by Holly Jacobs
"Maybe I'd try hockey and hate it, but maybe I wouldn't. You shouldn't try to tell me who I am, and what I should do."
"I shouldn't try to define you," she said, more to herself than him.
Brandon nodded. "Maybe hockey's what I'm meant to do. Just like Daniel found what he was meant to do, even though his grandfather tried to stop him." He paused. "And like you found what you were meant to do."
"Me? Bran, I like my job, but I don't think it's a calling, it's nothing like Daniel's carpentry." She was good at her job—she'd always clicked with numbers—but there was no passion in it for her. It was nothing like what she saw in Brandon's eyes when he tried to coerce her into allowing him to play hockey. Nothing like what she saw when Daniel touched a piece of wood.
"No, not your job, Aunt Shell. Me. You were meant to be a mother to me. Mom loved me, I know that, but she was always so lost, always looking for herself, that she never really saw me. She never did mother sorts of things like worrying about bedtimes and vitamins and stuff. She'd have let me do hockey without worrying that I'd take a puck to the head. Mom worried about herself and her next boyfriend. She was so busy worrying about herself that there wasn't anything left over for me. But then she brought me here."
Michelle could feel tears welling in her eyes.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time," he said, answering her unasked question. "I never had a home till I moved here with you. And I never really knew what a mother should be until you. I loved Mom and she loved me, but she just couldn't do mom stuff. You might be my aunt Shell, but you're the only real mother I've ever known."
"Oh, Bran." And though she knew he felt he was too old for the mushy stuff, she hugged him and held him tight. "I do love you."
"Yeah, I know. Even when I'm mad at you, I know." He hugged her back, but after a second it proved to be more emotion than he could stand and he started to squirm.
She let him go and looked at him. Really looked at this gift. His insight had caught her off guard, but it shouldn't have. He was so smart. He was someone who knew what he wanted and went after it without hesitation. He'd wanted to know his father, and he'd gone after Daniel and found him. Now, he wanted hockey. She'd probably worry every minute he was on the ice, but he was right, he should be allowed to try it.
"Brandon, you are what I was meant to do. I still don't want to say yes about hockey, but—"
Before she could tell him that he could try out, he said, "Then I'll convince you on my own. I have a list. And you know how much you like lists. Well-organized arguments always impress you."
"So, you think you have me figured out?" She smiled, knowing it was watery at best.
"Oh, sure." He grinned. And just like that, their fight was over. "I have my top ten reasons why I should be allowed to play hockey. All logical and sincere. That will convince you."
"Get me your list, and then we'll talk about it. Really talk about it," she assured him. "I'll listen."
But they didn't need to, really. She knew what her answer had to be.
He started out of the room but turned at the doorway. "And you'll make up with Dan?"
She nodded. "I'll apologize for overreacting. The rest will be up to him."
"Good. 'Cause I like him, Aunt Shell. When I started looking, I was realistic. I might have been little, but I remember the guys mom usually hung out with. There were a couple nice ones, but mainly, they weren't so much. Dan's one of the good ones."
Michelle knew Brandon was right. Daniel wasn't just good when compared to the type of guy Tara usually dated. He was just a good one, period. "You're right, he is."
"So are you going to call him?"
"Some apologies are better made in person. I'll wait to see him at school." She was putting off seeing him, not because she didn't want to apologize, but simply because she needed a break, a chance to catch her breath. Things were moving far too fast for her.
"Or we could go see him tomorrow."
"We've spent so much time with him since you found him. I'd like one day to really sort things through. Plus, didn't you mention going over to Sean's house?"
"Yeah."
"So, why don't you do that, and I'll take tomorrow and get myself straightened around, then next week I'll apologize."
"And if I present my very logical list of reasons I should be allowed to try hockey, will you try to make a decision on that, as well? They're having tryouts next weekend."
"Yes. I'll come to a decision."
"Great, I'll get the list." He paused, ran back to her and hugged her. "I didn't want you to think that was a bribe. That's just 'cause. . ." He shrugged. "Just 'cause."
He ran to his room, presumably to get the list.
Michelle pasted a smile on her face.
Daniel had been right.
She was going to have make that apology. And she was going to have to figure out how to let someone else into the tight little circle she and Brandon had formed.
Chapter Nine
Sunday was the longest day in Daniel's life. By ten o'clock he was pacing in the house, and called it quits. He headed into downtown Erie, to the house he was working on, and used the set of keys Josh Christopher, the contractor in charge of the project, had given him to let himself in.
Chloe followed him as he set down his tools. He didn't bother taking off his coat because the heat was off for the weekend since no one was supposed to be here.
For an hour he lost himself in some intricate detail work on the banister.
Chloe's barking shook him from his work. He heard the front door open and moments later, Josh came in.
"I was driving by and saw your truck. It's Sunday, McLean. I don't expect anyone to work on Sunday. Saturday, yes, but never on Sunday. A man should have one day a week when his family can rely on him being around." He must have realized his mistake. "Sorry, Dan, I forgot—"
"It's okay." He thought about telling Josh about Brandon, but sharing wasn't generally something he was good at, even though Josh was friend enough to listen.
Josh pulled up a stepladder and sat on it, peering at Daniel through the banister. "Dating anyone? You must be. The only thing that could cause a guy to look as confused as you do is a woman."
How to explain his relationship with Michelle? "I'm sort of seeing someone. Maybe."
He laughed. "That doesn't sound very definite."
"It's not. Well, it is. I mean, I've been with her every day, pretty much every hour that I wasn't working or sleeping. It's complicated."
"Hey, how complicated could it be? You like her?"
"I do." He set down his chisel with far more force than required.
"She obviously likes you if she's letting you hang around that much. So, if you're dating some new woman and spending every minute you can with her, why on earth are you here on a Sunday and not somewhere with her?"
"We had a falling-out."
"Women." Josh managed to make the word sound like a swearword. "Can't live with them. Can't spend too much time with them without a fight. What was it? Did you forget an anniversary? Not call?"
"I interfered with her nephew." Daniel purposefully didn't mention her nephew could be his son. As soon as he got the test result, he planned to shout it from the rooftops, but not until then. "She's raising him, and had said no to something, and I suggested that maybe she was saying no because it was easier on her, not better for him."
Josh grimaced. "Damn, Daniel, if you're going to screw up, you do it right. I've got to guess she didn't take that well."
"That's an understatement," Daniel agreed morosely.
"So what are you going to do?" Josh asked.
"She said she needed time off. I'll see her Tuesday."
"Well, that's not so bad, then."
"It's not so good."
"Hey, from where I'm sitting, I'm getting an extra day's work from you, so at least one of us is happy." He laughed, then stopped when he saw Daniel hadn't joined in. "You've got it bad."
"It's. .
.well, it's complicated."
"I'm sure it is. When women are involved, it's always complicated. And as the relationship guru. . ." Josh must have recognized Daniel's skeptical look because he grinned. "Hey, I'm just stating the facts. And as a relationship guru I have some very sage advice. Flowers."
"What?" Daniel asked.
"When you see her, take flowers. And I wouldn't wait until Tuesday."
"That's your advice?"
"Yes. If you don't follow it, then it's on your own head. Flowers always work. Give them to her, and apologize. Even if it wasn't your fault. Almost any relationship issue can be cleared up with flowers and a good apology. Even if I'm not the one who was wrong, I find apologizing advantageous."
Daniel simply nodded. He wasn't sure he'd be willing to apologize just to keep the peace. But in this case, he'd been wrong. Michelle had been very generous, letting him spend time with Brandon.
If he was Brandon's father, he'd want some say, but right now, he was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger. He had no rights. She might have overreacted, but he couldn't blame her. He was an unknown coming into her life and sending it into turmoil.
And Michelle wasn't someone who liked turmoil. Not at all.
The thought made him smile.
"You're thinking about her," Josh said.
Daniel had forgotten that Josh was even there. "Why do you say that?"
"That look. Man, you're totally head over heels for her."
"I'm not," he denied. But the words felt like a lie. He liked her. Liked her a lot. He'd kissed her, even. But head over heels?
Maybe, just maybe he was.
"Man, you should see your face. Just figuring out, huh?" Josh stood. "Well, then my work here is done. Think about it, though. I can see how you feel, so you don't need to tell me. Maybe you should think about telling her."
He walked out of the room, saying, "Flowers, Daniel. Women like that kind of thing."
Daniel didn't think she'd like him taking flowers to her at the school. But tomorrow, there was no school. If he dropped them off at her house, she'd get them in private, and maybe things would be back to normal on Tuesday.
Having some sort of plan was a relief.
Tomorrow, he'd drop flowers off at her house.
MICHELLE HUNG UP the phone and tried to work up some sort of enthusiasm for some quality alone time. It happened so rarely.
She'd taken the day off to spend time with Brandon, but not only had he spent last night over at Sean's, he'd called this morning and asked to go skating with Sean and then dinner with Sean, as well. "Seriously, Michelle, I've got a ton of stuff to do around here," Carly had said. "And having Sean out of my hair with Brandon will make life that much easier. Rhiana's at a friend's and the afternoon will be all mine. I'll drop Brandon off after supper."
What could she say to that? Carly had practically made it seem as if Brandon hanging out with Sean was a favor. "Great. That's great."
"You okay?" Carly asked.
"Sure, I'm fine."
"You don't sound so sure."
Michelle could almost picture Carly frowning on the other end of the line. She hastened to reassure her. "I'm running through a list of things on my when-I've-got-time list of things to do, trying to decide which one to tackle today."
"You could use the time to relax."
"I relax better when I'm doing things." Michelle hesitated. "Oh, I know, I can wrap Brandon's presents. They're at the neighbor's now. I can get them, wrap them and have them hidden before he ever gets back. And to make you happy, I'll order Chinese tonight from Fortune Garden. That work?"
"Very well. And we're still on for Wednesday night?"
"Carly, I wouldn't miss your graduation for anything." Her friend had worked so hard, managing her kids, her job and school. "I'll be there."
"Great. Then we'll see you after dinner when I drop Brandon off."
"See you then." Michelle called the neighbor's and ran over to get Brandon's presents. She pulled out her plastic crate of wrapping supplies and went to it.
The new Wii he'd been begging for since it had come out was the big item. She couldn't wait until he opened it. But he was sly and she didn't want him shaking packages and guessing what it was early. She'd saved boxes for the past few weeks and decided to really make him work for the gift.
She started with a box for a shirt. She put the Wii, wrapped in bubble wrap, in it, and then wrapped it.
Next, she had a box that was slightly bigger that she'd asked for when she'd bought Brandon's new winter coat. She put the wrapped box in it, used newspaper as padding, and wrapped it. She had three more boxes, until she came to the big box her neighbor's new thirty-two-inch flat-screen television had come in. She'd had him save it for her. It was too big to wrap, so instead, she put her package in it, padded it with two bags of recyclable paper, and then duct taped the whole box. She used an entire roll of duct tape. A pretty green duct tape instead of the normal slate-gray. She topped it off with a red bow.
That was definitely festive and it was going to take Brandon forever to get to the Wii inside.
She was just getting ready to lug it to her room, where she'd leave it for Brandon to snoop and find, when the doorbell rang.
She was chuckling to herself, imagining his annoyance at not being able to unwrap it and peek, when she opened the door and saw who it was. "Oh. I thought we weren't getting together until tomorrow." It was a rude greeting and she instantly felt sorry. "Come on in. I was going to call you anyway."
Daniel still hadn't said a word as he handed her a bag that had been sitting at his feet. "Why don't you open this before you tell me why you were going to call."
She motioned him inside, and he entered and shut the door behind him, but didn't make any move to leave the foyer.
Michelle opened the bag and found a giant poinsettia inside. "Daniel, you shouldn't have."
"A friend said that after you annoy a woman, flowers are the best way to say you are sorry."
Well, the fact he'd known she'd been angry—even if he'd called it annoyed—was no surprise. She'd so totally overreacted. "Now I feel worse."
"You're supposed to feel better because I do apologize."
"You're being nice. And you really don't need to apologize. I was planning to apologize to you." She took a deep breath. "Daniel, you didn't try to tell me what to do, you only offered an opinion. And I overreacted. I'm sorry."
"Forgiven. I should have stepped back and let you handle it. It wasn't my place to say anything."
"No, you were right," she told him, still hugging the poinsettia to her chest. "It's been Brandon and me on our own for so long. When he was little, I made unilateral decisions about what was best for him. Somewhere along the line, he grew up, and I didn't notice. I mean, he's still a child and I still have the ultimate say-so, but he's old enough to have some say. I have to learn to listen better. You made me do that, listen to what mattered to him."
"And what did you decide?" Daniel asked.
"That I'd let him try out. And because I'm such a bad aunt, I'm going to be saying my prayers that he sucks."
Daniel chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan."
"Do you want to come in? All the way in?"
"I didn't mean to intrude. I know we've been spending quite a lot of time together recently and I don't blame you for needing some space. Ours has been a whirlwind. . ." He let the sentence die off, as if he didn't know how to define exactly what they were.
"Please, come in. You're right, we have been in each other's company, but rarely alone. Brandon is at Sean's. That's Carly's son. He won't be home until after dinner, and I've been rattling around the house. If you come in, we'll have some time to talk."
She thought he was going to leave, but the moment passed, and he nodded.
"Great. Do you want something to drink?" she asked.
"I'm fine." He took off his boots and coat. He hesitated before putting the coat on the hook.
"Problem?"
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"I thought the other night that this was the hook I hung my coat up on every time I came here. It's starting to feel. . .normal? Familiar. As if I'd claimed it for my own."
She knew what he meant. They'd fit in together quickly. It felt almost surreal.
"Daniel, I hereby bequeath you that hook. It's yours to use any time you come over." She tried to make a joke, but it fell flat.
Daniel laughed anyway. "Thanks. You've been very gracious about this entire situation. I'd hoped we'd have some news today, but there was nothing in the mail."
"Here, either." Before she lost her nerve, she said, "About the other night. Thanks. Brandon and I talked, really talked, when we got home. He said he needed to see if hockey was what he was meant to do. That he wanted what you and I had found. You and your woodworking and me. . ."
"What did he say you were meant to do?"
She melted all over again, remembering. "He said that raising him was what I was meant to do."
She turned and walked into the living room, leaving Daniel to follow her, giving herself time to compose herself. She sat on the couch, and he sat on the other end. "I hope what I was meant to do, more than carpentry, is being a father to Brandon. If the test says I am, what then?"
"I don't know. I mean, at first I was so afraid because I didn't know you. I didn't know what kind of man you were. Now I do. And as much as that's a comfort, I still don't know how we're going to make this work."
"And if the test comes back and I'm not Brandon's father? Are you going to kick me to the curb?"
"What?" The question wasn't one she'd expected.
"You don't know what to do with me if I am Brandon's father, so what if I'm not? Do you have a more definite idea what you're going to do with me then?"
"I don't understand. What do you want me to say?"
"Listen, I opened the door and found Brandon on the porch asking if I was his father. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I knew that if I was his father, I'd take responsibility. I know what it's like to have a father who doesn't care. Who just walks away. I couldn't do that to my kid. Now, I'm pretty sure I can't walk away no matter what that test shows. You two have come to mean something to me."