by Carol Rose
Kelsey let her gaze fall to her menu, feeling her mood shift. Had it only been yesterday that she and Jared had flown home, still wrapped in the golden glow of a week alone together? She’d hated coming back to the city. Back to normal. The dream had to fade sometime, she supposed.
A waiter came and took their orders. Chloe handed her menu back with a sweet, almost child-like smile. “Thank you.”
“So are you keeping busy these days?” Kelsey asked, not wanting her deflating mood to dampen this brief visit with her mother. “Amy’s had time to catch up on all the news, but I haven’t. Are you still decorating the new house?”
“I suppose.” The older woman fidgeted with her silver. “It’s all very difficult. Armando insisted on this decorator and I can’t tolerate the woman.”
Kelsey glanced at her sister with foreboding. “She’s hard to work with?”
Her mother paused. “I think she’s having an affair with Armando.”
A sinking sensation settled in Kelsey’s stomach as she met Amy’s troubled gaze. “Are you sure? Maybe they’re just friendly.”
Chloe adjusted the vase of flowers in the center of the table. “That’s what your sister says. I know they’re friendly, all right, but I’m sure it’s more than that. I’m having him followed. It’ll break my heart if I’m right.”
“Oh, mother,” Kelsey said, reaching for her hand in an attempt to comfort. “Maybe you’re wrong. It could be nothing.”
“He’d be crazy to cheat on you,” Amy said stoutly. “You’re the best thing in his life.”
Drawing a hankie out of her tiny purse, Chloe wiped at the corner of her eye.
“Such good daughters. Always such a comfort to me,” she hesitated. “Dearest girls, I’m afraid I might have made another mistake. I thought he was different.”
There didn’t seem to be anything to say to that, so Kelsey didn’t try, although it wrenched her to see her mother so sad.
“You’re so lucky, Kelsey” her mother sniffled, smiling bravely. “I’m so thrilled for you that you’ve found Jared. He’s the perfect man. So attentive, so masculine. A man you can really rely on. He’d never have an affair with his decorator!”
“Maybe Armando isn’t either,” Amy reminded her, obviously trying to buoy Chloe’s spirits.
Kelsey sat across from her mother, silently conscious of the irony of the moment. The golden sheen of the last week glittered in her memory like sunlight on frost. So glorious, so easily evaporated.
She’d allowed herself a week of fantasy with Jared, a week of feeling loved and hopeful for something she didn’t even dare think about.
But this was real life. People loved and lost. Over and over again.
“Armando’s a great guy,” Amy declared. “It’s just a friendship, I’m sure.”
Their mother wiped at her eyes again with her fluttering handkerchief. “No. I think he’s fallen out of love with me…and me with him.”
“You’re sure things aren’t going to work out with Armando?" Kelsey asked after a long pause in which neither she nor Amy spoke.
“He was different in the beginning,” Chloe said sadly. “He brought me gifts, showered me with attention. He’d hardly let me out of bed. He was so passionate.”
Kelsey glanced down. Definitely more than she needed to know, but there was no denying that her mother was an affectionate woman.
“Everything’s different now. We hardly have two words to say to each other. I’m afraid…,” Chloe’s voice caught, “I’m afraid we might….”
Again Kelsey reached out to comfort her mother, the moment achingly familiar. “It’ll be all right, mother. You’ll always have us.”
With Amy’s arm around her, Chloe sobbed silently, discreetly, into her handkerchief.
What would it feel like to be divorced herself? The thought streaked through Kelsey’s mind as she murmured reassurances to her mother. In less than a year, she and Jared would split up, just as they’d planned. And she’d get a divorce.
It was a reality that wasn’t swayed by the last seven days.
Her stomach went queasy at the thought. The past week had been…perfect. The two of them alone, laughing, making love.
Living a lie.
How could something so hollow feel so real? She’d loved before, but never with so little encouragement. It would be foolish to let herself romanticize her husband. Of course, he’d been sweet and attentive, passionate and sensual.
He’d said from the beginning that he wanted to have sex with her. She was the one who was in danger of confusing that hormonally-crazed desire with something more substantial.
She couldn’t let herself love him, no matter the temptation. This relationship was doubly-cursed. Time-limited from the beginning, it had an even shorter shelf-life than marriages based on the fleeting emotion of love.
How would she feel to discover her husband was sleeping with another woman?
Her stomach clenching again, Kelsey drew in a deep breath. He’d made her no promises outside of the wedding ceremony. She had to remember that, had to keep her heart safe.
“You girls mustn’t worry about me,” Chloe straightened in her chair, a smile dawning on her face. She reached out a hand to pat Kelsey’s. “I’ll be fine, particularly when you deliver those grandchildren Jared promised me.”
“What?” Kelsey sat back in surprise, not sure she’d heard correctly.
“Grandbabies,” Chloe said wistfully. “I’m so glad you aren’t planning on waiting to have children. Just think, you could be pregnant now!”
Kelsey instantly envisioned the little packet of pills she relied upon to prevent just such an occurrence. Pray God she wasn’t the one out of every hundred that ended up conceiving anyway. Children were definitely a part of her future, but not now. Not in this make-believe marriage.
“Jared told you we’re planning to have children right away?” she asked her mother carefully, suppressing the outrage that flared in her at such a thought. Chloe might be confused. He’d probably made a remark she’d misconstrued.
“Oh, yes. We had a quiet moment at the reception and he just sort of let it slip out. How wonderful to have a man who’s so excited about having children.”
“He specifically said I was planning to get pregnant?” Kelsey asked again, baffled and incredulous. Fury spilled through her. How dare he?
Her sister sent her a sharp look, but said nothing.
“Yes.” Chloe beamed. “It’ll be my salvation, dear. Just what I need to help get through the divorce with Armando. I’ll move back to New York. I’m so excited about a grandbaby. Don’t be angry with him for telling me.”
Kelsey drew in a breath with effort. The emotion that crowded in her throat as she looked at her mother’s happy face went far beyond anger. How could he? Why would he promise her mother such a thing?
“Was it a secret?” Amy asked, her curiosity clearly overcoming sisterly discretion.
“No.” Kelsey hesitated, not wanting to give her sister and mother the impression that her marriage was less than perfect, but unable to promise something she knew wasn’t going to happen. “We…haven’t really talked about when we’ll have children. Not specifically, I mean.”
“Oh.” The interest in Amy’s face flickered and shifted to Chloe. “So when do you think you’ll be moving back?”
Under the cover of their conversation, Kelsey’s brain reeled from the bomb her mother had inadvertently dropped.
Jared specifically promised her grandchildren?
It made no sense.
Naturally, her mother wanted grandchildren. The thought had changed her whole demeanor. How could Jared be so cruel when he knew they wouldn’t be creating a family?
***
“Whew!” Amy sank back against the seat as the taxi sped off, their driver whistling cheerfully. They had just seen their mother off, enduring her farewell tears as best they could.
Although she’d gone through the motions and hugged her mother fondly, all K
elsey could think about was Jared telling Chloe she’d be a grandmother soon. What the hell was he up to?
“Well, what do you think?” Amy asked, turning her bright-eyed gaze on her sister.
“I think she’s leaving Armando,” Kelsey replied, having no difficulty interpreting her sister’s question. The latest development in her mother’s love life was just one more trigger, one more log laid on the fire. Relationships between men and women were torturous and perilous, and they sucked!
She felt as though she were wound tight. Sad about her mother. Furious with Jared and disappointed in him, as well. The glow of their honeymoon evaporated like bubbles from a cold bath.
“Yes,” her sister said. “I guess she is leaving him.”
“Mother getting a divorce doesn’t come as a surprise at this point,” Kelsey commented dryly.
“No,” Amy agreed, sliding her a sideways glance. “But she did like Jared…and the idea of you two having kids.”
“Yes.” As hard as she tried, Kelsey couldn’t quite keep the hostility she felt out of her voice.
“I guess he sort of jumped the gun about that, huh?” Amy commiserated with a sympathetic glance.
“Something like that.” Just the thought of his casually informing her mother that she’d have grandchildren soon made Kelsey grind her teeth. How could he have told Chloe something so patently untrue?
“I never cared for Armando,” Amy mused. “Too Continental.”
“How nice that we’ve learned to take these changes philosophically,” Kelsey said crisply. “It grows easier and easier to find a reason why our latest step-fathers should be gotten rid of.”
“Well, if he’s cheating on her…,” Amy let the comment trail off.
“Do you ever think about our father?” Kelsey asked abruptly, giving voice to a topic that had crossed her own mind more frequently of late. “Where he is? What he looks like?”
“I sometimes think about why he’s ignored us all our lives,” her sister answered matter-of-factly. “But I haven’t thought much about him lately. Why?”
Kelsey stared at the back of the cab driver’s head. “No reason.”
“Hey,” Amy said suddenly, “do you think I should have told Mom about me and Doug?”
“I don’t know,” Kelsey said, throwing her a glance and bracing herself as the taxi sped around a corner. “Is it still going well between you two?”
Amy smiled, her lips curving like a cat fat on cream. “Oh, yeah. I think we’ll move in together eventually. We’re either at his place or mine, most nights.”
“Really?” Kelsey couldn’t help the urge to caution her soft-hearted sister. “So soon? It seems kind of fast.”
The glance Amy sent her was indulgent. “I’ve known him and loved him most of my life.”
“But he hasn’t known he loves you very long,” Kelsey said, worried. She couldn’t stand the thought of Amy suffering further heartbreak over Doug.
Her sister’s sigh was filled with contentment. “We’re going sofa shopping tonight. Remember that ratty couch I’ve had for years?”
“Yes.”
“Doug’s helping pick out a new one,” Amy told her smugly.
Kelsey leaned forward, catching her sister’s hand in hers. “Amy, you know how much I love you and want you to be happy, don’t you?”
“Of course,” her sister squeezed her hand. “And I am. Just as happy with Doug as you are with Jared.”
“Good,” Kelsey said slowly, trying really hard to keep the grimness she felt off her face.
Why had Jared lied to her mother and what the hell was her husband up to now?
***
“Go right in, Mrs. Barrett,” Jared heard his secretary say as Kelsey pushed open the polished wooden door to his office.
He rose from his desk chair, his heart beating faster with a sudden surge of pleasure. She hadn’t said she was coming by.
“Oh, Mr. Barrett,” his secretary stuck her head in the door. “I made that call about the union contract. They’re still unsure of their position.”
“Thanks,” he said as she closed the door behind his wife.
Kelsey stood just inside the door, looking almost as beautiful as when he’d left her this morning, tousled and sleepy in their bed.
From the moment she’d become his wife, he’d understood why men fought and died for those they loved. He’d never imagined one woman, no matter how sexy, would evoke such powerful feelings in him.
“Sweetheart,” he said crossing the room to where she stood. “Come in.”
“Do you have to call me that?” she asked coolly.
“What?” He stopped in the act of leaning forward to kiss her.
“We agreed we wouldn’t pretend fake emotions when we’re by ourselves,” she snapped.
“Okay,” he said slowly, his mind clicking through her schedule this morning to discover what had changed his warm, responsive bride into the chilly woman before him.
“Did you get your mother on her plane?” he asked smoothly, drawing her closer. Chloe touched off all Kelsey’s worst fears.
Kelsey stepped back, avoiding his light embrace. “Why did you tell my mother we were planning on having children?”
Jared went still.
Damn. He’d known as soon as he’d talked with Chloe that it was a mistake. So excited to have his plans and dreams coming true, he’d slipped up.
Kelsey’s beautiful face was now tense with anger, the line of her jaw belligerent.
Damn.
Jared felt himself shift into crisis mode. This was why he kept emotion out of business, out of most things. Feeling like this for a woman made a man’s intellect turn to mush.
“Well?” she asked, the word sharp with impatience.
“She told you I said that,” he said, stalling for time as he scrambled for damage control.
“You told her we were going to try to get pregnant right away, didn’t you?" Kelsey demanded, the smooth dark curtain of her hair swinging against her chin.
“Why don’t we sit down and talk about this,” he suggested, turning toward a cluster of chairs.
“I can’t believe you.” Kelsey’s laugh was short and hard, but she followed him over and sat down. “Why would you say such a thing when you know it’s absolutely untrue? Do you know how disappointed mother will be when this doesn’t happen?
In a situation like this, Jared decided, a certain amount of the truth was required, mixed with a judicious amount of camouflage.
“I didn’t mean to upset your mother,” he said honestly.
“She’s not upset now,” Kelsey said scathingly. “She’s thrilled. I wouldn’t be surprised if she goes off shopping for baby clothes as soon as her plane lands.”
Kelsey brushed at suddenly damp eyes. “My mother doesn’t need any more disappointments.”
“Honey, it’ll be all right,” he said, reaching for her hand.
She jerked it back, looking at him incredulously. “How? How could this possibly be all right?”
“Well,” he said with a slow smile. “We could actually…have kids.”
Kelsey wondered for a split instant if she’d heard him right. “What!”
Jared got up and went to stand in front of the office’s broad expanse of windows. “We talked about this at the cabin. I’d like to have kids with you. Unless I’ve read you wrong, you’re not opposed to having children. I think you’ll make a great mother.”
The large, beautifully-decorated office seemed to spin for a moment. “Excuse me?”
He turned back to face her. “I said you’ll make a great mother.”
He was serious, Kelsey realized with a jolt. She sprang to her feet, a turmoil of emotion wallowing in her stomach. Rage came first, followed by a piercing longing, along with panic and confusion. Who better to have a child with than the man who’d been her loving companion in the last week? If only she could freeze that time and live there indefinitely.
Traitorous thoughts. It couldn’t be. F
antasies were lousy places in which to bring a child. She knew better than most how it hurt the youngest when marriages evaporated like the morning mist.
Her own father hadn’t cared enough about her to even see her and Amy after he divorced their mother.
“I can’t believe you," she gasped. “At the cabin, you said you wouldn’t mind if I got pregnant accidentally.”
Shaking his head, Jared said, “That’s not what I said or what I meant. I think I said I’d be happy if you got pregnant. Carla and Mike are having a great time getting ready for their baby. I think we could, too.”
“We made a deal,” she said through the roaring in her ears, the sick surge of her own longing. “Marriage to convince Doug. Sex. One year. How could you think—“
“We could amend the deal,” Jared said gently, his gaze on her face. “It’s not like either one of us is seriously interested in anyone else. We both want children.”
Kelsey’s queasiness turned sharply to nausea. “So we’ll procreate because we don’t have anything better to do? Bring a child into the world because we happen to have good sex?”
She took a step back, stumbling against a chair. This couldn’t be happening. Distressed and deeply disturbed, she wondered where the thoughtful, reasonable man she’d agreed to marry had gone? How could he be so callous about a child?
Was he trying to manipulate her into bearing children for him? Had he’d married her with this in mind?
She’d thought she could trust him and now just a week after the wedding, he was trying to take their understanding down a wholly unacceptable road.
“I have to go,” Kelsey gasped. Turning, she bolted from the room.
“Kelsey!” he called after her.
She didn’t falter, only hurrying away, feeling as if a knife had been shoved in her heart.
***
Kelsey stared numbly at the photo layout on her desk.
Maybe this was the real reason he’d married her. Some men wanted children without the emotional entanglements of marriage. Hadn’t she known he was cunning? She’d seen him negotiating. Perhaps she was just a means to an end for him.