by Lilly Cain
She growled a bit and he laughed.
“Come on.” He stood and tucked his phone away into his jeans pocket.
She followed him out into the parking lot and into the SUV. This was probably a bad idea, taking him with her to the woods. What if there were other wolves nearby? The ones who sometimes ran on two feet, the ruva, the ones who hated her for being cursed.
Worse, in a way, he hadn’t seen her really change. Not all of it. Not directly. He hadn’t liked the thought of her eating mice and rabbits, what would he think when he actually saw her go through the change? Become an animal? No way she could force it to go quickly tonight, the full moon was two days past, so she had to let the change take its own pace. If he came with her, he’d see it all.
She headed for the driver’s side. “Maybe I should go by myself.”
She opened the door only to have him shut it on her. “You aren’t leaving me behind again. I can protect myself. And what if they come while you change? We’ve been through this before. It’s safer for me to be with you.”
Twilight was almost past and there were a few people in the parking lot. Not a lot but Helen felt eyes on her. “Fine. But I’m driving.” She held out her hand for the keys but he shook his head and went around to the passenger side and climbed in. Smart man. She would have driven off without him if she could. She climbed into the black SUV. It really needed a wash. If she were home she’d never let it get dirty like it was now.
Yet another inane thought. Like a dirty car was important. Truthfully, she didn’t even miss her apartment or her life all that much. Maybe her heels. Sneakers and boots were getting old. So were jeans and ponytails. She climbed into the car and held out her hand for the keys. He passed them over and she couldn’t resist sticking her tongue out at him.
He grinned. “See? Not so hard to let me in. And you can put that tongue to excellent use tonight.”
She laughed. Laughing was easy with him. So was thinking about putting her tongue to use, and letting him use his. He leaned over and kissed her. It would be a short run tonight. Just enough to let her wolf relax.
They reached the edge of town pretty quickly, but it was difficult to find a place where they wouldn’t be disturbed. Single houses and farms were spaced just far enough apart they couldn’t risk stopping, so they drove for nearly an hour before the found a thicker set of woods.
She pulled into what looked like an old hunting or maybe logging road and parked out of sight of the road. For a moment, she sat and gripped the steering wheel. Finally, she glanced at him. David watched her calmly.
“I don’t want you to see me change.”
“Why not? I’ve already seen it once.”
He reached for her but she flinched and he stopped. She climbed out of the SUV and he followed suit, then walked over to her side of the vehicle.
“You saw some of it. I was under a blanket. And I forced it so it was fast.”
He crossed his arms. “I want to see it.” He set his jaw and she sighed. Her stomach hurt. Maybe she was going to end up with an ulcer.
“It’s bad, David.”
“I can imagine.” He reached for her again. She let him rub her arm and then pull her in for a hug.
Her heart pounded as she leaned into his embrace. When had what he thought and felt come to mean so much to her? He could be repulsed by her change. He would be. It was a brutal thing, and while it had become something she no longer feared, it was painful, and ugly.
He unzipped her light jacket and pulled it gently from her shoulders. Slowly, he pulled her long-sleeved T over her head. She hadn’t bothered with a bra. She let him guide her and undress her and savored the touch of his fingers as they glided over her skin. Would he want to do this after he’d really seen what happened under the curse?
She stepped out of her boots and pressed her toes into the earth, trying to feel the sense of grounding this action always brought, but she couldn’t find her balance, could only focus on his nearness, his scent and his heat. The sounds of the forest, the smells, nothing registered except him. She stepped out of her jeans with his guidance, and finally out of her underwear.
She looked at the ground. The pressure to change throbbed slowly inside her. He lifted her chin with his fingers and laid his lips gently against hers. Soft and warm, he caressed her. Would this be their last kiss?
The call beckoned and she couldn’t hold it off any longer. He wanted to know what it was like for her to change. Now he was going to see it.
13
Helen stepped away from him. For a second he fought the urge to hold on. Her reluctance to shift forms in front of him had dread curdling his belly. Shit. It was going to be bad.
She let out a low moan and turned to face the moon. Her hands were already changing, the nails black and long. Her body writhed and he fought not to go to her as her moan wavered between the one she made when they were in bed to one he knew marked pain. The fact that it slid back to pleasure wasn’t lost on him, but then she fell to the ground. Grinding, crunching sounds took his attention and he fell to his knees as he realized that the noises were her bones breaking and changing length. Her face twisted and the glint of fangs caught the pale moonlight.
Her forehead compressed and her nose and jaw elongated into a muzzle. Claws dug into the earth as she growled and groaned and she shook, trembled violently as a tail erupted, skin and bone forming where there had been none. She lifted her head and uttered a howl. Her hair shifted, not disappearing but whitening and blending deeper and deeper into the fur that sprouted everywhere on her body.
There was no blood. There should have been and the thought wouldn’t leave him. With this much agony there should be blood. He sat hard on the dirt beside the car. Her howl turned triumphant and she sang to the moon for a long moment. Then she shook all over and turned to him.
Only her eyes were the same. He’d seen that before, when she was a wolf at the cabin. Her beautiful golden eyes couldn’t be mistaken, not by him, for anything other than intelligent and present. She was in there. She took a few tentative steps toward him, and he lifted a shaking hand out to touch her.
She let him stroke her once. Then she was off, running through the woods. He didn’t move. Very slowly, he leaned back against the front tire of the SUV. “Fuck.”
Maybe she’d been right not to let him see. His stomach churned. Not because what he’d seen was disgusting, but because for the first time he had really experienced the magic of the moment. And her pain. My God, the pain. He tilted his head back and looked at the moon. Shifting wasn’t some late night TV show. This was real, and it put Helen in agony, and in danger. No wonder she was desperate to stop it.
Gradually, he caught his breath and slowed his heartbeat. He stood and collected the shotgun from the back seat.
The forest talked to her. Not in words, but in the texture of dead leaves under her paws; the scent and taste of prey on the breeze; the sound of a night owl far enough away that she wasn’t concerned about it or other predators. That the owl was hunting meant there were no wolves among the trees but her. No other big animals either. She could enjoy the run, run for hours and hours before she grew tired and returned to her human form. The run, her human side admitted, was glorious.
At least she no longer feared the human side of herself, and the human no longer feared the wolf. And she had found them a suitable mate. They would take pleasure in him tonight and maybe there would be pups.
The wolf halted, somewhat disturbed by the pup idea. She welcomed it, yet did not. The silly human side wasn’t certain, but the wolf was. She would keep the mate. They would find a den and have pups. Simple as that.
Maybe she wouldn’t run so far tonight. Her mate had stayed back at the roadside. He wasn’t as strong as her, nor, she suspected, as ruthless. Though she hadn’t found any scents marking the territory, this was not their land. And she missed him. He should be running alongside her. There was satisfaction about that idea from both sides.
She
would just go a little farther and catch the mouse she could sense under a nearby bush, because, okay, she liked the crunchy little things. She ran on, hunted and snacked and howled. It might be a while until her wolf ran free again.
And that seemed a little sad for both of them.
The man, David, stood guarding their…den? Their car. The words weren’t as hard tonight, a surprise and an interesting point. Words were human but she remained a wolf. Standing in the shadows and watching her mate. She waited for him to notice her, but his eyes were weak human eyes and couldn’t see her in the darkness despite her light color.
She stepped out from the trees and walked toward him. He startled, but didn’t point his gun at her. He knew her. Unafraid of what he would see as she changed, at least not afraid in her wolf form, she began to work backward into her human skin. Since this was the way she had begun life, as human, it hurt less. But there were no surges of power to bring pleasure, either.
David watched it all. And when she was done, he was there to hand her the clothes she’d discarded earlier, folded neatly and warm from the car. What he didn’t do was offer her a hand up, or an embrace. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she realized he avoided touching her at all. She’d been so right. This would be the end of them. He’d seen the curse and couldn’t get past the physical reality of it.
If he left she would be lost. She did need him. She had to end the curse. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she turned away from him so he wouldn’t see it. She would lose the wolf or lose him.
* * *
Shit. She was crying. She was hiding it, but she was crying. The pain of her return from wolf form must have been even more painful than becoming the beautiful wild creature she’d shown him. What the hell was he supposed to do about her crying?
“Do you want some ibuprofen?”
She shook her head. Crap, he was an idiot. Like what the hell was ibuprofen going to do for broken and then magically healed bones? How long did the pain last? Why didn’t he ask her all this stuff before?
“I just want to go to the hotel room and lie down, please.”
He nodded, but she wasn’t looking at him. She stared out the window as she had on the drive after meeting Grandmother Eva, lost in thought. Why had the old lady asked if Helen was sure she wanted to get rid of the curse? Who would want it if it led to pain like he’d just seen? A tiny voice inside reminded him of what had seemed like pleasure at the beginning of the shift. That had to be wrong.
Going back didn’t take as long as going out to the woods. This time he knew where he was going. And if he sped, well, he was a little keyed up by the events of the night. Who could blame him? Soon enough they found their way back to the motel and he’d parked. She kept silent and simply climbed out of the SUV without a word. He followed, and they walked to the door. At least it was on the outside of the building and there was no need to cut through long hallways that could be full of people.
He put his hand on the knob, ready to key it open when she grabbed his hand. He glanced at her and froze. Her eyes were open wide and a snarl curled the corner of her mouth. “Get back. They’re here.”
The wolves. Did she mean the wolves who’d attacked her and tried to run them down were back and in their room? He didn’t wait but dashed back to the car and grabbed the shotgun from the back seat. He headed back but she held up a hand, cautioning him to stand back. She gripped the knob and twisted. He could hear a crack from the door even from where he stood as she broke the lock with a single hand.
The light from inside streamed out into the parking lot. Inside the place was completely trashed. The bed torn apart, the TV smashed, the mirrors and painting dangling in broken bits. Their clothes were strewn across the room, most shredded. But there was no sign of the wolves.
“They’re gone.” She stepped inside and took a closer look. Her nose wrinkled and even he could smell the strong scent of urine.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, but they sure left a message. I’d say it was ‘go away or else.’ Maybe with a bit of ‘we fucking hate you,’ thrown in,” he quipped and she rewarded him with a tiny smile.
“Okay.” He couldn’t deal with her tears, but he could handle this. He leaned the shotgun against the wall just inside the door. “You think you can look this mess over, see if there’s anything we can salvage? We still have the camping gear in the SUV. I’ll go and talk to the manager, complain how we were broken into and pay for the mess. No cops.”
“Fine.”
She looked like she was going to say something more and he waited, but she shook her head. He turned to leave.
“Wait.” She walked over to him and gave him a long, long kiss. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and looked back at the room. He stepped out and headed to the motel office.
* * *
David didn’t hear her when she followed him out of the room a few minutes later, and he was inside the office when she started the SUV with the spare keys she’d kept in the motel safe along with her purse, one of the few things not destroyed by the wolves. They’d yanked it from the wall and smashed it to the ground, denting it to the point where she had difficulty opening the lock, but she got what she needed.
The wolves could have killed them both if they had found them in the room, or killed David in the woods where she’d chosen to complete her change. And what would she have done with him dead? What would she have to live for? Nothing. No family, no friends and who cared about career. Jesus. All she wanted was him.
Her blood had run cold when she’d smelled them at the motel. Three big males, angry and spoiling for a fight. She’d been right. Just like everything she’d done over the years to prove her father wrong, to prove she was as strong as any man, she had to do this on her own. David couldn’t handle her change and he certainly couldn’t handle the kind of danger she brought to his door. And he shouldn’t have to.
She drove through the night, ignoring the constant buzz of her cell phone. Eventually, she just shut it off. Hopefully he’d take the hint and go home. Even if he somehow got a car in the tiny town she’d left him in, it would take him some time. She would have this resolved, one way or another, before then.
When she reached Blowing Rock, it was nearly ten in the morning. She parked on the side of the road just past the town sign and got out of the SUV. The power and magic in the ground surged up from what the grandmothers called the path. Unlike the weak tingle she’d felt before, the magic here roared, its rush untamed and wild. Google told her she stood on the edge of a series of wild National Parks and forests. The wolf, quiet until now and usually silent between moons, pushed to escape and run free.
She gasped for breath and held on to her control. She couldn’t change, not now when there were bound to be wolves nearby, ready to defend their territory. Not to mention Gypsy witches who threw curses. She needed to be able to use her words and convince these people to let her go. To release her from the spell. Then David would be safe and maybe he would be able to accept her again.
She climbed slowly back into the car. Once her feet were on the ground and the door was shut, the power became muted, reduced to a slight rushing sound in the back of her skull. She leaned forward against the steering wheel and shut her eyes. For a while, she focused on breathing. Eventually, she slept.
14
Helen awoke with a start. She didn’t really have time to decide what had woken her, or even how long she’d been asleep when her door was wrenched open and someone reached inside and grabbed her arm. She didn’t have her seatbelt on and they dragged her out of the vehicle despite the attempts she made to cling to the steering wheel and the door. The ground met her face with a sickening thud but she barely had time to accept that before a boot snapped into her side in a vicious kick.
Another kick followed the first, and another. She clawed at her attackers, grateful for the ease in which her wolf claws formed. She slashed a pant leg open and was rewar
ded with more kicks, enough to leave her writhing in pain on the ground, unable to fight any longer. When she stopped resisting someone grabbed her under the arms and dragged her upright. Vertigo forced her to her knees once again and she retched in the grass and spat blood.
Something cracked her in the back of the head. Despite the bright sunshine, her world went gray. Someone grabbed her wrist and they dragged her to a strange vehicle. The scent of the wolves surrounding her made her want to gag and she growled, only to be met with a backhand across the mouth.
Voices buzzed around her. “Should we take her to Grandmother?”
“Let’s just slit her throat and be done with her. That’s what she deserves. She’s disrupted the path for months.”
“No. You heard what Grandmother Donceanu said, if we kill her, her mulo will be powerful and haunt us.”
Muttered agreement made it clear that no one in the group wanted this. Helen did her best to breath shallowly. No need to draw attention to the fact that she was awake and listening.
“Ruv Danior will know what to do with her.”
Someone had the foresight to bring duct tape, and the sadistic bastards wrapped it liberally around her wrists behind her back and around her head, closing her mouth but also catching her hair. The pressed her face-first into the nasty seat covers in the back seat and threw a blanket over her. She did her best to breathe, but it grew more difficult when someone sat on her, laughing as she struggled to push them off.
“You shouldn’t have come here, little wolf. And where is your man? Did he run away when he saw how we marked your room?” The person on her back mocked her. This was not how she’d imagined meeting the Donceanu band, but it didn’t really surprise her that the vandals from last night were part of the family that cursed her. Were any of these the wolves that had crashed her work party months ago? Or tried to run her off the road?