by Cindi Madsen
“And you’re not willing to consider the possibility of moving back to North Carolina?”
She thought about not having a job and relying on Wes not only for herself but to help support Mama and Abuela. That would be enough to ruin a relationship before it even started. In time, maybe she could save up. Look for jobs that might take her back to North Carolina.
She exhaled. “Maybe eventually. Until then, though, I think it’s best we don’t put pressure on ourselves either way. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out. If not… Well, you’ll always be my best friend and I need you as that, especially right now.” Her chest ached at the truthfulness of the words. She didn’t want them to be true, but she’d thought about this way too much in the last few weeks.
He leaned his elbows on his knees and dropped his head in his hands.
“You know I’m right,” she said. “Even though I’m sure that right now you’re thinking of how to prove me wrong.”
“I know you well enough to know that once you set your mind to something, it’s almost impossible to change it. Once in a while a dare will work, though.”
“It’s not going to work now.”
His blue eyes lifted and cut right through her. “You took a chance on moving out here with Steve. Why him and not me?”
“That was a mistake, obviously.” And maybe it was the reason she was too worried to try it again. Steve had left her with an expensive rent to pay by herself, and not that she’d expected financial help with her surgery, but she’d expected him not to leave her alone to recover. What if she moved her entire life and then Wes changed his mind about her in a month? Or even a year?
Wes’s jaw clenched. “But you were still willing to risk it.” He stood, the tension in the set of his shoulders clear. “I’m going to go change that tire now.”
“Wes.” She stepped into his path as he moved for the door. “Wes.” All that kept coming out was his name, because she didn’t know what else to say. Hot tears sprang to her eyes. “Please don’t go now. We’re not done talking this out.”
“There’s not much point in talking anymore. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
The cool air wafted into the room as he swung the door open, and then it was just her alone in the room, the echo of the door slam reverberating in her ears.
…
Wes stepped into the cool air, but it didn’t help the hot anger pumping through his veins. How could this night go from the best ever to the worst so quickly? He’d had Dani right there in his arms. He’d thought nothing had felt so right in his entire life.
And then it’d all come undone so quickly.
Honestly, it’d kill him to give up his dream job. He’d actually considered it, though. But Dani…
Her refusal to even try was a punch to the gut, deflated lungs, a slap in the face. The girl he’d always loved in one way or another not only thought he was irresponsible, she thought he wasn’t worth the risk.
The front tire of Dani’s car was totally flat. So maybe she had a point about him not thinking things through. Who expects a back road to be full of nails, though? You’d think no one would ever drive them.
Maybe that’s why no one did.
Since he knew she didn’t have another spare tire, it wasn’t like he could even fix it. He sank down on the curb in front of the car. He didn’t know how he was supposed to go back and sleep in the same one-bed room as her or manage to be all cheery and “we’re engaged” tomorrow in front of her co-workers. His first instinct to wait until the end of the trip had been a good one, but like Dani said, he was impulsive.
Damn Linda and George. If they hadn’t interrupted, he and Dani wouldn’t have slowed down so she could start overthinking everything like she always did. He might even be lying next to her right now, nothing between them.
He shook his head. This wasn’t helping. But damn, he was frustrated as hell. In every way possible.
His phone rang, vibrating in his pocket. He dug it out and glanced at the display.
A conversation with Mom—especially if she mentioned the wedding—would probably make him feel worse. It was hard to ignore her call, though. He always felt like she’d know that he could’ve taken it but didn’t.
He sighed and answered.
Sobs greeted him first.
His nerve endings pricked up, and he sat straighter. “Mom?”
“It’s A-Audrey. She’s in t-the hospital.”
Chapter Seventeen
Wes burst through the door. One look at the grim expression on his pale face told her something major was wrong. Dani shot to her feet. “Are you okay?”
“Audrey’s in the hospital. My mom doesn’t know how bad it is and she’s freaking out. I told her I’d be there as soon as I could.” He grabbed the clothes he had lying around and shoved them into his suitcase.
“By the time you drive to Little Rock, there probably won’t be any flights out until tomorrow.”
“I’ll just drive all the way home, then.”
“In what? My car’s got a flat tire and a dinky spare.”
“I’ll figure something out,” he said, and his harsh tone made her flinch. Under normal circumstances that might be enough to scare her off, but not when she could see the pain hanging heavy on his features.
She placed her hand on his arm. “Wes. We’ll get you there first thing tomorrow.”
He closed his eyes and dragged a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m the one who told her to go have an adventure. I even teased her about being boring. So she and Matthew went cliff diving. And now—” His voice cracked. “What if she…”
“She won’t.” Dani wrapped her arms around Wes’s waist, hugging him tightly. “It’ll be okay.”
For a moment, his body remained stiff, but then he relaxed, his weight nearly making her stumble. She maneuvered them over to the bed and sat him down. He looked lost, and she didn’t know how to fix it or what to say. So she bent down and pulled off his shoes, then urged him to lie down. His gaze remained on the ceiling, unfocused.
Dani’s mind started whirring, all the ways to get him back to North Carolina as soon as possible flashing through her mind. Get tires and then her car? Taxi to the airport? I should go book him a flight.
She was about to get online, regardless of the spotty Wi-Fi, but Wes caught her hand. His eyes met hers, and there was so much vulnerability there it ripped her heart in two. So she crawled onto the bed next to him.
They didn’t talk. Didn’t move.
Just lay there in silence until Wes’s breathing slowed and his body relaxed.
Dani waited a few more minutes and then carefully propped herself on her elbow and looked at him. Her heart swelled and a giant lump formed in her throat. Again, she thought of how much she loved him—everything about him. His sense of humor, his kindness, and even his impulsive nature and how he challenged her. She loved the slope of his nose and his wavy hair and his strong jawline, clean-shaven or covered in stubble. She loved him so much it sent a pang of longing through her, yet she’d rejected him earlier tonight.
I must be stupid. All the analyzing in the world didn’t matter if you couldn’t imagine not spending every day next to someone. Here she was, clinging to a job she barely liked. Would she even like it more if she got promoted?
Not enough to give up the one steady thing in her life. When she’d been listing off all their obstacles and reasons they couldn’t be together, she’d somehow forgotten that. No matter how impulsive he was, he’d always been there for her. Maybe they’d crash and burn, but Wes was right. It was worse not to have taken a chance. And he deserved for her to take that chance on him.
She needed to make everything up to him. She figured getting him back to his family as soon as possible was a good place to start. Keeping her movements slow, she got off the bed and tiptoed to her laptop. After several searches she managed to book him a flight to Charlotte. There was only one ticket, so she wasn’t sure if she should try to get a later flight or wait a
nd see what he found out when he got home—she didn’t even know if Audrey and Matthew were in Charlotte, or if they were still on their honeymoon.
Now do I try to get my tires fixed first thing in the morning so I can drive him or ask a co-worker to borrow a car?
She glanced at Wes’s sleeping figure and hoped with all her heart that his sister was okay. She knew he’d never fully recover if she weren’t.
“Are you sure I can’t drive you?” Dani asked.
Wes shook his head. “I want you to stay here and get that job you deserve.”
“I don’t care about that. If you need me, I want to be with you.”
He came over and put his hand on her shoulder. “You did enough. Thanks for taking care of the flight.”
She didn’t know what else to say, so she just nodded.
“And about last night…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
Dani waited, her breath caught in her throat, thinking of sleeping next to him all night.
“You were right,” he said. “A romantic relationship would be a bad idea. I’m glad one of us was thinking clearly.”
Pain. So much pain pushing against her chest she couldn’t breathe. Regret and all the things she should’ve said filled her, deepening the ache. But she held them in, too scared to say them now.
A yellow cab pulled up outside.
“Call me when you know more, okay?” she said.
“I will.” Wes cupped her cheek. “Take care of yourself. And good luck on that promotion. I have a feeling it’s already yours.”
Dani bit her lip to fight the tears threatening to spill.
He gave her a quick, one-armed hug and then he was out the door and heaving his suitcase into the taxi.
She wanted to burst out the door yelling, “Wait, I made a mistake!” Instead, she watched the car pull away, the red lights cutting through the gray morning.
So she told herself it was for the best.
But the hollow aching between her ribs spoke much louder.
…
By the time Wes got to the hospital in Mooresville, he was exhausted. Last night he’d nearly had a meltdown, but he’d held his feelings in check all day, and they were scraping at his insides, wanting to spill out.
He swallowed them down. Mom would need him to be strong, so he’d be strong. All he knew now was that Audrey and Matthew had decided to do something crazy their last week off before work, and taking Wes’s suggestion, had driven the thirty minutes to Mooresville to go cliff diving.
The hospital was small, so it didn’t take him long to find Mom in the waiting room. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. She threw her arms around him and cried on his shoulder, and for a moment, his heart broke as he thought the worst must’ve happened—that his sister was gone.
“She’s still in the ICU, but her vitals look better.” Mom sniffed. “You just missed Jill. She went to grab some food.”
“How’s Matthew doing?”
“He’s a wreck.”
Now Wes wished he hadn’t asked. It didn’t help anything. For about the hundredth time today he wished he would’ve taken Dani up on her offer to fly back with him. He needed space from her, though. Last night when she’d hugged him, he’d almost forgotten that she’d crushed him only minutes before.
Almost.
He could see how hard she was trying this morning to make it up to him, like her not loving him enough could be fixed by plane tickets and hugs.
“Is Dani coming?” Mom asked, as if she could read his thoughts.
“She had to work.” Wes glanced down the hallway. “I want to see Audrey.”
The halls of the hospital were all white, with lights that emphasized their blankness. The scent of disinfectant saturated the air, and he tried not to think about the fact that the cleaner might’ve been used to clean up blood.
When they reached the ICU area, Dad embraced him and patted his back. He tried to say something, but all that came out were a few indecipherable words and tears.
Wes peered through the window at Audrey. Machines surrounded her, flashing stats. The peek of her face he could see was puffy and bruised. His little sister. Broken.
What if they never got to talk and laugh together again? Right now he’d even take her yelling at him, telling him he’d stolen her thunder.
What if she couldn’t walk again?
Never woke up again?
Tears lodged in his throat. The walls were closing in; his hands were trembling.
He turned to Matthew, fighting the urge to ask how he could let that happen to her. But his eyes were bloodshot, his face blotchy. It was as though all the life had been drained out of him and a shell of a person was standing there instead.
And suddenly he was glad that he and Dani hadn’t crossed into more. If anything happened to her, he’d still be crushed, but the thought of being that invested in another person made his insides grow cold and hard. From now on, no more relationships. No more acting on impulse, either. It had gotten him rejected by his best friend and dealing with a sister in the hospital in critical condition.
He was done with his stupid adventures.
With everything.
Chapter Eighteen
Dani spent half her day explaining why Wes wasn’t there. And then her co-workers would ask the inevitable question: Is his sister going to be okay?
And she didn’t know.
At lunchtime, Bill drove her into town in his truck to get two new tires, even offering to put them on. It made her feel kind of guilty. Maybe he wasn’t as awful as she’d thought. Or maybe he was feeling guilty, too.
Finally they had a grand good-bye, all Go team and Let’s make the rest of this year even better than the last!
As soon as people scattered, Dani took out her phone and calculated the time again. Wes should’ve landed more than two hours ago. She hated to bug him, but she was dying to know how Audrey was. How he was.
She bit her thumbnail, telling herself to give him time.
Then she called him anyway.
No answer.
It took her thirty minutes to pack up and clear out. She turned on her GPS, following the instructions to the letter. So boring. So opposite of Wes. As mad as she’d been that he’d gotten them semi-lost, she’d take it now.
She tortured herself by replaying their kiss last night—his hand sliding up her leg, Wes asking her to move to North Carolina, the fight afterward, sleeping in the same bed. Over and over on shuffle.
By the time she got home, he still hadn’t called. She scrolled through her contacts and paused on Kathleen’s name. She’d insisted they exchange numbers for wedding planning purposes. Her finger hovered over the contact name. Would it be bad to call his mom?
Oh, who cared? She had to know what was going on.
It rang twice and then Kathleen answered.
“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how Audrey was doing.”
“She’s breathing and they say her heart rate’s steady,” Kathleen said.
In the background, she heard someone say, “Yeah, when they talk to us in that bullshit way that makes me not believe half of it.” That voice—it was Wes. Just hearing him made her pulse stutter. He was there. Not calling her. And she’d called his mom.
“Is he okay?” Dani asked.
There was a couple seconds’ pause. “I’m not sure. You wanna talk to him?”
“Yeah.”
Sounds of shuffling and muffled voices came over the phone. “It’s Dani.”
“…don’t want to talk to her.”
“She’s worried about you. Go on. Let your fiancée know what’s going on.”
“She’s not my fiancée.” His voice was no longer muffled but loud and way too clear. “Dani and I aren’t engaged, okay? I just told you we were so you’d leave me alone. But we’re not getting married. In fact, I’m not getting married. Ever. So now you know.”
She’d never heard him sound so cold before. Kathleen came back on the phone. “
Dani?”
“Can you please hand me over to Wes? Tell him it’s important.”
More shuffling noises.
“What?” Wes asked into the phone, his harsh tone slicing into her. Oh, if he wanted to fight, she’d give him a fight.
“I can’t believe you just said that. It’s one thing to fess up, but you really couldn’t think of a better time to tell her than right now, when she’s worried about Audrey?”
“You’re the one who called her.”
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” She clenched her jaw, working to tamp down her anger. “Last night…and this morning. I thought we were okay.”
“We’re fine. I just need a break. If you actually care about Audrey, you can call my mom and have her update you.”
The call cut off. He’d hung up on her.
Dani stared at the screen of her phone in shock, his words slowly sinking in. A break? He needs a break from me?
She slammed her phone down on the kitchen counter so hard the case popped off. The anger heating her veins faded bit by bit, leaving her cold. Sorrow took over as everything inside her unraveled, one thread at a time.
Tears pooled in her eyes. For so long she’d held them back, but now she let them flow. She was sick of having to be the strong one. The rational one. The one who worried all the time about bills and money and the damn healthcare system. She wanted to be the one who went out, got drunk, met some hot dude, and brought him home for the night, no care for what happened after.
Actually, that was a lie. She didn’t want the empty one-night stand. She wanted to finally be in a relationship with someone who loved her and understood her and would wrap his arms around her and tell her it’d all be okay.
And maybe she’d had a shot at that and she’d blown it.
Now he was gone.
And she was alone, crying.
Worried she’d ruined the best thing in her life.
Over the next week, Dani’s co-workers kept asking her how Wes’s sister was doing. She’d thought about calling his mom to find out, since Dani was giving Wes his stupid break, but thanks to their fake engagement, his mom probably hated her now.