Dutch barked quietly and the figure turned toward them.
“Dutch.”
The dog wagged his tail as the man held out his hand and walked toward Dutch and Naomi. It wasn’t until the man was within a few feet that he saw Naomi standing there, dressed as she was all in black.
“What do you want?” he snarled.
“I…I…heard something,” she said, surprised by the anger in his voice. “I mean, Dutch heard something, and I was curious.”
“Well, now you have satisfied your curiosity.”
The man stepped toward her, and Naomi jumped back, confused about why he was approaching her. She felt a little foolish when the man walked right by her as if she weren’t even there to get to the water pump next to the fence. As he stepped into the moonlight and began pumping water with his left hand, holding his right hand under the cool stream, Naomi was startled to realize he was washing blood from his knuckles.
“You have hurt yourself!”
He shrugged. “That happens when you punch the side of a well-built barn.”
He finished rinsing his hand and pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket to wrap around his injured hand, tucking the ends in to hold it in place.
“I am sorry if I frightened you,” he said softly when he had finished, and his voice sounded sincere.
“You did not,” Naomi assured him, though when he quickly glanced her way, she conceded. “Well, perhaps just a little bit.”
He stared at her a moment. “You are Miriam’s sister, Naomi.”
She nodded. “And you are Jacob’s brother, Seth.”
“Guilty.”
Seth sighed and crossed to sit on a log waiting to be split. Dutch followed him and rested his head on Seth’s lap, as if the dog could tell that Seth was in need of comfort. Seth rubbed the big dog’s ears absently.
Naomi watched him for a long moment then took a deep breath.
“What did you mean when you said ‘it should have been me’?”
Seth hesitated only a moment. “I came down that ladder only a minute before Jacob. I should have noticed something was wrong—or I should have fallen instead of him.”
Naomi thought about his words for a moment then crossed to sit near him on another section of wood. She knew that her analytical mind – her ability to break down problems and find solutions – was a great asset in business, and she wondered if it might not be useful in helping Seth find some relief from the guilt that so clearly troubled him.
“It seems to me, that if the ‘something wrong’ had been detectable, then every man there—including Jacob—should have noticed it on the way up to the roof,” she said carefully. “That no one did tells me there was not anything there to notice.
“And as to why Jacob fell when you did not moments before, I would say there is a very simple explanation: Jacob was a good six inches taller than you, and broader as well. He must have out-weighed you by thirty or forty pounds, Seth. The weakened rung held for you and not for him, simply because you are the much lighter man.”
When Seth remained silent, she sighed.
“You should not blame yourself for what happened, Seth,” she continued. “It was no one’s fault. I know Miriam does not blame you, and I know she would be saddened to learn you do.”
He looked up and stared at Naomi for a long moment, as if he were trying to understand this strangely compassionate young woman who’d just stripped away his guilt with her well-reasoned logic. The bright moonlight showed her face clearly, but the moonlight was no help in reading her thoughts. After a time, Seth dropped his eyes once more to Dutch, who continued to lean against him, head on Seth’s lap. Seth played with Dutch’s ears, scratching just behind them as he pondered whether he could trust Naomi with another matter that troubled him.
“Naomi,” he whispered. “Do you know, Jacob is not even buried yet, and there are already those in my family who are hinting I should marry my brother’s widow?”
“You? Marry Miriam?”
“Yes! No!” He shook his head in frustration. “I mean some think I should, but I cannot marry Miriam!”
“What is wrong with Miriam?” Naomi asked defensively.
“Absolutely nothing,” Seth said, “but she is ten years older than I.”
Naomi snorted softly.
“You think this is funny?” he asked stiffly.
“No. No, no. It is only that just last week my father was hinting that I should marry a man twice my age who already has nine children.”
Seth frowned. “Not Joseph Hostetler?
“Does everyone around here make my life their business?” Naomi asked indignantly.
“I know him. Naomi, you cannot marry that man!” He snorted. “I remember his daughters from school, though they were several years behind me. Your father cannot be serious!”
Naomi grinned. “He is now—serious about my not marrying Herr Hostetler, that is.”
Seth returned her grin for just a moment then sobered quickly. “Thank God for that.” Seth paused while her thought for a moment. “I love Miriam, Naomi. I have ever since my brother walked into our house with her on his arm twelve years ago. I will continue to love her for the rest of my life. But she is my sister—even more so than any of my other brothers’ wives, I think, because she was the first, and I was only eleven at the time. I love her, and I intend to look after her and my nieces and nephew. But I cannot marry her. It just would not be right.”
Naomi looked at Seth and asked the obvious question. “Have you told her that?”
Seth shook her head. “I have not brought it up. First, I am afraid that if my relatives see me having an intimate conversation with her, they will take it all wrong, and second, I do not want to hurt her.”
“You are a good brother, Seth,” Naomi whispered.
“I try to be. Perhaps you could talk to her about it,” he added hopefully. “You would know if she is ready to talk about it wouldn’t you?”
Naomi thought about what he asked and nodded. “I will. I promise. Not right away—I think she needs to get through tomorrow and have a few days, at least—but I will not wait too long. I want to get to her before your family does.”
“You are a good sister, Naomi.”
Naomi smiled. “I try to be, but as you have learned, Miriam is an easy sister to love.”
Their eyes met and held, long enough for Naomi to wonder what he was seeing. A soft bark from Dutch, directed at yet another buggy on the drive, brought them both back to the present.
“I should get back inside,” Naomi said, standing and brushing the dust from the back of her skirt.
“I will walk you in,” Seth offered.
They took a few steps toward the house, and Seth was moved to reach out for the young woman next to him. “Thank you, Naomi,” Seth said, reaching out to take her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “Your words were a much better comfort than punching the barn.”
Naomi giggled. “I certainly hope so.”
She tried to convince herself that she didn’t really notice that Seth kept her hand in his as they returned to the house together.
5
“I saw you come back in with young Seth Fisher last night,” Ruth said casually the next morning.
“I ran into him when I went out for some fresh air,” Naomi said. Knowing very well that Ruth would not have brought it up without reason, she hoped there were not too many others who had noticed them coming in together. She had found she liked Seth—very much—but Naomi knew how hard it could be to keep a new relationship private in their insular community.
“Was that a bandage I saw wrapped around his hand?”
Naomi sighed. “He hurt himself when he punched the barn.”
“He did what?”
Naomi looked up from where she was dropping cookie dough on a baking sheet and met Ruth’s inquisitive gaze.
“He blames himself for Jacob’s death, Aenti .”
“But why on earth would he think that he had anythi
ng to do with Jacob’s fall?”
Naomi told Ruth of her conversation with Seth and regretfully concluded that her reasoning might have failed to convince him that his conscience should be clear.
“That poor boy,” Ruth said, her heart going out to him.
“It gets worse,” Naomi continued. “Since he is the last unmarried Fisher brother, his family thinks he should marry Miriam.”
“Oh, for goodness sake,” Ruth said. “Miriam will not be ready to remarry for a very long time—if ever—and she certainly will not be looking to marry young Seth, however good a brother he is.”
“Seth is worried someone in the family will approach Miriam with the idea, and he asked if I would talk to her about it, before anyone else might. He really does not wish to marry her, but neither does he wish to hurt her, Aenti ,” Naomi said with a sigh. “He loves her. She is his first sister.”
Ruth smiled. “The best of brothers. It makes sense for you to talk to Miriam, I think. I am certain she will appreciate it.”
“As will Seth.”
Naomi turned back to her cookies, completely unaware that Ruth continued to watch her, a thoughtful expression on her face.
***
“I am so glad you came by today,” Miriam confesses, handing Naomi a cup of tea. “I thought I needed to be alone, but all I have been is terribly lonely.”
“Where are the children?” Naomi asked studying her sister’s face closely. Though her eyes were dry at the moment, there were signs that Miriam had been crying not long before Naomi arrived.
“Shem and Rachel took the girls into Paradise for some shopping today. After raising seven sons, Rachel is thrilled to have granddaughters to shop with.”
Naomi shared Miriam’s smile at the thought of tiny Rachel Fisher shopping with Ruth and Rebecca.
“And Ezra?”
“He is with Caleb and the boy cousins. They are buying chickens today for their new chicken coop.”
Naomi laughed. “What fun they will have!”
“Yes, and fun has been in rather short supply around here lately.”
Miriam’s voice was filled with sadness. Naomi remained silent and sipped her tea, recalling all of the times that the two sisters and Ruth had sat quietly, knitting, quilting, or just sipping their tea, with no need for conversation. Sometimes you simply needed the company, and Naomi suspected this was one of those times for Miriam.
Recalling her promise to Seth last week, however, Naomi decided she needed to at least mention his concern. “I know it is too soon, but do you think you will ever marry again?” Naomi asked quietly, watching Miriam’s face for any indication that Miriam was unwilling to continue the conversation.
“I suppose I must,” she said, sighing.
“Why must you?” Naomi asked, surprised by her sister’s answer.
Miriam shrugged. “I want more children. I have always wanted more children.”
Naomi had always been puzzled by Miriam and Jacob’s family size, for three children was quite a small family by Amish standards. She’d never been bold enough to ask Miriam why, though. Deciding to just dive in, Naomi asked the question she’d wondered about for years.
“Why did you only have three?”
Miriam sighed. “Jacob was afraid for me.”
“Afraid? Why?” Naomi was puzzled.
“He knew Mamm had died following childbirth, and…”
“But you are nothing like Mamm, or so Ruth has said.” Naomi said with certainty, recalling the way in which her family had always talked about how tiny and fragile Leah had been, with a build not ideal for bearing children. “She says you take after the Miller side of the family. I am the one built like Mamm.”
It had always been a frustration to Naomi that her three older siblings were so much taller than she. Naomi had always felt like a runt, the small one who would never be as strong and hearty as her siblings. Even her father’s parents had been taller than she was. It wasn’t until Naomi met Mammi Otto, her maternal grandmother, that she’d realized that small stature did indeed run in the family on her mother’s side, and that Naomi just happened to be the only one to have inherited it. Mammi Otto had been a kindred spirit in other ways, too, as Naomi had instantly recognized in her grandmother the very same organized, rational outlook that made Naomi such a good businessperson, even at her young age.
“Jacob knew that his fear for me was unfounded, but he never could get past it. We waited between children, even though I would have dearly loved to have more of them”
Giving you only three children in almost eleven years of marriage , Naomi thought, reaching out to take Miriam’s hand.
“Do not worry about me, Naomi,” Miriam said briskly. “I will not be pursuing a Joseph Hostetler—or anyone else, for that matter—any time soon. Rachel and Shem would be heartbroken if I married again so soon after Jacob…if I took the children away. And besides, I am not ready to face leaving my home just yet, either. I have been very happy here. My whole life is centered right here in this home. I cannot even think about tomorrow right now, let alone next week or next month or next year. I will marry again, but not right away. I hope to let my heart heal before I seek out the attention of another man. There’s certainly no one I know that I would consider right now.”
Naomi decided to push just a little further. “What about Seth?” she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.
“What about him? I suppose he will marry sometime soon and start a family of his own. When he brings a wife home, then perhaps that will be the time for me to move on.”
“I was just wondering whether or not you had considered marrying Seth.”
“Seth?” Miriam’s laughter rang out, a surprisingly delightful sound. “I cannot marry Seth. That would be like me marrying Isaac,” she said, naming the younger of their two brothers. “They are of an age, you know, and while I love Seth dearly, he is a brother.”
Miriam sipped her tea then glanced at Naomi, puzzled.
“Why did you think of Seth?”
Naomi took a deep breath. “We spoke the night of Jacob’s viewing. He said some of his relatives—and he did not name names—had been hinting that as the last unmarried Fisher brother, he should marry his brother’s widow.”
“Oh, my,” Miriam said thoughtfully. “Poor Seth. He has not said anything to me about it.”
“I think he was afraid that if he were seen talking to you, speculation would grow.”
“Is that why he has been avoiding me?”
“Probably, but there is more to it.” Naomi paused before bringing up her second concern about Seth. “He blames himself for the accident. He thinks that Jacob’s death is his fault.”
Miriam sighed. “I was afraid of that.”
She set her teacup aside and rubbed at her temples. When she looked up, her eyes were bright with tears.
“I do not blame Seth, you know,” she said in a sad voice. “If anyone is to blame it is Jacob for not being more careful. He was forever running up and down ladders and moving too carelessly in high places.” Miriam paused, looking off into the distance. “Do you remember, Naomi, when Daed was teaching Abram and Isaac about climbing on ladders and scaffolding?”
Naomi nodded. “‘Always three points,’ he would say. ‘Never release the hand or take a step unless you have solid contact with the other three points.’”
Miriam smiled at Naomi’s attempt to mimic their father’s husky voice. “They learned that lesson well, I think. Unfortunately, Jacob did not. He was forever taking chances, overreaching, moving too quickly, carrying too much of a load. Shem remarked upon his eldest son’s habit more than once, and while I cannot be certain, because the brothers will not talk about exactly what happened around me, I am fairly certain it was Jacob’s haste and recklessness as much as a faulty ladder that killed him.”
“Oh, Miriam…” Naomi reached out and drew her sister into her arms. They both cried softly. Miriam was handling her grief well – managing to carry on and care for h
er children and household, but she still grieved nonetheless. The sisters cried themselves out at the same time, and they separated and reached for handkerchiefs.
After blowing her nose, Miriam looked up at Naomi and smiled. “Thank you for the shoulder.”
“You are welcome to it anytime,” Naomi said, returning her smile.
“Now, about Seth,” Miriam continued.
Caught off guard, Naomi felt her face heat. “What about Seth?”
Miriam noticed her sister’s blush and her smile widened.
“Naomi?”
Naomi made a point of carefully folding her handkerchief and returning it to her pocket.
Ignoring her sister’s nervous gestures, Miriam narrowed her eyes and watched Naomi carefully as she continued. “ You are interested in Seth—aren’t you?”
“Why do you say that?” Naomi asked, avoiding her sister’s eyes.
Miriam actually laughed. “You are blushing, dear sister, and I happen to know you rarely do. What else did you and Seth talk about that night?”
“Nothing, really. He was terribly upset and blamed himself. He had also just hurt himself punching the wall of the barn. There was nothing more to it than that.”
Miriam raised her eyebrows in surprise. “So that is what happened to his hand.”
Naomi nodded. “Please do not tell anyone, Miriam. I know he was embarrassed that I had witnessed his outburst.”
“Do not worry, Naomi. I will keep your secret. You know, it is actually a comfort to know that I am not the only one who wants to break things these days.”
Naomi glanced up and saw Miriam was serious. “I am certain it is only a minor sin,” Miriam said. “Surely God understands. Jesus cried for Lazarus.”
“And he overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple.”
“Exactly. So I am certain God does understand our need to give in to our emotions on occasion.”
Miriam reached for the tea pot to freshen their cups when they heard footsteps from the kitchen. A moment later, Seth entered the room.
“There you are, Miriam,” he said, smiling brightly. He saw Naomi and apologized, heading back toward the doorway. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
Romance In Amish Country Series Boxed Set: 1-3 Naomi's Story; Miriam's Story; Ruth's Story Page 3