“Those are the stupidest jokes I’ve ever heard!” I exclaimed.
“I know!” Koda bellowed.
We continued laughing for some time before I rolled to my back and stared up at the stars.
“You’re gonna be just fine,” Koda said quietly.
I didn’t reply, but held on to his hope that I would be.
Eventually we made our way back to the estate. I saw the crowd in the sitting room as we stepped onto the terrace. I stopped in my tracks. I’d been acting like a spoiled child since these clan members had arrived. I’d snapped at them and acted rudely. Yet another mistake to add to the growing list.
Daniel leaned in closer. “It’s going to be okay, Chey. They’re more understanding than you think.”
Maybe I didn’t want understanding, maybe…
I took a step back. Then there was Callon and what I’d done to him this morning.
“Colt would have wanted you to move forward, Cheyenne,” Koda said as I bumped into his chest.
I was completely surrounded; they weren’t going to let me turn back.
Daniel opened the terrace door, and Koda gently nudged me in. Silence fell over the room. Lilly rose and hesitated. Dex moved beside her, his hand on her shoulder.
“Cheyenne,” Lilly called out softly. “Are you—”
“It’s about damn time!” Maes snarled as he barreled into the dimly lit room. “Have fun with your little fire show did you? Feeling better now?”
He, no wait, they were watching what happened? The beast clawed at my chest, wanting its release again, and I clenched my fists. I couldn’t allow this dog’s cruel, cutting words to affect me. Daniel grasped my hand, and Koda blocked the green-eyed monster from my view.
“What’s this? You now have your own bodyguards? I’ve never met anyone more—”
“Enough!” Callon growled. He stormed forward from the corner of the hall. Nakari followed behind him, her emerald eyes avoiding mine. She stopped just to the right of Callon, her shoulder touching his.
My chest tightened. Was she afraid of me? Did she still think I was going to hurt her, or was it something else?
“She nearly got Andre killed and you’re not going to say anything?!” Maes demanded. His footsteps grew closer.
“She didn’t do anything, Maes,” Callon snapped. “You heard what Skylar said. There’s something in the water. Cheyenne had nothing to do with it.”
I inhaled a shaky breath, pushed Koda aside, and pulled away from Daniel. Lilly and Dex rushed forward, but I sidestepped them.
“I’m a total and complete failure, Maes.” My throat tightened as I was fighting to hold back my rage. “Is this what you wanted to hear? I’m sorry I’m not following your rules and that I’m mourning Colt’s death longer than you deem appropriate. I’m sorry that you think I didn’t do enough to help Andre. I’m sorry for being such a horrid person since everyone arrived here.” I met his green eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“Stop apologizing, Cheyenne. We’re not forcing all this pressure on you,” Callon said. “Stop doing this to yourself.” He reached for me, and the creature inside rose its head.
“How dare you, you hypocrite!” My hand rose and came down hard against his cheek. “The only way to defeat Marcus, the sole living Kvech heir…that’s all you’ve said from the start! Don’t even think about turning the blame onto me! You did this, you, you, you!”
I stared, shocked, afraid, and humiliated at what I’d just done. So much for wanting to start over. My hand began throbbing, and I ran from the room. I raced up the stairs, knowing Callon wasn’t far behind me. I couldn’t breathe by the time I’d reached my bedroom door and slammed it shut behind me.
What was I becoming? Daniel had just told me I was the one driving this family apart, and it was as if his words didn’t matter. I sat on my bed facing the terrace, my breath still ragged. This anger coursing through me…it was too much. I couldn’t control it.
The landing outside my door creaked. Callon was there, but he hadn’t entered yet. Would he? Or would he walk away again when I needed him most? Why did my mind and heart feel like a jumbled mess?
The cool night air drifted through the opened terrace doors, and my bedroom door creaked open. He’d come inside, but did I truly want him here? I lowered my head, my shoulders slumped forward and I clasped my fingers together tightly. I’d made a mess of things again. I sensed his eyes on my back, waiting, unsure.
“Why can’t you understand?” I whispered.
He moved closer, and I held up my hand.
“Don’t come near me.” I knew what I was doing, hiding, running to the only safe spot I knew.
“Cheyenne, why?” Callon pleaded. His hands ran through his hair. “All I want to do is help you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
The beast surged again.
“Liar!” I clenched my fingers into fists as the whirlwind of the last few days came to life again. “You don’t help me. You hurt me. You’ve never told me the truth. You’ve manhandled me like a piece of meat. You’ve never asked about my feelings or thoughts, and just treat me like a puppet to bow to your whims.” The incident at the lake flew into my mind and tears began to pour without my consent. I couldn’t stop my voice from quivering. “You were going to take Colt away from me, just so I could be yours. You’ve never tried to win my heart, only seize it. You’re no better than Marcus…”
“Enough!” Callon roared and I flinched, curling myself away from him.
What was I doing?
He exhaled heavily and moved towards the terrace, stopping so he could see me through the glass.
“Forgive me,” he sighed, but then hesitated. “Is this really what you think of me?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Once again I’d just blurted out what was in my heart without thought to what the consequences would be. My anger, rage, the beast had gotten the better of me again. I’d let it loose. And now I couldn’t tell the difference. I was utterly lost.
I drew my knees to my chest.
“I don’t know anymore,” I whispered. “I’m drowning, Callon, and I don’t know what to do.” The cool air wrapped itself around me, and I shivered. I didn’t want to be this cold-hearted shell. “I know…you want to help. You all do. But I don’t know how you can.” I swallowed and lowered my head further. “Or if I even want it.”
Callon turned to face me. “What do you mean?”
I released a shaky breath, not wanting to meet his hazel eyes, ashamed at what I was about to admit again.
“When…When I saw Colt die, all I could feel was pure, hot anger.” I held myself closer as I relived the memory. “I couldn’t see, couldn’t think. There was just this…rage. This all-consuming, blazing inferno that rampaged through every inch of my flesh. And for the first time in my life, I wanted to make someone suffer.”
He walked to the bed and sat beside me, but he didn’t try to touch me. Instead he rubbed his cheek where I’d slapped him.
“I wanted to make Marcus feel every bit of hurt he’d ever done to me.” I closed my eyes as I began to shake. “I wanted to burn that pain deep into his heart, engrave it there so he’d never forget.” I paused. “And I almost killed everyone because of it.”
Callon drew his arm around me, and I didn’t fight it.
“What am I becoming, Callon?” I whispered as I looked up into his weary eyes. “These feelings inside of me—they’re out of control, and it scares me.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks, remembering all too well the hurt and pain I’d caused him this morning. “I don’t want to hurt the ones I love, I don’t! But this darkness, this beast that’s raging in my soul, it’s eating at me day by day. One day there’ll be nothing left but the hate, and then…” My breath caught, and I couldn’t speak as the tears burst forth.
“Hush,” he said, pulling me into a tight embrace.
I wrapped my arms around him as I began sobbing. I hated what I was becoming. He stroked my
hair and gently began rocking me.
“Cheyenne, it’s normal to feel like this…”
“How?” I sniffled. “How can it be normal to want to destroy everything!”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Callon rubbed my shoulder. “When I saw Colt fall…it was like watching a dream. I couldn’t believe it. My brother, my comrade-in-arms, my best friend, gone, just like that. And then Marcus started laughing.”
His jaw tightened against my cheek.
“In that moment, I would’ve ripped him from limb to limb. I would’ve faced his entire army, fought against every Tresez and Tracker he had, if only to let him feel half the pain I felt.”
Callon paused, as he seemed to relive the memory himself.
“I know what that kind of venomous hate feels like, because it’s not the first time Marcus has hurt my family.”
I stiffened and withdrew slightly so I could see his face. “What? He’s done this before?”
He cupped my cheek. It was as if he was deciding to tell me the truth, the whole truth about him and his family. It was as if he was now ready to tell me his secrets. I held onto his arm, waiting.
“My sisters,” he finally said. “They were living far from the front lines.” He glanced away from me, staring at the bed sheets. “I never thought Marcus would find them, but he did.” He swallowed. “He didn’t spare my brothers-in-law, not my nephews and nieces. He slaughtered them all, and leveled their homes to the ground. And he did it for the sole reason of getting to me.”
Callon’s eyes narrowed before he closed them. He knew what I was feeling, the pain, and the agony. My fingers brushed his cheek, and he raised his hand and held it there.
“If they hadn’t been related to me, Marcus wouldn’t have cared,” he said, still unable to hold my gaze. “He would’ve left them alone. But he tracked them down, hunted them, knowing he’d do so much more damage than if he’d attacked me directly.” He tapped his chest. “He hit me here, and it was the worst pain I could ever imagine.”
“Callon…” I leaned in and kissed his cheek. How could I have been so blind and selfish? “I—I had no idea.”
His head rose as his hands came to rest on my shoulders. The intensity in his eyes…I couldn’t look away.
“He’s doing the same to you,” he said. “He took Colt away to drown you in the darkness, suffocate you in your own hate. Because he’s afraid of you, Cheyenne. He knows your power, and he’s trying to screen your eyes from it, to limit your potential.”
He leaned in closer as the reality of everything hit me hard. I’d known it, but I was refusing to see it till now. Our brows touched.
“I don’t want you to go to that place I did,” he murmured. “The darkness so deep you can’t see where you’ve been or where you’re going. Where your heart is so blackened you can’t feel pain or joy. Where you want nothing more than to fade away because you think there’s no reason for you to live anymore.”
He knew…
“When you’re drowning…” I whispered, “…and you’re scared everyone’s going to go down with you, so you try and make them stay away.”
I ran my hands up his arms, resting them at the back of his neck. This was the Callon I needed, the man who knew my pain and could help me, but would he?
“Colt was my light, and now all I have is darkness,” I breathed. “I—I don’t, I—I can’t…”
“Then let me be your lifeline.” His cheek touched mine. “I’m not trying to replace your light. But let me keep you above the water.” His lips brushed mine, and my lids lowered. “Let me keep the darkness at bay, so you don’t have to see it all the time.”
Another caress warmed the corner of my mouth, and I trembled. The beast didn’t resist. It was calm as Callon held me. It was as if it knew, needed Callon as much as I needed him.
“I know you didn’t mean what you said this morning, Cheyenne. I know it was the anger talking.”
“Don’t desert me, Callon. You’re my last hope,” I whispered.
His mouth covered mine, and a tremor rocked me. This morning I’d been cruel and heartless, and he knew it wasn’t me. I needed him like the air I breathed. He truly was my lifeline. If he gave up on me, all would be lost.
I pushed closer, needing every inch, every breath, every bit of life from him. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to change the path that I was sure would cause more chaos and destruction than I could ever imagine.
Marcus wouldn’t win. He wouldn’t blind me any longer. My eyes were wide open now.
I’d have to learn to tame the beast inside.
Chapter 7
My fingers traced the pillow beside me. It was still warm. I hadn’t been dreaming after all. Callon had stayed with me most of the night. His warm musky scent still hung in the air.
I needed him desperately, and he hadn’t deserted me. Finally, I was beginning to feel some hope. Hope for our future, and the Timeless clans.
I stretched and threw the covers back. My feet padded against the cold wood floor, and I opened the terrace doors. The orange glow of the morning sun was just beginning to break through the overcast skies. I pulled the chaise closer and sat, watching the meadow come to life.
A lone black rabbit hurried over the worn path and disappeared into the forest. I heard the soft sound of grass moving before Callon came into view. He was walking towards the lake, inspecting it for the unknown creature, I was sure.
I’d heard his warning about staying away, but sooner or later I’d find a way to rid us of the creature. I had to, if only to prove my worth. I owed Callon that much.
The chill in the morning air washed over me and I grabbed the blanket lying beside me. Callon must have put it out here for me knowing I’d come onto the balcony this morning. I snuggled up in the soft fleece.
Callon disappeared into the trees, and I turned my attention elsewhere. The sound of the horses whinnying in the distance caused me to smile. My thoughts wandered to Mandi. I missed her. I closed my eyes briefly as I pictured my Palomino prancing around the corral, demanding her release. The moment Colt would open the gate, she’d be off in a flash, galloping through the meadow, but always, after a bit, she would turn and search for me. It was as if she wanted her freedom, but knew her heart belonged to me as mine did to her.
Soft footsteps caught my attention, and I turned to see Nakari stop and lean on the terrace rail. She was staring out into the meadow like I had.
A sigh escaped her, and she pulled a necklace from her blouse. Her fingers ran over it while she stared lovingly at something hanging off the chain. It was a white gold ring with a large diamond; it looked like an engagement ring.
She closed her eyes as she grasped it in her palm and pushed it to her chest. Her expression saddened as she curled her fingers tighter. A tear escaped and trailed down her cheek.
She was heartbroken, just like me, but over whom? Had she lost her love? Was he brutally taken away from her like mine? I’d been selfish and self-absorbed since everyone’s arrival. I should have known others would have been through the same; others had suffered and sacrificed too. I couldn’t change what I’d done, but I could at least make an effort to see other’s hurts. I also owed her an apology. What I’d done was wrong.
Movement in the meadow caught my eye. Callon was returning. His gaze rose towards the upper terrace, but he wasn’t looking at me. Nakari pushed the necklace back under her shirt, but her eyes never left Callon.
Did he see me and was still fearful for Nakari? Or was it something else? Suddenly his gaze moved to me, and I turned to see Nakari had disappeared.
A morsel of jealousy rose in my chest. Was there something between Callon and Nakari, or were my thoughts running wild and playing tricks on me? I shook my head. It had to be my mind playing tricks. I’d already been acting coldheartedly, doing things and hearing thoughts that weren’t my own…it had to be.
I headed inside to the bathroom, changed and then headed for my bedroom door. The hall was empty, but soon
I heard footsteps behind me. I glanced back to see Andre and cringed.
“Cheyenne?” Andre called and my pace quickened.
After what happened yesterday, my guilt over her accident and my behavior washed over me.
I headed down the stairs and stopped in the hall.
Voices echoed from the sitting room, and I found new clan members waiting. I paused. More had arrived?
“You can do this,” Daniel whispered near my ear. I jumped. Where’d he come from?
My eyes narrowed. “You’re not helping the situation here, Daniel,” I grumbled.
“Sorry,” he replied. “I really didn’t mean to scare you.”
I turned towards the crowd and found that I’d somehow moved closer.
“Stop it!” I snapped. “I’ll move when I want to move.”
“There you are,” Callon said and walked towards me, his eyes wary.
He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I want to introduce you to a few clan members.”
Without allowing me to delay, he pulled me forward. My breathing hitched, but I didn’t feel like I was out of control. Maybe just having Callon touch me was all I’d needed to help tame the beast.
Lilly burst from the kitchen, Dex following behind.
“Cheyenne,” Lilly said softly, but suddenly stiffened as Callon glanced her way.
The room grew quiet as Callon moved us towards the waiting group. Maes stepped closer, his jade-rimmed eyes focusing on me. The creature inside began to rumble, but Callon squeezed my arm.
“Cheyenne, this is Brogan, Layla, and Quinn of the Laundess clan. They’ve come to help as well.”
All attention remained on me, waiting for the explosion they’d grown to expect. I swallowed and stuck out my hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Quinn,” I said calmly.
His brown eyes leveled with mine. He was the same height. A genuine smile breached his lips as his brown hand came out to grasp mine, and he bowed his dark head over it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Cheyenne,” he replied, his Middle Eastern accent thick.
Daylight, a Timeless Series Novel Page 9