by Debra Doxer
The sight of him in his leather coat and well-worn jeans caused me to release a relieved breath.
“Want anything?” I asked as I handed some cash to the clerk.
Silently, he shook his head. Then he waited until the transaction was finished, took my coffee from me, and led me outside by the hand where his Jeep was parked.
After opening the door and waiting until I was seated to hand me back my coffee, he closed it again and came around to get in on the driver’s side, all without saying a word.
Once the engine was running and the heat was going, he looked at me and waited.
“Did you see that tall guy in the Quick Mart? I think it was Bruce Willis.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Bruce Willis?”
I nodded.
“Shopping in the Glenn Valley Quick Mart at ten o’clock on a Friday night?”
I nodded again. “I really think it was him. I’m good at spotting celebrities. I once saw Sarah Jessica Parker at the Tasty Freeze in Ryberg. She doesn’t like chocolate dip on her ice cream, in case you were wondering.”
“Candy.” He said my name on a soft breath.
I looked down at the steaming coffee in my hands, wanting to take a sip. But I was trembling so hard, I was afraid to raise it to my lips.
Jonah took the cup from me and set it down in the cup holder. Then he took both my hands in his. “Are you okay?”
Looking down at our hands, I nodded, but then I decided there was no point in pretending. “I’m not okay. Your father scares me to death.”
Jonah released a ragged sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me about the dinner?”
I took my hands back and picked up my coffee again, determined to drink some this time. After managing a tentative sip, I held on to it and formed the lie in my head before I said it out loud. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if I would learn anything. I wanted to go there first.”
Jonah’s expression didn’t change as his eyes reflected the light coming through the windshield from the Quick Mart.
“Your father somehow knew about the dinner, but he didn’t tell you?”
“I guess neither of you told me.” He gave me a stiff smile, obviously not pleased that his father kept it from him too.
“How do you think he knew? Is he following me?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, looking tired.
I sank down further into the seat. “What if he’s still at my house, waiting for me? Have you talked to him tonight? Do you know where he is?”
“No,” he said, sounding unsure. “I’ll go in your house with you. It will be fine.”
“Will it? If he tried to hurt me, would you stop him?”
Jonah look surprised at my question before he frowned. “He’s not going to hurt you.”
“He hurt my father.” And he hurt your mother. I swallowed back the words I couldn’t say.
“Your father pointed a gun at him. He doesn’t want to hurt you, Candy. You don’t need to be scared of him.”
You’re scared of him, I wanted to say, recalling how tense he became around his father.
“He’s broken into my house how many times? He can even get around the alarm now. How am I supposed to stay there, knowing he could walk right into my bedroom while I’m asleep?”
Reaching over, he laid his hand on my forearm. “If it makes you feel better, I could stay with you.”
I let out a miserable laugh.
“What?” he asked.
“That’s like asking the wolf to watch the sheep. We’re not talking about just anyone here. This is your father. If you’re wrong about him, would you really be willing to stand up to him?”
He moved his hand to the wheel, his expression one of indulgence. “I’m the wolf here, and you’re the sheep? I’d never liken you to a sheep, Candy. A bear or a lion, maybe.”
I pursed my lips, even though I didn’t mind the comparison so much. Who wanted to be a sheep?
“Look, you just have to tell him what you learned from the Hoyts. That’s the deal you made. If he thinks you’re reneging, he’s obviously not going to like it. You can’t be surprised by that.”
I looked at Jonah but said nothing. He would always defend his father. Nothing I said would change his mind.
He checked his side mirror and pulled out into the street. We drove in silence, and a few minutes later my house was in sight.
“Do you want to wait in the car or come in with me?” he asked, parking in front.
“I’ll come in with you.” It was preferable to waiting outside alone.
The house was dark as if no one was home, but that was how it looked before too. I got out of the Jeep and stilled, hesitating to go inside.
“Key,” he said, holding his hand out.
Not sure if he’d even need it, I fished through my bag and held it out to him. Then I followed him up the walkway.
Jonah found the door locked and used the key to let himself in. I stalled in the doorway while he walked inside and flipped on light switches. The whole house lit up as I stood there, listening to Jonah move through each room.
A moment later, he appeared in the entryway. “All clear.”
I glanced around hesitantly. “Are you sure?”
“He’s not the type to cower in the closet or hide under the bed, so I’m reasonably sure.”
My spine stiffened. “You’re making fun of me?”
He shook his head, but didn’t meet my eyes. “No. I’m making lousy jokes because I don’t like seeing you so upset.”
Raking a hand through his hair, he glanced down when Pumpkin walked past him on his way to me. I bent down and stroked the cat’s back, causing him to purr. When I stood up, Pumpkin went over to Jonah.
After giving me a look of surprise, Jonah bent down and skimmed his hand along Pumpkin’s back. “I think he’s getting to know me.”
Not missing the irony in the fact that Pumpkin seemed to trust Jonah now when I couldn’t, I took off my coat off and hung it in the closet. When I turned around, Jonah was staring at me.
“You look nice.”
“Thanks.” Self-conscious, I smoothed my hand over my skirt. Usually I preened happily when given a compliment, but with Jonah I got shy, maybe because it meant more to me.
His gaze moved from my body up to my face, his expression appreciative but wistful. “You also look exhausted. You should probably get some sleep.”
I was exhausted, but not in a way that any amount of sleep would cure. “So . . .” I hedged. “You’re going to sleep here?”
“I said I would. Is that okay?”
I exhaled with relief and nodded. “Do you want to sleep on the couch? Or there’s my father’s bed.”
He shook his firmly at my second suggestion. “I’ll take the couch.”
“If you don’t want to lie in his bed, you could still borrow some pajamas from him. I promise they don’t have cooties.”
With a small smile, he hitched up one shoulder. “Okay, as long as you promise.”
After leaving a pair of clean pajamas in the bathroom for Jonah and a new toothbrush I found in the cabinet, I brought some blankets and a pillow out to the couch. It was a long sectional that could easily accommodate his height, so I didn’t feel too bad about him sleeping on it.
I was still dressed when he came out of the bathroom in my father’s red-and-blue flannel pajamas, a button-down shirt and drawstring pants. But the pants were a few inches too short, as were the sleeves. I couldn’t help my soft giggle.
“Laugh it up, Seaborne. But I happen to know you wore Hello Kitty pajamas not so long ago.” He pointed to a picture on the buffet table. He was joking. I was only a kid when it was taken.
Jonah walked over to the couch and saw how I’d made it up for him. “Looks comfy. Thanks.”
He was being so nice about this. His niceness in the face of everything shouldn’t have surprised me anymore, but it continued to anyway.
�
�Thank you for staying. It’s just for one night, though. I mean, until you talk to your father and make sure he’s not planning any more surprise visits.”
His hazel eyes softened. “Let’s not worry about that yet. Right now, you look like you’re going to fall over if you don’t get some sleep.”
A yawn was my response. It made him smile.
“I think you’re right. Good night, Jonah.”
He looked at me, his gaze seeming to reach inside my chest and tug at my heart. I was filled with something that felt like longing. Was that what this was? Longing, regret, fear? They all seemed to be there, and if I wasn’t mistaken, his eyes telegraphed the same emotions to me.
It was hard to look away and walk into my bedroom. I wanted to stay and talk with him, to just be around him. Despite his telling me to go to sleep, if I stayed I knew I’d be welcome. But the same thing that prevented me from telling Jonah about my dinner tonight had me tearing my gaze away.
Lorraine was right about Jonah. He was under Victor’s thumb, and I could only imagine how Victor had accomplished that. Fear and years of brainwashing, maybe. Pretending to be someone he wasn’t in front of his son. Painting a picture of himself that wasn’t true, and manipulating the emotions of a boy who’d been injured by his mother before he lost her. I felt desolate just thinking about it.
Jonah had all of my sympathy, but unless he could break away from his father, I couldn’t risk giving him any of my trust.
***
It was three in the morning when a sound woke me. Pumpkin jumped off the bed and trotted toward my closed bedroom door. The events of last night came back to me, and my stomach jumped when I realized the noise was coming from the kitchen. As I stayed under the covers listening, I could hear the familiar noise of the coffeemaker burbling, and I relaxed. I doubted Victor would break in and stop to make himself coffee.
Awake now, I decided I might as well see why Jonah wasn’t sleeping. As I came out of my bedroom, I found him just settling down on the couch in the living room with a mug in one hand and the television remote in the other.
“Can’t sleep?” I asked.
He turned to face me. “No. Sorry if I woke you.”
“You didn’t,” I lied, not wanting him to feel bad.
As I walked around the couch to sit beside him, I was struck by how vulnerable Jonah looked. His hair was sticking up in the back, and he needed a shave. The pajamas he wore were too small, and his face was pinched, like worry was his new best friend.
“Is everything okay?”
“Sure.” He scratched his cheek, and I looked at him like I didn’t believe him, because I didn’t.
Laughing softly but without much humor, he sipped from his mug. “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?”
My body stilled at the thought, and I nodded.
“I’m a disappointment to my father.”
I hadn’t expected that.
“Unlike yours, my father wanted me in the organization, but he also wanted me to be different. He says I’m more like my mother than him, and he doesn’t mean it as a compliment. He means I’m too soft, which is probably why he didn’t tell me he was coming to your house tonight. He knew I’d try to stop him.”
I recalled them arguing outside the front door that first night, and wondered how much Jonah had been protecting me from his father. “The fact that you’re not like him is a good thing, in my opinion.”
He said nothing. Instead he looked down at the mug in his hand, seeming to regret what he’d revealed. “You should try to get some sleep,” he finally said.
After opening up, he was now shutting down, and I didn’t want to let him. “How come you haven’t asked me if I learned anything at my dinner with the Hoyts?”
He gave me a sideways glance. “Would you tell me if I did?”
“Probably not.”
Despite my response, I found myself wanting to discuss it with Jonah. I could have used his advice. He was smart and levelheaded.
He watched me a moment longer before rubbing his hand over his cheek. “My father won’t wait long, Candy. He knows you talked to them. You’ll have to tell him something soon.”
Those words reminded me once again who he was aligned with.
I’d been quiet for so long that he gave me a searching, hopeful look. “If you tell me what you learned, you won’t have to tell my father.”
He made a good point, but he had no idea what secrets I was keeping. The door between us kept opening and closing. We both wanted it open, but outside influences kept forcing us to close it again.
“I think you were right before. I should try to get some sleep.”
Jonah nodded knowingly, as if he’d never expected me to reveal anything to him.
“By the way,” I said as I stood to leave, “the fact that your father thinks you’re a disappointment says more about him than it does about you. It’s hard to imagine any parent being disappointed to have you for a son.”
As I walked back to my room, I knew that before this was over, I needed to reunite Jonah with his mother. He needed at least one parent who would be proud of him.
When I got back to my room, I saw I had a text from the very person I’d been thinking about. Lorraine had sent the full name of the primary doctor involved with the trial, as well as the names of other doctors listed in the files. But she couldn’t find the name of the drug, at least not in the English sections.
I quietly took my phone into my father’s office and got on the computer to look for information. It took one search entry to realize how impossible this would be. There were thousands of doctors with the exact same name as my mother’s primary doctor. Apparently, Yi Zhang was one of the most common names in China, and there were hundreds of hospitals and cancer treatment centers claiming to be the best. I would never find out anything useful this way.
Frustrated, I went back to bed and just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do next.
I must have fallen asleep because the next I knew, my room was filled with sunlight and I could hear Jonah in the shower. When I went out into the hallway, the sound of Saturday morning cartoons coming from the living room television made me roll my eyes. Why did boys of all ages love cartoons?
Poking my head in, I saw someone other than Jonah sitting on my couch, but I could only see the back of a head. Although I knew the person was too small to be Victor, I went on high alert.
Slowly I rounded the couch, and Heather and I both spotted each other at the same time.
She sucked in a sharp breath and pressed a hand to her heart. “God, you scared me.” Her big brown eyes blinked rapidly.
“What are you doing here?”
She grinned and pointed to a duffel bag on the floor. “Jonah asked me to bring over some of his stuff this morning.”
“You went to his house?” I asked, which was a pretty dumb question considering the evidence was sitting right there.
“I sneaked in his bedroom window. He always leaves it unlocked.”
So this wasn’t first time she’d done that. That knowledge didn’t sit well with me.
“A lot has happened since I last saw you,” she said evenly.
I snorted at her casual tone. “You could say that.”
“So now you know Jonah is”—she put her head down and whispered—“undercover.” Sitting up straight, she chuckled. “And he just leaves his wallet out right under your nose with his ID in it. Such a rookie mistake. Good for you for taking advantage. You’re smarter than you look.”
I shot her a wry look. “I hear you’re not really in high school either.”
Heather shook her head. “Graduated two years ago, just barely. I’m actually dumber than I look.”
I didn’t know if she was kidding or not about the dumb thing, but I figured she was around nineteen.
We both heard when the bathroom door opened, and Jonah walked out with nothing but a white bath towel wrapped low around his hips. Heather and I bot
h stared, transfixed. Jonah looked like he was sculpted from stone with every muscle visible and defined. His skin was tanned and smooth, and my fingers twitched by my side with the sudden urge to touch him.
“This is low, even for you,” Heather said.
I looked up from Jonah’s chest to find him grinning from ear to ear, causing my face to flood with heat.
“Explaining things to Candy didn’t work for you, so now you’re flaunting your body instead?” Heather shook her head and looked at me, noticing my reaction. “Effective,” she added.
Embarrassed, I rolled my eyes.
Jonah put his hands on his hips, causing his biceps to bulge. “My bag is out here. I forgot to bring it in with me.”
“Right,” Heather said sarcastically as she grabbed the duffel bag and handed it to him.
With a smirk, he took it.
“Why do you need such a big bag?” I asked. “You were only going to stay one night, just until you talked to your father.”
“I haven’t been able to get in touch with him. Thought I’d get some stuff just in case this stretched into another night.” With that, he disappeared into the bathroom again.
“He’s too perfect for his own good,” Heather mused. “It’s a wonder his ego isn’t as big as the iceberg that took out the Titanic.”
I cleared my throat. “It’s big enough.”
“True that.” Heather chuckled and plopped back down on the couch to watch her television show.
“Why can’t he get in touch with his father? Doesn’t the guy carry a phone?”
She shrugged, looking more interested in her cartoon. “By the way, I meant that perfect comment in the most the platonic way possible.”
I came around and sat next to her on the couch. “Right. You couldn’t look away from him either.”
“It’s like staring at a work of art. That doesn’t mean I want to have sex with a painting. Anyway, being his girlfriend would be too frustrating. He never really lets anyone in. I didn’t even know what it looked like when Jonah was into a girl until I saw him with you. I didn’t think he had it in him.”