by Brock, V. L.
Copyright
Eluding Nirvana:
(The Dark Evoke Series, #2)
By V.L. Brock
Copyright 2014 V.L. Brock
Licence Note
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyments only. This ebook may not be sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and you did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for supporting and respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction, names characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.
The author acknowledges the copyright and trademark owners of any brands/stores/establishments, which are used in the book, and that I do not claim ownership to.
Cover Design by: Sprinkles On Top Studios.
https://www.facebook.com/SprinklesOnTopStudios
http://sprinklesontopstudios.com/
Edited by: Brittani Pritchard.
Dedication
To my Nan:
16 years without you
, and yet it still seems like yesterday that I was holding your hand, listening to stories of WWI and WWII, alongside married life in the olden days, while eating a chocolate animal bar.
You were the first strongest woman that I knew and loved; I was and still remain in awe of everything you had experienced. My love for you is unending.
To my mother:
You were the second strongest woman that I know and love. You’re a Stevens…you’re your mother’s daughter. You’re a fighter…you got out while you could. I love you.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
––Melody Beattie
Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgement 8
Prologue 10
Chapter One 11
Chapter Two 20
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten 70
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Epilogue
Bonus Scene:
Transcending Nirvana:
About the Author
Silver Series by E.J. Shortall
For Nicky, A Torey Hope Novel Book 1 by A.D. Ellis
Because of Beckett, A Torey Hope Novel Book 2 By A.D. Ellis
MaryAnn Jordan
The Shifting Series (Books 1-3) by Andrea Michelle
MJ Nightingale is an Indie author to watch out for!!!
M.L. Steinbrunn
Sandra Love
Diamond Davenport
S.M. Phillips
Acknowledgement
Firstly, to my readers. They say that a writer merely begins the story; the reader is the one to finish it. Without you, these stories would be left incomplete. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I thank you for journeying alongside the characters, experiencing the emotions which come hand-in-hand with that journey, and taking the time to get engrossed in a world in which I have created.
To my fellow IEZ ladies. Where do I even begin? We laugh alongside each other, we cry alongside each other, we twirl and pick each other up if we get a little dizzy and fall, and for that, I thank you. The IEZ isn’t just a group of Indie Authors, it isn’t just a group of friends…it’s a family, and I’m honored to be a part of that. I don’t know where I would be without our chats, videos, or words of encouragement. I love you, all. You ladies rock!
My besties and beta readers: Samantha Ulysses, Charlie Chisholm and Brittani Prichard (who is also my kickass editor). The amount of faith you have in me, and the amount of times you have shaken some sense into me is bountiful. I can’t thank you enough. When I’ve doubted my abilities, you were there, when I doubted the direction of the story, you were there, and when the emotions ran too high on certain scenes, you were there to reason with me. The love I have for you all is out of this world. You were my first angels, my first readers, my first fans, and I thank you for that.
To my Street Team, Vic’s Angels: Justine McFadyen, fellow author S.M. Phillips, Lora Lynch, Renee Craycraft, Sam Pixiebelle O’neill, Karen Shenton, Angie Cooper-Jenkins, Lorraine Lilly Wickson, and all the other members, thank you for your pimping skills and spreading the love of not only Walker and Kady, but also Hayden and Samantha from Impulses. Let keep it up. #WalkerLove #Impulses.
Kaprii Dolphin and Lorraine Lilly Wickson who make up the fabulous Two Ordinary Girls and Their Books, I have two simple words: you’re amazing! Your continued support and enthusiasm towards The Dark Evoke Series will always warm my heart. Thank you for hosting Eluding Nirvana’s Cover Reveal alongside the Release Day Blitz. And not forgetting the many other blogs which participated in the event also: M&D’s have you read book blog, Sarah and Kirsty’s Book Reviews, A Girl Who Loves Books, Best of Both Worlds: Books & Naughtiness, Ms. ME28, My books and Me, Author Sandra Love, Books and Friendz, This Girl Loves Books, 2 Girls a book & a Glass Of Wine, Just Another Girl and Her Books, Naughty Girls of Romance, Sassy Southern Book Blog, Beautifully Broken Book Blog, S.M. Phillips, We Stole Your Book Boyfriend, Bookland, Bad Boys Bedtime Stories, Book Nook Nuts, Words Turn Me On, Little Shop of Readers, Steamy Book Momma, This Mommy Loves to Read, Eye Candy Bookstore, Confessions of a Book Whore, Cover to Cover Book Blog, Musings of the Book-a-holic Fairies, Inc. Randy Raunchy Romantic Book Blog, My Book Inspired Ramblings, Glass Paper Ink, Sweet N Sassy Book A Holics, Girl with Book Lungs, Book Blogs For Book Lovers, Fictional Mens Page for Book Hos, LBM Book Blog, Fictional Boyfriends, The Literary Gossip, Literary Lust, BJ’s Book Blog and Luscious Literature.
To all of my reviewers: thank you for taking the time to read, rate and review. I know family and life can interfere with reading schedules and I am so thankful that in between those commitments, you could read something new by someone new.
Lastly, to my husband and my munchkin. You see me at my best and at my worst. You see the downside and my upside, but regardless of that, your support is unending. The ample times of doubt are cast into oblivion when you restore my faith. You bolster me and my vision, you remind me of what I want to achieve, of why I am doing this. You help remind me that anything is possible when you fight and work toward it. For that, I can never repay you. I love you both until the end of time…The moon and back is a no-go.
Prologue
Spying through the bay window, Liam was pacing in the living room, the phone to his ear as he flexed his free hand.
Two weeks I had been seeking clarity, enlightenment…nirvana. A
nd right then, Walker’s words haunted my mind. ‘If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make damn fucking sure you remember’.
As I stood staking out my home from the safety of the sidewalk like some abused little woman, I felt myself spiraling rapidly down the rabbit hole without any brakes. The quandary which I came to accept back when I was laying in the hospital bed, about the doctors and medical personnel being unable to hook me up to some device like in a sci-fi movie, and travel the tunnel of past memories, was now very much tangible.
And it took Walker and everything I had seen and felt that night to instigate it.
Sparks fired. Memories unlocked. Nirvana was found.
Fuck…
Chapter One
December 2010.
Two and a half years before the accident…
The warmth and softness of the velvet backrest left my body feeling cold as I shifted to the edge of my seat, practically folding myself over the romantically dressed, table for two. I was staring at the man before me, a man who was fiercely passionate in both work, and his relationship. A man who was never dealt his cards; he was the one who dealt them.
He was pretty much as haughty and as confident then as he had been, the night I agreed to go on a date with him. And so there we were sitting, in the heart of the most romantic Italian restaurant in Boston, amongst high-class lovers swathed in golden flickering candlelight, in the exact place, right down to the exact table, where we had our first date, celebrating our two year anniversary.
I drew in my lower lip and clamped my teeth down gently. He knew my game. He saw it in my eyes. The way they glimmered and darkened as I held my head low and coquettish, casting him with my scandalous, ‘I want you to fuck me, and I don’t care if you take me over this very table with the clientele watching’, look.
Liam DeLaney could read me like a book.
It was a shame the skill wasn’t mutual.
“Happy Anniversary, Kady baby,” he muttered on a small smirk. His tie was held flush against his black shirt when he swiftly rose from his seat opposite to avoid catching the flickering, golden flame of the candle in-between us. Bestowed with a chaste kiss on my lips, Liam left me humming in both profound appreciation and objection, when he drew his skillful lips away from me.
“Happy anniversary, Liam,” I whispered back. I could feel the creases fanning out from the corners of my pale blue eyes as my once demure smile, broadened with the merging of his warm, soft hand as he tenderly cradled the side of my face.
If I had known that the moment he lowered himself back into the seat opposite, that my stomach was going to free fall and the smile on my face was about to vanish with the husky, deep beckoning of a certain name, I would have kept Liam him there for a little longer.
“Raven?”
Craning my head to the source of the voice, I was met by a tall, coffee-skinned man, whose head was reflecting the muted, romantic glow of the restaurants lights, making a beeline to our table. “Jerome,” I gasped. What the fuck was he doing there? Damn fucking timing.
When a warm, friendly hand lightly crashed down onto my shoulder, Liam did a fantastic job of making damn sure everyone knew he was pissed. Looking at him wasn’t necessary. I could feel his green and blue speckled eyes hardening into emeralds and hear his jaw tightening with the shadowed sound of grinding teeth. The gust of air he ousted in an angry sigh, pasted itself to my forearm.
“Hey, girl, I didn’t expect to see you in here.”
Although my head was caught somewhere between cursing the rich punter to Hell and praying he would leave us alone, I found myself smiling politely. “It’s our two year anniversary, so we’re celebrating.”
“Oh, wow,” he sounded stunned and he looked it, too, with his black eyes widening and, well, I would have said his eyebrows meeting his hairline, but he was bald as a coot. Extending an arm to Liam, he offered his congratulations. Silent and making no attempt in reciprocating the gesture, Liam simply responded with a glare, and I swear if he was telekinetic, he would have strangled the poor man with his ruby colored tie. Jerome turned his attention back to me. “I was wondering if you’re working Friday night.”
“That I am, Jerome. That I am.” I took a sip of the pink champagne which left a lingering taste of strawberries on my pallet and bubbles tickling my nose.
Black eyes glistened like black sapphires, while his mouth curled into a knowing and satisfied grin. “Great, I’ll come in for my usual.” I nodded my acknowledgement as he turned on his heel and muttered, “See you, Friday, girl.” And I was left pondering whether the tall, muscular black-man could have made that statement sound any seedier.
Emotions I felt that night sitting opposite my lover, in the most notable restaurant in town, losing myself in his loving gaze as we celebrated this monumental bridge in our relationship, and which would hopefully bring about a climatic result when we got home, took a nosedive. Love, joy and excitement curdled into embarrassment and anxiety. I hooked my hair behind my ears. Liam glowering at me was something I couldn’t fare with. Not if we weren’t having angry sex anyway. And sex was something, angry or not, that we hadn’t had in several weeks. And I was sexually frustrated beyond all comprehension.
“Liam, please. Stop looking at me like that.” With a crumpling brow and my lips forming a firm line, I eventually surrendered to a full-on, sullen pout before taking another sip of the fizzy liquid, in an eager attempt to drown the additional serving of guilt which was flooding my system. He was making that night so perfect, spoiling me rotten, being as loving as Liam DeLaney could be, and one of my punters had just gatecrashed it.
“I’ve had it, Kady. I can’t keep doing this.”
I lowered the flute onto the white linen cloth, while shaking my head and shrugged my shoulders, completely baffled.
“Kady, the first time a guy approached you regarding work, I was fine with. The second, third and fourth, I’ll admit, I found a little hot, knowing that they could only look and I was the lucky bastard that got to touch. But enough is enough.”
“What does that mean?” I gasped, slighted.
Focusing his livid gaze on the empty plates before us, he scoured his hand over his mouth. “Kady,” he peeked up, holding me with hard eyes. “We haven’t had sex for weeks because I am feeling physically sick knowing that all those men, including that Jerome guy, are going home and knocking one off while fantasizing about my girlfriend’s ass grinding up against them, and her tits being shoved in their face, counting down the fucking days until they get to actually, physically experience my fucking girl doing that to them.”
I was sitting overlooking the table where we’d begun a life together and journeyed through two years side-by-side, and I was completely dumbstruck, flabbergasted by his omission. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know he was being affected that badly. Two years, and I still continued to work Red Velvet without any regard to how he felt. A part of me felt terrible.
“I’m done with it, Kady,” he flailed his head and spoke in earnest. “You can’t expect me to continue like this.”
“Liam,” I murmured over the violins which were being played a few tables over. “Am I ashamed of what I do? Yes, I am.” The nodding of my head swiftly became a faint shake. “But I can’t just quit. I make more money in a night than what some people make in a week.”
“For the love of fucking, God, Kady,” he reprimanded and I instantly recoiled at his harshness. God he was severely pissed at me. I swore I could see his breath rising in steamy clouds as he blew out of his nose, his mouth hard. I’d never seen him so angry before. He looked like a raging bull in a china shop. I knew in that moment, it was something I wouldn’t care to see again. “Fuck the money, Kady. Do you want us to go back to how we were?”
“Yes,” I replied without hesitation, because if there was one wish I could’ve had granted, it would be to reclaim the passion which had bound us since the beginning.
“Then choose.” I watched his mouth upturn scornfully and
the power behind his voice had my brow, once again, creased for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, as he presented me with his ultimatum. “Come on, baby,” his tone softened as he rose from his seat and drew it to my side. When he lowered himself back into the velvet, my hands were promptly clutched in a clam-like grasp. His eyes softened substantially, matching the timbre of his voice. “Remember the passion? The need and want?” Dropping his head, his breath tickled my face as he resumed his, DeLaney Persuasion. “I miss taking you however I can get you. The moans and groans I can draw from your lips.”
His words were gradually killing me and my resolve. The rasping vibrations which penetrated my flesh, connecting with me on a deep, needy level, made me squirm in my seat and cross my legs.
“I miss making you come, knowing that you’re mine, knowing that I’m the only one who gets to see you vulnerable like that, and knowing I’m the one to make you vulnerable like that.” My eye were searched, my silent contemplations hunted by the intensity of his gaze. “We can have it all back, Kady baby. Just say the word. Make me happy.”
Make him happy? He was my boyfriend; I wanted nothing more than to do just that. I drank in a breath before slipping my hand from his and taking a mouthful of liquid courage, disguising itself as a $300 bottle of pink champagne. “And we go back to normal? If I do this, we go back to how we were?” I questioned after swallowing, my upper lip curled slightly.
The grip around my lingering hand tightened. Smiling, he nodded his response.
“Okay,” I resigned. “Okay, Liam. I’ll quit Red Velvet.”
My hair was fisted as his hand threaded through my large, bouncing curls, holding the back of my head as he wrenched me closer. His mouth crashed down onto mine, his tongue cool from the alcohol and slightly bitter from the Key Lime Pie, as he swept it through my mouth and over my lips. A groan was torn from my throat as he pulled his lips away, and braced our foreheads against each other. “Those groans I draw from you…” he breathed, an element of desire and approval went unveiled in his tone, while tightly screwed eyes enhanced the faint creases from their corners.