by Mary Monroe
“Did my husband really pay the ransom? A million dollars?”
Jason ignored me, but the satisfied look on his face answered my question.
“When you get out to the street, turn left and keep walking until you get to University Avenue,” he said in an impatient voice, nodding toward the left side of the alley we were in. “Keep on walking until you get to that Everett and Jones rib joint on the corner. Your man will be waiting on you there in the parking lot. If he ain’t there when you get there, wait on him. That’s where he’s supposed to pick you up.”
“I feel sorry for you. Wade is not your friend,” I insisted.
“Apparently, he wasn’t no friend of yours, neither!” Jason scoffed.
I wiggled myself out of the car, stumbling against it. “You tell Wade, I said he won’t get away with this,” I said in a voice so weak, my words didn’t even scare me.
“Get away with what?”
“After all I went through, do you think I am going to let you two motherfuckers get away with this shit?”
“Don’t be stupid and move into a burning house, baby. What’s done is done. This was your idea, and that’s something you don’t need to forget,” Jason said, shaking a finger in my face. “I heard them tapes Wade made of the phone conversations he had with you. Ain’t no court in this universe going to let you off if they hear them tapes. Things just didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, but things usually don’t. From what Wade told me, you still got a good thing going with your man, if you still want it. A big-ass house, a video business, credit cards up the ying yang. I should be so lucky!” That was the last thing Jason Mack said to me as he climbed back into his car and sped off, making such a sharp turn at the corner, he knocked over a mailbox.
I looked in both directions before I started walking. I didn’t stop until I reached University Avenue, where Jesse Ray was standing by the side of his SUV in the parking lot of a rib joint, looking so bad he could haunt a castle.
As soon as he spotted me, he broke out running in my direction.
“Christine!” he mouthed, throwing his arms around me so hard and fast, we fell to the ground, with me landing on top of him. “Baby … baby, are you all right?” he asked, crying. His eyes were extremely bloodshot and swollen. It looked like he had not shaved or combed his hair since the day I disappeared.
My head felt so heavy, I could barely move it, but somehow I managed to nod. “I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “Will you take me home,” I whimpered.
“Oh, baby, I thought I’d never see you again. Did they hurt you?”
“I’m fine, J.R. They didn’t hurt me. I just want to go home,” I sobbed, my head on his shoulder. We rose and stumbled to his SUV. With his hand shaking like a leaf, Jesse Ray opened the door on the front passenger’s side and tucked me in, buckling my seat belt. Then he got in, but he didn’t start the motor right away. He looked at me for a few moments; then he broke down and cried like a baby. He shook so hard, I thought he was having a seizure. I managed to wrap my arm around his shoulder. “It’s going to be all right,” I said, hoping that it would be.
“I never ever thought I’d have to deal with something like this,” he managed between sobs. I wiped tears from his face with the palm of my hand. “I don’t know what I would have done if they’d … if I’d never got you back.”
“Jesse Ray, they said if you called the cops or told anybody else about this, they’d be back,” I whispered, still wiping tears off his face. “They said they’d kill me for sure.”
“Baby, you don’t have to worry about anything like that happening. I swear to God you don’t. I will make sure of that,” Jesse Ray said, grabbing me in his arms and squeezing me so hard, I couldn’t breathe.
“What did you tell your family?” I asked, my face pressed against his chest.
“I told them that your mama was sick and you had to go stay with her for a while. I told Jeanette and Nita the same thing.”
“Nobody but us ever has to know about this?” I asked. Jesse Ray sniffed and wiped his nose with a tissue he fished out of the glove box.
“Christine, the only thing I care about is that I got you back and that you are all right. I don’t care about revenge or getting the money back or anything. I love you.” Jesse Ray hugged me again. This time I had to pry his arms from around me.
“Uh, they were waiting for me when I came out of the beauty shop. They had been watching me for days, they said.” I volunteered that piece of information before Jesse Ray asked.
He sniffed and cleared his throat. He blew his nose before he spoke again. “Baby, did you recognize them? How many were there?”
“Uh, there were two of them, and I had never seen them before. They kept me blindfolded most of the time. And, when they didn’t, they had on ski masks.” I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“If I could get my hands on those black bastards, I’d kill them!” Jesse Ray hollered, slapping the dashboard with his fist.
“Uh, and that’s another thing … They were white,” I said.
“Two white dudes snatched you?” Jesse Ray asked, with a surprised look on his face. “Hmmm. I could have sworn that the one that called me was a black dude. He sounded so much like my brother, Harvey, I thought it was him ….”
“The one that called you used a black accent to throw you off. I’m positive that those guys were white,” I insisted.
“White devils!” Jesse Ray roared, slapping the dashboard again.
“Uh … I … I need some clean clothes before I go home. I don’t want anybody to see me looking like this. Especially Adele.”
“You don’t have to worry about Adele anymore. They moved two days ago into that new development in West Oakland,” Jesse Ray told me. “I told you I was working on getting them out of our house.”
“That’s nice,” I said in a hoarse voice. And, before I could ask my next question, Jesse Ray answered it for me.
“I’ve interviewed two nurses. The one I am going to offer the job to is with Mama right now, as we speak. A sister from the islands.”
“I’m sorry about all this, J.R. I didn’t want it to happen.” I was sorry about what happened. I regretted the whole thing now. I couldn’t think of anything as bad as being double-crossed by somebody I trusted to make me feel as humble as I felt at this moment. I didn’t know how, but I knew that some day I had to make this up to Jesse Ray.
“Baby, I want to take you to the hospital to have you checked out,” Jesse Ray told me.
“What for? I told you I was all right. They didn’t rape me or anything like that. I would tell you if they did,” I wailed. “Can’t we just go home, where I can take a long, hot bath, and get some rest?”
“Christine, you have been through a traumatic situation. You need to talk to somebody who knows how to deal with these kinds of things.”
“Jesse Ray, what will we tell them? We can’t tell them I was kidnapped,” I yelled, frightened. “What will we tell them?”
“They don’t have to know what really happened. We can say you got mugged or assaulted on the street.”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. All I need is a hot bath and some clean clothes. And a glass of wine wouldn’t hurt.” I managed a smile, and then I leaned over and kissed Jesse Ray so hard, he squirmed. “Baby, just take me home.”
And that’s exactly what he did.
CHAPTER 60
It was amazing how well my in-laws had cleaned the house before they moved out. They had left nothing behind that indicated that they had even lived with us.
I didn’t dive into a hot bubble bath when I got home. I was so drained, tired, and angry about what Wade had done to me that all I could manage to do was fall into bed. I didn’t even take the time to stop and check in on Miss Rosetta or meet the Jamaican nurse that Jesse Ray was going to hire.
I had so much on my mind, I didn’t expect to sleep much that night. As angry as I was about what Wade and Jason had done to me, I was more concerned about t
hem telling the wrong person and implicating me. I was pretty confident that Jesse Ray would not go to the authorities or even tell his closest friends or family. Somehow I did manage to fall asleep. I didn’t wake up until noon the next day.
Jesse Ray was sitting on the side of the bed, with a smile on his face. “I just put on a pot of coffee,” he told me, brushing hair off my face. “I can fix you something to eat, or I can send out for something.”
“How come you’re not at work?” I croaked, attempting to rise.
“I haven’t been back since … since I delivered the … ransom. Mel is holding down the fort until I return. He thinks I’ve got some type of infection,” Jesse Ray said in a stiff voice.
“Jesse Ray, please tell me again that you won’t ever tell anybody about this. I don’t want to drag the cops into this, and I don’t want those white dudes to come after us,” I whispered. “We might not be so lucky the next time ….”
“As far as I am concerned, this never happened. If it would make you feel better, we can move. We can move out of this city, this state. We can even move to Canada if you want to. I’ve been thinking about opening up a store in Vancouver, anyway.”
“We can talk about all that later. I just want to get my bearings back. If Jeanette or Nita calls, or anybody else, I don’t feel like talking. Tell them that I caught whatever it is you got,” I said, faking a cough. It wasn’t really necessary for me to play sick. I really did feel like shit.
Jesse Ray nodded. “Let me get you some coffee.” He left the room and closed the door behind him. I suddenly felt more paranoid than I’d ever felt before in my life. Not knowing what Wade was up to was a frightening thought. He had tapes of our conversations plotting our crime. He even had Polaroids of himself and me in some extremely explicit poses. What if he decided he wanted even more of Jesse Ray’s money and wanted me to help him get it? Would he use the tapes and the Polaroids to force me into another crime? Just thinking about all the possibilities was making me dizzy. I curled up like a snail and cried like I’d never cried before in my life.
When I couldn’t manage to squeeze out any more tears, I turned over and faced the large window where I used to enjoy the view of the Bay and the San Francisco skyline. I could even see the famous Golden Gate Bridge from that same window. The curtains were open, and the hot sun made my eyes burn. I turned in the other direction because I was too weak to get out of bed and close the curtains.
I flipped over on my back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if I’d have to trade all of this for a cell in some dank women’s prison. I didn’t even hear the door open and Jesse Ray padding across the floor. What he said next hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Wade Fisher is dead,” Jesse Ray told me.
There was a profound jolt. My first thought was that we were having an earthquake, or I was experiencing a scene straight out of The Exorcist, because my bed shook so violently for a split second, I almost rolled off of it. I sat bolt upright.
“What did you say?” My voice was so heavy and hoarse, I could barely get the words out.
“Wade Fisher is dead,” Jesse Ray repeated. There was a blank look on his face as he stood in the middle of our bedroom floor, holding a tray with two cups of coffee on it. “The biggest wannabe star I ever met.”
“What are you talking about?” I let out a breath that was so strong, it could have blown Jesse Ray down if he had been close enough.
“You remember that punk from the old neighborhood who was always going around talking about how he was going to be in the movies? He was a dead ringer for that rock star. Uh, what’s his name? Lenny Kravitz,” Jesse Ray said, snapping his fingers. “Thought he was God’s gift to women. Wade, not Lenny. But then again, Lenny probably thinks the same thing. And, women can be such fools when it comes to men like that.” I didn’t like the tone of Jesse Ray’s voice or what he’d just said. It almost sounded like he was jealous.
He dipped his head and gave me a mysterious look. “And, don’t tell me, you don’t remember Wade Fisher, because males, especially young males, like to brag. Especially back in those days, when we were kids. Wade told everybody in Berkeley how he’d busted your cherry on your thirteenth birthday ….” Jesse Ray leaned over the bed, handing me one of the cups of coffee. “But, like I told you before, what you did before we got together is your business. Watch out, baby. This coffee’s hot.” My hands were shaking so hard, I spilled most of it on them and my lap. And, as hot as it was, I didn’t even feel it.
“How … how did Wade die?” I asked, my lips quivering. The top of my head felt like somebody had sliced it open. I recalled how nervous Wade had been standing near that mortuary the last time he called up Jesse Ray. “Bad karma,” he’d said. I prayed that Wade’s betrayal would be the only bad karma I’d have to face.
“It’s all over the news, on every channel,” Jesse Ray said, wiping coffee off my hands with his fingers. He was acting too calm to know as much as I thought he did. I sat there staring into his eyes, trying to read his thoughts. “Some neighbors called the cops after they heard gunshots inside his mama’s house. The paper thinks it was drug related because the guy that shot Wade had a rap sheet as long as a mule’s dick.”
“Jason Mack,” I mouthed. It took me a moment to realize that I was talking out loud.
Jesse Ray’s body got stiff, and he gave me a puzzled look. “Yes. But … but how did you know?”
“Uh, they used to be running buddies, and I heard that they did some burglaries together,” I said. “They were real close,” I added. “You said they think it was drug related?”
“The cops arrived before Jason made it out of the house. Apparently, he hung around after he’d shot Wade and tore the place up, looking for Wade’s stash. Cocaine, no doubt. When the cops tried to get Jason to surrender, he came out blasting. And that was the last thing he did in this life.”
“Did the cops find any drugs or anything else? Maybe Jason was looking for money.”
“Well, whatever he was looking for, he didn’t find. And, even if he did, it won’t do him any good now. Baby, drink your coffee before it gets cold.”
“Oh,” I croaked, sipping coffee I couldn’t even taste, because I was in such a state of shock.
“I’m anxious for you to meet Daisy,” Jesse Ray said in a cheerful voice that I knew was forced. He strolled across the floor and opened the curtains even wider. The pain that the sun caused to my eyes was nothing compared to the pain in my head.
In addition to everything else that I had to worry about, now I had to worry about Wade’s mother, the cops finding those tapes of me planning my own kidnapping, those Polaroids of my naked ass grinning into a camera, and a million dollars of my husband’s hard-earned money.
Even dead, Wade was still “fucking” me.
CHAPTER 61
I crawled out of bed like a lizard around two that afternoon. I slid to the floor and stood in the same spot for at least five minutes, trying to sort out my thoughts. I took a quick shower and wrapped myself up in a bathrobe. Compared to the bleak bathroom in the motel that I’d been holed up in for the past few days, my bathroom looked and felt like something in a palace. But I didn’t feel like anybody’s princess or queen. I still felt like hell, physically and mentally. One of the nagging things at the front of my mind was, where do I go from here?
I started sweating and crying, standing there in my bathrobe. Bile rose in my throat, and I had to lean over the commode to vomit. With the snot that ran out of my nose, the sweat, the tears, and the puke on my face, I was such a nasty mess that I had to take another shower. After I dried myself off, I let the lid down on the toilet; then I sat there and cried some more.
“Hey. You all right in there?” Jesse Ray asked, gently tapping on the door. I didn’t have my watch with me, and there was no clock in the bathroom, so I didn’t know how long I’d been in there. I was sorry that I hadn’t locked the door. Before I could respond, Jesse Ray eased the door open. “Baby, it’s goin
g to be all right.” He leaned over me, patting my back with one hand, rubbing my shoulder with the other. “Now pull yourself together, and come say hi to Mama.”
Jesse Ray wiped my face with a towel and led me back into our bedroom. He put lotion on my hands, face, and legs, like he’d seen me do almost every morning since we’d been married. Then he dressed me. He didn’t just snatch another bathrobe out of my closet or the first thing he got his hands on. He took his time and went through all my drawers, selecting my underwear and one of the many loose-fitting dresses that I liked to wear around the house. He even pulled my hair back, braided it, wound it, and secured it to the nape of my neck with hairpins. “Now,” he said, with a broad smile, smoothing down the sides of my dress after he’d slid me into it feet first.
“I’m fine,” I insisted, with a smile, when he attempted to lead me downstairs by the hand. I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t want to see my eyes. They were aching and itching, and I knew that from all the crying I’d just done, they were red and swollen, too. But the real reason I didn’t want to look into my own eyes was because I didn’t want to see what I really was. I didn’t want to look at my lying, evil eyes. I couldn’t face the reality of what I’d done. I managed to smile at my husband again, anyway.
“I’m fine, baby,” I said again, pushing his hand away. I slid my feet into the fuzzy pink bedroom slippers I kept on the floor by the side of the bed. I was so wobbly, I started walking like I had a big stick stuck up my ass. Somehow I managed to make it downstairs without Jesse Ray holding me up, but he walked so close behind me, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
It was nice to see that Miss Rosetta was doing all right. Well, not exactly all right, but as well as could be expected. She was no better and no worse. She just stared up at me from the bed that had become her prison and blinked. Then a few large tears oozed out of the corners of her eyes.