Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous)

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Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous) Page 9

by Michelle MacQueen


  “Piper—”

  “Wait… YOU must know what he looks like. Can you like draw me a picture or something?”

  He jumped from the bed and gripped her arms. “Stop.” A smile curved his lips as he fought back a laugh. “I never thought I’d see the day Piper Hayes went fangirl.”

  “It’s just…” She looked into his clear blue eyes, almost forgetting what they were talking about. “Dax Nelson.”

  “I’ll tell you something no other Dax fan knows.” He leaned closer. “Dax has brown hair and glasses.”

  “Kind of like you,” she whispered.

  “And what about my music? Do you find it swoony?”

  She shook her head with a smile. “My sister wrote the lyrics.” The lie burned. “Finding them swoony would be weird.”

  His grin widened.

  “It’s nice to see you smile. I missed that.”

  She regretted her words instantly as his smile dropped, and he stepped back. Eyeing the rumpled bed and plate of food on the ground next to it, she looked to him in question. “Have you been sleeping all day?”

  “No.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’ve mostly been lying here trying to make myself move when it all seems so pointless.”

  “None of it is pointless, Ben.” She set the bags on the bed. “Look, Melanie wants you to become a hermit and stay away from the press, but I think you need to get out of this house. But… you can’t go walking around in your designer clothes Quinn bought specifically for Florida.”

  “So, what am I going to wear?” He peeked into the bags.

  “What twenty-year-old Ben Evans would have worn before he had to go get all fancy.”

  “I didn’t get fancy,” he grumbled.

  She lifted one eyebrow. “Did you fly here in first class or coach?”

  “Point taken.” He pulled out the jeans and t-shirts before getting to the shorts. “Melanie won’t like this.”

  “All right, Benji.” She used his family nickname when she meant business. “This is what’s going to happen. You will not heal from this if every decision is about the music or about your job. I don’t want you answering Melanie’s calls.”

  His jaw dropped open. “Do you realize how mad she’ll be?”

  “I don’t care.” She held out her hand. “Give me your phone. It’s only going to make this worse.”

  He hesitated a moment before a sigh rattled from his chest. Placing the phone in her palm, he pried his fingers from it. “You’re right. I can’t see any more texts from Conner.” Interesting, he didn’t mention anything from Quinn.

  “You’re going to wear the clothes I bought you because they are everything Benji Evans once was.” She pulled a wide-brimmed hat from the bag and reached up to put it on his head. “They won’t recognize you without the makeup.”

  “We hope.”

  Ben had been in the tabloids plenty without the makeup but always with Quinn at his side.

  “Hope is all we have right now, Ben.” She scrolled through her phone for the list she’d made. “I have a number of phone calls to make. Go outside or something.” She sniffed. “Or at least shower.”

  She turned to the door, but his voice called her back.

  “You don’t work for the band anymore, Piper. You don’t have to do any of this.”

  She smiled to herself. “I know. But sometimes, it’s what we do when we don’t have to that matters most.” She looked back over her shoulder.

  “I don’t think I deserve you, Piper Hayes.”

  “Au contraire, mon ami. You’re a good guy, Ben. You didn’t deserve what Quinn did to you, but we’re friends, family, and that is something you definitely deserve.”

  She left him with those final words as she stepped out into the hall and shut the door. Her heart thundered in her chest, and his smile took a permanent place in her mind.

  What was that?

  There are few moments one can feel the world shifting underneath their feet.

  And Piper couldn’t shake the feeling that had been a giant earthquake.

  12

  Ben

  Reaching for his phone for the millionth time, Ben sighed. What had he been thinking, giving it to Piper? Melanie would freak if he didn’t answer her calls, not to mention the people from the label, people who expected him to be in Florida writing new songs right now.

  They’d expect something soon, just the first song.

  Quinn’s lyrics scrolled through his head. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of them, of the feelings she was able to bring out in him with her words.

  He scrubbed his wet hair with the towel before shrugging on one of the new shirts Piper bought him. How had she known exactly what he needed? The cotton was soft against his skin, a perfect fit.

  He removed the tags from the rest of the clothes and bunched them in his arms, kicking the door open. Running down the stairs, he entered his mom’s prized laundry room. She’d built custom shelves over her front loaders. His mom spent her summers doing projects like this. The house was full of furniture she’d crafted or places she’d fixed whatever broke.

  He dumped the clothes into the washer and reached for the soap as his gaze found the dials. Too many dials.

  When was the last time he’d done laundry? He wasn’t like Quinn in asking Piper to do it. That wasn’t her job. But he’d used laundry services at various hotels and in L.A., he sent it out to get done.

  “If you put all the new clothes in the same load, you’ll end up with dye bleeding into the white shirts.” His mom barely contained a laugh as she sidled up to him and bent to start removing the white undershirts from the washer. “I thought I taught you better than this.”

  She had. As a teenager, his mom made sure he could take care of himself. Laundry. Cooking. When was the last time he cooked?

  “It’s been a while, Mom.”

  She shook her head. “If I wasn’t so darn proud of you, I’d whip your butt for forgetting how to be a normal adult.”

  He’d never been a normal adult, going straight from college into instant fame. Adjusting his glasses, he peered closer at the dials. “Mom…”

  She issued a dramatic sigh. “I take back that pride thing. You’re doing colors so put it on cold.”

  He did as she said.

  “Now, hit start.”

  “Wait, that’s it? Then, why does it look so complicated.”

  “Oh, my boy.” She slipped her arm through his and pulled him from the room. “It’s only complicated for those who’ve had their brain cells fried by rock-and-roll.”

  “You sound eighty when you say that. You kids and your rock-and-roll!” He did his best to imitate the old man who used to teach history at his high school.

  “All right, oh son of mine, you’ve been here for days. Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond happy to see you because you don’t visit your old momma enough, but I only know a little of what happened, just what Piper told Chase.”

  “It never hit me before just how close those two are.” He glanced toward the window where he could see Piper sitting across the yard, her back against a tree and a pen poised above a notebook. “They’re closer than I’ve ever been with anyone.”

  “That’s because we raised them together. While you were off in the land of frat parties, they were building forts and climbing trees.”

  He’d never had that. Sure, Chase was his brother, but they were so apart in age, they’d been siblings but not playmates. He didn’t miss his mom’s comments about frat parties, but he’d let her have her fun. Yes, he’d joined a frat, but no he hadn’t spent every weekend raging.

  “Benji, tell me about Quinn.”

  He knew this was coming eventually, but the words still clogged in his throat. How was he supposed to admit he’d spent six years loving a woman who didn’t love him back?

  “She and Conner…”

  “I know that part.” She led him to the back deck and out onto the couch. “What I’m interested in is how it made you feel. How are you doing?�
��

  That was a loaded question. In the moment everything happened, he’d felt alone in a foreign world, but since leaving Quinn and Conner behind, he realized the band wasn’t all he’d had. His family had been right here the whole time. And Piper… she came back for him too.

  “I feel betrayed, Mom. Like I’ve been an idiot not to see what was happening right in front of my eyes.” So many memories had come back to him in the days since catching them together. Quinn’s constant flirting with any guy who could help their career. The cold way she’d look at him sometimes.

  “That’s natural, Ben. You were betrayed. But you weren’t and will never be an idiot.” She pressed a hand to his chest. “And this? What does it feel?”

  His mom was the only person he’d ever talked feelings so openly with. She had an openness that made him always come to her. Maybe that was why the first place he’d wanted to be when he was hurting was home, this house. “I don’t really know.” It was the truth. When he got distance from the situation, from his life as the front man for Fate, it didn’t hurt quite as much.

  A smile tilted her lips. “Well, I think that means she didn’t break your heart, Ben. Only your pride.”

  Could that be true? “But… the music.” It had always tied them together.

  She leaned back and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. “You look for signs. You always have. It’s one of the most special things about you, your faith in something beyond yourself. Just… don’t let it dictate your path. So much of your life is now out of your control—I get that’s what it means to be famous—but don’t let this world you live in have your heart as well.”

  How was he supposed to take her advice when the world wanted Fate? When eventually he’d have to face Quinn and Conner if they all wanted to save their careers? “I don’t know if I can keep writing to her lyrics, Mom. That’s what the label will ask of me, but I just…”

  “Ben, if the lyric doesn’t fit anymore, find a new one.” She winked and stood, leaving him with that cryptic final message.

  Find a new lyric?

  His mom had finally lost it.

  The front door slammed, and his dad’s voice drifted out the back door. “There’s my love.”

  Ben craned his neck to see his parents through the screen door. His dad kissed his mom like they hadn’t seen each other in years. He’d grown up with their affection. They’d never shied away from telling each other or their kids how they felt. It was one of the things he both admired and envied about them.

  His gaze found Piper once more, and he stood, stepping from the deck to cross the expansive overgrown yard to where she sat. She didn’t look up as he neared, her attention entirely on whatever was in that notebook.

  “Making all your lists?” It was a joke, but he’d seen her spend most of her time making lists and crossing items off as she did tasks Quinn asked of her.

  She jumped, clutching the notebook to her chest. “Oh, hey.” She didn’t lower the notebook. “You showered.”

  “I do that sometimes.”

  Her eyes met his with a soft smile. He’d never realized how expressive her eyes were, that she could convey meaning with a single look. But what was that meaning? “Did I interrupt you?”

  She pulled her ponytail over one shoulder and bit her lip. “No. Did you need something? Do the clothes fit? I could run to the store again.”

  “Does it ever stop for you?”

  “What?”

  “The job? You quit, remember?”

  One corner of her lips hooked up. “You’re not a job, Ben.”

  It was the first time she’d ever said that to him. Usually she repeated the fact that knowing him, worrying about him was her job. “Good to know.”

  Her cheeks turned the most adorable shade of red.

  Adorable?

  He rubbed a hand over his face, knowing he couldn’t have thoughts like that. Not in the post-Quinn breakup haze. But it was only days ago he wondered if he’d smile again, and now as he looked down at the girl who’d always had his back, he just wanted to feel again.

  Friendship, that was. He wanted to feel friendship. He groaned.

  “Something wrong?” She stood and brushed off her pants.

  “No. I was just bored and wanted to see if you were up to hang out.”

  Her brow creased, but she didn’t answer him.

  “What?”

  “Well…” There was that lip biting again. “I’ve known you my entire life, Ben, and you’ve never wanted to hang out.”

  “Sure, I have.”

  She shook her head. “No, you had Quinn, and I had Chase. We were never exactly a foursome. And the entire time I’ve worked for Quinn, the only time we’ve spent alone together was for a purpose, to help you with the songs. So, I guess I’m just wondering what you need.”

  “Need?” Was he really that much of a jerk? Piper gave up her free time whenever Quinn wrote new lyrics to help him learn them. She anticipated his every need, revolving her entire life around the band.

  And he’d never treated her like a friend, like the sister he claimed she was. He couldn’t think what else to say to her as she stepped around him.

  “I’m going to help Julia with dinner.”

  All he could do as she walked away was nod like the idiot his mom claimed he wasn’t.

  He tried to help in the kitchen, but the women ran him off, claiming he was more hindrance than anything. Chase wouldn’t be joining them because he apparently had a date. At least one of the Evans brothers was moving forward.

  It was like Ben’s feet were stuck in quicksand as the world moved around him. There were his parents happily in love. Chase and his life of independence, living on his own terms. Quinn and Conner not caring about the consequences.

  And Piper… wanting to take care of everyone around her.

  She’d told him it was her way to not be a burden, but he didn’t believe that. Some people were special, and he’d started to see Piper Hayes might be the most special one of them all.

  Why hadn’t Quinn seen it? He thought back to all the abuse Piper took from her sister, the abuse Ben let happen. He was such a chump. Piper stood up for him, even though he’d never done it for her.

  He sat on the couch in front of the Reds game his dad had on the TV. Jonathan Evans was a lot like Ben’s mom in that he’d always known where he stood with him, how much he cared. It was something Ben hadn’t appreciated until he’d entered the music world where the only thing people cared about was how good your next song was.

  Except the Rockstars Anonymous group. Wasn’t that why Melanie started it? To prove to them they weren’t alone? That they didn’t have to let that world crush them?

  And when Ben probably needed them most, he’d shut them out.

  “How’s the season been, Dad?” Unlike Chase, his dad had always been a baseball fan. They were a house divided between baseball and hockey.

  “Ah, you know. Has its ups and downs.” He lifted the remote to turn down the volume. “They kick you out of there too?”

  Ben nodded. “Like I was some intruder.”

  His dad barked a laugh. “Your mother has missed that girl ever since she left us to go work for you all. Let them have their time.”

  “I’m her son.” He wasn’t really upset, but he couldn’t help himself.

  “And Piper is her daughter.” He reclined his chair. “Did you know Amanda Hayes wanted to be a singer?”

  “Piper and Quinn’s mom?”

  A sad smile flitted across his dad’s face. “That’s how I met your mother. Amanda performed at an open mic night where my buddy Travis tended bar.”

  Travis. Piper’s father.

  His dad continued. “It was never the same after that night. The four of us became inseparable. We’d have done anything for each other.”

  “Including raising their daughter.”

  A sigh escaped his dad. “That was the easiest decision we ever made. We already loved that little girl, and it was like keeping a
piece of our best friends with us.”

  “So, Quinn took after her mom? With the singing?”

  He smiled. “Both of them did.”

  “Piper doesn’t sing, Dad.”

  “Then, I must be going senile because I seem to remember eight years of Piper Hayes bouncing around this house with a song on her tongue and the lyrics she was always scribbling bouncing in her head.”

  How did he not know any of this? Had Quinn known her sister wrote songs? That she enjoyed singing them too? “She’s been with us for more than two years, Dad. How do I not know any of this?”

  “Because you haven’t been looking, kiddo. Quinn is a star that shines so brightly it blinds everyone in her vicinity. But not us. Your mother, me, Chase… we’ve always loved our girl. She’s as much a part of this family as you are.” He leaned forward. “Which is why I need to ask this of you.”

  “Ask what?”

  “When you leave again to rejoin your band as we all know you will, don’t take her with you. Piper thinks she owes Quinn something just because they’re sisters, but I think we’d all like to see her start to soar in her own right.”

  He didn’t tell his dad Piper had already broken away from Quinn or that in just two months she’d leave to work for a different rockstar on a different tour. Instead, he looked at the man who’d raised both him and Piper and nodded. “I won’t let either of us get sucked into Quinn’s orbit again.”

  “That’s my boy.” He reached over and clapped him on the back. “We love Quinny, we do. Don’t ever think we don’t. But maybe not having Piper following her around will teach her something too.”

  “What?”

  “That holding on is easy. It’s the letting go that’s hard.”

  He couldn’t help feeling that lesson was for him as much as it was for Quinn. He not only had to let go of the woman he’d thought he loved, that wasn’t the most difficult part. It was the notion he’d lived his life by, the feeling that fate somehow cared what happened in the end, that it led him onto the path toward Quinn.

  There was no one else pulling the strings.

 

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