“Emma.” Amy cleared her throat and clutched her hands together to still their trembling. She did her best to inject some excitement into her voice. “I got some fabulous news today.”
Emma tilted her head. Despite the late hour her eyes were bright and inquisitive. “You did?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Amy forced a smile to her face. “The restaurant offered me a full-time position.”
“That’s good,” Emma said. “Right?”
“Very good.” The tightness in Amy’s chest made it difficult to speak. She leaned forward, brushing Emma’s silky hair back from her sweet face. “Unfortunately it’s going to take a lot of my time.”
“I’ll help,” Emma said. “I’m a good helper.”
Amy’s heart clenched. “Yes, you are.”
Damn Dan and his misguided attempt to protect his little girl.
Amy drew a ragged breath. This wasn’t going at all the way she hoped. She tried a different tactic. “You remember my aunt Verna?”
Emma nodded. “She gave me your stinky.”
Startled, Amy sat back. “Stinky?”
“It goes down the steps.”
“Oh, you mean Slinky.” Her aunt had won the girl over with that gift. “Anyway.” Amy took a deep breath. “Aunt Verna has a new house and she wants me to live with her.”
Emma’s tiny brow furrowed. “But you live here.”
At that moment, Amy would have given anything to go back to the way it used to be—when Dan was only her employer and not her lover, when life was simple and uncomplicated. How had she let her own desire blind her to what was really important?
“I know. But my aunt needs me.” Amy took Emma’s hand. “But I’ll be around so much you won’t even have a chance to miss me.”
Tears welled up in Emma’s blue eyes. “I don’t want you to leave.”
Amy swallowed past the lump in her throat. “We’ll see each other all the time. I promise.”
“I love you.” Emma’s voice trembled.
“I love you, too, princess.” Amy brushed her tears away with the back of her hand. “That will never change.”
“Promise?”
Amy wanted to sob at the trust in the little girl’s eyes.
“I promise. I’ll always be in your heart,” Amy said. “And you’ll always be in mine.”
She bent over and kissed the little girl’s forehead, her own tears mingling with Emma’s. She sat at the bedside for the longest time, stroking the child’s hair and murmuring words of reassurance until Emma drifted off to sleep.
If there was a way she could stay and retain her dignity, Amy would do it for the sake of Emma. But Emma deserved a better role model than a woman who’d let a man use her.
Amy deserved better, too. That’s why, after she told Dan just what she thought of him and his deception, she was walking out the door.
Dan leaned back in his favorite chair, his fingers laced behind his head. He hoped he’d read all the signs correctly and that Amy was upstairs now telling Emma about the engagement.
While he’d thought they’d tell Emma together, when Amy said she wanted to tuck in Emma alone, he didn’t protest. Amy had always been very sensitive to Emma’s feelings, and if she felt broaching the subject one-on-one was best, he’d defer to her judgment.
He’d never have been able to do that with Tess. Children to her were mysterious creatures. She’d loved Emma to death but she’d never understood Emma’s sensitive nature. Amy, on the other hand, knew just how to handle the little girl, probably because she and Emma were so much alike.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Dan’s pulse quickened. Let the celebration begin. He knew Amy wouldn’t sleep with him, not with Emma in the house. But he might be able to steal a kiss or two…
The door to the parlor opened and Dan stood, a welcoming smile already on his lips. But his smile faded at Amy’s tear-streaked face. It was obvious by the bleak look in Amy’s eyes that Emma hadn’t taken the news well.
Dan hurried across the room, knowing whatever objections Emma had could be easily dealt with. The last thing he wanted was for Amy to be discouraged.
“She’ll come around.” Dan reached for Amy, surprised when she jerked away. For Amy to be this upset, Emma must have pitched an all-out fit. “I’ll talk to her.”
“I think you better,” Amy said, her voice cool and measured. “But first we need to talk.”
Dan wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her that this would all work out, but her stiff body posture and crossed arms clearly said “hands off.”
“I’m moving out,” Amy said. “I know an older woman who’s in between assignments who’ll be happy to help you out while you look for someone permanent.”
Dan’s overstressed mind fought to make sense of what she was saying.
“Move out?” He pulled his brows together in puzzlement. “You mean until after the wedding?”
“There’s not going to be a wedding,” Amy said flatly.
Now she was talking crazy. Emma loved Amy. Whatever Emma had said to upset Amy, she couldn’t have meant. “What did Emma say?”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with her.” Amy’s voice rose. “It’s about you and why you want to marry me.”
Dan’s blood turned to ice.
She’d overheard his conversation with Jake. That had to be the explanation. Dan tried to remember what Jake had said—and what he’d said—but, at the moment, his rioting emotions seemed to be short-circuiting his brain.
“I know about Emma’s grandparents and your fear that if anything happened to you they might get custody,” she said when he remained silent.
“That wasn’t why I asked you to marry me.” The words tumbled from his lips. “I admit that may have started me thinking about marriage, but that isn’t why I asked you.”
She opened her mouth, then shut it, the momentary indecision giving him hope. He gestured to the sofa. “Why don’t we sit down and talk?”
But Amy didn’t even glance in the sofa’s direction. “I just have one question.”
“Anything.” He found himself encouraged by the continuing dialogue. If he could just keep her here and talking, he knew they could work things out.
“Do you love me, Dan?” Amy’s gaze met his. “Not as a friend, but the way a man should love a woman he wants to marry.”
Dan paused and tried to convince himself that he could say yes and have it not be a lie. He did care for Amy and compared to some of his friends, his feelings went far beyond what they appeared to feel for their wives.
Dan opened his mouth but Amy spoke first. “The way you loved Tess.”
Damn.
Why did she have to bring up Tess? What he’d felt for his wife had been a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
“Amy, I—” Dan reached out to her, then let his hand drop. “You know how I felt about Tess.”
A sad little smile touched Amy’s lips. “I want that, too. I want someone who’s crazy about me. Someone who can’t live without me.”
Her lips began to tremble. Swallowing a sob, Amy turned on her heel and ran down the hall.
“Don’t go. Please.” Dan hurried after her, his heart in his throat. His panic increased when he saw her bags sitting on the kitchen floor. “We can make this work.”
“We could.” Amy turned toward him, her eyes reflecting her pain. “But we’re not. I’m not going to spend my life being second best to a dead woman.”
“You’re not—” He stopped himself.
“I have dreams, too,” Amy said. “Things that are important to me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The job at Chez Gladines.” Amy lifted her chin. “Did you even once stop to ask me what I wanted to do, what I thought would be best?”
The accusatory tone took Dan by surprise. His temper surged.
“I thought getting married was what you wanted.” Hurt mingled with his anger. “I thought you liked taking care of our home and being with me. But
you’re just like Tess. Not content to be a wife and mother. Always wanting more.”
The words came from his lips, but Dan couldn’t believe he’d said them. Couldn’t believe he’d thought them.
“I do want more.” Amy met his gaze. “I want your love. I want your support. I don’t have either. That’s why the engagement’s off.”
Chapter Seventeen
Amy hadn’t raised her voice above a normal conversational level but tension hung thick in the air. Though she’d done a good job of keeping her composure, Amy was a quivering mass of nerves inside.
She couldn’t imagine walking out of the house that had been her home for the past three years. She couldn’t imagine leaving Emma. And she couldn’t imagine leaving Dan. Or at least the Dan she thought she loved. But she couldn’t stay now. Her heart hardened against the pain. She’d respected Dan. She’d trusted him. It only made his betrayal the harder to bear.
“We can work this out.” Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.
Amy sighed. “How, Dan? Are you going to make yourself love me?”
After what he’d done, after what he’d left unsaid, pulling the ring off her finger and handing it to him should have been easy. But still she hesitated.
“I was afraid if anything happened to me, Tess’s parents would fight for custody.” A hint of desperation filled Dan’s voice. “You know what they’re like.”
“I thought I was in your will as her guardian?”
“You are,” Dan said. “But Gwen made it clear that she’d never let a nonrelative raise Emma.”
“I have to hand it to you. Your plan almost worked.” Slipping off the ring, Amy held it out to him. “Take it.”
“I don’t want it.” He lifted his chin. “I gave it to you.”
Amy glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. Steven should be here any minute to pick her up. Not that she was rushing because of that. If she thought the wall between them could be scaled by simply talking, she’d stay all night.
But Dan didn’t love her. There was nothing to discuss.
Amy placed the ring on the counter, then turned to Dan. “I left Aunt Verna’s address, as well as the name of the woman I mentioned, on the dresser in my room. You can send my last paycheck to Verna’s. I’ll be staying with her until I find a place of my own.”
Before the last of the words had left her mouth, Dan was beside her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. For a second Amy just stood there, absorbing the warmth from his body, breathing in the familiar spicy scent of his cologne, feeling his strength.
“I don’t want you to leave.” Dan whispered against her hair. “You’re my best friend. Can’t we build on that?”
A horn honked, but when Amy tried to slip from Dan’s embrace, his arms remained tightly locked around her.
“It’s too late,” Amy said, her voice hardly above a whisper. “You know as well as I do that we can’t go back to the way it was before.”
Dan stood motionless, his heart beating a rapid rhythm against her. “What about Emma?”
Amy hesitated. A clean break might be the easiest for her but she knew that wouldn’t be the best for Emma.
“I’d like to continue to be a part of her life,” Amy said, the words coming out in a rush. “She never knew things had gotten…more intense between you and me…so it shouldn’t be awkward. That is, if you don’t mind.”
“I’d like that.” Dan cleared his throat. “She’s going to miss you.”
He loosened his hold and Amy stepped back.
“I know,” Amy said. “But continuing to live here would never work.”
A horn sounded again and Dan swore. “Who is making all that noise?”
“Steven.”
Dan’s gaze narrowed.
“I called him.” Amy lifted her chin. “He’s giving me a ride to my aunt’s house.”
She’d tried to reach Verna, but the call had gone straight to the recorder. Amy didn’t want to spend another night under Dan’s roof. If Verna wasn’t home when she got there, she’d have Steven drop her at a motel.
“You didn’t need to call him.” A tiny muscle jumped in Dan’s jaw. “You have the Saturn.”
“You bought the car for Emma’s nanny,” Amy pointed out. “You’ll need it for the woman who takes my place.”
Dan’s gaze met hers. “No one will ever take your place.”
Amy didn’t bother answering. Dan may not want to hire another nanny but he would. With his work commitments he couldn’t take care of Emma by himself. So, he’d do what he had to do.
And she’d do the same. By walking out the door.
As they sat at the stoplight just down the street from Dan’s house, Amy sensed Steven’s gaze on her. Instead of looking in his direction, she kept her head back and her eyes half shut.
She knew it was rude but she didn’t feel much like talking. Her emotions were too raw, too close to the surface.
When she’d called and asked Steven for a ride he’d said yes without asking any questions. She’d known he was curious, but thankfully too polite to probe. Unfortunately Dan standing in the doorway watching them load the bags in the car appeared to have pushed his curiosity to the breaking point.
“What happened?” Steven asked. “What made you move out?”
Heaving a resigned sigh Amy opened her eyes and turned to face Steven. She owed him some sort of explanation. After all, he’d just gotten back into town, yet he’d dropped everything to pick her up.
“I have a new job,” Amy said, forcing a smile and trying to drum up some enthusiasm. “Chez Gladines wants me full-time.”
A startled look crossed Steven’s face and she could tell it wasn’t the answer he’d expected. Still, he quickly rallied, his lips curving up into a broad smile. “Congratulations. That’s fabulous news.”
Amy shifted her gaze, finding his joyousness almost painful. She picked at a loose thread on her coat. “Yes, I guess it is.”
His brows drew together in puzzlement. “You don’t seem very excited.”
“It’s a lot of responsibility,” Amy said. “I’ll be in charge of all the desserts, not just pastries.”
She’d never doubted herself before but the experience with Dan had left her feeling unsettled.
“You’ll do a great job.” As if he could read her mind, Steven reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “I knew it was just a matter of time. Once they got a taste of your talent, how could they not want more?”
His generous words acted as a soothing balm on her wounded spirit. Steven was such a great guy. He had so much to offer a woman. Life would be so much easier if only she could love him instead of Dan. Amy sighed.
“You’re the best,” Amy said. “Anyone ever tell you that?”
“Every day,” Steven said, shooting her a wink before his gaze turned speculative. “How did Dan take the news?”
“Not well,” Amy said. It was an understatement but she didn’t feel like elaborating.
“Did he give you an ultimatum?” Steven probed. “Is that why you moved out in the middle of the night?”
Amy shrugged. “You know Dan. Everything has to be his way.”
It wasn’t completely true or for that matter, particularly fair. If Amy were feeling generous, she’d correct the mistaken impression. But she wasn’t feeling kind or generous.
“It must have been hard to realize your dreams mattered so little,” Steven said. “I know how much you like him.”
Amy stared out the passenger window into the inky darkness. Tonight she’d been forced to face facts. To toss aside her rose-colored glasses and see Dan for who he was and not how she wished he could be.
A wave of sadness washed over Amy. The truth was Dan didn’t love her. Heck, he probably didn’t even like her all that much. Everything he’d done, everything he’d said, had been a means to an end.
Her heart hardened.
“I used to like Dan,” Amy said finally. She closed her e
yes and leaned back against the seat. “Not anymore.”
“Daddy, is Amy coming home today?”
Dan’s hand paused on the can of green beans. Pain stabbed him and the loneliness he’d fought to contain returned full force. He turned to find Emma staring at him over the top of the grocery cart.
“No.” He kept his tone matter-of-fact. “Not today.”
It had been four long weeks since Amy had moved out and the house seemed empty without her. Every day, Emma asked if Amy was coming home. At first, the question prompted long discussions. He’d emphasize that Amy still loved her and would be seeing her regularly. But she kept asking. After a while Dan just started saying no, not today.
Usually Emma went on to talk about Amy. But today, Dan wasn’t in the mood to listen to his daughter go on and on about how wonderful Amy was.
The last time she’d stopped over to take Emma to the children’s museum, she’d looked wonderful. Her hair had been layered, giving it a stylish windblown appearance and the coat she’d been wearing had been one of those fur-trimmed ones that was all the rage.
To his critical eye she’d looked thinner and he wondered if she’d been eating properly. Or maybe she’d been sick. But there’d been no time to ask because she’d whisked Emma out of the house without giving him a chance to say much more than hello and goodbye.
“…and Steven.”
He blinked, the can of green beans still in his hand. “What did you say?”
“I climbed on the fire engine at the children’s museum,” Emma said. “And then Amy and Steven got me ice cream.”
Dan dropped the can into the cart and counted to ten. He’d agreed to Amy spending time with Emma but that didn’t include her boyfriend. “I didn’t know Steven went with you to the children’s museum.”
“He didn’t,” Emma stood on her tiptoes and peered into the cart. She wrinkled her nose. “Green beans. Yuck.”
“They’re good for you,” Dan said absently. “What do you mean Steven didn’t come with you? I thought you said you all had ice cream.”
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