Where I End

by Michelle Dare

  With the knife no longer to her throat, I kick my leg out, sweeping his legs out from underneath him. He lands on the floor with a hard thud. Evie scrambles away, trying to pull up her pants as she goes. This motherfucker tried to take her from me. He tried to take my whole fucking world away. Now, he's going to pay.

  The knife is still in his hand, but I stomp my foot down hard on his wrist. He screams out in pain and drops the knife. Swooping down, I pick it up in a matter of seconds and am straddling his waist, his arms pinned to his side by my legs. I hold the knife to his throat and watch as blood starts to seep from where I cut him slowly. I could care less if I kill him. The level of rage flowing through my body is nothing like I've ever felt.

  He's still naked from the waist down and I feel him try to flex his hips up. My eyes go wide. He's hard and now he's trying to get me again, but this time it's in front of Evie. I go stone still. The knife in my hand is drawing more blood from him, but I can no longer move. I may be clothed, but he still makes my body tense when he’s near, and he’s too fucking close right now.

  "You think you're going to kill me? You don't have the balls to do it. They aren't big enough to finish me off, and I would know." He snickers and flexes his hips again.

  Then I hear Evie at my back. I don't turn around, not wanting to take my eyes off Everett for fear he'll somehow get out from underneath me. "Not on my watch, asshole,” she angrily says behind me.

  His body jerks beneath me as I hear a solid thump. Everett's face twists in pain. She must have kicked him in the balls. Evie gets down on the ground beside me and grips his jaw in her hand. "If your sad looking dick ever comes near Cy or me again, I'm going to cut it off myself." Then she releases him, forms a fist, and punches him in his nose. An audible crunch is heard as the bones break. Blood starts pouring from him.

  She looks at me. "Are you okay?" This woman is asking me if I'm okay when he almost raped her. God, I love her.

  "Are you?"

  "I will be once he’s handcuffed and they haul his ass off to jail."

  Sirens can be heard in the distance getting closer. "When did you call?"

  Her voice shakes while she speaks this time. "When I was zipping my jeans." Her eyes hold mine while I keep Everett pinned below me. "You don't have to tell them anything about what happened in the past," she says. "What he did tonight is enough to lock him up at least for a little while. He attempted to rape and kill me."

  When everything happened, and Evie saw me on the ground outside my house with a gun pressed to my head, I was adamant about not wanting anyone to know what happened to me all those years ago. I felt ashamed and didn't want anyone who used to follow me around in high school to know what was going on with me at home. But now...now everything has changed. I no longer give a fuck what people think. The only one who matters is Evie. She knows me. She’s seen me breakdown in the middle of a nightmare and freeze while my stepfather attempted to rape her. She knows the bad parts of me and sees the good. She’s with me, despite all my faults and how fucked up I am.

  "I'm going to tell them," I state.

  "Are you sure?"

  "He's not going to say shit," Everett spits out. "He's as much of a pussy as he always was." Evie pulls back to hit him again, but I grip her elbow to stop her. Then I lift my fist and crack him across the face.

  "I'm done talking to you, you piece of shit. You've ruined my life for too long. You're going to jail. I'm going to hire the best attorney in the country and make sure you don't see the outside of a prison cell for a long ass time." He opens his mouth like he's about to speak again but that's when the police burst through the door and take in the scene before them.

  Not understanding what's going on, they tell me to drop the knife and raise my hands. I do so without hesitation. Luckily, one of the cops is Jim, and he escorts me off to the side while the others lift Everett from the floor. I turn away when I see his naked waist. I hear rustling and know they are putting his pants back on him. Evie quickly gives them a rundown of what happened, and Everett is cuffed and hauled off to their car.

  I tell Jim, "There are additional charges I need to file."

  "Can you come down to the station and we'll take your statement, then Eve's?" I nod as she stops by my side.

  We walk out of Eve's apartment, while her neighbors peer through their windows at us. It's not every day this kind of thing happens in Arrow Falls. As a matter of fact, crime in this town is nearly nonexistent. It makes me wonder what else goes on behind closed doors no one knows about.

  Down at the police station, which resembles a building the size of the local burger joint, we sit in a room with cameras mounted on the ceiling and a two-way mirror. Jim asks if I want Evie to leave while I give my statement. For a moment, I hesitate. Do I want her to hear the gruesome details of what happened when Everett abused me? She’s heard some but not all of it. Does she want to know what took place behind closed doors? Her answer is in her eyes. Not a yes, but they tell me no matter what is said, she will still be here for me. Yet, I ask her anyway.

  "Once you hear this, there's no going back,” I tell her.

  "I’ll stand by your side, regardless of what happened or happens. There's nothing you can say to drive me away. I'm here for good."

  I nod and face Jim. Over the next couple hours, I lay everything out on the table: years of sexual and mental abuse. I tell him how I begged my mother to listen to me, over and over again, only to be told I was lying and Everett would never do those things. I show him the scar on my arm. I pour out memory after memory, down to the day it all came to a head and I tried to kill myself. I tell him how Evie saved my life and how without her, I wouldn't have found the will to go on. She showed me true compassion and how far someone would go for another person. How persistent she was when I tried to push her away. Then I skipped to seeing my mom in the parking lot the day of her accident. I tell him about the attorney and how my mom cut Everett out of the will.

  Then Evie takes over. She gives an account of what happened at her apartment. Even though he was about to rape her, she remembered everything with vivid detail.

  As I listen to her, red-hot fury heats my veins, followed by cold shame at not intervening sooner. I should have lunged for him earlier. It should never have gotten to the point it had.

  Somehow as the shame was taking over, Evie turned to me and cupped my cheek. Her thumb caressed over my facial hair, her eyes so full of love. She knew what I was thinking somehow. She got it. She understood what happened with me. And she didn't breathe a word of that to Jim. She only told him how I saved her before he could rape her. I don't deserve her accolades. If anything, I was late to react. It's something I will always regret. At least I was able to stop him in time. That's the only saving grace.

  She did tell Jim about Everett threatening to rape me as well. That part was hard to listen to, but it needed to be said. If I wanted Everett to spend the rest of his life behind bars, every incriminating act had to be revealed.

  We stood once we were done and I glanced up at the cameras. All my pain and suffering was now documented at the Arrow Falls Police Department. The incident at Evie's would make the paper. The formal charges against Everett would be filed. I needed to hire an attorney. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd find the best one money could buy. Soon the whole town would know what happened to me. The thought doesn’t scare me as it once had. It won’t if I have Evie by my side.

  Twenty-One

  Eve

  I've used a lot of words to describe Cy Revere since I first met him my first year of high school. A lot were bad. More recently, they were all good. Today, I add brave to them. I've never seen someone so brave in all my life. What he did today was more than I can fathom. He saved me. He doesn't think he did. I could see it clear as day by the way his jaw clenched and his hand balled into a fist. When he heard me tell Jim he saved me, it was clear he thought it wasn't good or fast enough.

  I saw the torment on his face when Everett was about to rap
e me. I saw how scared he was. Afraid his stepfather would do to me what he had done to Cy for all those years. But he pushed it all aside and saved me. Then he decided to press charges for the years of abuse he endured. Cy Revere is the bravest man I have ever known.

  We had ridden down to the police station in the back of Jim's cruiser. When we left the station, Parker was waiting for us. I’m not sure how he knew we were there. Neither of us called him and didn’t realize we had no way to get home until we were outside. We climbed into his SUV, thanking him for coming to pick us up. He let us know Jim called him. I tell him both of our cars are at my apartment.

  When we arrive, the three of us ascend the stairs to my apartment and find a locksmith already working on replacing the broken deadbolt and doorknob. Two locks Everett broke through. We both turn to Parker in question about how the locksmith got there so fast, but neither of us speaks. Parker shrugs one shoulder. When we were at the police station, he was having someone work on my door.

  The locksmith is done in a matter of minutes, then hands me three new keys. Sure, we probably should have waited for someone in the front office to replace the locks, but they can deal with it. Too much shit happened today, and I frankly don't give a fuck what they think. I'll drop off a new key to them in the morning, since they keep master keys to all our locks.

  Together, the three of us step inside. There is still blood on the floor from where Everett was lying. Instinctively, I reach up and touch the now bandaged spot on my neck. Jim insisted on calling one of our local nurses in to look at me. The nurse just so happened to be his wife. She cleaned me up and assured me stitches weren't needed. I might have a small scar, however. A reminder of the time I was attacked, and almost raped, by the man who abused the person I love with my whole heart. If it took today's incident to finally put Everett behind bars where he belongs, then so be it. It's a small price to pay.

  Parker steps in front of me with my bottle of kitchen cleaner with bleach in it. He sprays the light beige carpet, letting it sit to attempt to bleach the fibers of all color. "I'll replace your carpet," he states.

  "You don't have to do that," I quickly reply.

  He stands and places the bottle on the counter then wraps his arms around me. He holds out his arm to pull Cy in as well. "You two are my best friends. I love you like crazy. I wasn't here today when you both needed me. Let me replace the fucking carpet." I smile and Cy chuckles.

  "You got it, man," Cy says.

  "Eve," Parker addresses me as he pulls back from our group hug. "Pack your shit. You're not living here any longer. I'll have movers come by this week and pack your remaining stuff. Whatever furniture you don't want, we'll donate. But you aren't staying here. You two are welcome to live with me for as long as you want. Fuck, you could be old and grey and I'd still want to have you in my home. There will be a security system installed in the cabin tomorrow. No one fucks with my friends." His gesture floors me. It’s very kind of him. In truth, I spend most of my time there anyway. I don’t mind moving in with him and Cy.

  Cy has mentioned we should live together, but I never took him seriously. I guess now’s the time to make the leap. By the firm grip he’s had on my hand since we rode with Jim to the police station, I doubt he’s going to want to release me anytime soon.

  I wrap my arms around Parker and hug him tight. "I love you, Parker. Thank you." When I release him, I brush away the tears that have built in my eyes. I look from Parker to Cy. "I didn't know how much I missed having friends until you both reentered my life more permanently. Like Cy has said, you're my family and I love you both. Thank you for having my back and always being there. My life really was empty before you two." I realize that in the time I was trying to save Cy from the hell of a life he was living in, he, in return, saved me from a life without friends or family nearby. He created this safe space for me where I feel included and part of a group. Something I'd not felt in a very long time.

  Never having more than one piece of luggage, which is now full of dirty clothes, I throw my clothes to take with me into garbage bags. Cy steps beside me and starts doing the same. “Are you okay with me living with you and Parker?”

  He pauses his hand from pulling more clothes from my dresser and holds my eyes. “I want you with me, now and always. I’m happy Parker suggested it.” He did more than suggest, but I stay quiet and absorb the weight of Cy’s gaze. When he starts packing again, I go to the bathroom and grab my toiletries and other essential stuff I'll need.

  Even with the new lock and Everett behind bars, I won't feel safe alone again. I might have acted bravely at the end there when Everett was under Cy, but fuck, my heart was pounding in my chest. I was scared. I've never been close to being raped before. It's something I never want to experience again, nor the knife at my throat. My body is still lit like a live wire from all the adrenaline, which has been coursing through it today. I'm sure I'll eventually crash, but for now, I have the energy of ten people and no way to burn it off.

  The three of us load the bed of Cy's truck with all my stuff and lock the door of my apartment. We each drive our own vehicles to Parker's cabin.

  I step out of my car and look up at the cabin before me. Cy comes to my side and puts his arms around my waist. "Are you okay?" he asks, concern evident in his voice.

  "I'm really moving out of my apartment and living here. With you. We went from being boyfriend and girlfriend to now living together."

  "If that's not something you want, I can find another place to live. We can each have separate bedrooms until then."

  I turn to him and smooth over the lines between his eyebrows with my finger. My broken guy. He thinks I meant I didn't want to be here with him. "I want to live with you. I want to share a bed with you. Every night. I was only saying how things moved quickly, that's all. It's not bad. When it comes to us, we seem to move at the speed of light. We went from barely talking to being together. From nothing more than a look across a room to having sex. It's us and I love us. I love you."

  He takes my hand from his face and kisses my palm. "I love you, too. I don't want to be apart from you. Maybe next time you travel with Brenda, I can go with you."

  "I'd love that, although I don't know how much fun you'd have at a book signing." I smile.

  "If you're there, there’s no place I'd rather be." He leans down and kisses me gently.

  Parker comes back outside to grab another bag of my belongings. I wonder how many he's brought inside in the time Cy and I have been standing here. I glance around Cy and see the truck is nearly empty. Good Lord, how fast does he move?

  "I think Parker likes the idea of me living here."

  Cy looks over his shoulder and notices the near empty bed of his truck. "He's protective over you. You've made quite an impression on him."

  "Well, at least I have you both. More than I had a couple of months ago."

  "You never have to be alone again."

  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I press my cheek to his chest. "Neither do you." He inhales sharply at my words. Cy has Parker and me. No longer will he have to battle his demons alone. His nightmares will be met with two friends to help him out of them. His days will have us both by his side. The upcoming months are going to be hard on him, but we’ve got his back.

  Hand in hand, we go inside. Parker meets us in the hallway. "I've put your belongings in there," he says pointing to the room across from Cy’s. “I didn't know how you'd want to set up everything and there isn't exactly much room in his bedroom, with all of the computers and parts lying around. Plus, this way if you two fight, you have your own bed to go to." He smiles.

  Cy looks down at me. "No fight will keep us apart at night. She will always be in my bed." I can't contain the shiver, which rolls down my spine at the intensity of his words.

  "Okay. Well, I'm going to run out for a bit," Parker says. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." He winks before moving past us in the hallway.

  Cy pulls me into his room and shuts the door. Hi
s lips are immediately on mine; his hands find my waist and grip me tightly. My fingers reach the nape of his neck and hold him close, but then he abruptly pulls back.

  "Fuck. I'm sorry, Evie. I forgot."

  I cock my head to the side. "Forgot what?"

  "All the shit that happened today. You were almost...and he had a knife to your...fuck, I shouldn't be touching you right now."

  "He didn't do anything more than give me a cut on my neck and scare me. You had stopped him before anything more happened."

  He steps away from me and starts to pace the length of the room, while running his hand through his hair. He stops and his eyes find mine, so full of regret. "I should have stopped him before he got as far as he did. He touched you, Evie. His fucking hands were on you. Were on what's mine,” he says, pounding his chest over his heart. “He was too close to you."

  I open my mouth to respond, but he takes my hand in his and pulls me to the bathroom. Once inside, he shuts the door and turns on the shower. His hands quickly rid me of my clothing, then his. I don't speak. He's a man on a mission. It's not until I'm in the shower, with his hands soaping every inch of me, that I realize he's trying to wash Everett off me. His hands move over my skin with precision. Each touch is with a purpose and not sexual in the least.

  I let him continue until I'm washed and rinsed from head to toe; then I still his hands on my stomach. He’s kneeling before me, water hitting his head and broad shoulders, cascading down his chest and stomach. "Cy, stop. I'm clean."

  He bows his head, his hair falling forward. I drop down in front of him and lift his chin. His eyes are red like he’s been fighting tears.

  "I'm okay.”

  "I'm sorry, Evie. I'm so fucking sorry. I brought this hell upon you. By being with you, I led Everett right to your door. He was after me, not you. He threatened your life because of me."