by Teresa Hill
“No, because of you.”
Shannon looked as if she didn’t believe it. Or maybe she was too scared to believe it, just like Kate was scared to believe in what was happening between her and Ben. They weren’t so different, her and this lost girl who found it so difficult to believe someone could truly care about her.
Sometimes Ben thought he could feel trouble coming. Call it intuition or a kind of advanced warning system, but he had it.
Walking through town the following Thursday afternoon, he was on the lookout for a problem, even though everything seemed to be going well.
His phone rang.
Kate.
He braced himself, but found nothing awry with her or Shannon.
“She’s fine, saying she still likes the first adoptive couple you found best, Emily’s parents.”
Tim and Tina hadn’t been looking to adopt right now. They’d been doing Ben a favor, letting Shannon see how their first, open adoption had worked out. But they’d turned out to be Shannon’s favorite, and when Ben had asked them last week if they would consider taking Shannon’s baby, they were thrilled. They really wanted Emily to have a sister, although a brother would be fine, too.
They’d been gearing themselves up to start the whole, long, stressful adoption process again, and they’d never expected it to be that easy. And they’d gone through the whole process of home visits and evaluations so recently with Emily, it looked as if it was going to be easy to get them approved again as adoptive parents quickly.
“But she still hasn’t said she’ll actually give them the baby?” Ben asked. He’d feel so much better once she did.
“Not yet, but I think she will. She’s been really quiet the last few days, thinking everything through, I think.”
Ben crossed over Main Street and headed toward the office of a lawyer who handled adoptions. He wanted Shannon to understand exactly what she was signing, if she agreed to an adoption. “So, I won’t set anything else up with other couples wanting to adopt, and…I guess we’ll just wait and see. Maybe from here she just has to come to terms with it.”
“I think that’s it.”
“Good.” One big problem, very nearly solved. “How are you?”
“Fine,” she said. “I’m thinking about—and don’t say anything, not one thing—but I’m thinking about taking the entire day off tomorrow.”
“Gretchen won’t know what to do.”
“I know. It’s really funny to see how outraged she is, every time I blow off work for a while. I suggested she do the same one day, and she started sputtering. I mean, sputtering. Couldn’t get out so much as an identifiable syllable. It was great.”
“What are you going to do with your day?”
“Take Shannon shopping. She asked me yesterday if it would be okay if she sent something along with the baby to her new parents, like a locket or a quilt or something, and I told her I thought that would be fine. We’re going to look for something special.”
“Great.”
“And maybe see if my hairdresser can strip the black dye out of her hair. Her hair’s coming in now, and her natural color is a pretty reddish blond.”
“Normal hair, no black leather…I don’t know if I’d recognize her,” he said.
She’d look like a girl again, which was what she was. Ben rounded the corner in front of the Corner Café and turned toward Fremont Avenue and the lawyer.
Everything really was going well.
He didn’t know of anything that wasn’t.
And still, he felt something…
“Let’s go to dinner tonight,” he said, knowing he’d feel better if he saw her. “Just me and you.”
“You mean, like a date?”
“Yeah, like that. There hasn’t been any decent gossip in town in weeks, and if you and I aren’t going to provide it, who will?”
“You’re right. It’s our duty. We’ll do dinner.”
She was laughing, happy and thinking of him, he knew, when he ducked into an alley as a shortcut to his two o’clock appointment and saw two people in the shadows against the back of the bank. He stopped in his tracks, thinking there was something familiar about them and not sure if he wanted to know who they were.
They were embracing, maybe having just kissed, and the moment looked emotional and intense, and this wasn’t the kind of place where people stole a kiss unless they really didn’t want to be seen. Which meant, they probably felt like they shouldn’t be doing what they were doing. And if he actually saw them, he might be faced one day with deciding what to do about what he’d seen, and situations like this never turned out well. He really didn’t want to know, but before he could get out of there, the man turned around.
It was Joe. He knew because no fewer than a half-dozen people had pointed him out to Ben over the last month or so, maybe thinking they’d get in a fist fight on the street or something.
Okay. That certainly wasn’t a disaster. Joe and Kate were done, and he couldn’t imagine Kate being hurt by Joe embracing another woman.
Except the man must have said something, because the woman jumped back away from Joe and then turned to look at Ben.
“Ahh, damn,” he whispered.
It was Kate’s sister.
Kathie.
“What’s wrong?” Kate asked.
He’d forgotten he was even on the phone with her. “Ahh…” he started sputtering, no recognizable syllables coming out of his mouth for a moment. “Nothing. I mean, I was just startled. I glanced up and saw something, and I wasn’t sure at first what it was.”
Kate’s sister had a horrified look on her face. She turned and ran down the alley. Joe looked grim, and he was walking toward Ben, like a man facing a firing squad, a man who wanted to say something before anyone blindfolded him and pulled the trigger.
Ben wanted no part of that conversation.
He turned and walked the other way, Kate’s voice in his ear. “Wait a minute. What was it?”
“Just… Kate…” No way was he telling her the truth like this, over the phone and without even thinking about how to do it and whether he even had to do it. And anything else he could say would have to be a lie, which meant he had to get off the phone. “Look, I’ve got to go. The lawyer’s schedule’s packed today, but he’s working me in, and I can’t be late. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine. I’ll see you tonight at seven.”
Assuming he’d figured out what to say by then.
Ben hardly heard a word the lawyer said and felt bad about wasting the man’s time. In his head, the whole time he’d been there, he kept going over his options where Kate, Joe and Kathie were concerned. He kept coming back to one inescapable conclusion. If he saw what he truly thought he saw—which was an intimate moment between Kate’s ex-fiancé and her sister, then it was likely Kate would find out about it sooner or later and that she’d be hurt. Even more so, if she found out Ben had known and not told her.
Which meant he probably should tell her. He could try to get her to calm down and think things through before she said anything to her sister, and maybe it wouldn’t be such an awful scene. She loved her sister, he knew, and he’d hate to see this turn into a big rift between them.
So…maybe he could do some good here, by telling her himself.
But it wasn’t his secret to tell. He wasn’t even sure there was a secret, although Joe had told Kate he was in love with someone else and that it would never work out. Which could mean he’d fallen for Kate’s sister. And unless the guy was a total jerk, that would be a miserable spot to be in. It would certainly be a miserable spot for Kate’s sister to be in.
He was starting to wish he was Catholic, and they’d both told him about the situation in confession, so he’d be ethically bound to silence.
No such luck for him.
He had to decide what to do on his own.
Kate stared into the mirror, frowning at her own appearance.
She wore a pair of dark slacks and a white blouse, and looked kind of…bland, she feared.
“Tell me you’re not going to wear that,” Shannon said, standing in the doorway, a look of disgust on her face, as she cradled Petunia in her arms and Romeo trotted after her. They were dog-sitting again. “Don’t you own anything that doesn’t scream middle-aged businesswoman?”
“I’m twenty-seven!” Kate said, as Romeo grinned up at her and swished his tail, obviously fine with her appearance. “That is in no way middle-aged!”
“Well, you dress like you’re thirty-seven,” she complained.
“Which is still not middle-aged!” She couldn’t possibly be ten years from middle age. No way.
“Surely you own something better than that.”
Kate frowned. She’d already been through her closet. Maybe she should have taken Shannon up on the idea of the two of them shopping together for clothes. Not that she’d ever take Shannon’s advice about what to wear, but there had to be some middle ground, things both Shannon and Kate didn’t love but didn’t hate, either.
Unfortunately, Kate didn’t own anything like that.
“Dressing well for business is an investment in your future,” she said, wincing at how prim she sounded.
Shannon giggled. Petunia was squirming and trying to lick her face. “Did you hear that in a dress-for-success seminar?”
“No.” She’d decided it all on her own. “People judge you by how you look. There’s no getting around that.”
“And you look like an old woman, heading off to work, except you’re not going to the office. Take your hair down. Put on some makeup—”
“I am wearing makeup.” She had on lip gloss and face powder, a hint of eye shadow.
“The pants wouldn’t be bad,” Shannon continued, “with my jacket—”
“I don’t wear black leather.”
“Why not? We’ll put some skimpy, bright-colored top under it—”
“I don’t wear skimpy tops.”
“Why not? You’re not going to work. You’re trying to turn on a guy.”
“I don’t turn—” Kate stopped herself right there.
What if she didn’t turn him on?
She wasn’t a middle-aged woman about to go close a loan. She was going out to dinner with a guy, a really great guy. They’d never had an evening alone together. They’d been too busy with Shannon. But now, they were going out, all by themselves, like grown-ups who liked each other.
“I don’t own any skimpy tops,” she said softly.
“I do.” Shannon took off for her own room, Kate and Romeo trailing after her.
“Wait a minute—”
“It’ll be fine. Don’t panic. All you need is some color and something that clings in all the right places.”
She put Petunia down on her bed, and Romeo jumped up with her. They snuggled together like an old married couple and Kate fought the urge to tell them both to get off the bed. Her controlling tendencies still got the better of her at times.
Shannon opened a drawer, dug through a pile of black tops and finally pulled out a pale-peach colored camisole with lace along the bodice and spaghetti straps.
Romeo woofed his approval. He’d want one for Petunia before too long.
“That looks like lingerie,” Kate complained.
“Well, it’s not.”
“It must be. You’d never own it if you planned on wearing it so that that anyone could see, because it’s not black,” she said. “And I can’t go out in public in that.”
“Sure you can. Ben will love it, and if you have to, you can keep the jacket on. All anyone will see is a little lace and your neck. How old did you say you are?”
Kate frowned and took the thing. She’d try it on, just to show Shannon how inappropriate it was. She went back into her room and closed the door in Shannon’s face. Peeled off her top and her bra, and put on Shannon’s thing. Made out of some kind of shiny, stretchy fabric, it clung everywhere, dipped low in front, not obscenely so, just…low.
“No way,” she called out through the closed door.
Shannon opened it and barged right in, leather jacket in hand. “Just try it.”
It wasn’t the heavy, bad-girl jacket she wore all the time. It was smaller, plainer and…well, not really bad-girlish.
Kate slipped it on.
“There you go. Take the belt,” Shannon said, holding out a black leather thing with a silver buckle.
“No. It’s too much.”
“Just try it!”
Kate did, thinking to prove Shannon wrong, and while she put on the belt, Shannon took the pins from Kate’s hair.
“Hey!” Kate protested.
But there was something nice about her long, blonde hair against the black jacket. And the jacket did cover up nearly all of the top. All she saw was a long strip of flesh at her neck and the merest hint of curves of her breasts.
“See?” Shannon said.
“Well…I guess it’s not bad.”
“Not bad! Wait until Ben walks in the door. He’ll be begging me to dress you all the time.”
Kate stared at herself, thinking she looked years younger. For years she’d been trying to look older because she handled a lot of money for people, and they tended to be more comfortable with someone who looked older than she was. But maybe she didn’t have to do that anymore. She wasn’t twenty-four and just starting her own business. Maybe she could loosen up a little on the business suits.
“Admit it,” Shannon said. “You love it.”
“It’s different,” Kate said.
“You love it. You know you do.”
“How about I let you take me shopping and pick out some things for me, if you let me pick out some things for you for after the baby comes?”
Shannon made a face.
“I won’t try to dress you like a middle-aged woman, and you won’t buy anything that’s black or leather. Deal?”
“I don’t have any money,” Shannon said.
“It’s all right. I do. The middle-aged-woman look paid off big for me, and my sisters won’t let me take them shopping.”
“And we both know why.”
“Maybe you could stop dying your hair black,” Kate suggested. “And I’ll wear mine down sometimes.”
“I think you’re taking the big sister, little sister thing too far.”
“No, I’m not. We could help each other. We are helping each other. It’s going really well, don’t you think?”
Shannon shrugged and backed away, leaning against the far wall of Kate’s bedroom. Anytime Kate got too close, the girl did this, backed away physically and mentally.
“Just think about it,” Kate said. “It could be fun.”
Kate was struggling to come up with something to gain back the ground she’d lost when the doorbell rang. The dogs took off at a run, ready to greet their visitor.
“Wait here,” Shannon said, turning and heading for the door. “I want to see his face when he spots you.”
Kate did as she was told, feeling a bit silly and more than a little nervous. It was a date. A real date, and she didn’t want to mess it up.
She heard Shannon talking to Ben, telling him Kate would be right out.
That was her cue.
She glanced at herself one more time, took a breath and felt as if she was blushing all over. She nearly tripped getting out of the bedroom, and then she was standing in the living room in front of Ben.
He’d put on a pair of black jeans and a form-fitting, crew-neck knit shirt in a soft gray color. His dark hair was still damp at the ends, curling a bit, telling her he’d just gotten out of the shower, and he looked tall and lean and very much a man.
Her nerves kicked up a notch higher.
He took a long, slow look at her from head to toe, then back up again, his jaw going tight, gaze narrowing, and then he whistled at her. “Wow.”
Romeo came to look, too. He sat in front of her with his tongue hanging out, a silly grin on his
face. He really was the biggest flirt.
Kate blushed even harder.
“Told you.” Shannon looked delighted and maybe a bit envious and sad, standing there with her hand on her big belly, Petunia dancing at her feet.
“Have you eaten?” Ben asked Shannon.
“I am not going with the two of you,” she said. “I’ll find something here when my stomach settles down, and I expect you to have her home at a respectable time.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, holding out a hand to Kate.
She took it and went to his side. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, and she caught a whiff of him. He smelled great.
“I’m not waiting up,” Shannon said. “Just in case you… Well, in case you’re wondering. I’ll be asleep in my room, and I’ll probably have my headphones on, listening to some music or something. Just in case. And the dogs will be locked up in my room with me.”
Kate gave her a look that she hoped would shut the girl up and said, “Lock the door when we leave.”
Shannon rolled her eyes dramatically and shut the door behind them.
Ben walked Kate to his car and opened the door for her, but before she could climb inside, he stopped her by catching her hand in his and stepping back and looking at her again.
“Too much?” she asked.
“Not at all. I just wanted to make sure it was you in there.”
“Shannon did it.”
“I figured.”
“She told me I dress like a middle-aged banker.”
“Well…I like the skirts. I could like them more if they were a little bit shorter, but I like them.”
“Leg man, are you?”
He nodded. “Although the…what is that little thing you’re wearing?”
“Underwear, I’m afraid,” Kate said, blushing furiously.
“Oh.” He grinned even harder, then put his big, warm hands on either side of her waist, beneath the jacket, against the clingy, peach top. He leaned down and kissed the side of her neck. “It’s nice. Very nice.”
Kate slid into his arms, holding him close and leaned her face up for his kiss. There was something to be said for this grown-up dating thing.
His kiss was slow and very, very thorough. She knew the taste of him now, the fit of his mouth against hers, his body against hers, the warm, welcome of his arms and little zing that went through her whenever he got this close to her.