by Debra Doxer
“It feels like I haven’t been to school in ages,” I said.
“We’ve only missed one day. That’s not so long. I was out too. We should probably think of an excuse for why we were both gone at the same time.”
“I doubt anyone noticed.”
He laughed. “This is high school. Math and English may get past them, but gossip doesn’t. They’ve probably got us off eloping somewhere.”
I smiled, shaking my head at him. “That would be interesting, but since we’re not together, I don’t think so.”
“They don’t know that.”
“Actually, they do. At least Lea does, and probably Parker and Ashley too. I told Lea it wasn’t working out because we didn’t have any chemistry together.”
He laughed low in his throat. “Now who’s lying.”
My cheeks grew warm. It was a monumental lie, but I refused to look at him. “Anyway, it’s better this way. The more people who know we’re not together, the better.”
Jonah pulled into the school parking lot and chose the closest free spot near the main doors. “Why is that?”
“Because I’m supposed to be getting close to Drew, and he hates you. You’re a liability to me.”
“A liability?” He turned to face me. “I haven’t told my father your decision yet. You could still change your mind.”
“I’m not changing my mind.”
Jonah sighed. “We should talk about this more before we go inside.”
I didn’t like the look he was giving me. “I thought we already did. I’m supposed to take Drew up on the offer to have dinner with his family.”
“We both know Drew wants more than a dinner from you.”
I shrugged. “That doesn’t mean he’s going to get it.”
“I would hope not.”
My eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He got that conflicted look again, like he wanted to say something but was stopping himself. “Nothing. Let’s just go in.” Then he turned and opened his door.
Did he think I would use Drew the same way he used me? Was that what he stopped himself from saying? My fingers tightened around the strap of my messenger bag. I jumped down from the Jeep and slammed the door closed harder than necessary.
If Jonah noticed, he didn’t react as he walked silently beside me toward the main doors of the school. “So we’re over. That’s our story?” he asked.
I nodded.
“But we need to stay friends because I have to be able to talk to you in school.”
“Fine.”
“We’re friends because you’re not offended by the fact that I find you completely unappealing.”
I gave him a wry look. “I said we had no chemistry. I was being nice. That’s a no-fault breakup.”
“Right. It’s not your fault I’m in no way attracted to you.”
Fighting the smile that wanted to form, I rolled my eyes instead and kept walking.
“As for our absence, I went on another trip with my father and you were out sick. Sound reasonable?”
“Sure. I went on a trip with your father and you were out sick.”
“Funny,” he said as I pulled the door open.
I sped up ahead of him without saying good-bye. I was only a few feet away from my locker when I noticed Lea leaning against it. She was staring down at her feet, looking uncharacteristically melancholy.
“What’s up?” I asked, startling her when I appeared beside her.
She put her hand on her hip. “Where have you been?”
“I was sick.”
“Again?”
“Yeah, again. Is everything okay?”
She dropped her book bag to the floor. “No, actually. It’s not. If you’d respond to one of my texts, you’d know that.”
“Sorry.” I turned the combination on my locker, knowing that a good friend would listen and be compassionate right now. But I had so much on my mind, her drama would have to be really good to hold my attention.
“Ethan is dating Mia now,” she stated.
Nope, not that good. “Who’s Mia?”
Her eyes widened. “She’s our class president. How do you not know that? And she’s not his typical bimbo. She’s actually smart. She’s a real person.”
Trying hard not to laugh, I closed my locker and looked at her. “He hooks up with a lot of girls. You know that, and I’m pretty sure they’re all real.”
Lea rolled her eyes. “But Mia isn’t a slut or anything. What if he really likes her?”
“Maybe she’s a closet slut.”
She shot me a look that said she wasn’t amused.
“Lea.” I sighed. “Senior year is half over. How much of high school are you going to spend pining over Ethan? Maybe it’s time to let it go, or just finally be honest with him. What have you got to lose at this point?”
“Him. I could lose him. I could ruin everything if he doesn’t feel the same way, and let’s face it, he doesn’t. He’s had plenty of time to tell me. Anyway . . .” She glanced down at the floor. “I’m making too big a deal of this. I know that.”
“Lea.”
“See you at lunch. Do we even have lunch today? They should have just cancelled school like they did in Ryberg. This dumb town never cancels. If we were in the middle of a tornado, they’d probably open the school and hand out helmets.” She scowled as she turned and walked down the hallway.
I snorted, thinking I should have acted more sympathetic. But she was running out of time, and I wanted her to be happy. Despite how ridiculous Ethan sometimes spoke and acted, I didn’t think he was a bad guy. He’d been loyal to Jonah and he never took any of Parker’s crap, which weighed heavily in his favor.
Ethan had to know Lea liked him, and yet he did nothing about it other than have random, probably drunk make-out sessions with her at parties. Guys weren’t that complicated. If Ethan liked Lea, they’d be together. Since they weren’t together, he probably didn’t.
I was wondering if I should stick my nose in and try to help when I walked into first period English and stalled just inside the doorway. My stomach knotted as I remembered the last time I’d been in here and the way Jonah had confronted me. It was a day I didn’t want to remember, but knew I would never forget.
Jonah was already seated at his usual desk, and his eyes followed me as I walked down the aisle and sat beside him. I pulled out a blank piece of notebook paper and handed it to him.
He eyed it curiously.
“Write down where Drew is for each period today. You know his schedule, don’t you?” I figured if Drew was his original assignment, he must know.
Jonah’s expression told me I was right. His mouth tightened, but he nodded and started writing.
When class ended, he handed the paper back to me. “Your best bet is to catch him after gym class.”
I tilted my head suspiciously at his helpfulness.
“Just come see me after,” he added. “If you’re going to do this, I want a line of communication open between us.”
Right. He was cooperating because he wanted to be kept in the loop. “Sure,” I said, but I kept my fingers crossed behind my back as we walked out of class. I’d keep him in the loop if it suited my purposes. I wasn’t doing this for him or his organization. I was doing it for my father.
In the hallway, I asked Jonah about Ethan. “Does he know who you really are?”
“No. And I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way.”
“So he thinks you’re actually his friend.”
Jonah’s eyes darkened. “I am his friend.”
Obviously, he was tired of my reminding him of his lies. “Do you know who he’s dating these days?”
His frustration turned to wariness. “Why? You interested?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m asking for Lea. She’s wondering if he’s serious about her.”
He shrugged. “Is he serious about anything?”
Biting my lip, I wondered if I could enlist his help for Lea.
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Jonah glanced at his watch. “Spit it out, Seaborne. We’re going to be late for class.”
I scowled. “Look, this needs to stay between us, but Lea really likes Ethan, and she’s taking it pretty hard every time he asks out a girl that’s not her.”
“He likes her too,” Jonah said nonchalantly.
“He does?” I was shocked by how easily he’d related this critical information.
Jonah nodded. “The problem isn’t with Lea, it’s with him. From what I can tell, his family is messed up, and they messed him up. He believes that if she ever really got to know him, she wouldn’t like him, so he keeps her at a distance.”
“But she does like him. They like each other. They could totally be together.”
He angled a look at me. “Sometimes it’s not that simple, though. Is it?”
My gaze locked with his as I got his meaning. “This is different,” I said quietly. “Maybe you could talk to Ethan?”
He took a step back. “No way.”
“Why not? You’d be doing a good thing.”
“Sorry. That’s above my pay grade.”
I tilted my head at him.
“I don’t see a happy ending happening with those two. You should stay out of it. Since when do you play matchmaker anyway?”
“I just want Lea to be happy.”
He pointed a finger at me. “I suggest you worry about yourself.”
When Jonah turned and walked away without a backward glance, I should have been upset with him for refusing to help, but I wasn’t. Normally I’d stay out of it too. But for some reason, I didn’t want to see Lea heartbroken.
Maybe it was because my own heart felt so raw. I wanted someone to be happy, even if it couldn’t be me.
***
Drew was at his locker after gym, just like Jonah said he would be. His blond hair was spiky on top, looking freshly washed. Worn khakis hung off his narrow hips, and a red form-fitting cotton T-shirt emphasized his broad shoulders and slim waist.
Drew looked good, but he did absolutely nothing for me. Not a single butterfly fluttered in my stomach. Those traitorous creatures saved all their energy for Jonah.
“Hey,” I said as I walked up to Drew, realizing I felt nervous around him now because I couldn’t stop thinking that he knew about the organization. He knew about my father, and he was the person most likely to understand how I felt.
He gave me a casual look at first, but when he realized it was me, he became more alert, standing up straight. “Candy, hi.”
“Sorry I didn’t text you back about the dinner invitation. That was really nice of your family to invite me.”
His bright blue eyes crinkled with his smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you were busy.”
My gaze searched his as I wondered if he knew exactly what had kept me so busy. “So if the invitation is still open, I’d love to come.”
His brows arched up. “Sure. I’ll let my mom know.”
“Great.” I smiled, feeling awkward at how much we were smiling. It was weird, too polite and formal. Just like it was weird to believe Drew knew everything about me and my family while I was clueless my whole life.
Once he’d put his books away in his locker, I walked with him toward his next class, and he casually asked if I liked working at Dempsey’s Diner. That was where I’d last seen him, and if he noticed how tense I became when he brought up the diner, he didn’t say so.
“I had to quit. Working was getting in the way of homework.” I hated lying, but had no choice.
“I hear you. Track eats up a lot of my time too.”
After saying good-bye, I detoured in the direction of Jonah’s locker, figuring he’d come looking for me if I didn’t. Instead, I came face-to-face with Parker, who’d come down the same hallway from the other direction.
“Hi,” she said, looking a little uneasy. She was wearing her dyed blond hair straighter than usual, and her overall look was toned down from her normal tight dress and heels. Instead she had on high boots with a pair of skinny jeans tucked into them.
“Hey,” I replied. We eyed each other as we turned at the same time and began walking in the same direction.
“Where are you headed?” she asked.
I was wondering the same thing about her since there was nothing this way but a hallway full of senior lockers.
“To see Jonah.”
“Me too.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re not back together with him, are you?”
My brows rose at her tone.
“Because I got the impression you two were over. You know I’ve always liked him, but if you’re going to get jealous and start destroying my stuff again, tell me now. I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of the year.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her to go for it. Since Jonah would rather fall in a pot of boiling oil than spend time with Parker, giving her a green light might be a fitting punishment for him. I couldn’t deny that I liked her asking my permission. But I also couldn’t deny that the thought of him with her or anyone else made my heart hurt. The last thing I wanted was to send him a girl like Parker on a silver platter.
My lips curled into a satisfied smile. “You should stay away from him.”
Parker didn’t like my answer. That was clear by the way her nose wrinkled and her gaze sharpened like a laser on me. “You two are back together?”
I shook my head.
She gave me a confused look. “So, what then? You don’t want him to be with anyone else?”
“I don’t want him to be with you.”
Parker’s hands went to her hips. “If Jonah’s a free agent, what you want doesn’t matter, does it? He can make his own choices.”
With a smug look, she turned and walked in the direction of Jonah’s locker. I stood watching her, second-guessing myself. She’d probably tell Jonah, and she’d be out for my blood again. I couldn’t seem to stop antagonizing her. The way she hunted down my ex looking for dirt still grated on me, but considering everything I had going on, it was best not to start another war with Parker if I could help it. I didn’t need the distraction.
Since I didn’t want a scene at Jonah’s locker, I turned around and decided not to talk to him about my conversation with Drew. I didn’t need to wait in line for Jonah’s time. I wasn’t sure why I was rushing to tell him in the first place.
It turned out that lunch wasn’t canceled, just shortened. The entire day was abbreviated since we’d lost most of the morning, and as lunch approached, I realized the thought of sitting at the same round table in the cafeteria with the same people I’d gotten to know over the past few months was killing my appetite. I didn’t want to see Lea sulking over Ethan, or Parker flirting with Jonah, so instead I went to the library and sat there, staring at my homework rather than doing it. I couldn’t seem to focus.
After school, as Jonah drove me home in his Jeep, he asked, “Did you talk to Drew today?”
I was surprised he’d waited this long to bring it up. “I talked to him. He said the dinner invitation is still open.”
He glanced at me as if expecting me to say more about it. Recalling the comment he made this morning about Drew wanting more than dinner from me, I added some commentary.
“He didn’t ask me to sleep over after dinner, and he didn’t say that clothes were optional.”
Jonah shook his head and exhaled a puff of air. “You think that’s funny? You’re not taking this seriously.”
I snorted. “Believe me. No one is taking this more seriously than me.”
“I mean you’re not taking Drew seriously. How far would you go to help your father, Candy? Because Drew isn’t above asking you to go further than you have in mind.”
I crossed my arms and looked out the window. “I know you think I’m naive, but I can handle myself just fine, no matter what Drew has in mind.”
“I promised you I’d be honest, and the truth is you’re emotional and vulnerable right now. Drew migh
t take advantage of that by lying to you and pretending he can help your father more than he actually can.”
I turned to look at him.
“He might ask you for something in exchange for that help.”
My eyes narrowed. “Like sex?”
Jonah nodded as the muscle in his cheek turned into a tight ball.
I stared back at him. Floored. “Have you met me? Do you really think I’d do that?”
The Jeep jerked to the right and ended up on the side of the road. Jonah slammed it into Park and turned to face me.
“I think he’s not above doing it, and that you feel all alone right now, even though you’re not. You’ve made up your mind that you’re the only person in the world who can save your father, and you’d do just about anything to bring him home.”
His eyes were intent on mine. He really thought I’d have sex with Drew in exchange for helping my father. Not only was I insulted, but I was completely devastated because Jonah didn’t know me at all.
He bit his bottom lip, and I could sense him wondering if being so honest had been a mistake. But he’d said it and he’d meant it, and he couldn’t unring that bell.
“What about you?” I asked. “As long as we’re on the subject, what can you do for me if I have sex with you?”
“Don’t,” he said in a warning tone. “Don’t say things like that to me.”
“Right. Because it’s not like you just called me a whore or anything.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” He glared at me, vibrating with frustration.
“I want to go home now, Jonah.”
“Candy . . .”
“Please just take me home.”
Looking like he wanted to say more, he released an exaggerated sigh as he stiffly took the wheel and pulled back out onto the road.
I gripped my knees in my hands while my blood heated. My eyes filled with tears, and I kept them trained out the window so he wouldn’t see. I wasn’t sure why the fact that Jonah thought I would sleep with Drew for information tore me up inside, but it did. It hurt that he thought so little of me, and the fact that I cared this much about what he thought hurt even more.