Romance: Sports Romance: ON SIDE (Secret Baby Pregnancy Football Romance) (Contemporary New Adult Fiction)

by Raven Monet

  That argument was something that I wanted to erase from my memory forever!

  Dexter had tried to contact me on many, many occasions over the months, but I just didn’t want to know. I might have missed him like crazy, but I hated him for what he’d put me through. I had been falling for him, growing serious feelings for him, and he only saw me as a pawn in the game. He didn’t deserve to know anything about me or my baby.

  He probably wasn’t ringing up for that anyway. He probably just saw me as good to go, useful for a bit of fun.

  Urgh, I hated who he had turned me into.

  “It’s a little girl.” The doctor turned to smile at me, and my heart lifted into my throat. A tear fell from my eye and trickled down my cheek. I was scared – absolutely terrified about motherhood – but I was excited too. This was going to be an adventure, and I couldn’t wait.

  Who knew, this might be something that I would actually be amazing at. Maybe motherhood would be my life’s purpose. I hadn’t even had my baby yet, and I already knew that I would give her my life.

  “And she looks very healthy, which is wonderful news.”

  As I looked at the grainy black and white image on the screen, nothing else mattered. It wasn’t important how this little girl had come into being, just that she was. I was going to give her the best life, no matter what it took. I didn’t need Dexter, or my father, to do that. I could do it all by myself.

  I wasn’t sure how, but I’d figure that out.

  I felt an inner strength grow inside me that had never been before, and I grinned inanely at the doctor. “Thank you,” I said breathily. “Thank you so much.” I looked at the screen once more. “Can I have a picture?”

  “Of course.” He set up the machine so that the image of my little girl began to print. “So, do you have any ideas for names yet?” He began making conversation with me, which was sweet, but I didn’t want to discuss my daughter with anyone. I felt like she was mine, and mine alone, and I didn’t want to share her with anyone.

  “No, not yet.”

  As he handed me the image, and I walked outside the hospital with it, I clutched it to my chest, knowing that my life was on its way to being complete. It might have been a mess and a shambles at the moment, but it wouldn’t be. I was determined to make it amazing, no matter what it took.

  Chapter Eleven – Dexter

  Nothing made sense anymore; my entire life was a mess. Lori wouldn’t talk to me, my empire was falling apart underneath me, and I had no idea what to do. I needed to make some massive changes in my life, but I didn’t know where to start.

  It didn’t matter that I had no idea where Lori was, or what was going on with her life, I knew that she was out there somewhere, carrying my baby, and that was enough to make me want more. I didn’t want this criminal lifestyle anymore; I wanted to go on the straight and narrow. Even if Lori never let me see my baby, I wanted to be a positive role model for my child. I wanted to be the best man that I could possibly be, and I couldn’t do that until I shook everything up.

  “What’cha doing?” Kev wandered over and asked me. My home was filled to the brim with people as normal, but now it was pissing me off. I used to love and crave the company, but now I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to be surrounded by druggies and drunks – I couldn’t change until they were all gone.

  The people I associated with were a massive part of the problem, and I needed them gone.

  They’d all been tiptoeing around me after the Empire Technology plan fell apart – even though none of them knew the real details – so I knew they wouldn’t be totally offended if I had a little outburst. They would just put it down to me slowly losing it.

  “I want everyone to get out,” I said to him, quietly.

  “Huh?” He leaned in closer to me.

  “I want everyone to get the fuck out!” I yelled. “Will you all just leave? I need some God damn time to myself, and you’re all making so much fucking noise.”

  “Okay, woah bro.” Kev patted my shoulder. “We’ll go. Can I do anything to help?”

  “No.” I snapped, much harsher than I intended. “Just leave.”

  A few moments later, I was finally by myself, and I could get to work on my newest plan. I sat down at the table that sat in my dining room, deciding that the best place to start was to note down everything that I wanted to get rid of. Then I would work on where I wanted to go next. It was going to be a massive, arduous task, but it was absolutely essential.

  Once I knew where I was, and where I wanted to be, I could work out the steps to get there.

  ***

  I’d never worked so damn hard in my entire life. Even building up my criminal empire had been easier than this, but that was because I found it simple. This was difficult, but it was also positive.

  I was slowly riding my life of the toxicity, of everything that was bad. It was challenging because there was so damn much of it, but I knew that I had to get through it all to come up with the outcome I wanted.

  I wasn’t even doing it for Lori anymore – I knew there was very little chance that she would ever take me back after what I’d done, and I needed to accept that. I wasn’t just doing it for the baby either; I was doing it for me. For the first time ever, I wanted more. I wanted to be the best man that I could be, and I was finally focusing all of my energy into achieving that.

  It felt damn good too!

  Chapter Twelve – Lori

  I stood outside the Empire Technology office, wishing that I could just go inside and speak to my dad, but things were still too strained between us. He still hadn’t forgiven me for what he saw as a betrayal. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t known who Dexter was; his stubborn mind was made up. I rubbed my swollen belly, hoping that once this baby came – which wouldn’t be long now – the rift would start to heal.

  I was certain that he wouldn’t be able to resist a newborn, his granddaughter, however, mad he was.

  “Lori?” A meek voice rang out from behind me, causing me to spin around quickly. There I saw a face that I hadn’t been graced with for a very long time, and it only took one sighting for all of my negative feelings to float away. The look in his eyes had me melting for him all over again – the anger, the upset, the frustration... it all became nothing.

  “Dexter?” I gasped. He’d called me and texted me a lot, but he hadn’t actually come to see me. He’d respected my wishes that much, for which I’d been grateful for. But now that I was looking at him, it was difficult to remember why. “What are you doing here?”

  “Look, I know I don’t deserve it, but can I please have a minute of your time?” He looked so different – the arrogance, the cockiness, it was all gone. He seemed raw and vulnerable, and I couldn’t stop my heart from wanting to reach out to him.

  He was the father of my child. Whatever he’d done, I couldn’t deny him the chance to explain. I owed him, and our daughter, that much.

  “Okay,” I replied simply. “But I want total honesty from you. No more lies, no more bullshit.”

  “Of course.”

  He led me to a nearby cafe, where he brought me a drink. Then he sat in front of me and smiled weakly at me. “Okay, I don’t know where to begin.” He paused thoughtfully, before starting at what I assumed was the beginning. “My original plan was to take down your father’s company, I admit that, but you – and what we had – was never a part of that. My feelings for you were real. I’m sorry that you got caught in the crossfire of my shitty decisions.”

  I nodded, gulping down all the emotion that flooded through me. I wanted so desperately to believe what he was saying, but I had to hold myself back. I needed to be smart; I couldn’t let my heart rule me again. That had never worked out in my favor!

  “Ever since that day, I’ve been trying to sort my life out. I don’t expect you to take me back, but I want to be a good role model to our child. I’ve sold all my businesses and set aside all my shadier activities. Now, I’m building up my own company from scratch.
A marketing company – working with you made me see that I had a talent in that area.”

  We smiled at each other at the memories of our marketing meetings, and where they led.

  “I don’t expect you to give me any sort of shot...”

  “A girl.” I jumped in, interrupting him. “We’re having a girl.”

  “Oh my God, really?” Tears filled his eyes. “A girl?”

  I couldn’t help but grin at him. This felt like us, the us we’d been before it all went to hell and I realized how much I missed it. I missed him. Sure, he’d done some crappy stuff, but it seemed like he was doing his best to change. I wanted to believe him; I wanted to try once more. I hadn’t expected that when I came here, but the feeling was strong now.

  I put my hand over his, hoping that he would take the hint, and he leaned in to kiss me, but just before his lips hit mine, I screamed out in agony.

  “What’s wrong?” He panicked, grabbing hold of me.

  “Ooh.” A pool of water gathered at my feet. “My waters have broken. The baby is coming!”

  Open play

  By Cole Johnson

  Copyright © 2016

  Chapter One

  As I sat in the cab of my pickup truck, the gun in my hands felt like a cold, steel answer to my prayers and all I had to do was gently squeeze the trigger for all my problems to disappear. I fought the warm tear that attempted to spring forth from the corner of my right eye but could only admit defeat as I felt it run down my cheek and drip off the tip of my chin. Trembling, I pressed the tip of the barrel into my temple as I groaned, feeling the ache caused by the pressure of the steel into the tender flesh on the side of my head. Telling myself that there was no other way, I pictured my mother’s face and how she would react when I revealed to her a very horrific truth.

  I had an image to uphold but when you combine that with the extreme conservative and traditional values that my family held in such high regard, there was no way around the fact that someone was going to get hurt. If I kept my true feelings to myself, I would spiral into another pit of despair and self-hatred that would eventually lead me to place a gun to my head. Funny that the opposite path led to the same destination and as a scorned chuckle escaped my lips I tossed the gun into the glove compartment and screamed,

  “Fucking pussy!” If I didn’t even have the courage to admit to my own mother and father that I am gay, how was I supposed to work up the balls to pull the trigger? There is no way in hell that Margaret and Harold Drake would accept the fact that their firstborn son was a homosexual so I would have to keep that tidbit to myself for a while longer. For now, I would take a deep breath and head to the stadium for warmups because I had a game to win. Being the quarterback for the team that was one game away from securing a spot in the Super Bowl, I had to get my shit together and be the man my team needed me to be for just a few more hours. Chad Drake, star of the Drillers and All-American Good Guy, was nothing more than a fraud and I couldn’t hide it any longer nor could I free myself from the shackles that bound me to the truth. If I came forward and sought my own happiness so many people would be disappointed in me but none other than my parents, who were no less than saints in the eyes of so many.

  Putting my hand on the helmet in the seat to my right, I shook my head as I said,

  “Get em, Drillers.” Turning the key, I wiped my face with the back of my hand and placed my foot on the brake before shifting into reverse and backing out of my garage. The ride to the stadium would only take me about fifteen minutes, which would give me time to get my head together and shake off the fact that I’d just had a chrome .45 to my head. Once before, I worked up the nerve to pull out the gun but couldn’t manage the courage to place it to my head and what scared me the most is that maybe next time, I’ll be a bit stronger than I was this time. If I didn’t do something with my inner demons, there was no telling how bad I could become and I didn’t really want to know. I wasn’t really a bad guy or one of the crazy men who always talked about killing themselves to get much-needed attention. The more normal, on top of things and seemingly perfect I presented myself, the better the outcome in my daily life and as long as I didn’t let the fact that I was utterly alone and living a lie bother me, I would be just fine.

  Sounds of electric guitar blared through the speakers of my heavy duty vehicle as the tires roared along the highway and I turned up the air conditioning, blowing the airstream at my face with a tilt of the vent. After a bit of cool air and good tunes, I would be back to normal as far as the naked eye was concerned and once I finished warming up, most would be pushed to the back of my mind to allow me to concentrate on what must be done. Winning had always come easily to me and once I felt the rush of the game, I would be operating at more than one hundred percent. The smell of the ball, roar of the crowd and energy of the men I’ve come to know as my brothers all fed me with an intense vibe that told me I could take over the world. Only on the field could I allow myself to feel alive and be completely myself, sexual orientation aside and leave it all out there with the blood, sweat, and tears. Under the protection of my helmet, I could hide my pain and use it to throw faster and run harder and allow me to turn the pain I felt on the inside into power. Fueled by the knowledge that when I left the field, everything would return to shit, I knew that I had to spend that time living to the fullest which was my secret behind my three, previous Super Bowl rings.

  As I walked to the locker room, I adjusted the bag on my shoulder and made sure that I showed no signs of weakness or doubt and present my brothers with a confident and reliable quarterback. Whoops and hollers greeted me as I walked through the large metal door, heading to my locker as I bumped fists and met my team with a smile. If they’d seen the faintest sign of fragility in my eyes, the entire momentum that we’d built would be ruined and I couldn’t take the risk of them seeing anything other than the vigor and strength that had gotten us thus far this season. After winning this game, we would play the Super Bowl and finally, be able to take a much-needed break from the constant physical stress that we put our bodies under during regular season. A beach somewhere was what I needed but I still had work to do before I could relax and my first order of business was getting my team pumped about this game and the fact that we were so close to another championship.

  I opened my locker and tossed my bag into the floor as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, telling my bright, blue eyes that they were about to see our team grab another victory. After changing into my uniform and gearing up for the game with a pep talk from our coach, Bill Riggs, we took the field filled with the confidence and determination to leave with nothing less than a win. With my team by my side, there was nothing that we couldn’t accomplish and we proved it when we beat the Wolverines 36-6, securing out a spot in the Super Bowl and giving myself the added self-assurance that I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t as worthless as I’d originally thought.

  Chapter Two

  As I awoke the following morning, I was greeted with aches and pains from the game on the night prior, a regular occurrence but one well worth the trouble in my opinion. The pain from being hit and shoved, falling on the ground and having the air knocked out of me all made me remember that I’m alive and somewhat important. My team needed me and as long as I had them on my side I felt as if I could face anything that was thrown at me, which was another reason why I could never come forth about my truth. Something like a gay quarterback would surely ruin me and possibly the whole team and I couldn’t risk hurting the men I knew as my brothers. Keeping my secret was the utmost important factor in maintaining a functional life, so as long as I could continue the illusion of a hetero status, everything should remain in order.

  I owned a beautiful home with a three car garage and four fucking bathrooms. Who needs four bathrooms? Apparently, I do and the fact that the master bath housed a bathtub with whirlpool jets and a bidet alongside the toilet was one of the selling factors for me. I had an unusual obsession with bathrooms and felt
as if that was the one room of the home where I could be myself, often pampering myself with a long, hot bath infused with aromatherapy oils. There were times when random women would accompany me home and I’d treat them like princesses by drawing them a bubble bath then feed them chocolate covered strawberries. I love to be in the kitchen but don’t have anyone to prepare it for so when I felt a bit lonely, I would keep up appearances of being a single, debonair playboy. Most women weren’t looking for a sexual connection but rather a person that could see them for who they are and if anyone could be nice to a woman and not try to sleep with her, that was me. I’d wash her back and hair, rub her shoulders, massage her down with oils after her bath and never once allow sex to cross my mind. I’ll admit that I did occasionally allow myself the romantic indulgences of women but in my heart, I always yearned for the touch of a man. The main part of being gay is having sex with other men but that’s one milestone I’d yet to reach in my life. Fear of being found out always loomed in the forefront of my mind and I was terrified that my secret would be leaked in search of fifteen minutes of fame. The person that comes forward and outs me will definitely be remembered in the tabloids for quite a while and that’s just one more reason to keep my urges to myself.

  Looking out the vast acreage that accompanied my home, I pressed my forehead against the large picture window that faced east and allowed my mind to wander far away from this place and the stresses that plagued me on a daily basis. Only in my head could I escape for a moment and truly be free but times like these were few and far between. As thoughts of training, the Super Bowl and impending pressure to once again be flawless ran through my mind, I sighed as I opened my eyes and went to the sofa so I could watch a bit of television before I worked up the desire to jog around my neighborhood. Even though I didn’t have practice this morning, I still had to make sure my body stayed in tip-top shape and a few miles around the side streets of the residential area was just what the doctor ordered.