The Real Folktale Blues (Beyond Ever After #1)

by Random Jordan

  “Then one day she told you, what? Hey, I can use magic to bring your dead wife back, how about it?”

  “Something like that.” He grinned then added, “I just had to give Gertrude to you.”

  “That doesn’t add up. I came because Gabbi was already alive.”

  He gave me a look like I was the idiot here. “She did it before you showed up.”

  “You idiot.” I mumbled and shook my head.

  “You would have done it too.” He said with such a placid expression.

  I slammed the blue prince against the dresser then ripped away from him, my head still shaking as my eyes drew to Ashe.

  “No, I wouldn’t have.” I lied, while crossing the room to slip the hat from my roommate’s head. I attempted a smile to comfort her, a soft one. Her hazel doe eyes beamed back at me with such watery sparkles like I had just saved her from being eaten by a wild beast.

  I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what.

  I half-turned back to Hue and tossed his hat to him. “Did you know your hat could be used to make a portal of some kind?”

  “Yes.”

  “What?”

  “You don’t remember?”

  “No.” I ground my teeth as I thought about it.

  “Oh.” He pulled his hat on his head. “I guess not.”

  I really hate when he does that. As if our conversations weren’t long enough already. I turned back to Ashe and saw her eyes still shimmering with color, which made my frustrations evaporate quickly.

  My hand slipped around her waist and I pulled her close. “Sorry.” I whispered at her ear.

  She smiled and lowered her head with a soft giggle from my breath over her ear. “It’s okay.”

  “Oh…Gnidori.” Hue said as I glanced over Ashe’s shoulder to look at him with my returned annoyance.

  I had to separate from Ashe completely to catch whatever was flying toward me. I didn’t even have to uncoil my fingers from around the object after I caught it to recognize the smell. A brimstone pendant sat in my palm. Pure magic crystallized with such a radiant golden color.

  “What’s this for?” My eyebrows rose as I looked up from it.

  “An early wedding present.” He stated so calmly.

  My face shot red and my entire body was burning up immediately. I couldn’t even face Ashe. At least until Hue started chuckling. Then I just had the urge to punch him again for teasing me.

  “It was in the crates. You have more use for it.” He shrugged it off and turned back to a collection of papers and a few maps on the desk in his chamber.

  “The crates?” I asked before remembering the cargo we had left behind from Bonny’s shipment. It had to be those ones, but what was this pendant doing in there?

  And were there more?

  Was this the reason that tower had been smelling of brimstone? Was this how Bonny could perform all that magic with such strength?

  I remembered an old legend somewhere that just like how dragons could breathe brimstone, they also shed brimstone as tears in a crystallized form. Was I holding a dragon tear?

  Worst of all was the thought that she had been shipping these around as a pirate, possibly selling pure brimstone to people who couldn’t use magic. The dangers of buying and selling magic to those that didn’t use it normally…

  I didn’t want to think about it.

  “Thanks, Hue. And stop making deals with dragon hunters.” I glared up at him.

  He grinned. “I promise no such thing.”

  I shook my head and turned away. Ashe drew in next to me, her arm wrapping around my waist to pull me close like I had to her. She looked like she was about to say something but Hue interrupted.

  “Oh, and Gnidori.”

  I groaned and looked over my shoulder. “What Hue?”

  “I tried getting the code revoked.”

  I turned my head back and stated plainly, “The North Faerie Queendom is the new territory under the sleeping curse. It might be a while.”

  He smiled and half-laughed. “I wonder how that happened…”

  I shrugged before Ashe took up my hand to drag me away. I guess she didn’t want to talk now.

  My eyes tossed away from Hue and toward Ashe with a half-smile over my lips. “I wonder…”

  Thirty-Four

  The Charming End

  The throne room was mostly empty when I arrived. When I say mostly, I mean it was filled with moaning and three people.

  I cleared my throat a few times at the entrance after pushing Ashe away so she wouldn’t see what was going on. She poked her head around the side anyway, and then blushed and hid behind the door when I saw her looking. I knew she would peek again in a second.

  The moaning didn’t stop until one of my hatchets hurled from my hand and flew in to the throne, between Charming and some dark-haired woman. He looked up to me along with the two women, who quickly covered up their naked bodies by throwing themselves behind the backing of the throne.

  “Uh… R—“

  “Gnidori.” I growled.

  “Right. Right. Could you give me a minute? Or you could join us. There is always room for more.”

  “Not even beyond the looking glass, Charming.”

  He stood up and I groaned before glancing away from the full frontal he offered. Of course he had no shame when it came to his body.

  “If you aren’t going to leave or join, then can we hurry this up?” He crossed his arms and I mirrored him, turning my head back to look him in the eye.

  “I was so close to believing you had changed. Seeing you with Goldie, and then Ashe telling me about the kind of leader you are. But here you are…” I sighed while leaning to the side and pulling an arm out to wave at the girls behind the throne room with a forced smile. “…with a couple of cute girls.”

  I heard Ashe huff behind me, which made me glance back but she didn’t hide her face behind the door. Instead she was glaring at me.

  I said something wrong, didn’t I?

  I sighed and reached back for her, pulling her next to me. I squeezed her hand and she nuzzled against my neck. I didn’t think she would get jealous from something so small. With feeling her next to me though, I think it was just because I had treated her like a child again by trying to keep her from seeing things kids shouldn’t.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” Charming continued with a big grin forming on his face after watching my exchange with Ashe.

  I pulled my hood down with my free hand and glared at him. “You sure seemed in love with Goldie. Given up on her now that she’s on another continent?”

  “What?” He glanced back at the girls, and then turned to look at me again. “Them? Gertrude knows about them. She knows about all my lovers.”

  “Really?” I said with winging eyebrows. “Then you won’t mind me asking Goldie right now?”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you can, then I wouldn’t see why not.” He waved me off. “Just hurry it up. You’ve already killed the mood.” He then slipped back in to the seat of his throne, crossing a leg over his knee.

  “Wonderful.” I grinned. I didn’t even need to unwind my hand from Ashe. I just lifted my fingers up and snapped while letting the surge of magic go. Ashe must have felt it escape me, since she shivered.

  “I’m afraid you have to be a Tsar like me to snap your fingers and have someone come running to your aid.” Charming laughed before reaching his hand behind the throne. One of the girls yelped immediately.

  He wasn’t paying attention at all after that, which would make this even more fun. A glimmering ball of light flew in from the entry way and swirled around in front of me as it grew in size. Finally the red light exploded out and left Goldie standing between Charming and I.

  The Tsar with a thousand lovers yanked his hand back and jumped from his chair. “Gertrude?”

  This was going to be good.

  Goldie glanced around the chamber before her eyes caught the two naked w
omen and Charming. Then she made my mouth drop open as she jumped against the Tsar’s chest, pulling him in to a hug and a kiss, which he returned.

  If it hadn’t been for Reynard jumping from Ashe’s shoulder to mine, I would have been staring the entire time their kiss lasted. Instead I stroked the fox that was rubbing against my neck. Ashe then smiled and pressed in against me to kiss the side of my lips. She certainly knew how to distract me; she probably even asked Reynard to jump on my shoulders too.

  When Goldie and Charming finally finished I asked immediately, “So I take it you knew about the women?”

  She glanced to me after turning to Charming’s side. “Women? There are women here? Around my Kay’s side?”

  I ground my teeth as she looked around sarcastically and continued, “Do you really think I’d try and keep this man to that kind of situation? We have an open relationship. Not that it even concerns you.”

  My jaw clenched and Ashe leaned forward to ask, “Open relationship?”

  “We have sex with other people, so long as the person is approved and it is only sex. Right, honey?” Goldie explained before looking up at Charming.

  “Exactly, sweetheart.” He smiled down to her with a gentle expression. “If I knew you were coming back then I wouldn’t have called them in.”

  Had Charming really changed?

  “That’s okay. I can think of a few uses they will be good for soon.” Goldie grinned.

  No, no he hadn’t. He just found the perfect match. And she called me the harlot!

  “Oh-kay… stopping this before I have to hear anymore.” I finally yelled.

  Charming’s eyes fell to me and narrowed. “Why did you bring her back? She’s still not safe here.”

  I shook my head. “I wouldn’t worry about faeries for a while. She’s safe here as she would be anywhere else at this point. Just get the magical wards as soon as you can for this place.”

  “Really?” His eyes grew in worry as he looked to Goldie.

  “Besides…” I started as my head turned and fell to Ashe with the brimstone pendant hanging around her neck. “Life is too short, even for us, to not spend it with the ones we love.”

  I pulled Ashe with me to turn around toward the door before Charming stopped me with a hand on my shoulder and, “Thank you.”

  I glanced back as Reynard stepped on to the hand and stared directly at Charming, blocking my view partially and doing something that was an utter shock…

  “That doesn’t mean everything is okay.” Reynard spoke clearly and suddenly with a high voice. “Gnidori may not kill, but I have no problem tearing you apart if you try anything ever again like that round-about non-sense you put her through the last few weeks… Got it?”

  Reynard’s paws stepped off Charming’s hand and he threw his bushy tail in a turn before stepping back down to Ashe’s shoulder. I saw the shocked expression on Charming’s face and I couldn’t help but grin as I pulled my shoulder from the Tsar and kept walking.

  I love this fox.

  “Don’t forget. I better hear you make that decree in a few days. My weaponsmiths want to move their workshop while they still have my help.” I added with a wave, not even directing my eyes back toward the Tsar and his lust-filled company.

  “R-Right.” Charming rasped, his voice clearing quickly, before he turned back to Goldie and some whispering ensued.

  My attention fell to Ashe though, after we reached the front doors and headed toward the twins who had elected to stay back again. I don’t know what they thought was going to happen with my visits to see the leaders of two nearby nations, but maybe they were right to stay back.

  “I don’t want an open relationship.” My roommate stated so possessively. I stopped and turned to look at her, she followed suit.

  “I’ve never had one yet.” I explained, trying to study her face.

  She closed her eyes and shook her head as her hand yanked from mine. “Then why didn’t you tell me you were going to kiss Gretel?”

  Had that been what Ashe was trying to say to me for weeks now?

  Of course it was, I hadn’t even thought about it. I didn’t even know she saw it from behind the fire wall.

  Ettie must have heard her name because she stopped Han from joining us with the back of her hand.

  “I hadn’t been thinking. For me that was something that happened way before what happened between us, Ashe.” I hung my head as I realized, “I hadn’t even thought of your feelings about it. The truth is, if I hadn’t let her kiss me I never would have been over her and kissed you.”

  “You don’t get it…” Ashe pulled further away from me and sniffled but I didn’t see any tears, in fact I hadn’t seen any from her in a few years. “Ever since my wedding day I felt I had married the person I slept in a bed with that night.”

  I stood in shock as it all clicked in place.

  I’d had thoughts before about how much Ashe was like a wife sometimes, it just didn’t sink in until she cried it out in front of me.

  Had I been so oblivious to her feelings?

  How cruel was I?

  And this wasn’t even the first time I had hurt her.

  I was a monster.

  My hands shot around her, and even though she struggled fiercely against me, I laid my cheek against hers and pulled one of her hands up to press it against my face.

  “I’m an idiot.” I started. “I never realized you wanted something more. It took overhearing you say it to others before I even paid attention. I should have known though, four years it felt like I had a wife and I won’t let a goodbye kiss get in the way when I find out you felt the same way.”

  I sighed. “I really am like Charming.”

  Ashe sniffled again and stopped struggling. “A goodbye kiss?”

  “I kissed Gnidori because I was afraid she would die when I shot her. So I gave her the goodbye she would have wanted from me, since it was the only thing I could never push myself to do with her.” Ettie stepped in to explain. I couldn’t see her since she was behind me.

  I don’t know how long Ashe held against me but eventually she turned her cheek, wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me deep in to a salty and wet kiss filled with more fire than I could have ever expected from her.

  When my eyes opened again, I turned toward the road with Ashe’s hand in mine. It was in that moment that I noticed Ettie had been looking away with a rigid expression.

  Had I mistaken her kiss?

  No, the one thing she always told me was she could never be together with me.

  I shrugged it off as Reynard said, “Does this mean Ashy is officially my nice mom?”

  “Nice?” I chirped and reached out to grab him, but he jumped from Ashe and started running away, ahead of everyone. I chased after him, while Ashe wiped her tears and smiled. The twins laughed until eventually I grew tired and settled back in next to… my wife.

  My wife… it sounds almost funny to say it, but that was what she was to me.

  “Well…” I sighed contently as my hand fit to Ashe’s. “And we all lived…”

  I stopped as everyone around me had such heavily surprised expressions on their faces. Even Ashe.

  “What?” I chuckled at them. “You all thought I was actually going to say happily ever after?”

  The End