He went and made the tea for her. It sounded as though he wasn’t needed in her new plans. She just needed time he tried to convince himself. He only wished he was better at being convincing.
He put the tea on a table next to him and helped Rhetta sit up. She sipped the tea as he held the cup to her lips. When she finished, she smiled her thanks. He fixed her pillow and tucked her back in.
“Is the pain any better?”
“No, but I wanted to be alert enough to enjoy our time together. I assume you’ll be leaving when the weather is clear. That could be months from now or it could be in a few days. You never know about winters here.” She stared into his eyes while she spoke but glanced away when she was done.
“I’m staying as long as it takes to get you healed. Plus, I’d like to see your land.”
She squinted at him. “Weren’t you already there when you rescued Hannah?”
“Yes, but I want to see it through your eyes. I want to smile at your excitement.”
“You are a charmer. Do you think you’ll ever be back to visit once you go to Canada?”
“That plan has changed. I’m throwing in with your family and raising quarter horses. Cowboys want them and the army needs them. I think it’ll be a money maker. I’m not sure what part of the ranch I’ll be on, but it’ll be a little bit away. We don’t want the thoroughbreds and the quarter horses mixing their blood.”
“You’ll have your own home?”
“I suppose so. I’ve been busy thinking about the horses instead of a house.”
“If you found a wife, would she be expected to stay near the house cooking and cleaning all day?”
“It would depend on whether or not the garden was close to the house. She might have to walk to where the best soil is.”
She stiffened. “I see.”
“I shouldn’t tease you when you’re hurt. My wife would be whatever she wanted to be. I don’t care what is supposed to be women’s work and what is men’s work. The work needs to get done is all. I want a wife I can talk to, one who will give me input on how things should be. I want a wife who loves me.”
“Would you expect to love this wife?”
He met her eyes and smiled. “Very much so.”
Chapter Ten
Tomorrow was the start of a new year and here she was in bed. She’d been getting up when no one was around. Her hands still ached but the rest of her was fine. All she could think of was Swift Eagle’s plan to settle on the ranch. Depending where his section would be they might be close neighbors. In fact, she was pretty sure Big Red would make sure of that. Big Red didn’t agree with her plan to move onto her own property.
According to Harrison, the deed she had was legal. At least she had gained something for all her trouble. But little girls didn’t go and live alone. Her face heated whenever she thought about them thinking about examining her to see if she’d been violated. The fact that they had been willing to do so had disturbed her immensely.
They all cared for her, but she didn’t need them to do anything for her own good again. Big Red had apologized to her, but it was a quick awkward apology and she didn’t believe him. She also thought Swift Eagle would probably end up going to Canada. But try as she might, she couldn’t be completely mad at her two men even though she wasn’t happy with either of them.
All she had ever desired was to be wanted. She didn’t want to be anyone’s burden. She didn’t want to be taken care of out of obligation. What was it about her that people didn’t like? She didn’t believe she’d been too troublesome a daughter. But a good man had spent over nine years seeing to her every need because it was expected of him. Now she couldn’t help but wonder Swift Eagle was trying to get close to her so he could have his horses. She didn’t want any part of their plans.
She had never asked for anything. She had her own money from her father’s stake in the lumber mill. But she never needed much. She cooked and cleaned and made herself useful, but it all came down to love. If a body didn’t love someone, it couldn’t be forced. She was grateful to Big Red for raising her and putting his dreams on hold. But it hurt to know he harbored so much resentment. He’d been her everything.
Her heart was no longer open. She had to protect herself at all costs. She was an adult now and she would take care of herself.
And now they told her there would be a New Year celebration. She must have had her days mixed up because she was sure the New Year was a few days ago. The laudanum made her confused and she vowed to take no more. She looked at the dress Tara had dropped off for her to wear to the celebration that evening. It was beautiful, but she wouldn’t be wearing it.
She touched the material and it was so silky. The lace was unlike any she’d seen before. What would it be like to dance in such an elegant dress? The Leary’s would be sure to empty a whole room just for dancing. Some of the ranch hands would be there in their finest.
Maybe they would finally think of her as a woman if she put on the dress, attended the party and acted like one. She hated to break her vow to never wear a dress again, but she needed to put an end to the little girl nonsense once and for all.
She got out of bed and made herself some willow bark tea. Hopefully, no one would hold her hand too tight. What should she do about her hair? She grabbed her hardly used hairpins and stood in front of the mirror. Gingerly, taking care not to tax her fingers, she took up her hair and twisted it one way and then another and put hairpins in to keep it up. She stopped, sweat already beading on her brow. That was all her hands would bear.
Picking up the dress she carried it into her bedroom. She rummaged around until she found her chemise and petticoats. She hated putting them on, for they were too fussy for her comfort, but once she slipped the dress over it all, she decided it was worth it. The dress was a dainty red color with a swirl pattern. She smiled. Dainty? Her? Too bad the right side of her was still bruised.
But she did look grown up. She had to find her stockings and earbobs next. She would wear her moccasins and she didn’t care if people disapproved. She could put on clothes they liked, but it wouldn’t change her.
Finally, she was finished. The woman in the mirror looked ready to take on the world. She should have kept going to church, but she had allowed rumors and lies to drive her away. She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to go into town again, but if she did, she wouldn’t run. Never again.
She could hear the fiddle and imagined how fast the player’s fingers were moving. Big Red had taught her to dance several years ago at Tara’s insistence. Tara had told her to stand on Big Red’s shoes. It was one of her favorite memories, but she doubted she’d dance with him tonight.
She didn’t have time for sad memories. Maybe Kevin would be there. She draped her cloak around her and smiled when she saw the path had been shoveled. She put her shoulders back and held her head high. This might be the last celebration she attended.
She opened the door, and the Christmas decorations were still up and even more lovely than she remembered. The tree with its little bows made her smile. She removed her cloak, and Cora’s son Jordon took it for her. There was a big crowd, but she knew them all. She looked around until she spotted Tara and then walked very slowly and ladylike over to her.
Tara smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
Zander nodded to her. “I was about to give up on you joining us.”
“I had to make more willow bark tea. My hands ache a bit.”
She turned and took a closer look at the crowd. Swift Eagle stood near the fireplace, and he nodded to her. She nodded in return and waited but he didn’t come to her. It stung. Big Red was dancing with Amy. They sure made a handsome couple.
Big Red stopped dancing when he saw her, and with Amy on his arm, came her way. “You are lovely. Can I talk to you in private?”
“Yes.”
After Amy let go of his arm, he offered it to her and she took it. He led her upstairs and into Luella and Declan’s room.
“I’m thr
illed you came. Rhetta, I’ve made a mess of everything. I love you so much, and I never considered you to be a responsibility or a burden. From day one we bonded, and when your parents—well, I was secretly tickled because it meant you could be mine. I didn’t want you to grow up. I don’t want you to not need me. I don’t even know where the words I uttered came from, but I think it was mostly from the fear of losing you. I depend on you an awful lot. You make me proud, and not because of the dress. I’m proud of who you are and how much work it took. Endless hunting trips and practicing with the bow and arrow. Teaching you to shoot a gun and a rifle. It didn’t matter to me you’re female. You liked those things, so we did them. If you had enjoyed making cakes, we would have done that. You are a strong woman, and I respect you for it, and I really am sorry.” He reached into his pocket and took out the pearls. “I think these would look lovely with your dress.”
“Pa, you’re going to make me cry. Could—” Her chin wobbled, and she clamped her mouth shut until she felt more steady. “Could you please put the pearls on me? I love you with all my heart, Pa. I won’t say you didn’t hurt me because you did, but I’m glad you wanted to talk to me.” After the pearls were secured, she turned and hugged him.
“Shall we return to the party?”
She smiled. “I would like that.”
They walked down the stairs, and she felt like a princess as people turned and stared. The admiration she found in their eyes astounded her. A dress did this?
As they walked onto the dance floor, a new song started.
“I’ll be gentle with your hand.” Big Red swept her around the room. She’d danced with him every year for nine years, yet she never felt so loved.
They stopped and her pa walked her to where most of her family was gathered, talking laughing and smiling at her. She didn’t feel empty anymore except… She looked around the room and there was no sign of Swift Eagle.
Tara touched her shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll be back. He couldn’t take his gaze off you while you danced.”
Her smile dimmed. Why would he leave without talking to her? She danced with Harrison, Declan, Heath, and Zander, and still he hadn’t come back. Once again, she had been so stupid, thinking this was a fairytale. At least part of her life was fixed. Finally the party ended and everyone started to leave.
She hung back. If his things were gone when she went home, she wouldn’t be able to bear it. Too much had happened in the last few weeks.
“I’ll stop over tomorrow and help with the tree,” she told Luella. “It sure is beautiful this year.”
“Yes it is,” a voice behind her said. Frozen in place, she didn’t turn around.
Swift Eagle walked around to stand in front of her and gazed into her eyes. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I like the outside but the inside is where I find I love you most. You’re honest, persistent, very skilled, you like the same things I do, and your heart is pure. That’s why I love you.”
Trying to take it all in, she remained silent. Swift Eagle guided her to a spot near the tree. “Candle glow and mistletoe.” He motioned for her to look up and there was mistletoe hanging right above them. He took her into his arms and kissed her. The kiss was long and deep and it was though they were the only people in the room. Slowly, leisurely, he drew back. “I want you to be my wife, Rhetta. Will you marry me?”
“Are you sure?” she asked. His eyes sparkled in the candlelight and were so full of love he really didn’t need to answer.
“With everything I am, I mean it.”
“Yes, yes I’ll marry you!” She lifted her face for yet another kiss. There was applause and she stopped kissing Swift Eagle and looked around. Her whole family was there.
“I left the party to get the preacher,” Swift Eagle told her.
“You came in all this snow?”
“Yes. I’ve always felt awful about the reason you wouldn’t attend church. I would like to make amends. It’s not nearly enough and I should have done something about it a long time ago.”
“I would like to get married now before all the candles on the tree melt.”
* * *
Swift Eagle couldn’t take his eyes off her through the whole ceremony. She was the one God had created for him. He hoped their days would be filled with the same happiness he saw on her face. He wished for many children to fill her arms, and he prayed that she would enjoy being a mother. They would still go hunting. There were plenty on the ranch who could watch little ones.
He slipped the gold ring onto her finger and smiled at her surprise. He knew the customs of a white man’s wedding. And he thoroughly enjoyed the custom of kissing the bride after.
“I love you with my whole heart,” he whispered.
There was a tear in her eye. “I love you with my whole heart.”
He held her under the mistletoe for a while. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”
She laughed. “Pa, are you going to be home while we talk?”
“No, I made other plans. I won’t be there for at least two nights. Please don’t forget to feed Swifty. He’s grown on me.”
Epilogue
Ten months later
“Rhetta do we have more diapers?”
“In the dresser drawer, Swift Eagle.” Rhetta smiled. Swift Eagle was a very good father and he loved his son Kody. She swore he spent more time with the baby than he did his horses and did he have horses!
He rounded up horses, trained them, sold them and rounded up more. She’d been worried that he wouldn’t like living in one place but she could tell he was happy.
Her heart had never been so full, first Swift Eagle and now Kody short for Lakota. Unconditional love was something she hadn’t quite believed in but now she was a believer. She was now a firm believer in God. They attended church each Sunday. The first Sunday had been nerve-racking. Of course that same biddy of a woman put up a fuss, but the pastor told her she could leave if she didn’t like it. The woman huffed a few times and sat down.
Shame wasn’t her constant companion anymore. Swift Eagle worked patiently with her until she was finally free of it all. She now believed that she was a kind woman with a big heart. She loved and was loved back.
They had gotten word that Kills Many had died in battle and the tribe wanted Swift Eagle to come back. She’d been tense over the news and fretted for an entire week. Swift Eagle kissed her fears away. He was her husband and he was never leaving her.
They had a few arguments. Swift Eagle thought she shouldn’t go hunting while she was pregnant. He wasn’t happy about it, but he gave in and he took her. Finally, in her eighth month she admitted that crawling around on the ground wasn’t very comfortable.
“Swift Eagle, I’ll finish with Kody if you’ll get the wagon ready.”
Swift Eagle handed her their son and kissed her lips. “It won’t take me long.”
Rhetta put on one of the baby gowns that had been in her hope chest and then wrapped Kody in a blanket. He was as handsome as his father, big brown eyes and all. She was wearing her green dress. She put on her wrap and carried Kody outside, handing the baby to its father. “I need to get the pies.”
The pies were already packed in a picnic basket. She grabbed the handle and glanced around at her fine new house. It wasn’t the biggest house, but it had extra rooms for more children. She loved every inch of it. It had been made with love by her whole family. Her heart warmed as she hurried out of the house, put the basket into the back, climbed up onto the wagon bench and then took Kody from Swift Eagle.
He jumped onto his seat and they were off. It was only a half hour drive to where the other houses were. They built the new house on the border of the ranches. They hadn’t decided what to do with the other house on the property, but Swift Eagle was looking for a good foreman and the promise of a house was bound to bring the best.
There was a slight chill in the crisp air. Autumn was her favorite season. They drove up to Luella and Declan’s house and already people were
having fun. As soon as Swift Eagle lifted her down, she was surrounded by the other women. Kody was already well loved.
“Ahem excuse me ladies but my grandson is here, and I’d like to see him.”
The women glanced at each other in amusement as they parted so Big Red could get to Kody. He gave Rhetta a kiss on the cheek first. “You look lovely.” Then he took the baby and walked away.
Just then Dawn and Heath’s son, Liam, started crying, so they all went to where Heath was holding him. He was a beautiful boy and he looked like Heath, red hair and all. The doctor had warned them no more babies. They had been blessed with two but next time Dawn might die.
“He’s sleeping a full five hours at night. I’d forgotten how good that felt. Five hours of sleep all at once.” Dawn told them. Her smile was so serene.
Rhetta laughed. “Swift Eagle gets up and brings Kody to me.”
“You got yourself a keeper,” Cora said. “I’ll keep that in mind after mine is born.”
“This is sure a day to be thankful,” Rhetta said. She hugged Cora. “Our family just keeps growing.”
“It surely is,” Luella agreed. “We might as well get Thanksgiving supper on the table.”
The women started for the house and as Rhetta walked past Swift Eagle, he grabbed her into his arms. “Come for a moment.” He led her to a spot where you could see much of the ranch and beyond. “I am thankful for every morning I wake up and see your beautiful face. I’m thankful that we have a roof over our heads, and we make more than enough money to live on. I have a wife and partner and I couldn’t have accomplished half as much without you. I am also so very grateful for the blessing of our son. He will grow tall and strong and join me training horses. Hopefully.” He grinned, pulled her close and kissed her cheek.
She pulled back and looked into his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m grateful I finally feel so very wanted especially by both you and Kody. I am so grateful you stayed, and we married. I didn’t think it would happen, but you put my heart back together and filled it. Sometimes I feel as though it’s overflowing. I’m a better person with you by my side. I found that I can believe in myself and accomplish anything I set my mind to.”
Candle Glow and Mistletoe: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book 5 Page 10