I need to talk to him. It's late but I can't wait until morning. I grab my keys and race out of my room and down the hall. I shove the door open and feel it slam into someone. It's dark, but I see the person rubbing his shoulder.
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry."
The person turns around. It's Reed, standing there in jeans and a gray hoodie, looking really hot, a thick layer of stubble along his face.
"What is it with you and doors?" he asks, smiling at me.
I cover my mouth, laughing a little. "I'm really sorry. Are you hurt?"
"Don't worry about it." He steps closer to me. "I was just coming to see you. I was on my way to my room but I turned back around."
"I got the drawing. And I read your note."
"Yeah. About that." He pauses, his eyes on mine. "What I said about you not wanting to be with me? I understand if you don't, but I'm not giving up that easily. I don't want you to break up with me. I know my life's a mess and my family's a mess but I'm working on that. I'm trying to make it better. And I'm so sorry I didn't trust you. You told me the truth and I didn't believe you and that was wrong and I'm sorry. I'll do anything to get you to forgive me. I don't want to lose you. I love you, Lilly. These past few days without you I've realized even more how much I love you. So although that note made it sound like I'm okay with us breaking up, I'm not. I'm not at all okay with it. I don't want this to end."
"Reed, I don't want to break up with you. I was coming to find you because that note almost made it sound like you were giving up on us."
He takes my hands in his. "Lilly, no. That's not what I meant. I'm just a bad writer. I communicate better with pictures, not words. I should've just drawn you a picture."
"And what would you have put on this picture?"
"You and me. Together." He smiles. "Maybe with some hearts around our heads. And since you made me happy by agreeing to keep going out with me, I might even add some unicorns and rainbows."
I laugh. "You totally need to draw that picture. Or paint it. That would be even better."
"Okay, I'll do it." He gets serious again. "I love you."
"I love you too."
I don't even realize what I said until I notice Reed staring at me.
"You do?"
I smile. "Yeah. I do. I love you."
I've never said that to anyone but my family so it sounds strange saying it to Reed. But it's true. I love him. I feel it in my heart; when it ached while he was gone and I didn't know if he'd be back, when it warmed as I read his note, and when it leapt in my chest when I saw him after being apart for days.
He kisses me and I kiss him back and we keep kissing until Reed slowly pulls away.
"I want to keep doing this," he says, "but I think we should talk. I have a lot to tell you."
"I do too." I turn to go in my dorm.
"Could we maybe go somewhere else? I don't want to talk in your room."
"Why?" I ask, then I answer my own question. "My dad got rid of the microphones."
"I'd still feel better not talking in there. It's too soon."
"Then let's go to your room."
"Could we just stay out here? It's a warm night. The moon is bright. We could sit under your tree."
I agree to it and we walk down to the tree and sit beneath it. The campus lights, along with the moon, give us plenty of light. Reed takes his sweatshirt off and slips it over my shoulders.
"So I talked to my dad," he says. "It's the first real talk we've ever had. I never tell him anything because I assume he doesn't care, but it turns out he does. He wants me to be part of his life. He said he's going to cut back on his travel to be here more. Well, not here, but in LA. He wants me to stay with him when I go home on breaks. He gave me a set of keys and told me to stay there even when he's on the road. He's making a bedroom for me and everything."
"Reed, that's great."
"He's also going to help me get a newer car that won't break down. I'm going there this weekend to find one. He'll cover the down payment, then I'll pay off the rest using the money from my album covers. My dad already has two bands that want to hire me and he said if I put together a portfolio, he'd show it to everyone he knows in the industry."
"That's awesome. Why hasn't he helped you like this before?"
"He didn't think I wanted him in my life. He kept telling me how much he regretted not seeing me grow up, which surprised me." Reed shrugs. "But he's getting older now and I'm his only kid so maybe he just wants to save our relationship before it's too late."
"How's your uncle? Is he in trouble?"
"He's still on probation and the police are investigating his past. For years, they suspected he was letting my mom get away with stuff. Everyone he works with knows she's a drunk. So this whole thing with the accident made his boss even more suspicious of him. He knows he'll eventually be fired so he's just going to quit."
"Reed, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. Your mom did this, not you. I don't blame you for any of this."
"What's your uncle going to do?"
"He has a friend who owns a security company. He's already offered him a job working private security. Lori's actually happy about it. She didn't like him being a cop, working late at night in bad neighborhoods. This way, he'll have more normal hours and the job will be a lot less dangerous."
"So what happened with your mom?"
He sighs. "I went to her apartment and told her I can't see her again until she stops drinking and is able to support herself." He drops his head, shaking it side to side. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I almost couldn't say the words. But I knew I needed to. She was taking over my life. Dragging me down with her. I couldn't let her do that. I want a life. A future. And I want you. I knew I couldn't have you if my mom kept dragging me into her problems."
"How did she react when you told her?"
"She was quiet, and when I asked her to say something, she didn't. So I told her I love her, then got up and left. I went and stayed with my dad. The next day, I went back to her apartment to get some of my stuff and she was gone."
"Gone where? What do you mean?"
"She left. Took off. Cleared out the entire place. The only things left were my clothes, which she dumped on the floor. She took the dresser. My bed. Everything."
"And you don't know where she went?"
"My uncle said she'd been talking about moving to Texas with this guy she's been dating. I'm guessing they loaded everything in a truck, sold it for whatever they could get for it, then took off."
I reach over and hold his hand. "I'm sorry."
"At least I won't have to pay for the apartment anymore." He half smiles, but I can tell how much he's hurting. I can feel it.
"Reed, I—"
"Let's not talk about it." He looks up at me. "So what happened with your mom?"
I tell him about the phone call I had with her and how I told her I'm done talking to her. Then I tell him about how she set me up with Preston for her own personal gain and how Preston ended up getting arrested.
"So Preston's in jail?" Reed smiles.
"Probably not. I'm sure his dad's lawyers got him out and I'm sure they'll get the charges dropped. But I bet he gets kicked out of school. They take that stuff really seriously."
"Has your mom tried to call you and work things out?"
"No. If she ever calls me, it'll be to tell me I did something wrong or to brag about herself. She'll act like nothing happened between us. That's how she is. She lives in a fake world where you put on designer clothes and a fake smile and pretend nothing's wrong. I don't want any part of that world. I was exposed to it when I was little and I didn't like it. I'm not going back to it again. She'll never accept that, just like she'll never accept me. And I'm starting to be okay with that. This last stunt she pulled just proved to me that she doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's willing to hurt anyone who stands in the way of her getting what she wants. She'll even hurt her own daughter."
R
eed lightly rubs my hand. "I'm sorry, Lilly."
"It's fine. I don't need her in my life. I have Jade and Garret. My nieces and nephews. Rachel and my dad. My dad has been so supportive during all of this."
"I really like your dad." He grins. "He still scares the shit out of me, but aside from that, I like him. We had a good talk."
"I think he likes you too. Now you just need to win over my brother."
"I thought he liked me after the surfing."
"Yeah, but then he found out you were in my room, on my bed. I told him we just talked but he didn't believe me. Just go surfing with him again. That'll get him to like you. And talk about sports. He loves sports."
"So do I. Mostly football and baseball."
"Really? I didn't know you liked sports."
"I guess we still have some things to learn about each other." He leans over and kisses me. "You want to go inside?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk in my room."
He smiles. "Who said anything about talking?"
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
The Following May
Lilly
"Mom, do we have any more boxes?" I ask Rachel as she tapes up the box I gave her. I call her Mom now because that's what she is to me. She's more of a mom than my real mom has ever been and ever will be.
"Your father just went to get some."
He walks in my room just as she says it. "This is the last one. If you need any more I'll have to go to the store."
"One should be enough," I say, cleaning out the last few items in my desk drawer.
He stands there, assessing the rows of boxes stacked up by the door. "How were you able to fit all this in your room?"
Rachel stands beside him. "She doesn't have that much. It just looks like a lot when you pack it in boxes."
"I have a lot of art supplies," I say. "All my paint and brushes and canvases."
"It may not all fit in the house," my dad says. "You may have to keep it outside."
"Outside?" I look at him funny.
Rachel laughs, then smiles at my dad. "Should we tell her?"
He puts his arm around her. "Go ahead."
They both look at me and Rachel says, "Your dad and I have a little surprise for you. We built you an art studio in the back yard. It's small, but it's all yours and you can open the windows and let the light in."
I drop the pencils I was holding and burst up from my chair. "Oh my God, are you serious?" They smile and I run up and hug them both. "I can't believe you did this for me!"
"We wanted you to have a place to work," my dad says. "You're on your way to being a famous artist someday. You can't paint in your room. You need your own studio."
I'm so happy my eyes are tearing up. Now that I don't care what my mom thinks, I cry whenever I feel like it. And this time, they're happy tears. I have a studio! My own art studio! Right in the back yard.
My dad and Rachel are such great parents. All these years, they could've tried to talk me out of being an artist, saying it's too hard or that it's a hobby and not a career, but they've never once said that. They've always been supportive of me and what I want to do. They've always believed in me.
"Thank you guys so much. I can't wait to see it." I wipe my eyes, then laugh. "I'm becoming just like Mom, crying all the time."
She looks at my dad. "Do I cry a lot?"
He kisses her. "You cry all the time, but it's mostly happy tears."
She smiles at me. "Let's finish packing. Your brother will be here soon."
Garret is bringing his giant SUV and we're going to load it up with all my stuff. Jade and the kids are coming in a separate car. After everything's packed, we're going to have lunch, then drive home to Santa Barbara and have a cookout later tonight. It's the welcome home party my family insisted on having. I told them I didn't need one but they wouldn't take no for an answer. And now I'm really excited about it. Harper and Sean are coming over with their kids. Sean's making the food, along with Charles, who's bringing his new girlfriend. It'll be good to be home and see everyone again.
"Hey, Lilly." Taylor appears at my door. "Hi, Mr. Kensington. Mrs. Kensington."
They say hello to her.
"Are you leaving?" I ask her.
"Yeah. My mom and dad are waiting in the car."
I walk past my parents. "I'll be right back."
Taylor and I go down the hall and outside.
"Have a good summer." She gives me a hug.
"You too."
"Mine's going to be a complete disaster."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Remember Luke?"
"Yeah. My brother's putting him in one of the WaveField commercials."
"Really? I don't think you told me that."
"It just happened. Luke just signed the contract. So what about him?"
"My parents just told me he's going to be living with us this summer."
"Why?"
"Because he didn't have anywhere to go. His parents kicked him out of the house when he turned 18. They're not very good parents. I don't know the whole story but I think it's pretty bad. The past couple years, Luke's been living with this old guy who used to be his neighbor when he was a kid. He's the one who taught Luke how to golf. But the guy just died and his daughter sold the house so Luke had nowhere to go. That's why my parents took him in. He's staying in our guest house. It's really tiny. Just one room. There's no kitchen so he'll be eating with us."
"So what's the problem?"
"I can't live next to Luke! And see him every day!"
"Why not?"
"Because...it's complicated."
"What do you mean? I know you like him, but once you see him every day, you won't be so nervous around him. You'll probably start to see him like a brother."
"I don't think so." The way she says it implies she's hiding something.
"Is there something going on with you and Luke? Did you guys—"
"We kissed." She looks around, making sure no one's listening. "When I was home on spring break, Luke came over a few times to see my brother. One day the three of us played golf and Luke's ball went in the trees and so did mine. We went to find them while my brother moved on to the next hole. While we were in the trees, Luke kissed me. And it was..." She smiles. "It was a good kiss."
"Then what happened? After he kissed you?"
"We both realized it was a mistake. I can't date Luke. He's my brother's friend. And he competes with him on the course. My brother would kill me if I dated Luke. It would ruin their friendship."
"Have you and Luke talked since this happened?"
"He called a few times when I got back to school but I told him he needed to stop. I didn't want to get involved with him, knowing it would never work."
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Because I was trying to keep it a secret."
"I wouldn't have told anyone."
"It doesn't matter because I can't date him. But I really want to kiss him again. And now he's going to be living with us! You know how tempting that'll be? To have him right there? Every day? What am I going to do?"
I laugh. "It sounds like you're going to have a good summer."
"Lilly! You're not helping." She says it like she's mad but she's laughing. Her phone dings and she checks it. "It's my parents telling me to hurry up." She hugs me again. "I'll see you in September."
"Yeah, but you better call me before then. I need to know how this soap opera plays out."
She laughs. "That's exactly what it's going to be. Either that or a bad reality TV show." She walks away. "Have a good summer!"
I go back inside and notice Willow's door is open. I stop over there and see her standing next to a stack of boxes that are neatly-arranged by her door. Everything is packed. Her room and closet are empty.
"Looks like you're ready to go," I say.
"Yeah. My parents will be here any minute." Willow doesn't have a car. Her parents say cars take up too many natural resources and pollute the air, so they
only have one car for the whole family and a truck that they only use on the farm.
"I'm going to miss you." I give her a hug.
"I'll miss you too. It's going to be weird not seeing you everyday. You better call me. I have to get my daily updates on you and Reed."
"I don't know if they'll be daily, but yeah, I'll keep you updated."
She fans herself. "It's really hot in here today. They must've shut off the air." She pulls her hair up off her neck. It's much longer now than when we met, hanging a few inches past her shoulders. She grew it out because she says it's her last chance to have long hair. She said when she gets into the business world she'll have to have short, serious hair.
"Yeah, it seems hot for May." I tighten my ponytail, lifting it higher off my neck.
"I wonder what's taking my dad so long." She checks her phone. "He should've been here by now."
"I like your dress." I point to it. "Is it new?"
She's wearing a red cotton sundress that has thin straps, a fitted waist, and a short skirt.
"A friend of my mom's bought it for her daughter but it didn't fit so she gave it to me. I forgot I had it. It was stuffed in my bottom drawer. I found it when I was packing and decided to wear it because it's lightweight and open in the back." She turns and shows me the cutouts in the back. She checks her phone again. "What is taking him so long? He said ten."
It's only five minutes after ten but Willow doesn't like it when people are late. Her parents are the opposite. They don't live by the clock. She said they're always late to things, so she shouldn't be surprised her dad isn't here yet.
"I hope I didn't forget anything." She goes over to her dresser, opening each drawer.
"Willow." I hear a deep voice and turn to see a tall, muscular guy standing behind me. He has a dark tan, dark hair that hangs just below his jaw, and deep blue eyes. He's wearing worn jeans and a white t-shirt.
It's Silas. I recognize him from his photo, but he looks way better in person. Either that or he's changed since that photo was taken.
"Silas?" Willow is standing with her hand on top of the dresser like she needs it to hold herself up after the shock of seeing Silas at her door. "What are you doing here?"
Lilly: A Kensington Family Novel Page 29