by Amy Cross
"Worst thing," Len continues, "is that her body'll be hidden by all this snow. Frozen and probably crushed by the sheer weight."
"Let's not talk about bodies," Charles tells him.
"No point ignoring the truth," Len replies. "The girl's dead, and that's all there is to it. I remember when she was a kid, she seemed so normal, but as she grew up something just seemed to go wrong with her and eventually she turned into a right strange one. I used to see her about, and she'd be muttering away to herself as if she thought no-one else could see her. It wouldn't surprise me if she lost her mind and just went wondering off into the woods. Probably froze to death out there, and that's how they'll find her eventually. Just a block of ice..."
"I should go," I say suddenly, getting to my feet. "It's getting late, and I've got a full day tomorrow."
"Perhaps we'll all have some good news," Charles says in a vain attempt to rally morale and counter Len's doom-laden sentiments. "We mustn't give up hope. Lisa Barnes could come walking through the door any moment. She was a smart enough girl, and I'm sure she was able to find a way to keep herself safe when the snow arrived."
Smiling politely, I bid farewell to everyone and head to the door. It's only a little after 10pm, but for once I don't feel like spending a night sitting around listening to local gossip. I never really say much anyway, not unless someone specifically asks me a question, so it's not as if my presence is going to be missed. I just want to get home, get some rest, and hopefully wake up tomorrow to find that Lisa's body has been found neatly hidden in some snowdrift somewhere and the whole goddamn mess is over and done with.
It's a cold night and although the streets have been cleared, there's still plenty of snow all over the place. Mindful of the various injuries I saw in my surgery today, I make my way very carefully along the pavement, keen to ensure that I don't slip. There aren't too many people out tonight, and a fine sprinkling of snow is still falling, but for the most part the storm seems to have passed and all that's left is for the snow to melt. Once that has happened, I'm absolutely certain that the mystery of Lisa's disappearance will be solved. There'll be a period of mourning, and I'm sure various people will wail and moan, but at least things will start to get back to normal.
And I'll never, ever make the mistake of sleeping with a patient again.
As I make my way home, I start to become aware of footsteps nearby, crunching through the snow just a few meters behind me. After reaching the end of the street, I glance over my shoulder, but the sound stops and there's no sign of anyone. Figuring that I must have been hearing an echo of my own steps, I head toward my house, but the second set of footsteps quickly resumes and this time I'm quite certain that it's not an echo. I keep walking, keen not to make a fool of myself by being seen to panic, but once I reach my front door I feel compelled to turn and look back again; as before, there's no sign of anyone, and the second set of footsteps stops dead.
I wait.
Nothing.
Fumbling in my pocket for the key, I let myself in and find Kelly sitting on the sofa, reading a book. I take one final look out at the street, just to make absolutely sure that no-one followed me, and then I push the door shut with a distinct sense of relief.
"You're back early," Kelly says, not looking over at me.
"It was a slow night," I reply, heading through to the kitchen. "There was only one topic of conversation, and it was quite tiring after a while. Old Len was trolling the whole damn pub as usual, and Charles was trying to fire-fight by dragging me into it." I pour myself a glass of wine from the bottle that Kelly had already opened. "Fucking locals," I mutter. "They've got nothing to do all day apart from sitting around gossiping like a bunch of old women."
I take a sip of wine, but moments later I hear Kelly getting up from the sofa. Heading through to the front room, I find her staring out the window.
"Everything okay?" I ask.
"Yeah," she replies, "I just thought I heard someone coming to the door. I could've sworn there were footsteps, but..." She pauses, before turning to me and smiling. "I guess I was wrong. So are you gonna shovel the back garden before we go to bed?"
"I'll do it tomorrow," I tell her.
"Fine," she replies, coming over and planting a kiss on my cheek. "And tomorrow you'll say the same thing, and again the day after, until the snow melts away."
"You know me very well," I reply with a smile.
She pauses. "She's dead, isn't she? The girl who went missing. She has to be, right?"
I nod. "It seems like the most likely explanation."
"Poor thing," she says as she heads through to the bathroom. "What a way to go."
Making my way to the window, I stare out at the front garden. There's no sign of anyone, but I'm convinced I heard footsteps following me through the snow. It's a good job that I don't believe in ghosts, because if I did, I'd probably be coming up with all sorts of wild theories right now. As it is, I guess the snow must change the acoustics of the streets, so those mysterious footsteps probably came from much further away. There's a rational explanation for everything, even if we don't always know that explanation at the time. I grew up in a house where people were far too quick to assume that ghosts were around, and I'm damn well not going to let that kind of nonsense spread into my adult life.
With a sigh, I draw the curtains and head through to the bathroom.
Chapter Six
John
"See these?" the police officer asks, indicating the area around the lock on the cabin door. "They look fresh to me."
It's a cold morning, and although I'm supposed to have the day off, I'm out here at the cabin with the police officer, who wanted to show me something he found when he came to take a look yesterday. On the way here, I was worried that he might have discovered something to link the scene to Lisa Barnes, but now it turns out that he's merely curious about some scratches on the metal plate beneath the door handle. With a faint smile, I take the key out of my pocket and hold it out to show him.
"Watch," I say as I move the key toward the keyhole. I miss deliberately, scraping the end across the metal and causing a faint scratch. "See?" I continue with relief. "How many times do you think that's happened over the years? It's a modern lock and the key easily scrapes around the edge."
"Huh," he replies, taking a step back. "You're right, I guess that probably is the explanation. You know, sometimes I'm just a little short-sighted. I can't see the wood for the trees. Somehow, in my head, I was thinking that she'd been trying to scratch at the door with her fingernails, but that doesn't make sense, does it?"
"It's no problem," I reply, putting the key back into my pocket. "Now that we've -"
"Actually," he says, interrupting me, "since you've found the key, maybe you can unlock the door so we can have a quick look inside?"
I pause for a moment as I realize that, either by accident or by design, this idiot has managed to trick me into admitting that I have the key to the cabin. I pull it out of my pocket and take a look at it, and although it occurs to me for a moment to pretend that this is the wrong key and I was only using it as an example, I quickly realize that I should just get this over with. After all, it's not like there's anything in the damn place. I was always careful to keep the cabin free of any sign of Lisa's presence, just in case Kelly ever came up here.
"Of course," I say, slipping the key into the lock.
As I lead him inside, I quickly glance around to make sure that there are no telltale signs of the last time I was here with Lisa. It was two weeks ago when I brought her up here one lunchtime. She was in a playful mood, constantly making fun of me, but I didn't care; I only wanted one thing, and I got it. She hitched her skirt up and I fucked her from behind against the wall. It was short but sometimes I just need some quick relief, and Lisa - to her credit - always knew how I wanted things to be. In a way, it's a shame she's gone, because it was good to have someone available who I could just call up whenever I needed a little extra fun.
"So how many times a year do you come up here?" the officer says as he walks over and stares at the bed. After a moment, he turns to me. "No offense, Dr. Maynard, but this seems less like a cabin and more like... Well, a kind of shack. I mean, I can't imagine anyone coming up here for fun."
"It's only intended as a shelter," I tell him. "In the old days, men would stay here for several nights in a row while they were watching the land. With the wood burner running, it heats up pretty fast, and then all that matters is that you've brought some decent food. Of course, that's what it was used for in the past, not the present."
"But now you just use it when you need a rest, huh?"
"Barely even that," I reply. "To be honest, when I first moved here and bought this thing, I forced myself to use it so I could get my money's worth. Lately, I've barely been here at all. I wouldn't even mind if it blew away in the wind, which frankly seems like something that could happen. It's not exactly the sturdiest building in the world."
"It's pretty good, though," he replies, heading over to the window and taking a look outside. "It could make the difference between life and death for someone who was stuck out in the elements. There's a roof, and maybe they could get the fire going. Even without food, someone could last a few days up here, couldn't they?"
"I feel awful," I continue. "I mean, I know it's highly unlikely that poor Lisa could have even found this place, but if there's even the slightest chance..." I take a deep breath, hoping to ensure that my regret seems genuine. "I always kept the door locked because I was worried about squatters," I explain, "but it never occurred to me that one day someone might actually need to use the place. Is there any sign at all that she came up here?"
"You mean footprints in the snow?" he asks. "That sort of thing?"
"Anything at all."
He pauses, and for a moment he seems to be eying me with a hint of suspicion. "No," he says eventually. "All the snow around this place was completely undisturbed. I guess she could have come up before the snow hit, in which case there'd be no tracks, but..."
"But what?" I ask.
"Well then she'd maybe be buried in the snow somewhere around here," he continues. "I'd authorize a full dig if I had a clue where to start, but there's so much land to cover. I know this is gonna sound kind of macabre, but at this stage I think there's no way we're going to find her. I checked the weather forecast this morning and it looks like most of the snow should start thawing tomorrow. We need to keep our eyes open in case anything shows up, but I have to be honest with you, Dr. Maynard... This whole situation has just about got me beat. It's terrible luck, what with the snow coming right after she disappeared, but we can't exactly fight the elements, can we?"
"It's a genuine tragedy," I reply.
"We'll find her eventually," he says. "The snow'll thaw, and she'll show up. I wish it could be under better circumstances, but it's hard to see how she could still be alive." He pauses. "Sometimes, life just isn't fair."
"Absolutely not," I reply, even though I can't believe my luck. I've been wondering for so long about how to end things with Lisa without having my life and reputation ripped apart, and now fate and chance have apparently made the problem go away.
Maybe God is real after all.
Chapter Seven
John
"It's thawing," Kelly says, standing at the bedroom window and staring out at the late-night scene. "Damn it, that was fast. I was hoping it'd stick around for a while longer."
"You never know," I reply. "Maybe it'll snow again." Deep down, however, I know that this moment is inevitable. The snow has been a convenient shield, covering up any ugliness that might be about to be revealed, but once the thaw has set in, it's hard to believe that Lisa's body won't turn up somewhere. I'd like to believe that she might have simply run away, and that she's starting a new life in another town. Then again, she'd come back eventually. It's neater and more convenient for me if she's dead.
I guess, in some ways, that makes me a pretty selfish person.
"Come to bed," I say, closing my book and setting it on the nightstand. "You're not planning to stand there and watch it thaw, are you?"
"What about Lisa Barnes?" she asks, still staring out at the snow. "Do you think..." She pauses, before turning to me. "I mean, they're going to find her now, aren't they?"
"I suppose so," I reply. "There's nothing anyone can do about it, though. She's either out there or she isn't, and worrying about her won't change a damn thing."
She stares at me for a moment. "She was a patient of yours, wasn't she?" she asks eventually.
"I can't discuss confidential matters," I reply. "Even if -"
"That's not what I was going to ask," she replies. "It's just..." She pauses again. "Do you actually feel for her, John? Are you upset by the fact that she probably froze to death out there? I'm sorry I'm asking this - hell, I'm sorry I have to ask - but it just seems like whenever I mention her, you get this faint smile that you can't quite hide."
"I'm not smiling now," I tell her.
She stares at me. "Yeah," she adds after a moment, "I think you are. It's so faint, I guess most people wouldn't notice it, but I can see it plain as day. You seem to find things like this amusing."
"No," I say firmly, trying to make sure that I'm definitely not smiling, "I really don't find it amusing. Like you said, it's tragic, but what can we do about it? Sitting here in bed, there's nothing."
"But you were her doctor," she continues, evidently warming to her theme. "Don't you wonder if maybe there was something you could have done differently that might have helped her?"
"I did the right thing," I reply, a little irritated by these questions. "I followed all the textbook advice, and I went out of my way to establish a rapport with her and help her. Obviously I'm sad that it didn't work, but I can't allow those feelings to overwhelm me. At the end of the day, Lisa Barnes was still capable of making her own decisions, and she certainly wasn't at the point where she needed to go back into a psychiatric institution. I did what I could, and I highly doubt that any other doctor would or could have done better."
She stares at me for a moment. "I guess," she says eventually, before coming over and getting into bed. "Sorry, I've just been thinking about it a lot. The thought of that poor girl freezing to death all alone..." Her voice trails off, and it's clear that this is something that affects her deeply, even though I don't think she and Lisa ever even met. "I don't think I can sleep right now," she says eventually. "Do you mind if I stay up and read?"
"Sure," I reply. "I guess you're going to watch the snow thaw after all."
Once she's gone back downstairs, I turn off the lights and roll onto my side. I can hear a constant dripping sound from outside the window, which I guess comes from snow slowly melting on the roof. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow Lisa's body will be found, wherever it is, and then at least there'll be some closure. I made a huge mistake by getting involved with that girl, but I've been given a second chance and there's no way I'm going to throw everything away again. Once the body has been located, things can start to get back to normal, and her death - while tragic and undoubtedly painful - will hopefully be forgotten fairly quickly.
As usual, it doesn't take me long to fall asleep.
Chapter Eight
John
As things turn out, the body of Lisa Barnes is located fairly quickly the following morning. It's not even 10am by the time I get a call from the police, asking me to head down to the old stables on the edge of town and assist in the identification and recovery of a corpse that has been discovered - of all places - beneath a park bench near the forest.
It's her.
I know it's her.
"Her parents are going to identify her once we've taken her to the mortuary," the officer explains as he lifts the police tape so we can get closer to the scene. "That'll be the official identification procedure, but I figured that for now, it'd be useful to get your initial view on things. Having said that, I don't think there's
much mystery about the cause of death. I should warn you, it's not a pretty sight."
I smile politely, but deep down I'm feeling surprisingly calm. Even though I was certain Lisa was dead, it's still a relief to have the news confirmed. Up ahead, there are a dozen or so policemen gathered around a park bench, and enough snow has melted to reveal a body curled up on the grass. I guess she tried to use the bench as cover when the storm was raging, but of course that was a hopeless task. The snow will have fallen all around her, and she probably froze to death slowly over several hours, with no hope of anyone finding her in time.
"It's her, isn't it?" the officer asks as we reach the bench.
Crouching down, I look straight into the corpse's face. Her skin is pale and her hair is filled with ice crystals and slushy snow, while her eyes stare straight ahead with an expression that's a mixture of horror and pain. I pause for a moment, hoping to give the impression that I'm shocked by the sight, but finally I get to my feet.
"Yes," I say after a few more seconds. "I can confirm that this is the body of Lisa Barnes."
"You think she died of exposure?" the officer asks.
"I think she froze," I reply, staring down at the corpse. "When the autopsy is complete, I'm sure this will prove to be a fairly simple case. Tragic, obviously, but simple."
"I'll get the coroner to send the file over when it's ready," he continues. "Just so you can see it."
"That won't be necessary," I reply. "Look at the color of her skin, at the snow all around... There can't be any doubt at all. I mean, unless you find any evidence of foul play, I'd imagine that this is a very open and shut case."