by Ashley Beale
"Sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I just can't look at you while you're wearing that."
"Gee, thanks." My heart starts to ache at the thought of him being disgusted by me for even a mere second.
He spins around with fierceness. "I can't look at you because you look incredible, and we're next to your bed, and you're in your underwear..." he takes him a second to say anything more. He stares at me intently, in a way that makes me realize he wasn't disgusted by me at all. In fact, I think I may have actually turned him on somehow. "And I want to fuck you, Monica."
"Oh." I stare at him, still hanging onto my shorts, not sure what to do at this point. I know I should put them on, but I feel more powerful with them off.
"Are you going to get dressed?" he asks between gritted teeth.
I shrug, because I'm not sure what to do, honestly. "I don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know?" I watch as his pupils dilate. He wants something more, just as bad as I do. "If you don't get dressed, I'm not responsible for my actions." His smile spreads into a wicked grin. Everything below my stomach clenches. "You're being a bad girl, Monica. You're going to get punished."
"Okay," I practically moan breathlessly. "Punish me."
A groan escapes from his throat while he slowly turns his head side to side. "You're killing me." Then with ease, he steps towards me, lifting me up to wrap my legs around him. Turning us towards the bed, he pins me beneath him, kissing me with all his built up tension. He pushes forward, his erection rubbing against the throbbing feeling between my legs.
I dig at his back, reaching for the hem of his shirt so I can pull it off him. Except, everything that is burning hot cools off in an instant when Sumner shouts. "What the hell!"
Leon instantly stops kissing me, no longer thrusting into me, but he does continue to stay covered over me while he peeks over his shoulder to Sumner, who is covering her face. "Can you give us a second?"
She nods her head, turning towards the living room. "I brought you something for when you're finished Monica, but please don't take forever."
I'm still in too much shock to say anything, but when she closes the door I instantly start laughing. Leon glances back down at me, I can see the humor in his expression as well but he holds it back. "You think that's funny?"
I nod my head, biting down on my lip to suppress my smile, which still shows.
"Do you think it's funny now?" He thrusts his hips forward. In an instant I moan, even though I try to stop it. "Thought so." He climbs off from me, standing at the end of the bed while he adjusts his pants to make his erection less known. "Blue balls are a real thing, you know."
"I didn't say we had to stop," I plead.
"Oh, we do though." He looks towards the now closed bedroom door before glancing back over at me. "Now will you finally get dressed?"
"I guess," I say with a frown. Sliding off the bed, I pick up the shorts that had dropped when he took me in his arms, sliding them over my legs. "Well I was excited for the girl’s weekend, now I'm going to be devastated the whole time."
Leon presses his hand to my cheek, looking down at me with adoration. I don't think I'll ever get used to the feeling it gives me. "Why are you going to be devastated?"
"Knowing I could have stayed here and had sex with you."
He chuckles mildly, the air brushing against my skin. It makes me want to kiss him but I resist the urge. "If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't planning on doing anything except kiss you."
"Will you ever make love to me?" I ask, needing to know the answer.
I don't like how he stares at me, like he is unsure of the answer himself. "I don't make love, Monica," he says after a few seconds. "I fuck, I screw, I can make you come over and over, but I don't make love."
It shouldn't turn my insides into mush, as there was nothing romantic about what he said, but somehow I want to wrap up in a blanket with him and never let go. I almost hate how much I'm falling for him, and how soon he's consumed me, but I have zero control over how my heart, body, and mind all react to Leon.
When I don't say anything, he glides his hand to the nape of my neck, curling his fingers into skin. "I want to fuck you," he says in a whispered tone. "But not yet. Because when I do, I want time to savor the feeling of your pussy around my cock. I want to taste you inside and out. I want to explore your body with mine. I'm not going to have a quickie with you then send you on your way. I want to own your body with mine. Okay?"
I nod my head to answer Leon. He fights himself with something while he glances back and forth between my eyes. I want to know what, but as usual, I don't ask him. He's given me so much more than I ever expected already.
After a moment, he leans in and delicately places a kiss on my lips. "Where are you going for the weekend?" he asks before kissing me once more.
His hand slides down my shoulder and arm, holding my hand when he reaches it. It sends chills down my spine in the absolute best way. "You'll have to ask Sumner. It's my birthday tomorrow, so I think she's trying to surprise me."
"It's your birthday tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me before now?"
"I figured you knew."
"Why would I know that?"
"You found out where I live magically, I figured you read over all my paperwork."
"I'm doing something for you birthday then," he says, ignoring my remark. "I'll be right back." Dropping my hand, he walks out towards the living room. I follow after him.
Sumner sits on the couch, looking extremely bored while she plays on her phone. She glances up at us, curling her lip. "Well, at least you made it fast."
"Where are you guys going to be tomorrow?" Leon asks, ignoring her statement as well.
"Uh, it's a surprise." She glances over at me. "I didn't want to tell Monica."
Leon looks at me. "Go to your room, please."
"What? No."
"Actually, here." Sumner picks a gift bag up from the floor and holds it towards me. "I got you a few cute shirts I thought would fit you. Try those on, and I'll talk with your friend here." She smirks like she's winning something over on us.
I grab the bag and look in. "Why did you do this?"
"Because I love shopping and you need shirts."
"You didn't have to do this," I argue.
At same time, both Leon and Sumner simultaneously order me to try on the clothes. I purse my lips together rather than arguing, then turn on my heels to try on the clothes. I want to hear what they’re saying, but I think they're whispering out the details to one another. I am beyond curious what they have planned. Maybe Sumner will drink tonight and I can get the details of it all.
She bought me seven shirts, all with enough stretch or material to cover what I have for a belly, and hopefully will fit me for a few months. I try them all on quickly, then keep the final one on, packing the rest in my duffle bag along with a few pair of shorts, all of which need to be washed. I don't have a washer and dryer, so I go to Mom's every week to wash whatever I wore the previous week.
Grabbing my duffle bag quickly, making sure I have my charger, phone, and purse, I exit the room to try to hear something about their plans, but they're both sitting on the couch casually. I give them equal glares. Sumner grins stupidly at me, while Leon looks breathless.
"You look beautiful." His words float in the air, surrounding me with warmth all over. Standing up, he walks over to take my duffle bag, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "You shouldn't be carrying this. I'll put it next to your friend’s car, then I'll let you have a good night."
He starts to walk away, as he always does. I need more from him. "Are you ready?" I ask Sumner, but before she answers me I go in the same direction as Leon. I'm on the second floor, and he's already at the bottom of the steps when I get outside.
Sumner yells behind me, "Yeah, I'll grab your keys and lock up. No big deal."
"Thanks," I yell back, racing down the steps.
Leon turns to face me when he places the bag down
. "Have a fun night with your friends."
"That's all?"
"What do you mean?" he questions.
"I don't... get a goodbye kiss?" I guess I didn't know what I wanted from him. I just didn't want him to walk away like he always does. I feel anxious and confused the moment he's out of sight.
He looks around us for something then leans in, quickly kissing my cheek. "You have to remember, I'm in the public's eye. I can't be seen having an affair with you."
I feel nauseated, but I understood from the beginning what this was going to be. Maybe I had an image in my mind of something more than secrets and casual encounters. Maybe when I thought about the moments together, and I factor in my feelings for Leon, I imagined he'd feel more comfortable around me. I've envisioned far too much of an actual relationship with Leon, which is what makes it hurt so much when he reminds me of what I should've kept telling myself in the first place.
When I don't do anything more than nod, looking down at the duffle bag between our feet, he says softly, "But I'll see you tomorrow for your birthday." It makes me smile, even just the slightest. "Will you look at me?"
I do but his phone immediately starts to ring. He looks down at it, backing away in seconds. "I'll, uh... I'll see you tomorrow." He turns and starts to pace walk away from me, answering his phone when he does.
My body startles when a hand touches my shoulder. "Are you okay?" Sumner asks. I almost forgot she was with me, and now I feel like a failed friend for a moment.
"I'm fine. I'm ready to go." Picking up the duffle bag, I place it in the trunk.
It takes over twenty minutes for either of us to speak, listening to the radio rather than talking, but eventually, as I assumed she would, Sumner turns down the radio. "You sure about all this?"
"About what?" She glances over at me and I know exactly what she means. Leon. "I can't explain it. I'm already falling so hard for him. I never knew I could feel this way about someone."
"But you do realize that you're never going to have a relationship with him."
I shrug, looking out the window rather than at her, because slowly I'm feeling her rip my dreams in half. "Maybe."
"No, Monica. I'm being your best friend, which means I'm being honest with you. I'm not sugar coating this crap. He is with Ellie, and they're having a baby. You can't get into the middle of all of that."
I hold onto my belly, thinking about what she says. I know she's right, but somewhere I also have faith that things work out the way they're supposed to. So why wouldn't this situation be the same?
"Well," she continues when I don't say anything. "I know you have a brain, and you definitely have a heart, so maybe one day you'll use your brain to save your heart."
"I think he could love me," I whisper.
"I have no doubt," she counters. "Why wouldn't he? You're an amazing person. People fall in love with people all the time, but they don't always get to be together."
I look over at her, she is paying extra attention to the road, as the traffic is starting to get backed up a little. "Are you sure you're okay with our affair?" I hate even using that word, especially since we haven't actually slept together, but in the end that is exactly what this is.
She chews on the inside of her lip, thinking to herself before speaking out loud. Which is probably for the best for both of us, because although Sumner is usually kind to absolutely everyone, when she needs to make a point, she does, and it usually leaves a bit of a burn at the end. "I don't hate you for it, nor do I blame you for it. I do feel for Ellie though, when she finds out this is going to destroy her. And I think it should end before the baby comes. It's one thing to have fun," she argues, looking over at me. "It's another thing to ruin the lives of innocent people in the process."
"I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Spud."
"Someone is going to end up hurt, and I want you to prepare yourself for the fact that that someone is probably going to be you."
I take a cleansing breath, feeling the anxiety forcing its way through my body. Then I take another. "Can we stop talking about it then? I want to enjoy this weekend."
After a long second, Sumner nods her head. "Of course. It's your birthday weekend, we'll have a great time."
Rochelle and Penelope are both waiting when we arrive. I feel even larger when I see Penelope who looks like she ate a burrito for lunch. She is tiny, even though she is technically further along than me. "About damn time," Rochelle complains. "This whine ass has been saying how she's hungry, how she has to pee, how hot it is, how tired she is. Remind me never to get knocked up."
Penelope walks past Rochelle, slapping her on the arm. "Then stop being a whore."
"I'm not a whore."
"You broke up with Derik three days ago and you already have a new man friend." Their banter is mainly in joking fun, but I can still see the underlining tension between them. "And you said you had to leave early Sunday for a different guy."
"I didn't say I didn't enjoy sex, all I said is that I'm not a whore. Not my fault I find men that make sex fun. I bet William lays on the bed with an inhaler close by in case you do something daring, like touch his butthole."
Sumner and I both stop in our tracks to look over at them. Penelope looks distraught and Rochelle looks three seconds away from turning ghetto. "Gross, Rochelle."
"See, boring. If you took an extra step and added a little kink into your sexual activities, I promise you'd actually enjoy it a lot more as well."
"I do enjoy sex, thank you, I simply choose to stay with one guy."
"A guy you pretty much hate, and we all know it."
Penelope rolls her eyes. "Yeah, we're going through a rough patch, but all the greatest relationships do."
"Not mine. They all end when we start to argue, then I don't have to stress about shit."
"What did you and Derik argue about that was bad enough for a break up?" Sumner asks, interrupting their ridicule.
"He wanted to move in together."
"And that made you break up with him?"
"Yup." Rochelle reaches for her bag, making her way to the beach house. "You all can be tied down with whomever, I'm going to enjoy being tied up from man to man."
"See... whore," Penelope adds in with a smile.
"What are you drinking tonight?" Rochelle asks her, but answers for her jokingly. "Haterade?"
"Okay, kids, I think that's enough," Sumner adds in. "Let's go have some real drinks Rochelle, and let the two pregos have some..."
"Haterade," Rochelle adds in once more, giggling while she walks away.
Sumner and Rochelle walk in front of Penelope and I. The glare Penelope gives Rochelle means she took a lot of that to heart. "You know," I say quietly, hoping Rochelle doesn't hear me. "I think you and William are perfect together, and it's obvious that you love one another. This child is going to be lucky to have you both."
She throws her arm over my shoulder. "Thank you for lying to me."
Sumner ends up ordering us all takeout and had rented several movies, purchased more munchies than we'll ever eat, and made both regular margaritas and virgin ones. We all throw a bunch of pillows and blankets down in the living room, close up all the curtains and shades, and together have a sleepover party like we haven't done in a long time. No more bantering, arguing, or discussing anything of importance.
I think we all pass out from the overload of food. The food coma makes me feel as though I slept for days, but in actuality it's not even seven in the morning when I check my phone the following day. I even check the date because I didn't want to miss my birthday with Leon.
The rest of the girls wake up when I place my cereal bowl into the sink. They moan and groan about their bodies hurting from sleeping on the floor. Unlike them, I snuck onto the couch last night and slept there. "I need a mimosa," Rochelle grumbles as she sits at the breakfast bar.
"I could use a coffee," Penelope adds in. "Or two."
"I'm hungry all over again," I laugh.
Sumner
eyes each one of us individually before turning towards the bathroom. "Let's find somewhere to go then. I have to pee first."
We drive down the road about three miles to a resort Sumner's parents are part of. There is a large golf course that sits on the bank of a cliff, and the resort's outdoor cafe overlooks it all. This morning the smog is thick, but you can still see the orange-ish yellow sunrise brightening everything above us. It's already nice out, over sixties degrees with a slight breeze since we're coastal. We sit close to the edge and are able to see the handful of golfers making their early Saturday morning rounds.
We order a variety of food and drinks, which doesn't take long at all to be delivered to our table. The waitress leaves a tablet on the edge of the table in case we need her before she makes her way back, as they're unusually busy this morning.
"That looks good," Penelope states, taking a sausage from my plate. "I should have ordered that." She looks down at her omelet with despair. "Instead I choice healthy."
"Which is probably why you are half the size of me."
"True." She digs into her omelet and I realize that maybe Penelope doesn't want to get big. After all, she's had a lot of previous health issues due to not wanting to be larger than a size four. It's always about looks for her, and I make a mental note to start watching how she eats as she gets further into her pregnancy. I can honestly say I don't care what I eat although I do try to be healthy for the baby, and although I feel enormous right now and I know I'll get abnormally huge by the end, I'm enjoying it immensely so far. After all, it's an excuse to eat what you want and get away with it.
When we're finished eating, the waitress comes out with a large slice of ice cream cake, a lit candle placed securely in the middle of it. She starts to sing, and many of the surrounding people join in, including the three at the table with me. My face turns bright pink while they finish out the birthday song to me.
Placing the plate in front of me, the waitress says, "Make a wish." I close my eyes, and suddenly I envision Leon kissing me under the stars, telling me he wants to be with me. I know what I want my wish to be, I want this end in an happily ever after. Opening my eyes, I blow out the candle, which has everyone clapping.