by Mary Monroe
I blinked hard, and I wanted to fan my face, because it felt like it was on fire. Instead, I lowered my eyes and grinned, hugging Wade back. I think that for a moment he forgot where he was, too. His embrace was so strong and extended, I had to pull away. But only after Jeanette cleared her throat and kicked my foot under the table.
“Uh, this is my friend Jeanette,” I said, introducing them. From the look on Jeanette’s face, she was enjoying every minute of this scenario. Her back was to the fireplace. The flames from the fire illuminated her face, making her look ghoulish. And, the amused and curious look on her face only enhanced her ghoulishness.
“I’m Wade,” he said, shaking Jeanette’s hand. “Me and Christine go way back,” he said and grinned, giving me a wink. “We used to be real close.”
“I figured that,” Jeanette remarked just loud enough for me to hear. I kicked her foot and shot her a threatening look because she had a stupid look on her face.
“How long are you in town?” I asked Wade. Before he could answer, I turned to Jeanette. “Wade’s in show business and lives in L.A.,” I told her. She had raised her eyebrows so high that it looked like they’d relocated to the top of her forehead.
“Uh, I’m not sure,” Wade said, glancing around and scratching the side of his neck. “Hey! This is Dave Sauer. He’s an old friend, too.” Wade slapped his friend on the back. It was obvious that Wade didn’t want to talk about his career. I suspected that things were not going the way he wanted them to. For one thing, I still had not seen him in anything on television or in the movies. Not even a commercial. At least nothing legitimate. However, I had come across two more pornographic videos that he had starred in, both just last year! I couldn’t remember the titles, and I had not even viewed them.
“How are you ladies doing?” Wade’s friend asked, shaking my hand, then Jeanette’s. “One thing I can say about Wade is, him and beautiful women go together. And, both of you ladies are at the top of the line.”
I glanced at Jeanette. She was blushing just as hard as I was.
“How’s married life treating you?” Wade asked.
“It’s … it’s nice,” I said quietly and slowly. I looked in Wade’s eyes and blinked. “Marriage is a blessing.”
“I feel you on that one. I couldn’t agree with you more.”
“Oh. You’re married now?” I asked, my heart slowly breaking into a million little pieces. I sniffed and straightened up in my seat.
“I was, but it didn’t work out.” My question seemed to make Wade uncomfortable. “Well, it was nice seeing you again. You sisters enjoy your lunch.” Wade gave me a light slap on my back, smiled, nodded at Jeanette, and turned to leave.
Jeanette opened her big mouth, but before she could speak, Wade returned to our table.
“Christine, if you’d like to have a drink or something, here’s my cell number,” Wade said, handing me a napkin with his number written on it in red ink. Then he was gone. I turned to Jeanette. That stupid look was still on her face, and now her arms were folded, too.
“What?” I snapped, stuffing the napkin into my purse. “I know what you’re thinking, and you are dead wrong. Yes, Wade and I had a real hot thing going at one time. But, I’m a married woman now.”
“I’ve only got one thing to say, Miss Thing,” Jeanette said as she sucked in her breath and placed her arms on the table, giving me a look that was so serious, it scared me. “With the way things are going for you these days, you’d better hold on tight to that number. If you don’t use it, pass it on to me.”
CHAPTER 46
Miss Rosetta rapidly went even further downhill. She didn’t eat much and spent most of her time sleeping. In a way, it looked like she had lost her will to live, like she didn’t want to be around any longer. At least not the way she was. But the truth of the matter was, she was not going to get any better. Dr. Haywood and two other doctors had assured us that she would never walk or talk again. She would have to be cared for like a baby until the day she died. And that saddened me. What saddened me even more was the fact that I didn’t want her to go on, either. Not because I had come to hate her. I still adored my mother-in-law. But because she’d become such a burden to me. I could not count the number of times in a day that the sight of her gave me thoughts so evil, they made my flesh crawl. I had known some despicable people along the way, but I had never wished anybody dead. And I certainly didn’t wish that on Miss Rosetta. What I really wanted was for her not to be my burden anymore. Her death was not the only solution. I got angry when I tried to address the situation with Jesse Ray, because it never did much good.
“I don’t see why you won’t hire a nurse to come to the house … at least a couple of times a week,” I said. I had just bathed and fed Miss Rosetta while Jesse Ray kicked back in his La-Z-Boy, with a beer in front of the television. It was the first night that week that he had come home from work before ten, and that was only to watch and record an episode of The Sopranos that he didn’t want to miss.
“You know why I can’t hire a nurse,” he said, not taking his eyes away from the television screen and speaking out of the side of his mouth. “I can’t afford it right now. I just bailed Harvey out of that mess with his taxes. Mama can’t be that much trouble. She sleeps most of the time, so I don’t know what you got to complain about.”
“I have to bathe her. I have to wipe the woman’s butt hole, J.R. Do you think I enjoy doing that every day? Do you think I enjoy having to find somebody to come sit with your mother whenever I want to go somewhere?” Since Jesse Ray refused to turn around to face me, I shot across the floor and stood in front of the television. That shook him up real fast.
“Christine, do we really need to discuss this now?” he asked. He motioned with his hand for me to move.
I moved away from the television and sat on the arm of his chair. “I make doctor appointments that I often have to reschedule because I can’t find a babysitter. I can’t even visit my own parents like I want to. I’m a young woman, but I’m beginning to feel like my life is over, too.”
“What do you want me to do? Other than hire a nurse,” he said, staring straight ahead. He took a sip from his can of beer and patted the side of my thigh.
I didn’t like looking at the side of his head, but I did as I continued talking. “Adele and Harvey have not done a damn thing for Miss Rosetta since she had her stroke. Not once has either one of them offered to sit with her, bathe her, feed her, or anything else. They come over here after I’ve done it all, and then they sit around talking about how they are not going to let us put Miss Rosetta in a home. And, that bitch Adele, she even told me to my face, no nurse was going to come up in here and abuse her mama.”
Jesse Ray whirled around to face me, with his eyes wide open and both his eyebrows arched. “I would appreciate you not calling my only sister a bitch.”
I leaped up and gave him the dirtiest look that I could manage. “Fuck her and fuck you, too.” With one hand on my hip and my other hand balled into a fist, I stormed out of the living room and stomped all the way to my bedroom. I ignored Jesse Ray when he came to bed, naked and pawing me all over. One of the things I couldn’t understand and hated about men was how they always tried to use sex like it was some kind of an elixir when a woman was mad, sad, lonely, or anything else they considered to be negative. I pinched his dick and kicked the side of his leg so hard, he almost rolled off the bed. He left me alone after that.
I don’t know when I went to sleep, but around midnight I woke up. Jesse Ray was sitting on the side of the bed. I was glad to see that he was no longer naked. He had on his navy blue silk pajamas and the white terry-cloth housecoat that I’d given to him last Christmas.
“Baby, I just had a long talk with Adele. Uh, we came up with a solution. She’s, uh, having some problems with Mel. I told her years ago not to marry Mel Howard. That man, and most of the men in the Howard family, are straight-up dogs. Did you know that his granddaddy’s brother is in prison for life for
killing his girlfriend?”
“Do you think there’s a chance that Mel might kill Adele?” I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm and hope.
“That’s not funny, Christine,” Jesse Ray scolded. “I love my sister, and when she’s in pain, I’m in pain.”
I sat up so fast, I pulled a muscle in my back. “And what about when I’m in pain?”
“I feel your pain, too, baby. I’ve never loved a woman the way I love you.”
“I hope you never will,” I said in a tired voice. I lay back down, keeping my eyes on Jesse Ray’s face because I wanted to see his expression when he finished what he had to say. Since it involved Adele, I already knew that it was going to be something that pissed me off.
“So what is Adele’s pain this time?” I hissed.
“Uh, like I said. The men in the Howard family are dogs. Anyway, Mel’s been drinking up a storm, just lost his job, and he’s hit her a few times. Tonight some woman claiming to be Mel’s whore called the house looking for him, and that was more than Adele could stand. I told her to bring the kids over here for a few weeks. That way she’ll be away from Mel, and she’ll be here in the house to help you out with Mama before and after she goes to work. And, I made it clear to her that Mama is her responsibility on the weekends and in the evenings, when she comes in from work. The twins can help out, too. That’s the least they can do for their own grandmother after all she’s done for them. Most kids don’t get five hundred dollars from Grandma every year for their birthday like those kids did.” Jesse Ray sniffed hard and touched the side of my face. “That’s the best I can do for Mama, you, and Adele and the kids.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Miss Rosetta was a handful, but the thought of living in the same house with Adele was a nightmare that I refused to think about.
I stared at Jesse Ray, with my mouth hanging open. My lips were moving, but no words were coming out. I had to clear my throat before I could speak again. “You what?” I couldn’t believe how hoarse I sounded now. Black bile and hot sour air rose in my throat. “You told Adele, she and her kids could move in with us, without discussing it with me? You know your sister hates my guts, J.R.”
“Well, if you can come up with a better solution, please let me know. In the meantime, my sister and her kids will be here tomorrow evening. I know it’ll be rough at first, but you’ll get used to it. I want to see a smile on your face again.”
“You want to see a smile on my face again, and you think that moving Adele and her kids in here will make me smile?”
“Christine, I am just trying to help this situation. Until I can afford to hire a nurse, you’ll have some help now in the evenings and on weekends. Now you can go do whatever you need or want to do during those hours.” Jesse Ray paused and rubbed his head. I didn’t like the tortured look on his face. “But if you really don’t want them here, I’ll call Adele right now and tell them not to come.” He paused again and sniffed, looking around the room. “I guess I could get her a hotel suite somewhere for a little while.”
I opened my mouth to speak again, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want Adele and her kids to move in with us, and I didn’t want Jesse Ray to pony up the money for them to move into a hotel. Knowing Adele, she and those kids would be at that hotel from now until eternity. And not some flophouse or dingy hostel! She would insist on something expensive. Just like she did with everything else when it was coming out of my husband’s pocket. That bitch!
I didn’t sleep the rest of that night. But that morning I did smile again for the first time in days. Right after Jesse Ray gave me a sloppy kiss and ran out the door and climbed into his SUV, I dialed the telephone number that Wade had given to me.
CHAPTER 47
“Um … hello, Wade. This is Christine,” I stammered.
“I know who it is,” he laughed. “You don’t have to identify yourself, girl. I’ll never forget your voice.”
“When we were kids, you used to forget my name.” I said it in a light, teasing voice, but I was serious.
“We ain’t kids no more, baby,” he said in that seductive tone of voice that I’d never forgotten. That was all it took to make me tremble. The fact of the matter was, he had offered his phone number, so he must have really wanted to be with me again. I had not, and would not have, asked him for it. The situation at home had made me so bitter over the last few months, I didn’t need to add to it by chasing after a man that didn’t want to be caught. At least not by me.
“I think I need that drink you offered,” I replied. Jesse Ray was just pulling out of our garage and onto the street. I was at the living-room window, with the drapes parted. I could see out onto the street with one eye, and I could still keep the other eye on Miss Rosetta, who was propped up in her wheelchair in front of the television. She couldn’t talk, but she could moan and whimper when she wanted some attention. And I knew that she could hear. But since she couldn’t speak or communicate any other way, I didn’t bother whispering into the telephone.
As a matter of fact, I was glad she could hear my end of the conversation. Of all my in-laws, Miss Rosetta was the only one who had ever been on my side. I knew she loved her son, but I’d got to know her well enough to know that she would not have approved of what was happening to me. I recalled all the times she used to tell me, “Girl, J.R. is my son, but don’t you let him, or no other man, make a fool out of you.” Miss Rosetta’s words rang in my head as I waited for Wade to respond. He’d already made a fool out of me. He had used me. But it had made me stronger and smarter. Now I would use him.
“I’ve been expecting to hear from you,” he said, then laughed. “And I’m glad to hear from you.”
“Can we meet at Giovanni’s in a couple of hours?” I said in a bold voice.
Wade took his time responding. “You want me to make love to you, don’t you?” he asked, saying the words loud and strong, like he wanted to make sure I heard him right.
“No, I want you to fuck me,” I told him. He got silent again. I immediately wished that I could take back my words. All of a sudden, I felt uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I wanted to hang up the telephone and tear the napkin with his phone number on it to shreds. Despite everything, I was a married woman. And, even though it was a struggle now, I still cared about my husband. However, the relationship that I had with my husband and his family now was the reason I’d called Wade in the first place! My face ached because I suddenly smiled in a way that was literally painful.
I didn’t know what to say next. Wade must have felt the same way, because neither one of us spoke again for several moments. I didn’t know what was going through his mind. There were things going through mine that I could not ignore. Like the way he’d treated me that other time I saw him at Giovanni’s and the way he’d treated me when I had turned up on his doorstep in L.A. But we were a lot older now. And, I didn’t know about him, but I was a lot wiser than I’d been in my youth.
“Uh, Giovanni’s is cool, but I think we’d be more comfortable at my place. Well, my mama’s place. I’m staying with her for a while. When do you want to hook up?”
“What’s your mama’s schedule for the next few days? I don’t want to visit when she’s there.”
“She’s at a friend’s house, getting ready to go to Reno with her. She’ll be gone for the next four days.”
“I’ll get there as fast as I can,” I assured him.
I was sweating so hard when I got off the telephone, I had to drink two glasses of iced water and place a cold, wet paper towel across my face.
I was so excited, I could already feel myself getting wet between my legs. My hands were shaking so violently, I had a hard time dialing Nita’s telephone number. She answered on the first ring.
“Can you come over and sit with Miss Rosetta for a little while?” I said. Even though it was before nine in the morning, I knew Nita was probably still asleep. She usually went back to bed after she got the kids off to school.
“Who is this?” she as
ked, letting out a loud breath.
“You know who it is. Shit!”
“What’s up?” Nita asked, laughing. “Girl, some of us are still in bed. Where are you going this early?”
My silence gave me away.
“You nasty puppy you,” she said and laughed. “What took you so long? Jeanette and I were wondering how long it was going to take before you hooked up with your hunk from the past. I’ll be there as soon as I can get dressed.” She paused and laughed some more before she hung up.
I had already bathed, dressed, and fed Miss Rosetta. She was staring at the television when Nita arrived, in a see-through raincoat over her pajamas and her hair still in rollers, less than twenty minutes after I’d called her up.
“I didn’t expect you to get here this fast,” I told Nita as she entered my living room, with her keys in one hand and a large cup from Starbucks in the other. I looked at my watch.
“You sounded desperate,” she said and grinned. She lowered her voice to a whisper when she realized Miss Rosetta was in the room. “Where is he?”
“At his precious video store by now, I guess,” I said, with an annoyed shrug.
“I don’t mean J.R. I meant … that long-legged piece Jeanette keeps telling me about. Wayne.”
“Wade,” I corrected. “He’s at his mama’s house,” I whispered back, patting my hair. I had pulled it into a ponytail, which was the most practical hairdo I could think of for what I was about to do.
“All I can say is, you deserve to have a good time.” Nita looked at Miss Rosetta and back to me, shaking her head so hard, one of her rollers fell out. “I’ll stay with Miss Rosetta for as long as you want me to,” she said, catching the roller in her hand and returning it to its place on her head. Nita was the only sister I knew who didn’t perm her hair or bother with wigs, hairpieces, or weaves. But of all the women I knew, she was the one who spent the most time rolling and unrolling her hair. “Or at least until I have to go pick up the kids from school.” Nita touched my face. “You look a little more disgusted than usual. Did something else happen?”