Where I End

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Where I End Page 9

by Michelle Dare


  "You have to go. If Everett sees you..."

  "I'm not going anywhere. He can't hurt you anymore." I've never wanted to inflict pain on someone as badly as I want to hurt Everett. That man doesn't deserve to be out in public after what he did to Cy. He should be behind bars. I know it's not for me to decide, that's completely up to Cy, given he is no longer a minor, but if he ever wanted to press charges, I'd be right there beside him.

  "Everett, no. Let her go! You don't need her!"

  "Cy, you have to wake up." I'm pushing on his shoulder now, hating the sheer anguish in his voice.

  He sits up abruptly, causing me to lean away; his head whips from side to side to look around the room. He throws the blankets off and stands.

  "Cy," I say gently. "You're okay. You're not in your bedroom. You're in mine."

  He stops and turns toward me. "Evie?"

  "Yes, I'm here."

  Placing his head in his hands, he lets out a muffled cry. I quickly stand and go to his side. My arms wrap around him to hold him through his pain.

  "He was there with us. He...he started touching you."

  "He's not going to get me."

  "I couldn't protect you. He had me tied to the bed."

  "I wish I had been there all those years ago. I wish I could have helped you."

  He lifts his head. My hand goes to his cheek to wipe away his tears. "Come back to bed."

  "No, I can't sleep again after that. It felt too real."

  I nod and look over at the clock on the nightstand: seven in the morning. Thank God, it's Sunday, and I don't have to go to work.

  "I have an idea,” I say. “Are you up for leaving the apartment?"

  "Do I have to see anyone?"

  "No, it will be just us."

  "Okay."

  Maybe getting out of here and getting some fresh air will do us good. I rummage through my dresser for a pair of shorts and a tank top. I change quickly and give Cy a new toothbrush to use. We take his truck since it will be better for where I want to go than my car. Before we reach our destination, I have Cy stop at the café so I can pick up coffee and danishes for us.

  We drive for about fifteen minutes until I direct him to turn onto a dirt road. It winds back through the woods and then it opens to a small clearing. No other cars today. I'm very thankful for that.

  Cy takes his coffee, then I grab mine and the bag of danishes. He knows where we are but hasn't said anything since we left my apartment. After parking, we walk on a small dirt footpath with trees towering overhead until the sound of rushing water reaches our ears.

  There are many trails that wrap around various parts of the falls our town is named after. Some have paths where the brush has been cleared and wooden planks have been laid down. Some have railings, which cross over the river; others wind through the woods on dirt paths to do more hiking. We are taking the path only the locals know about. The one hidden from the public, unless they stumble upon it.

  We cut to the left and start down a small hill toward the river. We are forced to duck under low branches and step over fallen trees, but eventually we reach the spot I was aiming for.

  Below the elevated, wooden bridge, upstream of the falls, is a small space where you can sit on large rocks right at the river's edge. The falls can be seen in the distance; the whooshing sound of the water as it cascades down to the river below, calms me. I thought it would be a good spot to take Cy. We take seats next to each other on a rock and I hold out a danish to him.

  "I'm not hungry," he says.

  "You should eat something. Just a few bites. Please."

  He takes the danish from me, his fingers brushing over mine as he does. It sends a shiver up my spine. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice low.

  "For what?"

  "For showing up at your apartment unannounced. For pushing you away. For breaking down in front of you. And for you having to wake me out of a nightmare."

  I turn to face him. He's watching the river as it flows past us; the water rippling as it goes over a few rocks. "You don't have to apologize for any of that. I'm only sorry I wasn't there when you first showed up."

  "What about Finn?" he asks.

  "What about him?"

  "Are you going to see him again?"

  I shrug. "That depends on you."

  He finally turns to me, his eyes so light they could be crystals. "I don't want anything I do to impact you."

  "It's too late for that. You've had an impact on me from the first day we met. Positive or negative, here we are."

  "I want you to date Finn."

  "You don’t mean that."

  "I do. Evie, I'm no good. I'll just keep dragging you down with me. He's a good guy. He'll treat you well."

  "And you'd treat me like shit?" I counter.

  He stands abruptly, tossing the remainder of his danish down on the rock at his feet. He jumps down to the grass and starts walking into the forest. I quickly follow, running behind him until I reach for his arm and pull him to a stop.

  "You don't get to keep walking away from me," I tell him. "At some point, I'm going to stop chasing you." In truth, I will stop chasing him, but I doubt I'll ever stop caring for him. There's only so much I can take, though. I will always be here for him, but I can't keep charging after him when he clearly wants to get away from me.

  He whirls around. Anger and hurt evident on his face and in his tone. "Good! Maybe that's exactly what you need to do!"

  "Stop it! Stop trying to destroy whatever this is between us before it even has a chance to start."

  "I still can't wrap my head around why you want anything to do with me, Evie! I'm a fucking catastrophe.”

  "You're my catastrophe."

  I wrap my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him down to my lips. It's my turn to take control and kiss him. Our tongues touch, and my body heats with a fire. His hands drift down to my hips to hold me in place as he steps closer, causing our bodies to touch from our shoes to our lips. I love having him this close: the taste of tart cherries on his tongue from the danish, the sound of the falls at my back. His hands rise up my sides until he reaches my breasts. His thumbs skate over my nipples as I arch into his touch.

  His hands remain in place, but he releases my lips. Our foreheads rest on one another. "You called me yours," he whispers.

  "I did." I said it in the heat of the moment. Although, somewhere in the back of my mind, I wish it were true.

  His eyes close as his fingers move to my hips and hold me tight. "Did you mean it? I need to know, Evie. Once you answer this question, there's no going back, so you better think about what you say."

  I know my answer. What about him, though? "Will you keep running from me? Will you keep brushing me off every chance you get, acting like there's nothing between us?"

  "You go first."

  This could be a colossal mistake, or the first step in creating something amazing between us. "I meant it. Ever since that moment at your house, nothing has been the same. I can't stop thinking about you and wondering what it could be like if we were together."

  "What about high school?"

  "What happened in our pasts can't be changed. What matters now is how we treat each other going forward. I don't want anyone else, Cy."

  "God, Evie." He presses his lips to mine again, but this time it's slow. We take our time kissing and showing each other how we feel with only our lips and tongues.

  I pull back. "You didn't answer my questions."

  He hugs me tightly against him. "I'm done running, but you'll have to be patient with me. I've never been with just one person. Plus, I'm still dealing with all my other shit."

  "We can take it as slow as you want."

  "I don't want to take it slow. I want to claim you right now. I want to run my hands over every inch of your body and commit each curve to memory. I want to feel you come apart while I'm buried deep inside you." Each word he says makes my body grow warmer. I want him badly.

  "Cy..."

 
"The intensity of what I feel for you scares me. I've never felt like this for anyone. Only you, Evie."

  I pull back to look in his eyes. "No more running."

  "No more dating Finn," he growls his name.

  I laugh. "Agreed. So, does this mean I'm your girlfriend?"

  "I guess so. You're mine, and I'm yours. No dating anyone else."

  "No fucking anyone else."

  "Hell, no. I couldn't even stand for Parker to have dinner with you, let alone the thought of you in bed with another man."

  "I'd hurt a bitch if she put her hands on you. I'm just warning you. I'm territorial."

  "Baby, you haven’t seen territorial yet." I laugh.

  We kiss again before heading back to the rock to pick up our discarded danishes and finish our coffee. The ride back to my apartment is quiet. Butterflies flutter in my stomach thinking about Cy as my boyfriend. I've never had a real boyfriend. Sure, I've dated and had fun but nothing long-term. No one I would even think about introducing to my parents. Although, they are in Florida, so they wouldn't meet anyone unless they came up to visit.

  Cy cuts the engine of his truck once we are back at my apartment. I don't think either of us knows what to say or do. It's all so new between us.

  "I don't know how to do this," he admits, mirroring my thoughts.

  "I don't either."

  "I'm not going to be your average boyfriend, Evie. I'm fucked in the head and have a lot of shit to wade through. I want to treat you right, but I'm sure I'll fuck up, too. It's not going to be easy dealing with me."

  "I'm not looking for royal treatment. Just go with your gut. That's what I'm going to do. Don't worry about what's conventional. We do what feels right, and fuck everything else."

  "Last chance. Are you sure you want to be with me?"

  "Absolutely." I smile.

  "Then give me that gorgeous mouth of yours."

  Twelve

  Cy

  I dropped Evie off at home and told her I'd be back later. I need a shower and a fresh set of clothes. I’m still in shock about the fact I have a girlfriend. A fucking girlfriend. I never thought the day would come when I would have someone who was my own. Someone I'd want to be mine, too. Not a one-night fuck but an actual relationship. I also never thought it would be Evie. Her heart is bigger than anyone’s I know. To be able to forgive me for four years of torment, and go on to say she wants to protect me and stand by my side baffles me. I should be the one watching out for her, not the other way around, and that's exactly what I intend to do. Evie is mine and as mine, I'll always be there for her.

  Pulling up to the cabin, I shut my truck off and go inside. Parker is in the kitchen making himself lunch.

  "Sandwich?" he asks, holding one up.

  "Sure." I've only eaten half a danish in the last eighteen hours. I need food.

  "You doing okay? You didn't come home last night."

  I smile a huge fucking smile. "I'm doing great."

  "Look at you all happy. You must have found some hot woman last night and had a hell of a time." He hands me the sandwich and starts to make another one.

  I take a few bites to appease my stomach. "Hot woman, yes, and last night sucked, but this morning was great."

  "Okay, I'm going to need a few more details."

  "Something happened last night, and it fucked me up big time, so I left. I had to get out of here, and didn't know where I was going until I ended up there."

  "Eve's." It's not a question. He knows I would go to her. There’s nowhere else. No one I’d trust outside of Parker and her.

  I nod. "When I got there, she wasn't home, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. After about an hour of me sitting on the stairs in front of her door, I heard her. She wasn't alone. Her date was walking with her to her door."

  He raises his eyebrows. "Her date? I didn't know she was dating anyone." Parker and Evie have been talking a lot. They've become close.

  "Finn Bradley."

  "No! Finn Fucking Bradley. I haven't seen him in months."

  "Me, neither." I take another bite of the sandwich and find a glass to get some water. "Anyway, Evie trips as she's walking up the stairs and I catch her. She must have seen something on my face, because next thing I know, I'm in her apartment with the door shut while she gets rid of Finn."

  "Poor Finn. He didn't stand a chance."

  "You don't know that."

  "C'mon, Cy. There is no competing with you. Not in Eve's eyes. It's you she wants. She’s always asking me about you, wanting to make sure you are doing okay." He never told me that.

  "I didn't know."

  "No, I did that on purpose. You didn't need her in your head more than she already was. After what happened that night when I was having dinner with her, and you showed up, I didn't like seeing you upset. You needed to get your head on straight after seeing her. Me talking about her all the time wouldn't have helped you.”

  “We’re dating.”

  He smiles wide. “Look at how far you've come in six weeks. You're with Eve, for fuck's sake."

  "How far I've come? I'm still a fucking mess. I could be making a huge mistake by being with her, but I can't stay away anymore. If last night taught me anything, it's that I need her. I'm done pushing her away. She knows I'm fucked up, and she still wants me. I have no fucking clue why."

  "Because she cares about you, douchebag. She sees something special in you, and no matter how many times she tried to get you out of her head, she couldn't. Same with you."

  "Then why the hell did she go out with Finn?"

  "Six weeks, Cy. You couldn't expect her to sit around forever. She is smoking hot, even if she doesn't realize it. Someone was bound to ask her out." I give him a hard look. He holds up his hands. "I have zero interest in her, outside of being her friend. Chill, dude."

  "I know." I rake my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry. I get fucking crazy where she's concerned."

  He feigns shock. "No!"

  "Fuck you." I throw the last bit of my sandwich across the kitchen at him.

  "Okay, go back to your story. We drifted off course."

  "Right, so I crashed in her bed, but nothing happened. Well, we talked, we slept, and I had a nightmare, but she was in it this time." Parker is the only other person to know of my nightmares, outside of my doctors. I normally wouldn't have told him, but he's had the unfortunate task of waking me on multiple occasions, now that I live with him.

  "Shit. I'm sorry."

  "Yeah, so she woke me up, and then we left. We took my truck out to the falls and sat there to talk. One thing led to another and..."

  "You fucked her in the river?"

  "What? No! We talked, and I’m now in a committed relationship with her."

  "Get the fuck out! You have a girlfriend?" I nod. "Holy hell, I never thought I’d see the day." He walks out to the deck, leaving the door open behind him. He cups his hands around his mouth and yells, "Look out world! Cy Revere has a girlfriend! Hell has officially begun to freeze over!"

  "Would you get back in here, asshole?"

  He comes inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Parker's hand claps me on the shoulder. "I'm happy for you. Truly. It's time you've had some good in your life. I'm just glad it's Eve."

  "Thanks. I'm scared as hell, but for the first time since I left my mom's, I feel like there's hope for me."

  "Of course, there is. You're a good guy, Cy. You wouldn't be my best friend if you weren't."

  "I'm not a good guy."

  He points at me. "Don't start with that bullshit that happened in high school. Eve's moved past it, it's time you do, too."

  "I know. I'm trying." That’s a lie. I'm not. There's no way I could ever forget how I treated her, but from this day forward, I will only treat her with the utmost respect.

  "Are you seeing her again today?"

  "Yeah. I came home to shower and change."

  "Have her come over for dinner. I'll cook." I raise an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I won't cook, but someone wil
l. I'll order us the good takeout. Then I'll split, and you two can have the house to yourselves for the night."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Fuck, yeah. There's a hot redhead out there waiting for me."

  "Who is she?"

  "I have no clue, but I'll know her when I see her." He winks. I shake my head and pull out my phone to text Evie about dinner.

  ****

  I told Evie I'd pick her up. She protested and said she could drive over, but I insisted. I'm trying to be a good man for her and part of that is picking her up for dinner. Is it a date? I have no clue since I've never really dated. We're having dinner with Parker. I don't think that constitutes as a date. Fuck if I know, though.

  Pulling into a spot at her apartment complex, I glance over and notice a black Mercedes coupe next to me. No one who lives here drives a car that nice, which leads me to only one person. Finn. I haven't seen Evie since this morning. How long has he been here, and does he have some fucking radar that lets him know when she’s alone?

  I take the steps two at a time, wanting to get to her door as fast as possible. She wants to be with me, that much I’m sure of, but I can't help the jealousy racing through me. I don't knock when I reach the door; I turn the knob and push it open. Evie and Finn are hugging. They pull apart when the door bounces off the wall. I may have pushed it too hard.

  My breath is coming fast, and I'm trying my best to rein in my temper. Seeing Finn's arms around her isn't helping. I walk to them and grip her arm to pull her away from him.

  "Cy, what the hell?" she asks, as she stumbles to my side.

  Finn, however, knows damn well what I'm heated over. "Nice to see you again."

  "I'd say the same, but it would be a lie," I respond and take a step closer to him, keeping Evie at my back.

  "I know you're with her. She told me a little bit ago. We were hugging goodbye."

  I take another step, leaving us less than a foot apart. "You can go now."

  "I don't think I will. Not until you calm yourself, at least." He's as tall as me, but I'm wider than him––more muscular.

  "I would never hurt her," I seethe.

  He cocks an eyebrow. "Never? That's rich coming from the guy who spent four years making it his personal mission to make her life miserable."

 

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