Eluding Nirvana (The Dark Evoke Series Book 2)

by Brock, V. L.

  “What the fu––” Liam choked on his words as I stood from the booth and glared at both, my partner and my best friend. My lip curled upward, incessant tears wet my face as I shook my head. “Kady,” he gasped.

  I peeked over at Liv as I flailed my head in disgust. She was pushed back in the pew with a satisfied grin plastered over her oval face. Liberation sparkled and lit up her almond shaped hazel eyes.

  “I can explain, Kady baby.”

  The shake of my head intensified. Words were floating around my mind, that Devil on my shoulder urged me to free them, but I couldn’t bring myself to. They stuck in my throat as fear of ramifications restrained the need of my own liberation. With a gasp laced with disgust and betrayal, I fled the shop, wishing I had fled the moment that they came in through the door.

  In that moment, I realized that the saying is true: ignorance is bliss.

  It was like the universe was crying out alongside me. The pain, the betrayal and heartbreak was something which I couldn’t avoid, and I knew deep down in the marrow of my bones that regardless of how many lashings I was given, regardless of how hot the metal was or how quick the impact would be if I drove the SUV into a wall, nothing was going to numb this pain. No physical pain was going to detach the emotions which were feasting and surging through my body, rendering me an emotional, pent-up wreck.

  After everything that we had been through over the years, after feeling like his prisoner more times than I could count, it was ironic that it was down to these feelings, the ones which spawned after truth was finally revealed, which felt like my captor.

  My boyfriend had been shagging my best friend, and I had caught them at it, more than once…but he was drugging me all this time…this situation was something I couldn’t fathom. Not for one measly moment.

  The pedal met the floorboard as I sped through the Boston traffic. Droplets crashed onto my windshield, the speed of the wipers nowhere near quick enough to eradicate the glass of the tiny diamonds which led into streaks down the surface, masking my vision.

  I finally pulled up opposite the building site, my car taking a beating from the incessant downpour as each ruthless, heavy drop crashed onto my roof making the car vibrate. Usually, such sound would send me into a state of repose, but not today.

  Today, Mother Nature was channeling my emotions.

  God help the people of Massachusetts.

  I exited the car, taking an idle amount of infuriation out on my door as I slammed it shut behind me and ran across the busy road. Horns blared, tires screeched and the glow of headlights was unsteady as drivers veered around my oblivious, wrath-fueled body.

  By the time I had made it to the building site across the way, my white blouse had already clung to my flesh and turned transparent. The sludge of the site caused my heels to sink and with each step, the soles of my boots would slip out before my heels were drunken in by the dirt once again.

  “Where the fuck is he?” I shouted over the crassness of catcalls being issued by the workload at my inappropriate state of attire, to a middleweight man, his dark curly hair peeping out from under his hard hat.

  “Where’s who?”

  “Well, I know where your fucking boss is, so who else would I be talking about?” I chided.

  It seemed as though each anger-lined word caused the battering of rain to come harder. Droplets fell into the muddy puddles scattered across the construction site, while my form stood between the rain and the ground and caused me to be speared by each icy collision as they crashed onto my skin. The man simply pointed behind me to the white cabin, and I wordlessly stomped off the site, and into one huge confrontation.

  “You’re a fucking asshole. You motherfucking cunt, how could you do that to me?!” I screamed after he muttered my name, following the slamming of the cabin door, with an element of surprise.

  Rearing himself from the chair behind a table scattered with designs and blueprints, he guardedly made his way around, fisting his hands into his brown hair. When he had finished, the lengthy locks stayed stuck up in a sexy yet disheveled fashion.

  “You couldn’t have just told me? You had to send me on a motherfucking wild goose chase?”

  “You’re telling me, if I just came out with it, you would have believed me, darlin’?” And there it was: my confirmation. I had known as soon as I sat down in that booth and they walked in, that Walker was the one behind all of this. But hearing it, hearing him telling me that he had planted all of this, is beyond treacherous. What did I get from this new information? The truth, yes, but also heartache…heartache and utter humiliation.

  There was no longer any distance between us, and his warmth did nothing for my freezing, soaking wet body. I wanted to lift my hands and let loose the anger and adrenaline that was holding my rationality prisoner. But I didn’t have the energy. And almost immediately, despair showed its presence in the form of liquid seeping from my eyes and down my cheeks.

  “You’re sick,” I sighed in contempt.

  My words wounded him that was palpable. Contrite, he hung his head, focusing on his dirty, heavy boots, his lips rolled over his teeth, while his eyebrows pulled in. When he lifted his head after a silent moment, he was nodding faintly. “Maybe…” his brow rose, an ocean of apologies gazed back at me. “But it was something you needed to discover for yourself. I just gave you a hand.”

  The concoction of emotions had me trembling. I couldn’t focus on anything. A stern finger caught my chin and tipped my head back when I began to let it fall forward, completely crushed. The chilliness of my body was cloaked by his heat and had me quivering with unthinkable expectation as we stood at the door.

  Vision distorted, I sniffled. “I don’t know what to do now.”

  His head dropped. Staring into each other’s eyes, I breathed in his masculine scent, my slim body dwarfed behind a shield of muscle as his hips held me in place. The sound of the lock twisting was shaded by three directive words which came heavy, indulgent and the thickest that I had ever heard his Irish brogue. “Don’t fight it.”

  Before I could bring an end to the situation, I felt his hands caressing my hips, and I found myself lifting my head to meet him when his lips crashed down over mine. Wandering and grasping hands matched our tongues dance and explored one another with seductive strokes and squeezes, as we gave an outlet for eighteen months of hidden desire. Abrasive yet intoxicating, the scruff shadowing his mouth was practically indescribable, and I wasn’t going to attempt to describe it. I washed all logical thought from my mind and concentrated on sheer carnality.

  This kiss was nothing like what Liam and I had shared, this was obsessive, wild and needy. Lips working against one another, our mouths opened farther, giving entry to a lustful circus which was surely becoming the best show on Earth. The minty heat of his breath masking the relics of his smoking was swallowed. His tongue gliding and circling my own was heady. Yet, the feel of his hard body towering over me, pinning me against the door as he invaded my mouth, while both of us succumbed to feral, eager groans which were swallowed by one another, was even headier.

  “Walker,” I breathed against his lips which were coated with evidence of our hunger, “we can’t do this…” I panted. Still, my body was betraying my words. I kept thrusting my head back, meeting his lips and fisting my hands through his hair until I was at the nape of his neck, drawing his tongue deeper and further into my mouth.

  “Why?” he panted.

  “Not here…Liam…he’ll come looking for me…” each gap between words was filled with wet, feverish kisses.

  “Mine?”

  That lone word had me pulling my lips away, breaths coming in wild, short pants. I gazed back and searched the ocean in his eyes.

  He had been there for me. He had understood the way my mind worked before I did…he was my anchor, and the anchor was getting cast. At that point, I wasn’t adrift at sea any longer. I knew what I wanted.

  I nodded, “Yours.”

  I don’t know how we manage
d to pull it off, but somehow we got away from the site without questions being asked. Walker took his pick-up while I tailed him in the SUV.

  We parked outside the Pavilion and the moment we stepped foot into his apartment on the fourth floor, we were ravishing each other all over again. My saturated blouse was peeled off my body with greedy hands, leaving me in just my black bra, jeans and heeled boots. Walker’s plaid shirt soon met mine on the floorboards. I worked to remove his white tank top. To my surprise I was instantly halted with him breathing the word ‘no’ against my mouth, so I continued to wrench his mouth onto me with a forceful, pleading grip at the back of his neck.

  Feverish fingers bored into the flesh behind my knees, and my back was rapidly glided up the wooden surface of the door behind me, my legs bound on instinct around his hips.

  Down the corridor, we blindly stumbled. I was set down onto the mattress, the springs of the black, wrought iron bed squeaking as it bore our weight without warning.

  Walker was cradled between my thighs, his lips leaving my mouth to work down my jawline, my neck and collarbone, until the silkiness of his tongue brushed over the swell of my breasts as they rose and fell rapidly, with one fluid sweep.

  Tilting my pelvis upward, the ache which was beating at my core was thrust against his stomach with a long, beseeching whimper.

  Every muscle in my body tensed when finally, Walker slithered down the span of my body. I appraised him as he reared up, shoulders back and head held high like a man who knew what he wanted––like a man who had known and waited for months, for the exact right time to take what I was finally ready to give.

  The blue veins in his muscular arms were thick and throbbing, the stretching of white material which covered his torso dipped between each abdominal and emphasized his pectorals. The tribal sleeve covering his left arm and the large, intricate Celtic cross on his right bicep were on full view. My twenty-seven year-old vocabulary was lessened as I stared up at him. He was sexy as fuck, plain and simple. As my gaze swept lower to land at the bulge in his workpants, my erratic breaths quivered in anticipation.

  He took my foot and unzipped my boots in turn, before releasing the button and zipper of my jeans and peeling them, along with my panties, down my legs. Sheer hunger burned in his eyes as he stood back as studied me, toeing his boots and freeing himself of his filthy workpants and boxers.

  Fuck!

  I was blatantly staring at most probably, the most intimidating cock I had ever seen. Thick and veiny, I gasped as I considered how the fuck he was even going to fit. But at that moment, even if I was ripped in two by this mammoth of an Irishman, it would be the most pleasurable of deaths.

  My jaw fell open when he approached the side of the bed. Opening the bedside unit, he pulled out a foil packet, ripped it open, and watched me with weaving hunger and amusement as he rolled it over himself. “It’s okay, darlin’. I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.” I didn’t contemplate for a second that he ever would.

  With my head on the pillow, Walker slipped between the sheets with his tank top still on. Rough hands caressed the length of my body, my thighs falling open the lower his touch went, until finally, the tip of his finger swept across the tip of my clit. Electricity and vibrations shocked my nerves into surrendering to the delicious sensations he was prompting, while my hips bucked, forcing his finger to slide down my core and into the wetness of my very depths.

  Hearing him gasp was one thing, but seeing his expression as he eyes fluttered closed, blatantly savoring that moment, when his finger slipped inside of me had a groan ripped from my throat. Inner muscles clenched and throbbed as they wrapped around his fingers, drawing him deeper inside of me as he continued to work on my frenzied body.

  The springs of the bed squeaked again as he rolled over and shielded my body. Fingers circling, he left his mark on my inner walls as he readied me for his length. Ever so slowly, he eased himself inside of me, stretching me, filling me, owning me as he pushed in further until he was buried to the root. Each decadent inch in both length and girth had my head thrown back and keening as I licked my lips.

  Burying his face in the crook of my neck, my head rolled back, my eyes closed as I allowed the wave of sensation to wash over my body, and set my nerves on fire as I adjusted to his invasion––his blissful, satisfying invasion.

  He stilled when I was fully impaled. When he lifted his head, I saw his lower lip trembling and I felt his entire body trembling above me as he held himself. “Fuck, Kady,” he gasped, “Jesus Christ,” was the last words he breathed before he began to move rhythmically, gliding in and out of my body like we were made for each other, hitting that delicious pinnacle inside my core that repeatedly tore moan after pleasurable moan from my voice box.

  When his tongue dipped back into my mouth, swallowing my cries, my body was already joining his in its trembling fervor. Hips grinding upward, I was meeting him thrust for thrust when my gaze landed on the mirrored ceiling. I watched the sheets pooling and shifting as the space between my parted thighs was filled by his muscular physique, pulling his hips back and gradually rocking back into me.

  Seeing him working his body against mine, feeling the tingles and pleasure as he worked with me, and hearing the evidence of such pleasure with moans and labored breaths, along with the sounds of the deed itself, the fluidity as he pushed through my slickness and the protesting groaning of the wrought iron bed as we moved in unison, was sensation overload.

  The prominence of his shoulder blades shifted as he bore his weight through his arms at either side of my head, dragging himself back before gently lunging again.

  A familiar, long sought-after tightening in my pelvis radiated through my lower back, and tingles shot down my hips and legs, making my toes curl as he drove into me at some glorious angle that had his shaft gliding down the smoothness of my core, sweeping over my highly sensitized clit, before burying himself to the root in my depths once more.

  Walker cried out as my muscles constricted around him, his eyes screwed shut as heavy, jagged breaths were pasted against the others face.

  “God, Walker, fuck, fuck…” I whimpered and I swear tears were threatening. Under the sheets, my back bowed, my hands glided down his back before settling on each of his ass cheeks, feeling the muscles tense beneath them as his gentle rocking turned into powerful, feverish drives.

  “Jesus, Kady,” he called while sheer greed and desperation spawned and my hands pressed into his behind further, drawing him into me, filling my already filled body as much as he could.

  With a yell and a rapid gasp, he stilled, his body shuddering above me as I convulsed beneath him, my walls squeezing around him as we worked our lust-fueled possessed selves down from release.

  I felt his fingertips gliding across my hairline, but all I could do was concentrate on having my heart rate return to normal while he braced his heavy body atop of me.

  When he rolled over, I was taken in his arms, a kiss planted on my head. I snuggled against his chest, hearing his heart drumming against my ear and breathing in his manly scent.

  Everything else faded away as slumber took me prisoner.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It was the invasion of a soft golden glow, eradicating the shadows behind closed lids, which caused my eyes to flutter open. My body felt like I had been hit by a ten-ton truck. Stretching my limbs and cracking my back, a not so foreign sound of metal and protesting springs stirred and sounded beneath my body.

  Fuck…

  As soon as I came face to face with my naked body reflected in the ceiling, and the snowy white sheet pooled and creased around me, I forced myself into a seated position like it was going to halt the guilty conscience which I could feel manifesting in my bones.

  “She’s awake,” the thick, seductive voice sounded from the bedroom doorway just beyond my feet. “I brought you coffee.”

  I’d already gathered the sheet around my body, holding it knotted in the center of my chest with my left hand. I
was frantically searching for my clothing when he began prowling into the room, his black sweatpants resting low on his hips, his broad shoulders and defined lines framed by his white tank top.

  Assembling my scattered attire, I hastily shoved my legs into my panties and jeans and quickly set to work, making myself presentable. “I can’t stay, Walker. I have to go.”

  “Go where?”

  Pulling my hair free of the collar of my blouse and with a frown marring my brow I breathed, “Home.”

  “Home? Kady––”

  “No, Walker…” I held my hand up in a bid to halt his words, but it was a fruitless indication. Instead, he curved around my body, rested the mug of steaming liquid on the bedside and placed me under his undivided attention.

  Two oceans met and melded into one as calloused hands freed my face of stray tendrils, before cradling both my cheeks. “He doesn’t deserve you, Kady. You heard yourself what he’s been doing.”

  “Walker––” I objected.

  “I don’t have much, darlin’, but I have a little saved. I can clear it this weekend, we can leave Sunday night. I have a friend in Chicago who owes me a favor. We can be there before early hours Tuesday morning, and we don’t have to look back. A new life, for us.”

  When I failed to interrupt his statement, the hopeful smile spanning his face caused an intense warmth in my heart.

  “What do you say, darlin’?” he asked, his eyes hunting mine with such urgency, that all I could do was hang my head with guilt.

  I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know anything. The last twelve hours I had discovered that over a year of my life has been centered on nothing but total lies. To make matters worse, they were lies told by two people I had trusted for years.

  Walker muttering the word, “Please,” had me lifting my gaze. His face grew closer to my own, and soon after, the tip of his nose was grazing down the length of mine, his forehead pressed against me. My lips were sought by his, and instinctively, my treacherous body began to reciprocate.