twelve
Jasper yawned. Every bone in his body ached, and his eyes felt swollen from hours of staring in the hot sun. He started to move and discovered his arm was trapped. Startled, he looked down and saw Bessie sleeping with her head on his shoulder. He smiled.
He stared at his sleeping wife. She looked so lovely, so peaceful. And she was his. Why had he ever thought she didn’t compare to the picture of Lenore? Her sister’s image had dimmed in his mind, and he could barely remember what she looked like. Her hair was darker, wasn’t it? He picked up a lock of Bessie’s fine light brown hair and rubbed it between his fingers. It felt like strands of silk. He brought it to his nose and inhaled the fresh scent. Eve had shown her how to make shampoo from yucca, and they had added some flowers.
Her skin was white and fine-pored with a hint of pink to her cheeks. And she was so small. He felt a wave of protectiveness as he touched her face gently before slipping out of bed. He glanced at Bessie’s sleeping face once more while he pulled on his clothes, then reluctantly opened the door and stepped into the kitchen.
Eve was feeding Ruth, and he patted the infant on the head before moving to the stove. Pouring a cup of coffee, he took it back to the table and sat across from Eve.
“Bessie is exhausted. Please let her sleep.”
“Of course.” Eve pulled the bottle from Ruth’s slack mouth. The infant sighed but didn’t awaken. “She will not sleep long, though. She will wish to see Ruthie soon.”
Eve was right, and he nodded. Bessie was a good mother. And a good wife. She tried so hard, and he didn’t always appreciate her efforts. God had given them a miracle by preserving little Ruth through this ordeal.
The door opened, and Bessie came out from the bedroom rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her hair was tousled, and she still wore her nightgown. Her gaze skittered away from Jasper, and he realized she was embarrassed. She quickly went to Ruth and knelt beside the chair.
Touching the baby’s soft head, she laid her lips on her forehead. “Is she all right?”
“Just sleeping,” Eve reassured her. She handed the baby to Bessie and rose. “I would like to return home and thank my brother for finding Ruth. Is that all right?”
Bessie gripped her hand. “I would like to thank him myself,” she told her. “Please convey my heartfelt gratitude.”
“And mine,” Jasper added. He knew he would have come home bereaved and empty-handed if it hadn’t been for Ben. He would not have been able to bear the grief in Bessie’s eyes.
Eve smiled and squeezed her hand. “I will be back this afternoon.”
“Take the entire day,” Bessie urged her. “You haven’t slept in days, either. None of us will do much today. I’m not going to let Ruthie out of my sight.”
Eve nodded. “In the morning, then.” She smiled once more and hurried away.
Jasper stared at Bessie until she finally looked up and met his gaze. “Did you sleep well?” he asked.
Color tinged her fair skin, and she looked away. “Very well, thank you. You?”
“I didn’t move all night.” How did he go about bringing up the fact that he wanted their sleeping arrangements to continue? It was so awkward. Perhaps he would wait until tonight. He shook his head inwardly at his cowardice.
“What are your plans for the day?”
She smiled and looked down at the baby. “Nothing except spending time with Ruthie.”
“I think I’ll do the same. My eyes still burn from the sun, and last night the colonel told me to take the day off. Is there any heavy lifting or something special you’re needing done that I can help you with?”
“Well, I have been wanting to move the furniture out and clean under it and behind it. Your mess chest is heavy.”
“I can do that.” He was happy there was something she needed from him. He wished he knew how she really felt. But did it matter? They were married, and they would build a life together. It was as simple as that. He enjoyed the thought of spending the day with his small family.
She put Ruth on the cot, and Jasper made a mental note to get a crib made for her.
“Well, boss, what do we do first?” he asked when she came back.
“Let’s move your mess chest underneath the window. Then we can use it as a window seat.”
He nodded and went to shove it across the parlor floor. As he put his hand behind it, he felt a sticky substance and jerked his hand away. A shiny black spider raced toward his fingers. Bessie screamed, and he jumped farther away. The spider disappeared behind the chest.
“It was a black widow, wasn’t it?” Bessie said fearfully.
He nodded. “I knew as soon as I felt that sticky web. That’s why I pulled my hand away so fast.”
“We have to kill it,” she said. “What if it should bite Ruthie?”
“Get me a shoe,” he told her. “I’ll get a shovel to pull the chest out with.”
She bit her lip and hurried to the bedroom while he went out the back door and grabbed a shovel. He hated spiders. Back in Texas he had seen his share of tarantulas, and they never failed to spook him. Black widows were more dangerous and fast. This one would have nailed him if he had hesitated at all. But he was glad he had been there. If Bessie had tried to move the chest herself, she would have been bitten.
Bessie wasn’t in the parlor when he returned. “Hey, where are you?” he called.
Her muffled voice floated through the bedroom door. “I’m getting dressed. I want all the layers of clothing possible between me and that spider. And I’m trying to decide which shoe to use. I don’t want to use one of mine. I would probably never wear it again.”
He chuckled. “I’ll protect you,” he called.
She opened the door. Her hair was still disheveled, but she had her boots on and wore a determined expression. She carried one of his work boots in one hand and the broom in the other.
“You look like you’re loaded for bear,” he said with a grin. “Have you had experience in spider hunting before?”
“Many times. And I’ve killed more scorpions than I can count since we’ve been here.” Her shoulders stiff with purpose, she advanced into the room.
“You’ve never mentioned it,” he said in surprise. But why was he surprised? She had proven herself more than equal to any task so far.
“I knew I had to learn to handle these kinds of things if I expected to be a helpmeet,” she said with a shrug.
An altogether remarkable women. He smiled and moved to the mess chest again. “Maybe you’d better move Ruthie to the bedroom. If that thing decides to run, there’s no telling where it may end up.”
Bessie looked alarmed and snatched the baby up. Ruth stirred but didn’t awaken as Bessie took her to the bedroom.
Jasper waited until she returned. “Ready? I’m going to use the shovel to pull the chest out. When the spider comes out, smack it with the broom to stun it enough so I can kill it.”
Her face was white, but she nodded. “Ready.”
If he didn’t hate them so much, Jasper would have felt pity for the spider. Bessie held the broom between both hands like a bat, and he suspected she would deliver a mighty whop with it. He thrust the shovel behind the mess chest and pushed it out from the wall with one strong shove. He saw several black blobs race up the back of the chest. “Here they come,” he shouted.
“They?”
Her eyes widened in horror but she stood like a miniature Valkyrie, her feet planted with the broom ready to strike. He would have laughed if the situation hadn’t been so intense. Two spiders reached the top of the chest, and she brought the broom down with a thump that rattled the doors. She raised the broom wildly again, and he saw the blow had either killed or severely stunned the spiders. Two more reached the top, and again the broom came down with amazing force from such a small woman.
He peered behind the chest and saw there were no more spiders. They all lay motionless atop the mess chest. He took the shoe and pounded them to black pulps. He held out his han
d. “Give me the broom a minute.”
For a second, he thought she wouldn’t relinquish it. “They’re all dead,” he said. “I just want to clean out the web. I don’t want to get it all over my hand when I move the chest.”
She nodded and handed him the broom. “You’re sure they’re all dead?” she asked in a quavering voice.
He laughed. “After that attack, how could they survive? You’ve mastered the art of death by broom, but I flattened them to be sure.”
She gave a laugh, but it was a shaky, unconvincing one, and he realized just how terrified she had been. He put an arm around her and hugged her gently. “You’re really terrified of spiders, aren’t you?”
“All my life. I would never even kill them at home, just run screaming for my father. But I knew these had to be eliminated for Ruthie to be safe.” She smiled slightly. “Love conquers fear, I guess.”
Love conquers fear. The words struck a chord in his heart. Was it fear that had been holding him back from allowing himself to fall in love with his wife? What was the other verse? Perfect love casts out fear. He had to figure out how to allow God to create perfect love in his life.
§
Bessie had never had a man’s attention the way she had today. Jasper was so attentive and sweet all day. After they killed the spiders, he helped her rearrange the furniture, and then he went to the quartermaster for some wool blankets. She stitched them together and made a rug for the parlor to cover the bare floors. The room looked so warm and cozy, that she felt as though she had a real home now, a home of her own.
They baked oatmeal cookies together and played with Ruth in the afternoon. Ruthie enjoyed her first cookie immensely, and they had laughed at the expression on her face. Jasper asked Bessie to read from his book of Walt Whitman poetry, and they studied more about love from the Bible after Ruth went to bed for the evening. Jasper had built her a crib out of two crates that would suffice for a few months.
The candle burned down, and Bessie knew it was time for bed, but she was reluctant for the day to end. Tomorrow their life would resume as normal. Jasper would go back to work, and Eve would come again to help with the pile of laundry that waited. But today had been a day Bessie would not soon forget.
“I think I’ll haul in some water for morning before we turn in,” Jasper said.
How thoughtful of him. Bessie smiled, and he kissed her cheek.
“I’ll be right back.”
She watched him go out the back door with the pitcher. He left the back door open, and just before he came back in, she saw a black shape fly in. A bird or a moth? She couldn’t tell what it was, but it would have to be shooed back outside. Sighing in resignation, she got to her feet and went to fetch the broom. That ratty broom Jasper had made had come in handy today.
By the time she found the broom, the bird or whatever it was had managed to hide. Where had it gone?
“Another spider?”
She hadn’t heard Jasper come back in. “No, a bird got in. I was going to shoo it out, but I don’t know where it’s gone.”
Jasper helped her look for it, but neither one of them could see it.
“Let me get the lantern,” Jasper said. He went to the parlor and fetched the lantern. It’s bright light illuminated the dark corners.
“There it is!” Bessie pointed to the corner near the fireplace in the parlor.
“I see it.” Jasper approached the shadow on the ceiling. He touched the broom to it, and it took off flying, then dove directly at Bessie’s head.
She ducked. “It’s a bat!” She had seen them occasionally in the attic at home but had never had one fly directly at her. Once one had gotten trapped in Lenore’s hair. She had to be revived with smelling salts.
Bessie covered her hair with her hands and cowered on the floor. Jasper chased the bat around and around the room. He fell over furniture and banged his shin against the doorway, but the bat still eluded him.
“Open the front and back doors, and I’ll see if I can chase it out.”
She didn’t want to get up, so she crawled to the front door and swung it open. She ran outside, around to the back, and opened the back door. The door to the bedroom was shut, so Ruthie was safe. Bessie would stay outside until the thing was gone. She could hear Jasper whacking the broom as he tried to get the bat to fly out. Suddenly a black shape came zipping out the back door, and she screamed and cowered again.
“What is it, Missus?” The soldier on guard duty appeared at her side almost immediately.
“Just a bat,” she admitted.
He shuddered and hurried away. She guessed she wasn’t the only one who hated bats.
“It’s gone,” she called to Jasper. She closed the door behind her and went to the parlor to find him.
He appeared at the front door. His hair stuck up in spikes, his shirt had come untucked, and he looked wild-eyed. She chuckled. The chuckle turned into a giggle and then full-blown laughter. Jasper stared at her, then his own chuckle started. It fed Bessie’s mirth, and holding her stomach, she sat on the cot. She laughed so hard she cried.
“It’s not that funny,” Jasper protested between his own laughter. He dropped beside her and tickled her. “I’ll give you something to laugh about.”
He grabbed her ribs, and she shrieked. “No, I’m ticklish!”
“That’s the whole point.” He pulled her onto his lap and poked her a couple of more times until she begged for mercy.
“You don’t deserve mercy,” he pointed out. “You deserted me in my hour of need.”
“It was only a bat. I thought you could handle it on your own,” she laughed.
“I’ll let you off this time, but don’t let it happen again.” He stopped tickling her but kept his arms around her.
“I hope we don’t have a bat in here again. If we do, I can’t promise anything.” Her smile died at the expression in his eyes. She gravely searched his gaze and closed her eyes as his lips came down on hers.
“I don’t want to sleep in the parlor anymore,” he whispered. “What do you say to that? We’ll take it slow, Bessie. I won’t share your bed yet, just the room.”
What did she say to that? Her heart beat wildly in her throat. She was suddenly terrified.
He kissed her again, and her terror melted. This was right, and God had joined them. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her. She had enough love for both of them. She smiled shyly and nodded.
thirteen
Bessie hummed as she prepared a bottle for Ruth. Bessie felt love and contentment in their predictable routine. Jasper seemed happy, too. Several times she had been tempted to tell him she loved him, but somehow the words always stuck in her throat. She wanted to hear him say those words first. She wondered if she would wait the rest of her life.
She knew he cared for her. She saw it in the way he provided for them—giving of his money and possessions willingly, hauling wood so she wouldn’t have to carry it, taking Ruthie while Bessie washed the supper dishes. All the little things he did shouted his regard. But was it love? Would Jasper ever call it love? She didn’t know, but she longed to hear him say it.
Ruth tugged on her skirt, and Bessie looked down. At seven months old, Ruth was trying to learn to crawl. She would get on her hands and knees and rock back and forth until she lunged forward. Bessie noticed Ruth had something in her mouth.
“Spit it out,” Bessie commanded. She felt around and pulled out a sliver of wood. “Silly baby.” She picked her up and kissed her soft neck, delighting in the soft warmth of the baby. It was hard to imagine how life could be better.
She heard the front door shut. That was odd. Eve usually came through the back door. “I’m in the kitchen,” she called.
“It’s me,” Jasper said.
Her welcoming smile died when she saw the white strain on his face. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
He reached her in two strides and took her in his arms. “Sit down. I need to talk to you.”
Numbly, she let hi
m lead her to the table. Once she was seated, he knelt beside her and took her hand. “I have news—” he broke off, and his throat worked convulsively. “I don’t know how to say this.”
Terror seized her. Whatever it was, it was very bad. “Just tell me,” she whispered.
He drew a deep breath. “The colonel called me into his office. It seems Ruthie’s relatives have found out where she is, and they are laying claim to her.”
In her worst nightmares she had imagined this. But how could anyone know where Ruthie was? And how could anyone ask her to give up her baby? “I’m the only mother she’s ever known,” she whispered. “I can’t give her up.”
Jasper struggled to control himself. He loved Ruth, too. “There will be a hearing next week when all the evidence will be brought. But we must be prepared, Bessie. We may lose her.”
“No!” Denial burst from her lips. “We’ll take her east. Today, right now.” She rose and paced wildly. “No one can find us there. They wouldn’t even look. No one would care.”
“What kind of life do you think our Ruthie would have back east with the prejudice she would have to endure?” Jasper said gently. “Can we do that to her to save ourselves now? Even living here with us will be difficult. When she is grown, she’ll have trouble fitting in. We both know this.”
“We would protect her from it,” Bessie said piteously. “No one would dare say a word to the granddaughter of Thomas Randall.”
“Would your father claim her as his granddaughter?”
Bessie fell silent. No, he would not, nor her mother. They were as snobbish as any others in Boston. But how could anyone not love Ruthie?
Jasper took Bessie in his arms and stroked her hair. “We must be strong and pray for God’s will to be done.”
Did she want God’s will? What if His will was that she give up her daughter? Could she do that? No, that couldn’t be His will. He had to work it out. He just had to.
To Love a Stranger (Wyoming Series Book 4) Page 11