“I saw the queen, Mama,” Izzie says as Katherine carries her out of the room.
“You did? How lovely, darling.”
I smile at the exchange before moving to follow Wren’s advice. Already I can feel the bone-weary fatigue settling over me, as though I’ve spent the whole day fencing. My drawing catches my eye, and as I move to put away the sketchbook, I’m cautious in the handling of it. I place it gently in my trunk, and it suddenly occurs to me. In my excitement to tell Katherine about my newfound ability, I neglected to mention the fact that I was trapped there until Izzie called me back.
However did I manage to return?
Free of the confines of the house, I let out my breath in an appreciative rush as the sunlight touches my skin. Its warmth is so delicious that I immediately plop myself down in the little patch of grass with my face tilted skyward. Roses and jasmine scent the air, and I smile contentedly as the sun brings energy back to me in a rush headier than a full night’s rest.
My fatigue over using so much arcana fades away, and my thoughts return to my drawings. Wren seemed to be right in fearing I was losing control, although, in the first instance, it almost seemed as though my drawing—or the portal?—was trying to tell me something. I think of the grand lady I saw, and it makes me wonder if I truly saw her, or if it’s my admittedly overactive artist’s imagination.
Perhaps even more frighteningly, the second instance of being pulled into my own drawing is something that’s never happened before. Over and over again I think of my actions before being trapped, and each time I’m at a loss as to how it happened. No rune had been drawn, and my arcana hadn’t been consciously summoned. For years now, my abilities have grown stronger, but always I’ve been in control. What was different about this time?
A shadow falls across my face, and I startle. I turn toward the source and find James standing over me, wearing a hesitant smile.
“Forgive the intrusion,” he says, “but you left so quickly after our lesson, and Devi said I would find you out here. I hope I didn’t completely wear you out.”
I start to stand and he holds a hand out to help me. After only a moment’s hesitation, I take it. “I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been, but I’ve since recovered.”
“That’s a relief. We can’t have the debutante exhausted during her own ball.”
A small smile touches my lips. “I’m never too tired for dancing.”
“I hope you will save a dance for me, then,” he says.
I glance away at the flowers and shrubs—anything but his face. “Of course.”
“Has my brother been treating you well?”
I nod and force myself to finally meet his gaze. “He has. My every need has been anticipated.”
James tilts his head, watching me. “I don’t remember our conversations being this … incredibly stiff and polite before.”
My eyes widen, and a surprised laugh escapes me. I’d forgotten how James never hesitates to speak exactly what he’s thinking—etiquette be damned. Unfortunately, I am a peacekeeper. Katherine is the one who isn’t afraid to speak out—even if it’s a painful truth. What am I to say? You kissed me, led me to believe you cared, but cast me aside as soon as the summer was over.
Yes, I think to myself, closing my eyes in frustration, that’s exactly what I should say.
“You must forgive me,” I say instead. “My mind must be on all the things I must do before the ball this evening. In fact, if you’ll excuse me, I really should get dressed.”
He takes out his pocket watch and glances at it. “It will take you three hours to get dressed?” His tone is wry.
“I’m a slow dresser.” I take a step toward the door, but James stops me. I turn toward him reluctantly.
“Lucy, I hope … I hope we can be friends.”
“Of course. Why shouldn’t we be friends?” I force a smile.
Coward, I berate myself.
He takes a step back, his smile not quite as bright. “That’s a relief, then.”
“Do excuse me,” I say and move past him, the words I should have said trapped behind clenched teeth.
I return to the house and head straight for my room.
Once inside, I close the door behind me and lean against it. Well done, Lucy, I think derisively. I’d been given the chance to resolve things, but instead, I’d held my tongue. Of course, the last time I’d confessed to him exactly how I felt, he’d been quick to turn me away. The scene replays in my head, and I grit my teeth as embarrassment hits me like a wave.
“I don’t know what I shall do when you return to Oxford,” I’d said to him. “Who will I fence with?”
“You’re quite right there. Everyone else is afraid of you,” he said.
I laughed. “Don’t tease me.”
He reached out and tugged a strand of my hair. “I’ll miss you, too, Luce.” And then, before I even realized what he meant to do, he had leaned in and kissed me. The first was sweet, gentle. The second was hungrier.
“I love you, James,” I said, my lips swollen from his kiss.
Abruptly, he pulled away. “I cannot tell you how flattering it is to know you care for me, Lucy, but truly, I don’t deserve your admiration.”
The very next day, he’d left for Oxford.
I’d allowed myself a single night to cry burning tears of humiliation before swearing I would never speak to him again.
Of course, such a thing was impossible considering James is Colin’s brother.
THREE
AN unmistakable beauty can be found in the sensory array at any ball: the vibrant colors of elegant gowns, the glittering chandeliers, the lilting music of the symphony, the smell of hundreds of roses and peonies creating a sweet perfume. As this is my debut ball, custom dictates I must be presented to each guest, so I have yet to enjoy any of it. Katherine, Colin, and I stand in a receiving line just outside the ballroom in the gallery. Magnificent paintings of past earls and countesses hang above us, done in rich and somber colors. My gaze continually drifts to the painting directly across from us: two dark-haired boys with an enormous wolfhound between them. As I stare at the beautiful details of the painting, my mind wanders.
I think of my awkward meeting with James in the garden and wince. At least he’d proven a good distraction from my astounding lack of control over my arcana. Once I’d returned to my room from speaking with James, I’d packed up everything in my trunk to keep from being tempted into drawing again—at least for the rest of the night.
Strange, too, that my sweet little niece had such an impact on me as to return me back to the present.
Katherine nudges me subtly with her elbow, and I glance up to find an elegantly dressed lady smiling at me as though waiting for a response.
“How do you do?” I say in a rush, a flare of heat traveling to my cheeks at my blunder. I don’t even know the lady’s name.
After she shakes my proffered hand and enters the ballroom, Katherine leans toward me. “Are you all right? You seem distracted.”
Before I can answer, Colin says, “No doubt she’s grown weary of standing here—as have I.” He lifts his hand toward the guests still waiting to be introduced to me. “Thank you so much for coming. I would like to present my sister-in-law, Lucy Sinclair.”
The guests nod and murmur greetings to me, but their bewildered expressions make it clear they aren’t sure what to make of Colin’s announcement. Having expected to be presented to me by the earl and countess personally, I can understand why being introduced en masse like that might be disconcerting. But then, Colin has always cared very little for the rules of society. Beside me, Katherine sighs.
He holds out an arm to both Katherine and me. “Now, if you will please accompany us into the ballroom.”
The guests follow, still casting confused glances at one another.
Though the ballroom is already crowded with finely dressed ladies and gentlemen, Colin cuts through the crush as easily as the prow of a mighty ship sails through cal
m water. He leads us to the relatively quiet area of the ballroom where Papa has been waiting, and I’m momentarily taken aback by the pride shining in Papa’s eyes.
“You look beautiful, Lucy,” Papa says. “I cannot believe it’s already time for your own debut. Your mother would be beside herself with joy.”
I slip my hand into his big, warm one. “I wish she were here, too.”
He gives my hand a squeeze, his eyes a bit red.
“Robert!” Katherine exclaims from behind me, and I turn. Dressed in his navy blue full dress uniform, my brother looks more dashing than ever. Katherine shakes her head, a wide grin on her face. “You told me you couldn’t get away.”
The giddy excitement I have at seeing Robert for the first time in more than a year bursts forth as I wrap my arms around him.
Robert chuckles and kisses my forehead. “I’m so sorry I’m late, Luce. My leave began much later than anticipated.” He takes a step back. “But don’t you look beautiful.”
“And you’re handsomer than ever,” I say with a wide smile. “You certainly need not apologize for being late. I’m only glad you’re in town at all.”
“I’m so happy to see you,” Katherine says, placing her hand on his arm.
He leans forward and gives her a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve missed you, too, Wren.”
Papa’s smile is a bit watery, and I know he is missing Mama terribly. He puts his hand on Rob’s shoulder. “It’s wonderful to have us all here together.”
I am smiling so hard my cheeks hurt, but then James joins us, and I suddenly have a fascination with the gleaming parquet floors at our feet. I will myself to stop being embarrassed in his presence, but all I can think about is his stolen kiss and my ardent confession. Katherine will be sure to notice my continued unease around him, which can only be disastrous considering she knows nothing of the kiss, and both she and Colin will be … furious? Disappointed? I’m unsure, and I’d really rather not find out.
“You did well coming to me to keep your secret,” James is saying to Rob as I drag my attention back to the conversation at hand. “We managed to surprise them, which is a lot more than Colin would have done for you,” he says with a grin in his older brother’s direction. “He can’t keep a secret any better than a lady’s maid. He tells Katherine everything.”
Katherine laughs, but Colin only shakes his head at their teasing.
The last few notes of the prelude the symphony has been playing drift away, signaling the dancing will soon begin. “Should we move closer to the dance floor?” I ask, eager to join in.
Colin takes a step forward. “Just a moment, Lucy, if you please,” he says, holding up a card with gilded edges attached to a white satin ribbon. “I have your dance card here.”
“Oh yes … thank you,” I say hesitantly.
“Oh, Colin,” my sister mutters under her breath.
He ties it onto my wrist and steps back. “There. As you can see, it’s already filled, so there’s no need for you to seek out any dance partners tonight.”
I glance down at the card. On one side is a list of the types of dance, and on the other is a list of names.
Waltz Robert Sinclair
Quadrille Sir Henry Hawthorne
Waltz James Wyndam
Quadrille Robert Sinclair
Waltz Lord Colin Thornewood
Quadrille Lord Edward Sinclair
All the names are written in Colin’s bold handwriting. “How did you know Robert would be here?”
“I didn’t,” Colin says, “but I knew your sister would fill in a name if I didn’t.”
No doubt she wouldn’t choose only family, either. Well, all except one. “Who is Sir Hawthorne?” I ask.
Colin smiles. “Sir Hawthorne is the gentleman over by the window holding court.” I follow his line of sight to an older, rather portly gentleman making sweeping arm gestures to a small group of people surrounding him. His mustache is bushier than Papa’s. He’s also closer to Papa’s age than my own. I open and close my mouth several times, unsure what to say.
“I told you she’d be upset,” Katherine says, glaring at Colin and Papa in turn.
“Do not be cross, darling,” Colin says. “We discussed this. We’re not taking any chances this time.”
“Very true,” Papa says firmly. “Making a match is the last thing we need to concern ourselves about. Lucy should enjoy the Season, but she’s much too young for marriage.”
“We wanted to give her the chance to enjoy the dances without worrying about some young lord pushing his suit,” Colin says to Papa.
After they’ve discussed my fate in front of me as though I’m either a small child or someone who is very deaf, I clear my throat. “I appreciate everyone’s concern, but it’s only a dance. In the future, I’m sure I can find my own partner without any assistance.”
“There,” Katherine says, “you see? No more meddling.” She turns to Robert. “Go on and dance with her, Robert. You’re first up on that ridiculous dance card my husband insisted upon.”
Robert makes a big show of bowing in front of me and offering his arm. I take it with a smile.
“They mean well,” he says when we are far enough away that they cannot hear.
“Oh, I’m sure they do.”
We take our places on the dance floor, and Rob takes my hand in his. As the first lilting notes of the waltz begin, we join the other dancers in twirling about the floor. I may not be dancing with a dashing suitor, but still, I feel my heart lift. Rob smiles down at me, and it reminds me of when we were small. He helped teach me to dance, patiently spending hours with my governess and me, until I learned each of the steps. I tell him so, and his smile widens.
“You were such a sweet little thing. Robbie, you called me. You were the only one I’d let call me that.”
I laugh. “Are you saying I’m no longer sweet?”
“I’m saying you’re no longer little. Don’t think I missed the way you looked when James joined us.” His eyes meet mine knowingly. “Care to explain, little sister?”
I glance away. “Surely you don’t want to hear about all that. Tell me of officer’s training at Cambridge.”
“Shooting practice, marching, rigorous physical exercise. There. Your turn.”
“I believe this dance is about to end,” I say. I stare at the symphony and will them to cease playing.
“He’s a playboy, Luce,” Rob says, his expression more serious. “He’s my friend, but I’ve seen a different side of him than you have.”
Finally, the last few strokes of the violin signal the end of the waltz, but Rob continues to watch me, waiting for a response.
“There’s nothing to explain,” I say reluctantly. “I had a schoolgirl’s infatuation with him two summers ago and made the mistake of confessing that to him. Now, I find I’m embarrassed to be around him.”
He offers his arm to escort me off the dance floor, but his steps are painfully slow. “There must be more than that.”
I grit my teeth for a moment. Rob will never rest until he extracts every detail from me.
“Very well, I shall tell you, but you must promise not to breathe a word of it to Wren or Colin.”
He nods once. “I promise.”
“He kissed me, and then I foolishly told him how I felt, but he turned me away and hurried back to Oxford.”
Rob lets out his breath in a sympathetic sigh. “Shall I rough him up for you?”
I let out a horrified laugh. “No, of course not. I harbor no ill-will toward him.” Rob glances down at me with a single eyebrow raised. “Well, only a little. I’m sure it won’t be long before the memories never even enter my mind.”
“My offer still stands,” Rob says, but he thankfully keeps his voice hushed as we return to Katherine and Colin. Katherine laughs at something Colin says, and her mirth lights up her eyes. “Returned safe and sound,” he says louder to Colin.
Katherine rolls her eyes, but Colin smiles. “Glad to hear it. If you’ll
come with me, Lucy, I’ll introduce you to Sir Hawthorne for the quadrille.”
“Colin,” Katherine says, “surely you won’t continue to have her uphold her dance card?”
“It’s fine,” I say. “It would be very rude indeed if I left Sir Hawthorne in a lurch.”
Colin kisses Katherine’s cheek. “There, you see? All is well.” He offers his arm to me. “Shall we?”
He leads me to the portly gentleman he’d pointed out earlier.
“Hi-ho, Lord Thornewood,” Sir Hawthorne says in a booming voice. When nearly everyone around us turns to gape, I have to resist searching for a hole to disappear into. “I haven’t seen you in so many years, I’m surprised I recognized you so quickly. Though that arrogant look you always wear is very difficult to forget.” He claps Colin on the back and turns his attention to me. “Ah, and who is this? Surely not your wife?”
“This is the Honorable Lucy Sinclair. My sister-in-law,” Colin says with an unimpressed tone that suggests either he is masking his reaction to this outspoken man or he is used to his idiosyncrasies. “This is her celebratory debut ball, if you’ll recall. Lucy, this is Sir Henry Hawthorne.”
“What blinding beauty,” he says as I curtsy. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.”
He delivers these Shakespearean lines as though he is upon a stage, and I shoot an accusing glare at Colin. It is quite obvious that what he considers an “interesting” dance partner is very different from my own definition.
“You are very kind, my lord, but I dare say I cannot compete with the beauty of nature.”
“So humble! Truly,” he says to Colin, “she is a treasure.”
Colin favors me with a rare smile. “She is indeed.”
“I hope you will agree to a dance with me, my dear Miss Sinclair,” Sir Hawthorne says, his watery blue eyes lighting up in an almost boyish anticipation.
“You needn’t ask, sir, your name is already written on my dance card,” I say, not unkindly.
“Capital!” he says, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Come, my fair lady,” Sir Hawthorne’s voice booms across the ballroom. “We will dance until the floor blurs underneath our intrepid feet.”
The Order of the Eternal Sun Page 3