by Teresa Hill
“Well, Kim called this afternoon. She found an apartment. A big two-bedroom place on Sixth Street, part of an old house that’s been broken into apartments.”
“Great,” Kate said. Kim was their youngest sister, just twenty-one years old, and had just graduated from college after the summer session. She’d taken a spot in a house with four other people, but they were driving her crazy and she wanted out. “She’ll need a roommate. Money’s going to be tight with her just starting out, and teaching school… I mean, I’m happy she’s teaching, if that’s what she wants. But she’s never going to make a lot of money.”
“I know.” Kathie looked uneasy.
Kate gave up on hiding in the refrigerator and started buttering the rolls. “Surely we know someone who’s looking for a roommate.”
“Well…actually, I was thinking I might move in with her,” Kathie said. “I mean…you and Joe…I’m sure you’ll be setting a date soon, and whether you move in here or into his place, you won’t be in the market for a roommate anymore, and… Well, I just thought it would make sense. Don’t you think?”
Oh. Kate should have seen that one coming. It would make sense, if she and Joe were going to get married. But they weren’t… Of course, her sisters didn’t know that yet, and if Kate told them now, they wouldn’t get the apartment. It would mess up all their plans.
Kate loved plans. Plans made everything easier, she believed. She especially loved it when her sisters made plans, because she worried they didn’t do it often enough. The last thing she wanted to do was mess with a good plan. Plus, if anyone should be living alone, it was her. She was the oldest. She was supposed to help take care of her sisters, and she made more money than any of them.
Great plan.
So why did she feel as if she was being abandoned?
Which reminded her of Shannon.
“Oh,” Kate said. “That would be great. Then if Shannon needed to stay for a while, she could have your room.”
She said it with a forced smile she hoped her sister wouldn’t notice. She’d wait until they signed the lease on the apartment and then tell them about her and Joe. It would be too late for them to back out on the apartment then. Her failed engagement couldn’t be allowed to mess up her sisters’ lives. All she needed was for Joe to play along for a day or so, and he felt guilty enough to do just about anything right now.
“It makes perfect sense,” Kate said.
Her sister looked so relieved she knew it had been the right thing to do. And yet, there was something… Kate couldn’t say what, but something that had her thinking there was more going on with Kathie than Kathie had said, too. Was Kate a lousy roommate? Was she so hard to live with? So…picky and set in her ways? Was that part of why Joe didn’t want to live with her, either?
“You’re sure?” Kathie asked tentatively.
“Absolutely.” Fake-smile time again. How long could she hold it without her face cracking under the strain?
Something weird was going on here.
Kathie would tell her if something was wrong, wouldn’t she?
Unless she worried that Kate wouldn’t understand or sympathize? Unless, maybe, she worried Kate would give her a little lecture and talk to her about being careful and making plans. Not that Kate’s plans were working out at the moment.
Like when her mother died, this thing with Joe had Kate thinking the worst thoughts. Such as…maybe planning didn’t matter at all. That it was useless against life’s little tragedies, like losing people she loved. What good was a plan if it didn’t keep her safe from blows like that? She wondered if she was moving into some odd cycle of complete disarray. She’d always thought strings of personal disasters that happened to other people were completely avoidable with nothing but a good plan, but now she wasn’t so certain.
It was as if she could feel all sense of control slipping though her fingers as she sat there buttering rolls and thought about not having Joe, about not having her sister here with her and having a walking ad for Halloween costumes in her shower and about a priest flirting with her, all things she wouldn’t have thought possible not two days ago.
She had no plan anymore, she realized.
It was terrifying.
Chapter Seven
Ben spent a good fifteen minutes contemplating his own cowardice toward his secretary, Kate Cassidy and possibly even Shannon Delaney, and another fifteen thinking of his general uselessness, until he was thoroughly sick of himself and ashamed. It took that to get him to Kate’s house.
Defrockment didn’t sound so bad at the moment, as he wondered what in the world he’d say to Kate.
If he hadn’t balked at kidnapping, Shannon would be safe and warm and well fed, and her baby would be, too. But, no. He’d let the church cleaning lady and his secretary scare him into refusing to break the law, and look what happened? He lost track of a pregnant fifteen-year-old, maybe for good.
He got out of his car, walked morosely up the front walk and knocked on Kate Cassidy’s front door. It was still raining miserably, and he was cold and hungry and feeling sorry for himself, too. Perfect time to meet a woman who he thought had great legs—a woman who now despised him.
She opened the door a fraction of an inch, safety chain engaged and frowned up at him, as if she was having a nightmare that included visions of him. A dog stuck his nose out and sniffed.
“What are you doing here?” Kate said in an outraged whisper.
“Looking for Shannon Delaney. Is she here?”
Kate frowned even harder. “What do you have to do with Shannon Delaney?”
“I got her into Big Brothers/Big Sisters,” he admitted.
Which sent the door slamming in his face.
He stood there and wished he could swear without feeling guilty, but then the door swung open, minus the chain, and Kate, looking all rumpled and cute in flannel pajamas with what looked like drunken reindeer on them, said, “You got this girl into the program and assigned to me?”
“No,” he insisted.
Her dogs, a big one and a silly, little one, gave him the once-over but decided to reserve judgment for the moment. He didn’t even try to befriend them.
“Do you have no shame at all?” Kate asked.
“I do. A great deal, actually, about a number of things—”
“I’m not surprised at that,” she announced.
“Oh, stop it! I’m not Catholic. I’m an Episcopalian priest. There’s a difference. I’m not breaking any vows by…by—”
“By what?”
“You know what,” he said. “Although, I am sorry for that. I shouldn’t have done it. I should stay out of your engagement. I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t been on a date in about two years. Can we put it down to that?”
“You’re allowed to date?”
“And get married and have children and all that stuff, not that I’m likely to ever manage the marriage part, and if I did the kid part without the marriage, I would be in trouble. I’m just bad at the whole man-woman thing, okay? And I’m not so great at being a priest, but I’m not a jerk, either.”
He was almost shouting by the time he was done, and the big dog was growling, the little one hiding behind the sofa. Water was dripping off his face, because he hadn’t brought his umbrella, and he was cold and very, very grumpy, not that he had any right to take it out on her. Just because she had nice legs and was kind to tiny, motherless girls who’d lost their hair ribbons, and he’d gotten ideas about her and him that would never come to anything.
“Sorry,” he said. “About everything. Is Shannon here?”
“Yes,” Kate admitted.
“Is she okay?” he added quickly.
And then, maybe because Kate saw that he really was worried about the girl, she eased up on him a bit.
“She’s obviously upset, but she got a hot shower, dry clothes and some dinner. She must have been exhausted, because she’s sleeping.”
“Thank God,” he said. Then, because she obv
iously wasn’t going to ask him in, he said, “Could I come in? Just for a minute?”
Kate made a face at him, but stepped back and opened the door.
So, it was that painful just to let him into her house? Great.
She left him standing in the entranceway, dripping on the tile floor. There would be nothing resembling a warm welcome.
“Did she tell you what happened?” Ben asked.
“Her father kicked her out.”
“Son of a—” He clamped his mouth shut, barely. “Sorry. He found out she’s pregnant?”
Kate nodded.
Well, that explained that. Shannon had come to him for help, and then, not a day later, her whole life had gotten worse.
“How do you even know her?” Kate asked.
“She showed up at my church looking for help.”
“So…you got her into Big Brothers/Big Sisters.”
“Something like that.” He wasn’t admitting to the stalking part. “She came back tonight throwing rocks at the front door and yelling at me. But she didn’t stick around long enough to tell me what was wrong, and I got worried.”
“So, you took off searching through town until you found her?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “I finally called Charlotte, who told me she’d matched Shannon up with you—”
“Yeah, about that…”
“—which I had nothing to do with.”
“Oh, right,” Kate said.
It sounded like he could be the last man on earth, and she wouldn’t believe a word he said. “I didn’t,” he yelled.
The dog growled again and took a menacing step toward him.
“Romeo, stop it,” Kate said.
“You have a dog named Romeo?”
“No, my mother had a dog named Romeo. My brother takes care of him now. I’m just dog-sitting, and the little white one is his fiancée’s dog, Petunia. She wouldn’t hurt a flea, and normally Romeo wouldn’t, either. But just so you know, he used to be a police dog. If I asked him to, he’d tear you apart.”
Romeo growled, to prove it.
“I’m not here to hurt anybody,” Ben said. “I just wanted in out of the rain.”
He glanced pointedly at the floor, which he was dripping on, he was so wet.
“Oh, all right.” Kate stalked off into the hallway, coming back with a towel, which she threw at him.
Romeo tried to snatch it out of the air, obviously thinking this was a game, but Ben got to it first. “Sorry to be such an imposition,” he said to both of them.
“What do you know about this girl?”
“Next to nothing,” he said, as he started to towel off. “I just met her two days ago. One of her teachers said she lived with her grandmother and was a pretty happy, normal kid, then lost the grandmother and moved in with the mother, who she’d hardly ever seen till then. Things were…not great, but okay. She lost her mother six months ago and ended up with her father. That’s when things got bad.”
“And the baby’s father?”
“No idea,” Ben admitted. “But I don’t think she has even seen a doctor the whole time she’s been pregnant. That’s the first thing we have to take care of.”
“We? What do you mean, we?”
“I’m not going to just forget about her,” he insisted.
“She was throwing rocks at you earlier.”
“She’s a teenager. You have to expect a little drama,” he reasoned.
“I have never thrown rocks at anyone in my life, and neither have my sisters.”
“Ever been fifteen, pregnant and homeless?” he shot back.
“No, but that’s no excuse. Throwing rocks doesn’t solve anything.”
“Maybe she’s not as problem-solving oriented as you are.”
Kate wanted to throw something else at him, but she really wasn’t a violent person. The towel was bad enough. She took it from him, explained to the dog that he could not have it, then didn’t know what to do or say. What a horrible day.
“She’s terrified, Kate. Haven’t you ever been terrified?”
The day her father died came to mind.
The day her mother’s cancer was first diagnosed.
The day they found out it had come back.
The day she died.
Losing Joe and having no idea what had gone wrong.
Those days came to mind.
“Sorry,” the utterly annoying man standing in front of her said ever so softly.
She realized too late there were tears in her eyes, falling unheeded down her cheeks and that, worst of all, he’d seen them. He took a step toward her, to do what, she couldn’t imagine, but she put up a hand to hold him off. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am. I’m fine!” Prickly as could be and a liar to boot, it seemed.
He took a breath and let it out slowly. She watched, not meaning to, but not looking away, as his shoulders slowly rose and fell with that breath. He had nice shoulders. Broad ones that were good for hanging on to when life was just rotten.
How long had it been since she’d hung on to anyone and cried? Or since the idea had sounded so good to her?
When her mother died? Had she hung on to Joe and cried?
She couldn’t remember.
She was sure he’d offered and said all the right things, but taking him up on it would have meant admitting how horrible and lost she felt, and that wasn’t something Kate let herself do very often. Even with Joe.
God, what was wrong with her?
“Bad day?” Ben Taylor asked, a wealth of understanding in his tone.
She remembered again how easy it had been to talk to him the day before, the way he seemed to really listen and let her come to her own conclusions. She’d like to blame him for what had happened with her and Joe, but it wasn’t his fault.
“I’d offer to listen to your problems, but I figure you’d throw something at me,” he said. “Something tougher than a towel.”
“Oh, stop. I don’t throw things. Not usually.”
“I just bring out the best in you?”
He grinned then.
He was kind of cute.
In a priestly sort of way?
“You’re really not…I mean…this is okay?” she tried.
“What’s okay?”
“You being in my kitchen at this hour with me…” Dammit, she was in her drunken reindeer pajamas! She’d forgotten all about that. Honestly, when the doorbell rang, she was sure it was going to be Joe, telling her he’d been out of his mind earlier and that of course there was no other woman. That he loved her and absolutely had to marry her, right away. Panic had her wanting to go back to the way things had always been, the way she’d expected her life to be.
But it hadn’t been Joe, and then she’d been so startled and so mad, she’d forgotten she was standing here in her flannel pjs.
“Nice jammies,” Ben Taylor said.
She shot him a look that had sent lesser men cowering, but he stood firm, grinning. “A present from my sister two Christmases ago.”
“Celebrating early?” he asked, because it was early October.
“I was cold, and these are the warmest pajamas I own.”
“Like I said…nice. I didn’t know reindeer got that happy.”
“I think they’ve been drinking,” she admitted.
“Didn’t know they drank—”
“I’m sorry. It’s late. I’ve had a rotten day, and I have Ghoul Girl in the bedroom I use as an office, and tonight I found out she’s pregnant.”
“Right. Sorry,” he said again. “What are you going to do with her?”
“I don’t know.”
Three little words that were practically foreign to her before a year or so ago. What hope did she have of doing the right thing, if she didn’t know what that was?
“She needs to go to the doctor for a checkup, at least. If I find someone who’ll see her, will you take her?”
“Yes,” she agreed. If the g
irl stayed around that long.
“Thank you. Sorry you had such a lousy day.”
And then she nearly started to cry again.
“Kate—”
He took a step toward her, shoulders beckoning. It would feel so good, wouldn’t it? To be in any big, broad-shouldered man’s arms while she cried her eyes out? She backed up for every step he took, and he finally stopped coming toward her, threw his arms up in surrender to show he was no threat and then said with every bit of sweet understanding and acceptance he’d shown her earlier, “Is there anything I can do?”
“No.”
There was nothing anyone could do. She’d just have to come to terms with all of it. How could she have been so wrong for so long about her and Joe?
“Okay,” Ben said. “I’m going to start calling doctor friends. I’ll find someone who’ll see Shannon, even without insurance, and then…I’ll call you, okay?”
Kate nodded.
“And I’ll behave, and I know you’ll behave, and we can help Shannon together. I won’t ask about your love life or try to give you advice. I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable or to give your fiancé reason to worry. Deal?”
Kate planned to keep her mouth shut and nod. That was it. Instead, words forced themselves out, escaping her. “You don’t have to worry about the fiancé. He’s fallen for another woman.”
There.
It was out.
She’d told someone, thinking it might feel better to stop holding it in.
Ben Taylor stood there, taking it all in. “You mean…yesterday, when we were talking…you just hadn’t told anyone yet? You were hiding it?”
“No, I didn’t know then. He just told me. A few hours ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
Her bottom lip started to tremble, as if she was about to make some really pitiful, crying face and sob. She held most of it back, with effort.
“It’s all right,” she insisted.
“Sure it is,” he said, not calling her on her little lie for once.
“I didn’t really love him. Not the way I should have. I thought I did for a long time, but I didn’t. Better to know it now than figure it out later.” Like another five years from now.