by Harloe Rae
Even with all that winter gear hiding any distinct shape, my imagination runs positively filthy. His thighs are sturdy pillars capable of hoisting a feminine-sized bundle without any effort. I bet he has the kind of ass that fills a pair of faded jeans better than a Levi’s commercial. Those muscular globes would bounce a quarter to the moon. A sigh whistles past my lips as I wrestle with these inappropriate musings. Ladies don’t appreciate being objectified by men, but I wouldn’t mind if Halder ogled me once or thrice. Maybe I’d feel better about constantly peeping at him.
I’ve given up fighting my wanton behavior. Being on constant alert is exhausting. There are bigger issues that require more energy, so I allow my dirty mind to have a turn in the front seat. Letting my secret desires wander isn’t a crime, especially while trekking through shady woodlands.
A slow inhale clears the lusty fog clogging my sound judgment. There will be no jumping of bones this fine morning. Fresh pine and rich soil perfume the crisp air. The branches sway from an easy breeze. A variety of organic hues decorate our trail. The wind is at our backs, effectively pushing us along. More friend than foe at the moment. I can only hope to preserve that relationship as the day wears on. Rows of evergreens continue on until I can no longer distinguish objects in the hazy distance.
The snowy scene unfolds into more of the same, but it’s uplifting to be moving forward. That boost lifts my chin to the awakening sky. The illusion of progress makes me believe I’m going somewhere. Each step motivates me to remain positive. Our pace is slow, thanks to the uneven terrain, which means I’m not forced to compete with Halder’s massive stride. The steady motion is elevating my core temperature, so being cold isn’t a concern. Getting my blood pumping fuels more good vibes.
Our journey has been mostly quiet since we left the clearing. Other than our crunching footfalls, only the scurrying of unseen critters tickle my ears. That modicum of comfort I’d held while bundled in my sleeping bag is now in the rearview. But returning to our landing site is always an option. The tracks we’re stomping into the forest floor won’t be difficult to follow. Having that choice gives me a shot of relief.
“Is it weird to be nostalgic after one day?”
Halder flashes me a dimple. “Probably not? I’m the wrong guy to ask. My list of attachments is damn short.”
“Oh. Maybe it’s weird to miss a place we’re forced to stay.” I take a final backward glance, sending the fading view of our clearing a silent goodbye. There’s a handful of decent memories I’ll cherish. Heat coils up my throat while a certain fiery minute from earlier invades my reverie. I lick my bottom lip, envisioning the gentle slide of another joining in.
His rough timbre only heightens my fantasy reel. “That spot treated us well. It was a good starter setup.”
A few blinks snap me out of that warm puddle. “I think the upgrades are what made it special.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He turns more fully to the side so I can see more of his face.
“As you should.”
Halder shakes his head. “Troublemaker.”
I open my mouth to reply, but am abruptly cut off. The pinch in my bladder is sudden and urgent. That level of insistence brings forth a flurry of dread until I’m dizzy. A bolt of shrill alarm soon follows.
What’s with the extreme onset? Why didn’t I have to pee until now? Had I been that dehydrated? Were there digestive suppressants in those drugs I was pumped full of? The most dire, and mortifying thought, chimes in last. I’ll have to relieve myself in front of Halder.
Once the urge presents itself, there’s no denying my need for release. The pressure is too intense. I dart my gaze this way and that, as if there’s a hidden outhouse posted nearby. The balloon in my lower abdomen expands, shooting tingles from top to bottom. Performing the potty dance has never sounded better. Crossing my legs in elegant formation might buy me a few precious moments.
My utter silence must set off some warning bells in Halder’s super-human abilities. He stops in his tracks and spins to face me. “What’s wrong?”
“Why do you think there’s a problem?” My voice is straining from holding the desperation at bay.
He gestures at me. “That sour look you’re sporting is a wicked tell.”
“I’m fine,” I grit.
“Just spit it out.” He makes a circular signal with his hand.
I gulp at the knot in my windpipe. “I need to pee.”
“And?”
“The timing is super inconvenient, not to mention embarrassing.”
A groove carves his smooth forehead. “Everyone uses the bathroom, Blakely.”
“I know that.” Is my tone petulant? Without a doubt, and it’s freaking childish.
“So?”
How do I explain my shyness? He’s just a person, one I happen to have a growing crush on. “It’s different with you here.”
He gives me a lazy smirk. “Because I’m hot?”
“Not the time for jokes.” I grind my molars when his grin spreads.
“Oh, I forgot. Laughing will only make it worse. Why are you delaying the inevitable?”
“Excuse me for trying to preserve my dignity.”
Halder flicks a wrist to the tall trees across from us. “I won’t see anything.”
“But you’ll hear it.”
“Would you like me to plug my ears?”
Is it ridiculous for me to say yes? I roll my tongue over my teeth while searching for another solution. “How about you crumple some leaves or make other noise to drown mine out?”
“I’ll take a piss. That should do the trick, yeah?”
“You’re so nonchalant about it.”
A simple shrug. “I’m a man.”
“That’s sexist.”
He grunts with a sharp nod of acceptance. “It’s the unfair stigma society provides. We don’t have to buy into that, Blakely. You’re my equal on the same playing field. Out here, we make the rules.”
It’s no surprise that his explanation is poetic perfection to soothe my nerves about urinating with an audience. He’s right, of course. The stage fright isn’t necessary. It’s a natural bodily function. He’s bound to hear me do worse. That truth brings forth a chilling foresight, and I almost whimper.
What’s going to happen when number two demands exit? Oh, Lord. I’ll never be able to face him again. That’s trouble for another dark hour. At least I don’t have to deal with getting my period. I can thank my overly cautious mother and her stand on birth control for that. But another thought immediately follows. My reprieve will only be good for a month. What if we’re stuck out here for longer? I shake the unnecessary jumble from my mind. Cleaning up that mess can also wait until warranted. Literally.
“Ready?” Halder has moved off the path and in the process of stepping behind a large pine.
“Yep.” My tone is little more than a squeak.
I march in the opposite direction until he’s no longer visible. Without wasting another precious second, I begin yanking at my pants. The layers of clothing aren’t helping with this chore. I can barely squat with the material bunched around my knees. Tipping over will make this experience that much more comical. At this point, I’m done caring about much other than getting the job done and staying dry in the process.
The instant I relieve myself is nothing short of pure bliss. I’m one hot burst away from moaning. Wouldn’t that be a cherry on top? I don’t spare an extra moment for drip-drying, but the coarse stubble on my legs stops me short. That scratchy length tells me it’s been three or four days since I last shaved. A gasp whizzes out of me at that discovery. Halder’s assumption is correct.
After my business is done, I make quick work of hiding the evidence with a mound of snow. I button up in a hurry, spinning on my heel with the recent confirmation taking charge. Halder is waiting for me in the center of our makeshift trail. I’m about to spill my news, but a niggling block traps the words.
Telling him I stroked my thigh wo
n’t aid in lowering my ever-increasing embarrassment.
He turns at the sound of me approaching. “Better?”
“Much, thanks for asking. This trip is teaching me more lessons in humility than I care to count.”
“I lost all sense of that in prison. It’ll strengthen your gumption. That determination will serve you much better.”
“If you say so.” I’m not convinced, but what choice is there? This crusade will continue putting me to the test until we find a way out. I refuse to consider the alternative. Can people truly survive in the extreme wilderness for months? Years?
He passes me a bowl packed with glittering snow. “You can munch on this as we move along.”
I accept the dish with a laugh. “Delicious.”
“Just think of ice cream.”
I scoop a bite into my mouth and groan. “Vanilla bean. So good.”
“Next on the menu is chocolate.”
A pout forms on my mouth. “Don’t tease a girl.”
Halder’s eyes flash with a gleam of something naughty. “You might like it.”
I choke on my supposed treat. “Are you offering to try?”
“Wouldn’t have bothered suggesting it otherwise.” His stare is a feral burst of flames lashing at my cool skin. A flush scorches my cheeks, and I let a sigh escape. We’re several feet apart, but I can feel his suggestion stoking the cinders of longing inside of me. Soaking in the steamy daze he spills is enough to curl my toes. I could very easily be at his mercy. If this is his idea of a tease, I’m one hundred percent on board.
I exhale a cloud of pent-up smoke. “Um, okay.”
Halder’s gaze is still locked on me. Is he riding this high with me? Should I bring up our almost-kiss? The answer is a resounding no. Bad idea. Probably the worst ever. Even my chatty alter-ego is slapping a hand over her mouth. The buzzing in my veins fizzles. I need to steer us back on track. He’s stuck with me for the foreseeable future. The last thing I want to do is make things awkward. If I haven’t already.
But does he obsess over these sultry moments? I certainly am. Heck, the lava is on a constant simmer in my lower belly. Does it matter if he is either way? Pulling the trigger isn’t my specialty where this guy is involved.
I tug at the collar of my jacket, scrounging for an escape route.
“And on that note, we should probably go.” He hitches a thumb in the direction we’ve been walking.
“Right. Good plan.” I’m bobbing my head too fast.
Halder offers me a weak smile. “We’ll hike until the sun hits high noon. Unless we find something worth stopping for before that.”
“Fingers crossed,” I murmur.
He sets off at a leisurely pace I can follow without effort. Bright rays reflect through the treetops. Based on the early light cresting mid-sky, we’ll be on the move for hours. Spending that time in strained silence will be nothing short of brutal.
I need a distraction, for both our sakes. “What are your goals, Halder?”
A chuckle jostles his shoulders. “Finding food and shelter. Making sure you’re safe. Getting out of the Canadian wilderness alive. Just to name a few.”
I bristle from his frosty tone. “Other than that. If we hadn’t been abducted, what were your plans after being released?”
“Prove my innocence.”
“What do you mean?”
The ease in his stride vanishes. “I was framed, Blakely.”
I jog to catch up so we’re walking beside each other. “Holy shit, that’s terrible.”
“Wasn’t that in my file? Didn’t they tell you about my pathetic attempts to get a retrial? Fucking typical.” His voice drips with cutting sarcasm.
A tremble skitters along my chest from his confession. “I didn’t read your case notes. How did they do it?”
Halder glances at me from the corner of his eye. “You believe me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m a convicted felon.”
“Wrongly accused,” I amend.
“I’ll admit that your amount of faith in me is surprising. Unless you’re just bullshitting with me. I wouldn’t blame you.” He bumps my shoulder with his shrug.
“That trust from yesterday still stands. Even more so now. What do you think my job is at Streebston?”
“Social worker.” He states that like a proven fact. I get a tiny thrill at knowing he pays attention.
“More specifically,” I prod.
“Provide community resources?”
“For those needing them, sure. Mostly I’m there to provide counseling and other mental health services. I also collaborate with lawyers and parole officers. Sometimes a person just needs someone to listen and offer support. There are countless lists of men who’ve been sentenced for crimes they didn’t commit. It sounds like you’re one of them. Did you ever get to plead your side?”
Halder shoves his fists deep into the pockets of his coat. “In court, sure. I told my lawyer at every opportunity. But the evidence was ironclad. I was at the wrong place at the worst possible time. The raid was planned, and they caught me at the scene. It was easy enough to pin me with several counts of drug and money laundering charges. Could’ve been worse since I’d actually been working for them and carried plenty of secrets. These people are criminals, and not the stupid kind. They have the means to make people disappear, caged behind bars or in a shallow grave.”
My stomach is a riot of twists and acidic clumps. The early assumption I had about him being a mobster is coming back to haunt me. “What jobs did you do for them?”
“It was all computer based. I ran some of their accounting and other books. Building security through technical devices. Software improvements. Totally innocent, right?” He scoffs and rolls his eyes.
“I’m sure you didn’t sign on to be employed by the bad guys. The Halder I’ve come to know sure doesn’t seem like the type.” I paste a smile on my lips for good measure.
“That blind trust you’re giving me is sexy as fuck, Blakely. I appreciate it. A lot.”
A shiver wreaks havoc on my entire body. The blanket of prickling goosebumps follows in its electric path. “Good, because I’ll keep giving it. I have no reason to quit.”
“And I won’t give you one. Why’d you think I was in prison?”
I kick at a rock in my direct trail. “I had no idea. A Ponzi scheme? Crooked stock trading? Embezzling money?”
“White collar? Too kind for what they stuck me with.”
A surge of air leaves me. His history is far more complicated than I gave him credit for. Another question waits on my tongue, but a distinct sound steals the show. Halder pauses, and I follow suit. We simultaneously turn toward the noise. The telltale flow can’t be mistaken.
I find myself asking for clarification regardless. “Is that—?”
“Running water,” Halder finishes for me.
Survival tip #12: The right tools can make or break a situation.
When the trickling notes first hit my ears, I figured it was just background static. Then the dripping gurgle turned into a constant stream and denying the obvious became more difficult. Out here, anything can be used against us. A mirage in the frigid tundra isn’t unheard of. Could we actually be catching a break?
Blakely’s broken exhale momentarily snags my focus. She’s my ultimate distraction. “Are you sure?”
“Almost positive, but the proof is that way.” I point toward the babbling rush of what must be a river. It damn well better be, after ratcheting our hopes to this level.
“This is surreal. Am I dreaming? Please say no.” Her baby blues have a shiny gleam.
I shake my head. “Should I pinch you?”
When she leans toward me, I grasp the puffy fabric of her jacket. She giggles and presses two fingers over her smiling lips. “I was almost convinced this was a deserted wasteland of snow and trees.”
“Don’t jinx us.”
She wrinkles her nose at me. “I didn’t. There’s wa
ter nearby.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What else is there to worry about at this very moment?”
“There are plenty of other living things who call these woods home.”
Her gaze bounces around our direct vicinity. “Shouldn’t they be hibernating?”
I grunt and scrub over my mouth. “That’d be convenient. Bears, maybe. I guarantee we’ll cross paths with wolves and moose.”
“Moose are so cute.”
“And deadly dangerous.”
A single brow arches my way. “Isn’t that a myth?”
“Afraid not. They’re very territorial, and we just so happen to be stomping all over their yard.”
“Will they attack us?”
“Not unless we appear threatening.”
Blakely gestures down her body. “I’m the least likely candidate to look intimidating.”
“Size isn’t everything.”
“That is most definitely not what she said,” she mutters under her breath.
I fold my arms and pin her with a glare. “I heard that.”
She pats my chest. “Oh, trust me. You’ve got nothing to worry about, big guy.”
And with that, my ego doubles. This girl could easily have me wrapped around her pinky with a few whispered words. She’s sinking deeper beneath my usually thick skin with each passing beat.
My richest reward. My greatest weakness. My likely downfall.
I clear my throat, turning to stare at nothing in particular. “Want to scope out the water situation?”
She bounces on the tips of her boots. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I take a liberty she didn’t grant me by reaching for her hand. Blakely doesn’t resist, allowing me to guide her in this new direction. She isn’t weak or incapable, and I’d never treat her as such. But something about being able to offer refuge in this chaotic storm drives me. If I have the option to guard her from harm, or make the load lighter, there won’t be the slightest hesitation. She could always refuse, and I would willingly accept that.