase and laptop bag the second she entered her apartment; her neck ached from carrying everything through two airports. She tossed the mail she’d brought up from her box onto the coffee table—lots and lots of bills—and flopped onto the couch in her very silent place. She almost wished for a ticking clock just to fill the silence. Anything to keep her company.
Guess I should check my e-mails and catch up on work stuff. With a groan, she got off the couch, grabbed her laptop, and settled back down on the cushions. Two days of not checking her inbox and there was more than one page could hold. Work stuff. A couple of online sites where she frequently shopped telling her about deals. Not a single personal e-mail in the bunch.
Over the next few hours she clicked through message after message, took care of the urgent business, and typed up a to-do list for tomorrow, squeezing in tasks between meetings. She called Mama to check in, and even got to talk to Abuela, who sounded more upbeat than she had in a long time, though Dani could still hear the wheeze in her voice.
And then there was the silence again. No Wes to hang out with. No adventure waiting just around the corner.
This is my life.
My life sucks.
I need to change my life.
No more being the lonely pathetic girl who never did anything but go to work. Time to follow through on what she said she would and put herself out there. She just needed to figure out how exactly to do that. Going to a bar to wait and see if she just so happened to meet someone cool wasn’t going to work, especially not all alone. She didn’t want to be the sad girl dying for any random guy to talk to her. There were always dating sites—her junk mail folder was full of them. But she wasn’t going to use any service that spammed her, on principle. Plus, most of them had icky names.
So she searched dating sites, found one that looked promising, and spent an hour filling out dozens of questions. By the end, she’d discovered things about herself she hadn’t even known, and she wasn’t sure she’d wanted to know.
She closed her laptop, and the light caught the large diamond on her finger. It was probably time to take off the ring, considering she’d just spent so much time and money on trying to find someone new to date.
Her phone beeped. A text from Wes, checking in on her.
She sent a text back, telling him she was home. She wanted to ask if he’d talked to Sophie yet but held back. He’d tell her in his own time. And honestly, she wasn’t ready for the news that he wasn’t hers anymore.
Her phone chimed again.
Wes: I miss you already.
Warmth filled her chest, and a giant lump formed in her throat.
Another chime.
Wes: All my other friends are boring. No one else will go ride the bull
with me or bust into Kelly Clarkson songs.
Dani: Well, I am pretty special like that :)
Wes: Yes you are. Plus you’re a lot prettier to look at.
She stared at the text, feeling that annoying squeeze in her chest. She didn’t know how to respond—was he flirting? Finally, she just decided to respond with the truth.
Dani: I miss you, too.
She glanced at her open laptop and noticed a new message in her inbox. It was from the dating site, so she figured it’d be verifying her subscription. Instead, it was a message from a guy asking her a couple of getting-to-know-you-type questions.
Well, that was fast. This online dating thing might actually work out.
So even though she did miss Wes like crazy, it was time to put him back in the friendship box and prove to herself there were other fish in the sea. Or at least other reasonably-attractive-according-to-a-most-likely-doctored-picture men who wanted to get to know her.
She sent a message back, answering his questions and asking more about him.
The possibility of moving on and starting a new chapter in her life should’ve made her feel empowered. So why did she feel like curling into a ball on her couch and crying?
Chapter Twelve
Moving on sucked.
Why did I think actually meeting this guy would be a good idea?
Now she was sitting in some bar she’d never been to before, all alone, looking desperately at the faces of every man who passed, wondering if he were her date for the night. Or maybe just for the hour. If it was really awful, it might even be more like five minutes. She couldn’t believe she was freaking paying thirty bucks a month for this torture.
She didn’t want to start all over again.
She wanted to go back to her quiet apartment and call Wes. Wanted to hear his voice and tell him about her pathetic attempt at online dating. He’d cheer her up and the world would be better, even if she wasn’t technically moving on from anything.
“Danielle?”
Dani glanced in the direction the deep voice had come from. And then lifted her gaze up and up some more. As she’d learned in the messages they’d sent back and forth over the last few days, basketball was one of their common interests. Whereas she was a short guard, good from the three-point line, this guy looked like the kind of player who’d post up near the basket. Tall, dark skin, killer grin.