“Oh, Killean,” she breathed. “I am so sorry.”
Killean pulled her hand away from his arm. “You weren’t there. Don’t apologize for it, and don’t feel sorry for me.”
Tears welled in her eyes as he turned away from her and paced over to the window. He pulled a corner of the curtain aside to peer out. Though she’d glimpsed the boy he’d been, he was stealing himself into a ruthless man again, but then he would have had to become hardened to survive what was done to him.
They were only children and hunters, the ones she’d always considered the good guys, had done unspeakable things to them. She didn’t doubt Savages inflicted the same abuse on other innocents, but hunters were supposed to be above that.
Her tears dried up as rage swelled forth. If it had been possible for those hunters to still be alive, she would have killed them herself for doing such a thing to those children, and to her Killean. Her fangs pricked at the idea of him enduring that abuse, and suddenly, she had an overwhelming urge to kill something too.
Then she recalled his words after he’d scrubbed at the blisters on his hands and understanding dawned. “Don’t feel sorry for them; they were all pieces of shit and some of the worst of the human race. Each of them was either a rapist or child molester. Their deaths mean someone else won’t suffer at their hands.”
“This is why you only killed rapists and child molesters,” she breathed as understanding dawned. It was also why he’d seemed so upset when he asked her if Joseph or anyone else had violated her. He knew how horrible such a thing was, and he didn’t want anyone else to have to suffer through the same thing he had.
Killean didn’t reply, but she knew she was right.
“You were only children,” she said.
“We were nothing to them, and they let us know it.”
“No wonder you hate that I’m your mate so much.”
And her heart broke as she realized he might never be able to let go of his past and see her as anything more than a hunter—a thing he despised.
Killean’s attention shifted to her, and the tears shimmering in her eyes caused his hand to fall away from the curtain.
“But I don’t hate it,” he said. “Yes, in the beginning, I was infuriated by it and believed it the cruelest twist of fate. I vowed to let you rot with Joseph, but I found myself unable to leave you there. Then I vowed to get you free, take you back to your kind, and never see you again. Now I know you’re much more than I thought you were, and I’m such a miserable, selfish prick that I don’t want to let you go.”
Admitting that to her terrified him more than admitting his past did.
Simone didn’t know how to feel about that. The wildness she sensed in Killean frightened her; she didn’t know what he would do, how well he could control himself, or if he would ultimately lose himself as Joseph and the other Savages had, but Simone knew she could ease the turmoil churning through him.
“You gave up everything for me; that’s far from selfish, Killean. And whether you believe it or not, you deserve to be here; you deserve to have lived.”
“I have to feed,” he said again.
She brushed her hair off her neck as she closed the distance between them. “You don’t have to go out to feed; I’m right here.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Saliva rushed into Killean’s mouth as he gazed at the tempting curve of her delicate neck. A single, brown freckle just below her ear was the only thing marring the perfection of her ivory skin. He rested his fingers against her throat to feel her steady pulse. Such an enticing beat; such an alluring woman. She lured him like no other, but if he fed on her…
It would be one step closer to completing the mating bond, one step closer to Simone never being free of Savages for he held out little hope for himself anymore.
“Killean—”
“If I drink from you, it will only further the mate bond between us.” His fingers traced her throat while he spoke. “Drinking from each other and sex will seal it.”
“I’m not offering you my body, Killean, only my blood.”
“It will still make it more difficult for us to resist each other, and you have to be able to walk away from me.”
“Why?” she demanded.
Killean blinked at her. Didn’t she see him for what he was? “Because you deserve better than me, and I am not the man I was before.”
“Well, that man kissed me and told me to get back to the hotel,” she reminded him. “My memories of him aren’t overly fond ones.” Though she would forever remember the searing heat of her first kiss and the passion it awakened in her.
“And the man before you is a monster.”
She clasped his hand against her throat and held it there. “The man before me saved my life and can be whatever he chooses to make himself.”
“You don’t know the things I want… the things I need now.”
“No, but I know what I can give you to help ease your need. Allow me to do it.”
A stronger man would have stepped away from her; two weeks ago, he would have stepped away from her, but his gaze remained fastened on her neck as his need to kill became replaced by a compulsion to taste her.
When his hunger beat against her, Simone released his hand and lowered hers. His fingers caressed her skin before sliding around to cup her nape. Those exquisite tiger’s eyes and his touch burned into her flesh until she felt consumed by the power of him. She played with fire by allowing him to do this, but she found herself throwing open her arms and plunging into the blaze.
Her life had been tossed into a tailspin when she was taken and turned; since then, this was the first thing to happen that she knew was right.
Simone held her breath when he bent his head, and his warm breath tickled her throat. His fangs scraped her flesh, and she braced herself for the agony to follow, but she would handle the pain, as he’d managed it when she fed on him.
Then his fangs sank into her flesh, and Simone stiffened as she fought her instinct to shove him away.
The first drop of her potent blood hit his tongue when he felt Simone’s resistance building against him and a sliver of her pain teased his mind. He craved the misery of others, but not Simone. Retracting his fangs, he pulled away from her.
“What… what’s wrong?” she stammered.
Killean caressed her nape as he gazed at her pale face and upturned chin. “I won’t hurt you.”
“But it always hurts.”
He mentally kicked himself for being an idiot. Her only experience with having someone take her blood had been a brutal one. Yet, having endured Joseph’s vicious assault on her, she still willingly offered him her throat all while expecting to have to suffer again.
After everything he’d said and done to her, she still wanted to help him. His life had been brutal, what happened to him as a child forever altered him, but she’d experienced her own horror. She’d watched many she loved die, while others were twisted into something else entirely, yet the beauty of her soul remained untarnished. He’d called her a dolly, but he was the one broken by his past, while hers strengthened her.
He’d never hated himself more. Simone was his mate, and she deserved so much better than him. He’d never wanted to be a better man before, but he did now, for her.
“I underestimated you,” he murmured as he bent to kiss her forehead then the tip of her nose. “You’re no doll; you’re a warrior and a stronger one than me.”
Simone didn’t know if he was playing with her or not, and if he were playing with her, she would hit him again. “I’m no fighter. I don’t even know how to throw a proper punch.”
His thumb ran over her full bottom lip as he held her gaze. “Not all warriors are fighters,” he murmured. “Some warriors never back down and give much of themselves to help others while making the world a better place. You are that kind of warrior, Simone. Though I am going to teach you how to protect yourself better.”
“I plan to learn.”
“You de
serve better than me as your mate.”
Simone frowned at him. “Give yourself some credit, Killean. Many wouldn’t have come for me; many wouldn’t have been brave enough or strong enough to do what was necessary to get in there and back out again. I’m here because of you, and I’m offering my blood to you. I’ll endure the pain like you did when I fed on you.”
His smile robbed her of her breath as it lit his eyes, and she caught a glimpse of the happier man he might have been if not for that horrific night of his childhood. But she didn’t want him to be a different man; she wanted this dark and twisted soldier.
“I experienced only ecstasy when you fed on me,” he told her. “You’re a young vampire and didn’t allow yourself to open to my feelings, but if you had, you would have discovered that having you drink from me is one of the greatest joys of my life. The other is knowing the honeyed taste of your orgasm.”
Her cheeks burned, but whether it was from his blunt words or the desire they awakened, she didn’t know.
“That day on the beach was the first time I felt desire for a woman in nearly a hundred years,” he continued.
“How is that possible?” she blurted.
“When a purebred vampire reaches maturity, they begin to hunger for something so incessantly it starts to take them over. For me, all I wanted was death. Eventually, it eclipsed my desire for women and anything else, until you. A mate can curb the appetites of a pureblood while bringing that vampire back to life in many ways, which is what you have done for me.”
Simone opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out.
“When I drink from you, it doesn’t have to be painful; in fact, it can be very stimulating.” His finger ran over the curve of her cheekbone before dipping down to the collar of her shirt. Fresh color spread across her flesh when he stroked her exposed chest bone with his knuckles. “Don’t resist my bite, and you will know only pleasure from it.”
All her nerve endings tingled from the exquisite promise of his words. Killean lowered his hand to her hip before drawing her closer to him. His other hand clasped her neck as he bent his head; his lips teased hers in a caress lighter than a spring breeze. Then his tongue briefly brushed her mouth before he nipped at her bottom lip.
Simone sighed when his fang pricked her flesh; he licked away the bead of blood he created. He nipped her again, and though the smallest pinprick of discomfort followed, she experienced none of the bone-shattering, complete immobility that arrested her when Joseph feasted from her. The following hours and what felt like weeks of torture gripping her throughout her transition faded away as Killean’s tongue teased her lips until she opened her mouth to let him taste her.
She’d said she was only offering him her blood and not her body, but his kiss made her want to throw those words out the window. The clothing that had been so comfortable was suddenly abrasive against her skin.
His hand on her hip slid around to cup her ass. Drawing her closer, he lifted her until she was flush against the hard evidence of his arousal. She rocked against him while he deepened the kiss.
Killean had only meant to taste her, but he should have known he would crave more of her; he’d been unable to resist her from the beginning. All his life he’d taken what he wanted, and Killean wanted her more than the revenge he’d sought on the hunters who slaughtered his family. He’d never been able to find those bastards, but he could have her.
His mouth slid away from hers and across her cheek before dipping to her neck. She tensed when he licked her flesh but eased against him as she recalled the ecstasy his tongue had given her yesterday.
“Don’t resist my bite, and you will know only pleasure from it.” His words ran through her mind as his fangs grazed her skin. He wouldn’t lie to her about this when the truth would be so easy to discern.
Then his fangs pierced her skin, slightly above the marks he already created on her. The pinch was fleeting, but Simone’s breath still caught. Don’t resist; don’t resist. It became a mantra in her head until she realized he was drawing her blood, and she didn’t feel like shrieking to the heavens to make it stop.
When she felt his next pull, something inside her melted as a wetness spread between her legs. She’d felt his torment earlier and his compulsion to destroy, but now all she experienced was his joy. When he bit deeper, Simone reacted like she’d grabbed a live wire as her body jerked toward him.
Killean growled as her potent blood filled his mouth and slid down his throat; it was an ambrosia he’d never get enough of tasting. More power than the lives he’d taken slithered through him as her blood filled him.
With his hand on her ass, he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. As she rose and fell against his erection, her fingers dug into his nape, and her head fell forward as a growing pressure built within her. She sought the release he’d given her yesterday, but she also wanted more of him as the rush of his pulse filled her ears. Without thinking, she sank her fangs into his throat, and his hot blood filled her mouth.
Killean’s self-restraint vanished when Simone’s hunger surged forth to blend with his. In two strides, he covered the distance to one of the beds, and without breaking his bite on her, he laid her down and settled over the top of her.
Chapter Thirty
Feeling completely out of control with his blood filling her and her growing need for more of him, Simone’s hands dropped to the bottom of his shirt, and she tugged it up. She had to feel more of him, but when his lower back was exposed and she felt his chiseled muscles against her fingers, she realized it wasn’t enough.
Unwilling to release her bite on him to pull the shirt over his head, her fingers gripped the material, and she yanked it apart impatiently. She had no idea where her years of proper breeding went, and she didn’t care as the shirt fell away and her hands rested on his back. However, it still wasn’t enough of him.
Releasing his bite on her, Killean gripped the sides of Simone’s shirt and pulled it apart. Buttons rattled around the room as they rolled into the shadowy recesses. When she was bared to him, his hands splayed across her ribcage before moving down to her concave belly. She wiggled beneath him as his fingers found the button of her jeans and pulling it free. Then he tugged the zipper down.
He traced the contours of her hip bones as he tugged her jeans and underwear lower. Her fingers eased their grip on his back when he shifted, and she retracted her fangs. He pulled her clothes the rest of the way off and tossed them aside.
Running his hands over her shapely calves and up her thighs, he relished her silky skin while he massaged her flesh. The intoxicating scent of her arousal excited him further as he explored her hips before lifting her into a seated position and pulling off her ruined shirt.
Simone nuzzled the hollow of his throat while removing the remains of his tattered shirt. With the taste of his blood lingering on her tongue, she found herself yearning for more of it as he unhooked her bra and tossed it aside.
Cool air rushed over her bare flesh, and she realized that for the first time in her life, she was naked in front of a man. Instead of trying to cover her nudity, she enjoyed it when his eyes ran hungrily over her. She’d grown up with the rules their skirts must be ankle length, their blouses loose-fitting, and their colors respectful, but she relished being exposed to a man who so obviously desired her.
I’m free! She almost laughed out loud at the realization, but she was far too caught up in Killean to laugh.
Killean stiffened when her fingers traced the scar on his chest, but he didn’t knock her hand away this time. Instead, he let her explore him as the healing warmth of her touch seeped through his skin and into his soul. He should stop this and take her back, leave her with those who would protect her, and vanish from her life before he destroyed her, but he couldn’t.
He’d been a selfish bastard his whole life, and he still was. Unless she stopped him, he would claim her.
Simone was enraptured with Killean’s body as she ran her fingers
down the line cutting down the center of his abs and through the hair traveling from his navel to the waistband of his jeans. His skin, pulled taut over the lean muscles carving his torso, was supple.
Killean couldn’t tear his eyes away from her rapt expression as she explored his body. No one had ever looked at him like that; it was as if she couldn’t get enough of him. With everything she knew about him, she should be revolted by him, but she remained fascinated.
Then her hands fell to the button of his jeans, and she slid it free before tugging the zipper down. When his rigid cock sprang free, she caressed the head of it with her thumb. The small smile curving her lips was more a mystery to him than the one Mona Lisa wore.
When he clasped her neck, her eyes came back to his. He stared at her before bending his head to claim her lips. Her fingers curled into his chest, her lips parted, and he tasted his blood on her. He was already inside her, and she him, but he wanted more.
Reaching down with his free hand, he pulled his jeans further down his hips as she enclosed her fingers loosely around his shaft and gave a tentative stroke. Grasping her hand, he encircled it more firmly around him and guided her down before up again. Simone didn’t try to pull away; instead, she followed his guidance and grew more confident in her touch while he kissed her.
His fingers grazed the tops of her lush breasts before he cupped one and ran his thumb over her nipple. It puckered beneath his ministrations, and he gave it a small pinch she reacted to with a delicious moan. Killean groaned when her thumb sliding over his head spread his precum.
Breaking the kiss, Killean gently pulled her hand away from him before grasping his jeans and shoving them the rest of the way off.
Bound by Darkness: The Alliance Series, Book 3 Page 19