by Debra Doxer
“What? You think I should give her the play-by-play for each day of my life she missed? That’s seven years, Candy. It could take a while.”
I gave him a pointed look, hoping Lorraine hadn’t heard him.
“Come on. You of all people should understand. You don’t exactly forgive and forget.” He put down the dish he was holding. “She could have written me a letter or sent an e-mail. If she didn’t want to see my father, she could have visited me at my dorm in college. She had options if she wanted to talk to me or see me, and she never tried any of them.”
Although he had a point, I felt the need to defend her. “She was scared and ashamed. She’d made a mistake.”
He picked up the dish again. “Yeah, well, I guess I can understand that, but understanding is easier than forgiving.”
He was right. It was hypocritical of me to tell him to forgive his mother. For so long, I couldn’t forgive Jonah, even though I understood his situation. That was in the past now. He’d earned my forgiveness, and he’d done more than enough to redeem himself. I wondered what Lorraine would have to do to earn Jonah’s forgiveness.
Maybe it was as simple as not leaving him again.
We were finished cleaning up by the time the doorbell rang. Even though I’d just seen him yesterday, Theo was a sight for sore eyes, and he had Heather with him.
I had to admit they were cute standing next to each other. She was pretty and petite, and Theo was around five eight, the same height as me. They fit perfectly together.
“We’re getting married,” Theo announced when they stepped inside the house. “We wanted you to be the first to know.”
My eyes bulged, and so did Jonah’s.
“We want to do it in the same church where Heather’s mother got married. Her father is a preacher, and he’s going to do the ceremony.”
Jonah’s face was wrinkled in confusion. “Her father’s not a preacher.”
“Very funny,” I said, finally understanding. “That’s the plot from A Walk to Remember. How do you even know that? I thought you hated Nicholas Sparks.”
Theo grinned at Jonah, who still had no idea what we were talking about. “We’re not getting married. We’re actually going to rent a cabin on the coast and run away together. Heather is going to take care of me while my rich, uncaring family searches high and low.”
I snorted. “That’s Dying Young.” Jonah still looked lost. “The movie with Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott,” I explained.
“You see way too many cancer movies,” Theo said.
“There are lots out there. It’s a useful plot device, although slightly overused.”
“So everything you’ve said since you walked in here is bullshit?” Jonah asked him.
Theo shrugged. “Bullshit or comedic genius.”
“Bullshit,” Jonah grumbled, and I understood. Theo’s brand of humor took some getting used to.
“I may go to California with Theo and his family. That’s no bullshit,” Heather said, sounding excited.
I looked at Theo, who smiled and shrugged, and I couldn’t help but wonder what Heather was thinking. My first instinct when I met Theo was to stay far away from him because I didn’t want to care about someone I might lose. At the time, I was still too raw from the loss of my mother. I could see why Heather liked Theo, but she was moving full speed ahead toward heartbreak.
Lorraine came out from the kitchen to meet Theo and Heather while Jonah went to get some drinks. Once everyone came back, Heather took me aside. “I can’t believe Jonah’s back with his mother after all this time. And she’s with your dad? How crazy is that? If they got married, Jonah would be your stepbrother.”
I didn’t crack a smile. I hadn’t considered that, but I didn’t like the sound of it.
“Now we know how Jonah got the scar,” she said. “What a terrible story.”
I eyed her sharply. “He didn’t leave anything out when he talked to you, did he?” I hated how sarcastic I sounded because I liked Heather. But I didn’t know her well enough to trust her the way Jonah did.
She gave me a knowing look. “Relax, okay? I’m on your side.”
Relaxing wasn’t really in my repertoire at the moment, but I smiled tightly at her anyway.
When we all came together in the living room, Theo and Heather sat near each other on the couch, and Jonah and I each took a separate chair across from them.
“So I talked to my folks,” Heather began, and we all got quiet. She looked at me. “Would you be willing to let me make a video of you talking about the things Victor’s done to you and your father? We’ll make sure to capture the bruises on your neck too.”
I glanced at Jonah, and he was looking hard at Heather. “Why do you have to record her?”
“When I told my parents what happened, they asked me to get her telling her story on video.”
His eyes narrowed. “Did you tell them everything?”
Heather scowled at him. “No, only the parts you said were okay. I left out the existence of Candy’s mother’s medical files. I made it sound like there was no proof.”
My heart sank at the fact that Jonah had revealed that detail too. “Why would you leave that out?” I asked Heather.
“Because I don’t think your father deserves to be punished any more than you do,” Heather replied.
I wanted to believe her. “What about you?” I asked Jonah. “Do you think he should get off the hook completely?”
After a conflicted moment, Jonah leaned toward me. “If we want to get my father off our backs, we have to convince the organization he’s on a personal vendetta against your father. If we’re going to succeed, your father has to look innocent. The fact that he isn’t hardly even matters anymore.”
“We’ll record Jonah’s mother too,” Heather suggested, “talking about what Victor did to her and how Sebastian helped her. No one will mention the files.”
I looked between them, floored that they were willing to do this. Jonah had done a complete reversal, and Heather was someone I hardly knew. I gave her a grateful look. “Is it possible your parents could get my father released?”
“It depends on who the contact is that’s claiming your father gave information to the Chinese,” Heather said. “If this person is credible, then I doubt it, but I need to know more.”
I watched Jonah from the corner of my eye, wondering how he’d react to my next question. “What about Victor? What will happen to him if your parents believe us?”
“I don’t know,” she answered hesitantly. “There could be some kind of punishment.”
When I looked at Jonah to see his reaction, his gaze was on the floor. “Jonah?” I reached over to touch his arm. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
He sighed and his eyes met mine. “That we have to do this because your father would never hurt you, and we know mine would.”
“But he’s still your father. What might the punishment be?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
We were all watching Jonah, even Theo, who had no jokes to make although he did have a wide-eyed look of disbelief on his face, and I couldn’t blame him. His parents were both schoolteachers, not spies or assassins.
“Are you up to talking about what happened?” Jonah asked me.
My hand fluttered up to my neck as I nodded.
“You sure?”
“Positive,” I said firmly.
After giving me a long look, he turned to Heather. “Make the video.”
She nodded, looking pleased. Then she had me move to the couch, where she recorded me first. I felt awkward, speaking stiffly as I talked about being locked in the freezer at the diner and how scared I was, and then I spoke of that night, and the way Victor looked as if he was trying to kill my father. Lastly, I described his hand wrapping around my neck, and I heard the tremor creep into my voice as my eyes filled.
Lorraine’s tears joined mine as Jonah put his arm around me.
When it was Lorraine’s turn, she asked
that we all leave the room. Only Heather stayed, and the shocked look on her face when we came back in the room probably said more than Lorraine wanted us to know. Jonah appeared stricken as he looked between Heather and the tears his mother was wiping from her cheeks. It was the first sign that he felt something strong for her. Something he kept trying to hide and deny.
It was nearly dusk by the time Theo and Heather decided to leave. Heather planned to drive back to Glenn Valley tonight. Like when she first walked in, she pulled me aside before she left.
“Would you trust me to take your mother’s medical files with me?”
At my surprised look, she lowered her voice even further. “I would never show them directly to my parents or anyone in the organization. I want to try to find those doctors for Theo. That’s all I want them for. I just need a lead, and then you can have them back.”
I bit my lip, unsure. Those files were dangerous.
“This is for Theo. I know I just met him, but it feels like I’ve known him a lot longer. I want to help him. I want to do something just as much as you do.”
I knew exactly how she felt. So had my father. History was repeating. After several warnings about keeping them safe, I agreed to let her take the files against my better judgment. If she could possibly help Theo, I couldn’t tell her no.
“Thank you.” She smiled widely and gave me a hug. “You can tell Jonah if you want, but don’t tell Theo. I don’t want to give him false hope.”
Sighing, I nodded. “Okay, but he knows about it already. I told him, and he doesn’t want to try any more treatments. He wants us all to believe that he’s accepted his fate.”
“He hasn’t accepted shit.” She scowled at the thought. “And I definitely haven’t.”
I got the files and hid them in a bag of leftovers Lorraine insisted they take with them. Heather took the bag and winked at me.
My stomach twisted as I watched her walk out the door with all the evidence anyone needed to convict my father, but Jonah trusted her completely, and I trusted him.
“You okay?” Jonah asked.
As we watched them drive away, I told him that Heather had taken the files and why she wanted them.
He shook his head. “Imagine if someone found a cure for cancer and kept it secret, and only gave it to people who could give something back in return.”
I thought of how many people had the disease, including two I loved so dearly.
“That person could rule the world,” I said.
“Or destroy it,” he muttered.
***
It had been two days since Heather left. Theo had been here each day since to hang out with us and give us updates from Heather because we weren’t using our phones, but our time for having Theo as a go-between was coming to an end. He was leaving for California with his family tomorrow, and Heather was going along.
“So, what do your folks think of Heather?” I asked Theo.
He grinned. “They didn’t think I had it in me. Honestly, neither did I.”
“So that means you two are . . . ?”
“We’re a couple, Candy,” he said, his grin widening at his own words.
“Wow. That’s great.” I knew he had it in him, and I gave him an encouraging smile, glad his parents were accepting her sudden appearance in his life. I accepted it too, and if she was able to use those files to help him, I would be forever grateful to her.
Smiling, Theo turned to Jonah. “Your father nearly got himself arrested by Glenn Valley’s finest.”
Jonah and I both became alert. “What are you talking about?” Jonah asked.
Theo chuckled. “It seems someone put an ad in the paper saying he was recycling used Christmas trees, and anyone who wanted to get rid of theirs should just come and dump it on his front lawn. You’ve got a shit ton of trees in your yard, dude.”
I snorted out a laugh and then covered my mouth with my hand.
“Your dad decked the last guy who tried to leave one.”
Jonah and Theo both looked at me.
“Still at it, huh?” Theo shook his head at me, but Jonah narrowed his eyes.
I shrugged. “I actually forgot about that. I did it a while ago.”
Jonah’s lips turned down. “You’re antagonizing him? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“Probably not,” I replied, recalling how I felt the day I’d placed the ad. Alone. Losing hope.
“Definitely not,” he shot back.
“It’s not like he’ll ever know it was me.” I looked away, unable to meet his eyes.
“You’ll never learn, Candy,” Jonah snapped. Then he stood and left the room.
“Sorry.” Theo cringed. “Didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”
I shrugged, despite the sinking feeling in my stomach. “Maybe I never will learn.”
“Maybe some of us won’t mind.” Theo grinned and gave me a hug before he left.
It was late when Lorraine made us all dinner, and although Jonah chatted and acted as if nothing was wrong, there was a chill in his tone each time he spoke to me. When dinner ended, we all cleaned up and then went to our separate rooms.
Under Lorraine’s watchful eye, Jonah and I had been sleeping in separate rooms, but tonight I felt compelled to go to him. I walked into the office and found him fast asleep, lying on his side on the air mattress. When I slipped under the blanket and pressed the front of my body to the back of his, he stiffened in surprise. But then he relaxed again, and when I draped my arm over his waist, he took my hand in his and held it to his chest, where I could feel his heart beating.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“I know.” Jonah squeezed my hand, telling me we were okay, and that was all I needed to know. After a time, when it was clear neither of us were asleep, he turned and faced me. Cradling my head against his chest, he pulled me in close. It was a silent gesture, but one that was full of meaning. We needed each other, but even more than that, we wanted each other.
When his hand moved to my hip and he dipped down to kiss me, I met each of his caresses with one of my own. In the darkness, every touch of our lips tasted like an apology, each brush of bare skin a promise. Jonah and I were in this together, and nothing could change that.
On my fifth morning at Lorraine’s house, I woke up and reluctantly rolled away from Jonah, rubbing my eyes. A knock sounded at the front door, and Jonah gave me a worried look. It was just after six in the morning.
“Stay here,” he said.
Lorraine came out of her bedroom, watching as Jonah moved past her. A few tense moments later, I heard Theo’s voice coming from the living room. Following Lorraine down the hall, we saw Jonah talking on Theo’s phone as Theo stood there in sweats and a coat with his hair sticking up in all directions, looking like he’d just rolled out of bed.
Jonah glanced at us as he spoke. “Are you still leaving today? Who do they believe?” he asked after listening for several moments. Whatever he heard had him sighing with relief. When he ended the call, he looked at me.
“Heather’s parents watched the videos you and my mother made, and they sent someone to talk to my father.” Rubbing a hand down his face, he sighed. “They don’t like the idea of him going after Sebastian for personal reasons, and they’re willing to look into it.”
He smiled hesitantly, and I could tell he thought this was good news. “Don’t get your hopes up, though,” he hastened to add. “They want to talk to both of our fathers first, and they want to talk to me, but . . .” He paused, unsure of his next words. “The organization doesn’t make decisions based on right or wrong. It makes them selfishly, and it doesn’t like messes.”
I squinted at him, not knowing how to interpret that.
“That could be good for your father, Candy,” he explained. “As long as they believe us.”
I gave him a hesitant smile, but turned away so he couldn’t see tears of hope gathering in my eyes. It was premature to be hopeful, but I couldn’t help it.
“Did they show Victor the videos?” Lorraine asked with a slight tremor in her voice.
“No.” Jonah gave her a reassuring look. “Those videos were only for Heather’s parents. She promised he wouldn’t see them.”
As Jonah’s words sank in, I felt a potent combination of anxiety and restlessness. “When do they want to talk to you?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “Soon. I have to go back.”
My gut clenched at the thought.
“My father’s being questioned now. After what he did to you, they decided to hold him, but I don’t know for how long.”
“Where?” I asked. “The same place they’re keeping my father?”
Jonah nodded. “A building they have about an hour away from here, closer to the city.”
Lorraine looked anxiously at both of us.
New York City. My father wasn’t far away at all and neither was Victor. “If you’re going back, I’m going with you,” I said.
Not appearing surprised, Jonah studied me for a long moment. “Mom, can we have a minute?”
Lorraine looked as if she was about to break down crying at the thought of both of us leaving, but said nothing. She pressed her lips together to hold back what was on her mind before leaving the room.
“What is it?” Jonah asked once we were alone. “Your hands have been fisted by your sides since you walked in here.”
He reached for my hand and uncurled my fingers. The tips were a dark purple.
“Stress,” I explained. When I tried to draw my hand back, he wouldn’t release me.
“I didn’t know stress could affect them this much, and you’re not wearing any Band-Aids.”
“I don’t have the ointment.”
He sighed. “Your prescription. I forgot. I could have gotten it for you when I went back.”
“It’s okay.” I pulled on my hand again and this time he released it. The black, frostbitten skin on my fingers was the least of my worries. “I am going back with you. You’re not talking me out of it.”
“Give me your hands,” he said, holding his out for them.
I sighed, glancing down at his open palms.
Jonah waited patiently. He seemed to have endless patience where I was concerned. After a moment, I laid my hands over his. His fingers closed around mine, and he tugged me to him so that we were pressed together with our hands held firmly between our bodies. Then he rubbed his nose along the side of my neck and breathed warm air onto my skin there.