Yen and Yuen escorted them to a large, plush booth toward the back of the restaurant.
“Well, then how about a fuck!” some wag called.
Yuen made a gesture to the bot and the scruffy looking scientist that had called out was grabbed by the neck and the seat of his pants by who they found out later named Mongol-- a combat robot. Its body was pitted and dented like it had been in several battles and the miscreant was launched a considerable distance though the batwing doors without the convenience of opening it first.
“Anyone else want to cause trouble, or insult my guests?” Yen scowled at the crowd.
Mongo stood in the middle of the restaurant clacking his manipulators together menacingly.
With much grumbling, the scientists went back to eating, drinking, gambling, and telling lies about their discoveries.
“It’s amazing how quickly even educated scientists revert to savagery once you remove civilized constraints!” Yen said out the side of her mouth, gesturing them to a comfortable booth.
“How’s that?” John asked.
“I’m afraid its bit like the wild west out here. Everyone's crawling over each other to either discover usable technology or become famous by proving one’s theory about the origins of the artifact. Dead bodies are found constantly, and some, uh...rather a lot actually died under...err, questionable circumstances. The possibility of becoming rich or famous puts a lot of pressure on these beings. They go a bit nuts and feel threatened by any strangers coming in as you just saw. There's already far too many people on this rock in their opinion and ours, truth be told, “said Yen, but our young government needs the money and has put no limits on who gets permits. Its insane out there.”
“It kind of adds new meaning to ‘publish or perish in academia,’” Monica said sarcastically.
“The fact that there is no law enforcement of any kind, doesn't help. I mean I'm technically the sheriff, mayor and head guy, but I'm not a ninja or gun fighter, and I’m only one being. I mean I lock up the worst of the drunks, and women beaters for a night, and expel the worst of them but that's about it. I can’t police the hundreds of scientists out there. I've complained to our government, and the Interplanetary Commission to no avail; nobody cares. Nobody wants to pay for policing a bunch of scholars. There is no tax base for it, they are all government subsidized. No one seems to believe that educated men and women could get so unruly. It's a mess, frankly,” Yuen said with a sigh.
“Let me order for you. I'm afraid our menu is rather limited anyway. We rely on our small vegetable garden, canned and dried goods from Ferntucky, and what our hunters or archaeologists bring in,” Yen added, smiling at Peter warmly, as she quietly relayed their lunch order with her com. Peter couldn't help but notice she was very attractive.
“Oh, really? What kind of flora and fauna has this rock got?” Oscar inquired. “It looks kind of desolate to me.”
“Oh, I can't possibly list them all, but the uh-- so called, native life is quite diverse. We have most of the same animals here as down below, except for a few native mutations as you would expect in a million years. The plumbing system here even waters on a regular basis, so animals and plants are able to flourish even in in a semi--desert environment. The largest land mammal we have is like a large armadillo. Which is what's for lunch, by the way, a Ginka. Delicious! It’s only predator is the shark-toothed Wazzool... and the newly introduced Molats,” Yen continued.
“Molats! Aren’t they a foreign species? What’s a Wazzool” asked John.
“Yes, Molats are not native here, the little fur-covered, piranha bastards! I'd like to string up whoever released a breeding pair into the wild, after doing nasty things to them for days. In addition to my other duties, I'm trying to eradicate them, I’m pest control too!” Yuen said with a laugh. “Wazzools are like a heart attack with legs. They are shaped like and look somewhat like an earth shark with legs, a tapered tail and equipped with the same nasty shark-like teeth, to boot. With long legs like a cheetah of Earth, they are really fast at running short distances, and travel in packs of two to three. They have no natural predators. Honestly, I'm more afraid of Molats. They are small, but travel in packs of thousands or more. I've seen them take a Wazzool down in minutes, and strip the skeleton bare in thirty, but I doubt you are going camping or sightseeing, so I wouldn't lose any sleep over them.”
“No. No camping or playing the tourist. We just want to sell these robots, get some parts for our shuttle craft, and then move on.” Peter said smiling.
Their food was delivered to their table, and soon Yen and Peter were deep in negotiation about his cargo, while they all dined on Ginka with some tasty root vegetables. The rest talked of inconsequential things, and it seemed that Yen and John only had eyes for each. Bob-Six, as usual, said nothing, but listened attentively.
Yen kept them entertained with stories of the artifact, and its most colorful characters. The most notorious of them being ‘Bloody Doc', Jane Morrissey, suspected in over a dozen murders, thefts and tortures. She was said to be bat-shit crazy and meaner than a Wazzool, but super intelligent with a half a dozen doctorates. She had lost her funding ages ago, and was wanted for questioning, according to Yen. She was said to survive on the looted supplies of plundered scientists and stolen research, and so far, had eluded capture. She also had unknown associates that came in and bought supplies. She was thought to be a reputed sex maniac, with a taste for perversion and torture. The remains of corpses she reputedly left in the desert, showed signs of rape and mutilation.
Later Yen showed them all to their rooms, conveniently saving John’s room for last. Although the station had no night or day, it was considered ‘Daytime,’ but to Peter and crew it was nighttime, and they were tired. Oscar and Monica had been talking small talk out on their porches and exchanged knowing smiles when Yen showed no sign of reappearing from Johns room.
“Well, she’s in for a treat, Johns a great lover, and he’s packing some serious—you know,” Monica said giggling.
“Oooh, I thought you had slept with him you puta. I would so tap that ass. Yummy.” Oscar giggled too.
“I heard that Meyer-- you want to tap something, get your luscious buns in here, Marcus shouted from the bedroom.
“Duty calls!” Oscar winked at Monica and flounced into her room.
Chapter 17: A Rude Awakening
Peter awoke with a pounding headache and a dry mouth, feeling drugged, wrists zip tied together, not knowing where he was. This was strange because he had not drunk anything while hammering out the details with Yuen and didn’t remember ordering the zip-ties. With difficulty, he managed to pry his eyes open to find himself mostly staring at dirt, a sliver of sky, and some blurry figures. He tested his restraints and found them very secure. He must have let out some grunts because the toe of a boot prodded him, and he heard a female-sounding voice.
“Oh, good. You're awake! Juan bring him and the others some water,” the voice said, speaking to someone he couldn't see, “Untie their hands and get them upright. We need to have a little talk.”
With the help of his unknown captors, Peter was soon sitting upright, sipping some water from a canteen, and looking around at his surroundings. They were in a gully with two large, exploratory AWD vehicles. Monica, Oscar, and Marcus sat a short distance away looking bewildered and groggy, while two burly figures and a smaller one, pointed weapon at them. It was hard to tell what sex they were or if they were human. They were wrapped head to toe in camouflage, filtered masks, snug hoods, gloves and goggles.
“Excuse me, but what THE FUCK? Peter croaked, sweeping his chin around to encompass the group. The smaller figure of their captors set its gun down, removed the face mask, and flipped back the hood to reveal what appeared to be a human female.
“Sorry for the rude awakening, folks,” she laughed. “Actually-- I'm not, but old pleasantries die hard. You have something I need, Captain Farlon, and the others are just a bonus.” A lascivious glint welled in her eye as
she looked at the others.
“I'm sorry, but I don't remember being introduced. What could we possibly have that you want? Who are you?” Peter asked bewildered.
“Oh, I'm Doctor Jane Morrissey, meetcha...” their female captor said miming a fake handshake. “I’m afraid I am in need of your ship’s computer.”
Peter snarled, even as he was going cold with fear. “You couldn't ask nicely?” The craziest person on the moon was their captor
“Sure, like a complete stranger is going to walk up to you and ask, ‘Mister, can I borrow your AI for a while?' Besides, I need you and a link to your computer on site. There simply are no computers big enough on this planet. Yuen, his luscious sister, and other scientists have good computers, but no AI. For some reason Dong Xi prohibits them. Must be a communist thing.”
“I've been trying for years to decipher the language and figure out what the machinery does with my bare brain, and a portable computer. I finally gave up. It’s too complex. I've been waiting for an AI of sufficient size and power for years to visit this rock, and here you are. I have spies everywhere, and some of the station dock workers are on my payroll. Since they are working on offloading your cargo and examining the damage to your shuttle craft, they talked to your AI called Shirley, and saw that she was exactly what I was looking for.” Jane explained with a demented grin.
“So, what do you need the others for? Most people just use their computers to look at porn, what’s your excuse? Just so you know, Shirley’s got some great porn on file from all the main races, although the Excedirin porn is tough to watch with the females biting the male’s heads off during copulation, but hey, whatever floats your boat, I say," Peter grumbled stalling for time. He needed to think.
“Insurance, funny man, to ensure your co-operation and all-- and well, I do like me a good party occasionally. I like to act out my porn, though...” she smiled evilly. “They just happened to be there when I put the sleepy gas under your door, and I couldn’t resist,” she said licking her lips provocatively at the others. “Yum! Yum! That redhead looks positively delicious, and the young man not too shabby. The Mexican bitch is a little on the burly side for my tastes, but you can’t have everything.”
“But…” Peter started to say, but Jane cut him off with an impatient wave of her hand.
“Who you call a Mexican she-bitch! I'm Hispanic-- my ancestors were from Puerto Rico-- bitch—I…”
“Who cares?” Jane said dismissively. “Enough chit chat,” she said waving another dismissive hand, “We have a long drive ahead of us. Oh! Anyone need to take care of business? Don't be shy. No sense smelling up the AWD. The filtration systems on these things leave a lot to be desired. We will cut your bonds for that, but I'm afraid you will have to be watched. After we get started- I'm driving like a bat-out-of-hell with no stopping. I'm sure we will be followed by your friends.”
There was a show of hands and after that was taken care of, they were all hustled into the vehicles and re-secured with zip ties, hand and foot.
Oscar looked at Peter from the fold-down bed where she and Markus were chained looked around and said, “Well, gee, this pretty much sucks.”
“I'm scared, Peter! I wasn't listening to Yen too closely last night, but the bits I heard about this bitch were horrible. You can just tell by looking in her eyes, she’s crazy. What are we going to do?” Monica whispered.
“Anyone got anything sharp that can be used as a weapon?” Peter whispered.
“Not so much as a nail clipper,” Marcus said mournfully.
“So, why do you need the use of my AI, Mrs. Morrissey?” Peter said loudly toward the front to be heard over the hum of the engine and wheels.
“Don’t you pay attention, dumbass? I need it to translate the confounded language in the writing of the beings who built this...thing. I believe this is a spaceship. If I could only learn to control it, well, how sweet would it be to have a small planet-sized spacecraft to call my own? Plus, by unlocking and selling all the engineering secrets to this place, I’ll be rich as shit and famous...or infamous!” She turned to face them with maniacal glee.
“Who’s going to buy anything from you, you murderous kidnapping bitch?” Monica spit at her vehemently.
“I resemble that!” Jane said cheerfully. “For one—everyone, miss- luscious -buns. Oh! I am so going to enjoy having you lap my muff, by the way, while giving you a titty twister, and shoving painful things up your bum, besides alien races won't care what I've done, if they can get tech like elevators and water systems, that power themselves for a million years. And if I can learn to move this rock, what planet wouldn't pay a hefty sum or care to have a world-sized ship that flies, if I decide not to keep it-- I’ll copy its tech, to boot. And that's Alleged murderess to you, by the way; they have no proof. The natural predators here are wonderful about cleaning up a crime scene,” She barked a short laugh.
“I would like to say something hokey, like you're insane, but you and about a hundred other scientists are Flox-shit crazy to become famous, or rich and have basically the same ambition, it seems. Can't say I like your methods or hospitality, and that's just rude-- sticking things up people’s bums and twisting their tender parts without permission. Our friends will be coming for us, you know. If I had any foresight, my botyguard would be tearing you a new one about now, and he’s sure to be included in our rescue party. We are very well armed. I advise you to use caution in how you treat us,” Peter warned.
Jane waved her hand in circles negligently. “Yeah, yeah, so frickin what? We are armed also, and I have plenty of friends as well. I’ve offered them a percentage of the fortune. I have a small army guarding the control site and my base, where I'm taking you. I'm sure we are more than a match for whatever band of idiots they rounded up. I'm not worried at all. Bring them on! Of course, I'll have to kill them all,” she added smugly. She turned around again to give them her demented grin. “Now shut it, and let me drive, or I'll have to knock you all out again.”
Endless hours passed with nothing to do but look out the small windows at the monotonous landscape or to take occasional short naps. Talking seemed pointless. Think as they might, their situation seemed hopeless. They were at the complete mercy of the insane Bloody Doc Jane unless their friends could rescue them. The tedium was only broken by a short bathroom break and the distribution of ration bars. Jane didn't even take a bathroom break until they had reached one of the other immense elevators to take them to the upper levels. Like the one behind Yuen’s Last chance cafe it rose to awe inspiring height out of the scrub dessert. They had seen endless herds of Ginkas, and a few predatory Wazzools in the distance to break up the monotony of the dessert, and spotty areas of greenery. There was nothing like trees in the desolate landscape, only medium to small bushes, hugging the ground, with patches of tall grasses. As soon as they reached the elevator platform Jane rushed out of the vehicle and they were untied to stretch their legs. As soon as they exited the rover Peter saw Jane pulling her pants up, a large puddle behind her, on the elevator floor. That explained Jane's hurried exit.
The elevators slowly rose to the machinery and control room levels above the barren landscape. After only a few minutes the floor of the chamber spread out in an amazing vista. They knew the place was enormous, but once they got up a little way in the air, the far walls of the chamber couldn’t be seen, but faded into haze, and you could see the curvature of the dessert floor far beneath them. What Peter assumed was the elevator behind Yuen’s was only a silver hazy thread in the distance. The place was mindbogglingly large. It was hard to get his head around it. Peter couldn't help but ask some other questions of Jane, as her flunkies ignored him when asked any questions.
“So how come you didn’t just use the elevators behind Yuen’s last Chance cafe Jane?” Peter asked, curious at why they had come such an enormous distance to get to the upper level
“They are guarded by people loyal to Yen and Yuen. He has survelance cameras everywhere, and there was no
way to sneak up on them without alerting them and a massive firefight. This lift is closer to what I think is the control room anyway.” Jane said smiling…She was beautiful when she smiled. Peter could almost forget she was psychopathic killer for few seconds.
“Any reason you don't use fliers for travel instead of taking slow, ground vehicles? Wouldn't that be faster?” Peter asked Jane at one point.
“Out in the large chambers they have very weird air currents, sand storms, vortexes-- in effect invisible tornadoes; it’s too dangerous to fly. Some do, but it’s risky. Most just hug the surface while flying because of that… In the elevator shafts, anything that tries to fly up the shafts gets knocked out of the air. We don't know why, and no one’s found the mechanisms or weapons that do it. Early explorers learned that the hard way. One of the other mysteries about this place. Maybe the beings who built the place had a fear of flying or liked to travel slow. I don’t know-- maybe they just didn't want flying creatures mucking up their elevator shafts. They were massive beings, the creators of this place, I mean, standing over fifteen-feet tall in earth measurements.
“By the way here's your Datacom back. Glad you are old fashioned, and it was never implanted. Having to take your arm off might have inconvenienced you a bit,” Again she gave her short, barking laugh. “Might as well get your AI working on this data,” she added and handed him a data pad. “I don't care about you contacting your friends, there is nothing they can do, we are hours ahead of them. Yuen and Yen can probably figure out where we went; our tire-tracks alone are like a freaking lighted beacon. A comfy bed, a nice dinner and we will have all the pleasure and perversion as you could ever imagine.”
“I’d rather die! You can't make me have sex with you, you pervert!” Peter spat out.
“Yeah? Well, believe me, after I shoot you up with boner juice, and rub on some pheromones, you won't have a choice. You'll be in the mood to have your way with a knothole in a wood wall. Besides I know from personal experience, put a gun to a man’s head, erections are quite possible even without the drugs. A woman with a gun pressed against her forehead is definitely going to get busy and do what pleases me. Get to work will ya? If you want some privacy, feel free to step outside the van.” Jane turned on her heal and strode off on some task of her own.
Star Hookers Space Pirates Page 21