We couldn’t be anything more than we were. I couldn’t let that happen. But I had a feeling I was going to.
The guys and I ended up going to that bar, but only for about thirty minutes. They hadn’t been in the mood, and frankly, I wanted to get out of there and get to Zoey. That probably made me a fool, but I couldn’t help it. I was losing my mind when it came to her, and that thought just reminded me that I had already been losing my mind for many things.
I really should step away, but I knew I wouldn’t.
I dropped John off at his place, and he just grinned over at me. “Thanks for tonight. I know it wasn’t a rowdy night like most bachelor or stag parties, but I had fun.”
I returned the smile.
“I had fun, too. Not every stag party needs to be a gorge of excess.”
“Exactly. I’ll talk to you soon, but thank you for everything. Seriously. I know I sort of dragged you into this, not quite kicking and screaming, but close enough.”
“I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.”
And that was the truth. I liked John, and I wanted to see him happy. And Lacey was the one who made him happy.
The fact that I was scarily falling for Lacey’s sister was something I really didn’t want to think about.
Because, fuck it. I wasn’t allowed to fall for her.
“Have fun tonight, and say hi to Zoey for me.” John winked as he got out of the car, and I froze.
“Huh?”
“I saw you texting tonight. Tell Zoey hi for me.”
I cursed but shook my head, knowing I couldn’t really deny it at that point. I wasn’t going to lie to my friend, but I wasn’t going to come out and say anything either.
I made sure John got inside and then pulled out of the driveway to head towards Zoey’s house. I could stop right now. I could head home and say I was too tired. I could make sure to put distance between Zoey and me.
However, every time I thought of doing that, I couldn’t. Because the reasons I was staying away were starting to sound a little thin the more times I said them. So, I just needed to trust myself and her not to fuck things up. But I couldn’t get too serious. Not when I didn’t know what my future held. Not when I was afraid that the next set of test results would come back not in my favor. If I ever got the damn results since my doctor was slow as fuck. My stomach hurt again, and it had nothing to do with the anticipation of Zoey. I promptly put those thoughts out of my mind and made my way to Zoey’s door.
She answered as soon as I walked up, her grey jeans and soft top looking way too sexy on her. Her tousled blond hair lay over one shoulder, and it looked as if she had pulled it out of a braid. I hated that she looked so sexy, and I couldn’t hold myself back from having thoughts of more. It was getting really hard to not want Zoey. Especially when I knew I needed to step away. But right then? I wasn’t going to.
“So, you had fun?” Zoey said, stepping back so I could enter the house.
I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, knowing it was a mistake as soon as I did it. She let out a surprised breath and then moaned as I deepened the kiss. Yes, I was going to hell. But I was going to enjoy every fucking minute of my time on the way there.
“Well, hello,” she said, grinning, her eyes a little glassy.
“Hey, Zoey-girl. Yes, we had a good time. John is safe in his house and probably going to read one of the many comics he just bought.”
“That’s good. I know he doesn’t have a lot of time to read these days.”
“With his new job after the move, he’s probably not going to have a lot of time for a while.”
“Nope, but he has tonight. I’m glad that he didn’t go crazy or anything and have too much fun.”
“It’s John, he wasn’t ever going to go too crazy.”
I followed her to the couch in the living room, and my dick hardened again, remembering what we had done on that sofa. She bit her lip, and I knew she was thinking about it, too.
Hell, my dick was already too hard, and I hadn’t even really touched her.
“Did you enjoy your night?” I asked as we settled onto the couch. She leaned into me and nodded against my chest.
“We had fun tonight, too, but no one got too drunk. I didn’t even drink at all, mostly because I don’t like drinking out in public anymore. You know?”
My jaw tensed as I sat next to her on the couch, and she cuddled into me.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to bring it up,” she said quickly.
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see it.
You shouldn’t be sorry for bringing it up,” I growled out.
“I’m fine, though. Really.” She pulled away even though I tightened my arms so she couldn’t face me. “It was a long time ago, and you were there.”
“You might be fine, but I still want to find that piece of shit and tear his arms off.”
She smiled softly when I eased my grip, then leaned forward, her hand on my chest as she brushed her lips against mine. “Thank you.”
“Don’t fucking thank me for that.”
“I meant thank you for still caring.”
I sighed and then pulled her closer. “Want to watch another movie?”
She shook her head and then kissed me again. I groaned.
“Really?” I asked, my hands on her ass.
“Just not on this couch. I think I need to buy a bigger one if we’re going to keep doing this.” She smiled against my lips, and I was thankful that she didn’t notice that I had stiffened. Because, Jesus, buying another couch? That sounded like a future. And, hell, I couldn’t let her get too close.
So, instead, I kissed her harder and then maneuvered so I could stand and pick her up.
She let out a squeal and wrapped her legs around my waist. I made my way to her bedroom, her hands rubbing over my face as she stared at me.
Hell, I needed her, and it pained me to admit because I didn’t want to need her just then.
So, I pushed those thoughts out of my head and went back to kissing her. We were in the bedroom then, stripping each other of our clothes.
“I need you inside me,” Zoey whispered, and my dick hardened even more. Impossible.
I pulled my shirt over my head, and she undid the belt on my pants, the sound of leather and the metal of the buckle making both of us groan. I lifted up her shirt and then undid her bra, her breasts falling heavily into my hands.
She let out a gasp as I pinched her nipple, and then I leaned down to suck the tip of it into my mouth. I wanted more. I wanted those little pink nipples to get all dark red and look like little cherries as I sucked and licked.
She moaned, pressing my head into her breasts, and I couldn’t help but smile against her.
“Needy,” I growled.
“Just like you,” she said, and she wasn’t wrong.
We undid my pants, and I stripped them off before I pulled her jeans down. And then we were naked, and I had my hands on her ass before I flipped her onto the bed.
“Ack!” she exclaimed, but I didn’t pay attention. Instead, I went down to my knees and slid my mouth between her thighs.
She had one hand in my hair, the other gripping the edge of the bed as I licked and sucked and ate.
I parted her folds, looked down at her wet, glistening pussy, and kept licking. I hummed against her clit, loving the way she tightened her legs around my shoulders, and then I licked again, this time using two fingers to penetrate her. The inner walls of her pussy clamped around my digits, and I curled them, looking for the sweet bundle of nerves that I knew could make her go off in an instant.
Her body shook, and so did mine, my dick so hard I was afraid I would come right then, but I pressed that bundle, circled, and then pressed again, my thumb on her clit. She came hard, her pussy drenching my hand as she shook, calling out my name.
I kept going, pleasuring her again until she was right on the edge, and then stopped, pulling my fingers out and making sure her eyes were on mine as I licked my wet finge
rs one by one. Her eyes went dark, and her legs fell open, showing me every inch of her.
Her hands roamed up her chest, and she cupped her breasts. I quickly made a dash for the condom, sliding it over my length as I kept my eyes on her.
“Caleb,” she whispered.
I nodded, unable to speak.
I positioned myself at her entrance and then pushed into her, one painstakingly slow inch at a time. She was so tight, and even after all the times we had been together since that first time, she was still tight. I had to close my eyes and try to think of England or baseball so I wouldn’t come immediately. I wasn’t even fully seated inside her yet.
Her hands clutched at my shoulders, so I leaned down to kiss her, and then I was deep inside her, both of us shaking as her inner walls clenched around my cock.
There were no words, there didn’t need to be. I slid in and out of her, slowly at first, and then faster, harder. Until both of us were moving as one, on the brink of ecstasy. And then I moved my hand between us and played with her clit again so she would come with me.
“With me, Zoey-girl,” I echoed my thoughts, and she nodded, clenching her inner walls.
My eyes crossed at that, and then I closed them, latching my lips to hers as she came hard, and I followed. I didn’t shout her name, didn’t do anything except kiss her. Because I was afraid. So afraid that, if I wasn’t careful, I was going to fall.
And I couldn’t, not when I was afraid that I didn’t have the time I needed. Not when the unknown stared at me just like I stared into the abyss.
I kept my mouth on hers, and I kept moving, taking every ounce of pleasure that I could. Because this could be my moment, my present, and if I were lucky, maybe even my future. I didn’t dwell on that, though, because I couldn’t.
As we fell asleep together, her in my arms, I tried to be okay. Attempted to think that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. She didn’t know that I was sick. Didn’t know that we were still waiting on more brain scans.
And I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I was going to break her heart. And possibly break mine, too.
Chapter 13
Zoey
Somehow, today was the wedding rehearsal. It seemed like only yesterday that I had walked into my mother’s home, unknowing that everything would change so quickly. It honestly felt like a blink ago that my sister had handed me the tablet and the wedding book from hell, asking me to be her maid of honor.
I didn’t regret doing this for my sister, though I did lament the amount of time it had taken.
However, I did get to know Caleb along the way, so maybe it was all worth it.
I shook my head. No, I wasn’t allowed to think about him too often today. Even though he would be right there with me, for the entirety of the wedding rehearsal, and maybe a little bit after.
We didn’t have plans that evening other than being near each other, and I couldn’t help but want more.
How had I fallen for him so quickly?
I knew a crush from childhood and then on into adulthood was far different than what it was like to be with the man himself. And as I understood the different layers of him, and I got to feel him against me almost every night this week, I couldn’t help but need.
It should’ve worried me, but it didn’t. Not in the way that it probably should have.
I pushed thoughts of Caleb out of my mind because this was not about him. Today was all about Lacey and John. Okay, so the whole weekend was about them.
The wedding was on Saturday, and they’d scheduled the wedding rehearsal for Thursday. There had been another event booked for Friday at the place they were holding the rehearsal, so they’d made this work. Plus, John was able to make it work for his job, and now we were here at a beautiful, old, and rustic-looking farm, ready to have the rehearsal.
They would be getting married here on Saturday, as well, and I honestly could not imagine a better place for the two of them.
Because Lacey might seem chic and city-like, but she loved nature and adored old farmlands and mountains. The same with John. Soon, they would be living in the big city and wouldn’t have this view every day.
So, they were going to take advantage of every ounce of it that they could.
And I was happy that I could be a part of it.
The old farm was still a working farm, but they had made half of it a place for people to visit, and they had even built an inn on the grounds. We would be staying at the inn on Friday and Saturday night. Tonight, we’d be going home, which I didn’t mind because I would probably need a break from Lacey and my family for a while.
Not that I didn’t love them, but weddings always brought out the scary in people.
“Wow, pumpkin, you’ve sure done it, haven’t you?” my dad asked, and I grinned and looked over at him.
“This was all Lacey.”
He shook his head and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing the top of my head. He had always done that, and it just reminded me of home.
Because when Mom and Lacey had been stuck at the hospital, Dad had been with me to make sure I got to school, help me with my homework, and to work far too many hours to make sure we could afford everything that my little sister needed.
It had never truly been him and me against the world, but he’d always been my person within the family.
“It looks wonderful. And I never would have thought of having a wedding and a rehearsal at a farm. But this works.”
“This doesn’t really scream farm to me,” I said honestly, looking around at the elegant area with the Rocky Mountain backdrop. He laughed.
And the place really didn’t feel overly country. The inside of the old barn, the one that the farm owners didn’t use anymore because they had built a refurbished one that was actually meant for farming, had been turned into a hall of sorts.
It was all grey wood and rustic-looking. There were long benches inside, as well as some outside since the weather had cooperated.
Everything had clean linens and white and light gold plates and accessories. The tables had been set beautifully, and I couldn’t actually wait to see what would happen on the wedding day. The rehearsal was just part of it. This was but a glimpse into what the wedding day would be like, but the colors would be even more vibrant and stunning on Saturday.
“It looks beautiful, the lighting’s great, and I know that your sister is going to have the time of her life, especially once she blinks and realizes that her future husband is standing at the other end of the aisle.”
“She’s been fun these past few weeks.”
My dad laughed.
“That’s a wonderful way of putting it, pumpkin.” He kissed the top of my head again and then gestured towards the man standing on the other side of the hall.
“And if my eyes aren’t deceiving me, there’s another man that I should probably be talking to. About you?”
I blinked and shook my head. “That’s Caleb, Dad. You know Caleb.”
He nodded. “I do. And I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Should I get all big, bad dad on him?”
I froze but then laughed nervously. “Let’s not. We’re just, you know, friends.”
“I don’t want to know what that ‘you know’ means. However, he makes you happy. I can see that. So that makes me happy. But just know that if he changes that somehow, I will kill him. I have my ways. It would be long and painful, and no one would miss him.”
I actually didn’t know if my dad was joking at that point. “You know, you should probably leave Caleb and go give this talk to John. After all, he’s marrying your sweet baby girl.”
“He’s marrying one of my sweet baby girls.” He squeezed my shoulder again, and then let go. “I should go and see where I’m supposed to be. If not, I’m sure Lacey will tell me.” He rolled his eyes, and I laughed, shaking my head.
“Coast clear?” Caleb asked as he walked towards me.
“Were your ears burning?” I asked, laughing.
“Oh, not
so much. More like every part of me because I saw the look your dad was giving me. He going to kill me?”
I shook my head and slid my arm around his waist. He held me close, and I did my best not to sigh like the Disney princesses that my friends tended to act like when they were thinking about their men.
I was not going to become them.
“He just wanted me to know that he would kill you for me if needed.”
“That’s nice.”
From the way that he spoke, I didn’t think that he thought that was nice at all. However, we didn’t have time to focus on what that meant, or what we meant, because the wedding rehearsal was about to start.
I said goodbye to Caleb and then went to Lacey’s side as she went through her notes and looked around.
“Okay, we’ll get this done. Marni, are you doing okay, doll?”
We all looked over at John’s sister, who currently sat on one of the chairs near us. She patted her very round belly.
“We’re doing just fine here. Still have a couple of weeks until the due date. Don’t worry.”
Lacey smiled, but I didn’t know if there was much glee in that grin. “Oh, I’m not worried. That baby will not be coming on Saturday.” She knocked on wood, and I swore threw salt over her shoulder. Where she got the salt? I had no idea. “You’ll be fine, and then, in a couple of weeks, we’ll welcome a new member to the family. Everything in a nice, logical order.”
I barely resisted the urge to look at my mother. Because I had a feeling my mom was probably praying right along with Lacey at that point.
A bridesmaid giving birth on or during the wedding probably wasn’t a good omen for anyone. But Marni looked fine, and we still had time.
“Okay now, this is how it’s going to go,” Lacey began, but before she could get too far into her tirade, John came around and dipped her into a very deep, nearly inappropriate kiss.
That sent titters through Lacey, and I smiled, unable to help myself.
“Well, hi,” Lacey said.
“Hey there. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I loved you. And I cannot wait for Saturday. Everything looks great, light and love of my life. This is going to be amazing, no matter what happens, because in the end, I’m going to be your husband and you’re going to be my wife. And nothing else in the world matters except for that. So, take a breath, and know that I love you. Okay?”
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