Take Me Again

by Carly Phillips

  A muscle ticked in Ethan’s jaw. “Go on.”

  “And she was having an affair with him.” Sebastian forced the words past the lump in his throat. “The bastard told me himself.” Sebastian didn’t mention that they had a photo from the man’s social media. There was no good in showing Ethan his wife on another man’s lap.

  Ethan’s gaze hardened. “Thank you for not sugarcoating the truth,” he said. “You can all go now.”

  “Ethan, I know this is a shock,” Sierra said, as Ashley came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

  “It is what it is. I appreciate hearing it and I don’t want a pity party. So do me a favor, everyone. And go.”

  Sierra glanced from Parker to Sebastian, obviously at a loss. She strode over to Ethan, kissed his cheek, and walked out. Parker slapped him on the shoulder and did the same. Sebastian took his cue from his middle sibling.

  He walked up to Ethan. “I’m here for you,” he said, then turned and left the room, leaving Ethan alone with Ashley.

  * * *

  Ashley stood in Ethan’s office after his siblings had gone and bit down on the inside of her cheek, wondering if she should leave or force Ethan to talk to her. His family had left, so maybe they knew better. Turning, she started for the door.

  “Wait,” Ethan said.

  She looked back and paused.

  “I’m going to be fine,” he told her.

  She couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips. “I know that. You’re strong.”

  “I also already knew.”

  She narrowed her gaze on his. “Knew what?”

  He placed the paperweight he’d still been holding down on his desk. “I knew that Mandy was cheating on me. The marriage had been shit for a long time, and she was stretching out her time in San Francisco. She didn’t even try to hide the late-night phone calls, when she’d slip out onto the terrace.” He rolled his shoulders, the burden of what he’d been carrying big and painful. Hurt washed across his expression. “Things were a mess for her and between us. And I couldn’t fix it.”

  And Ashley knew how much he’d wanted to. That was Ethan’s MO. He liked to make things better for the people he loved. And at one time, he had loved his wife.

  “I’m sorry,” she said for lack of anything wiser or better to add. She spread out her hands. “You deserved better.”

  He blew out a long breath. “It hurt,” he admitted. “Still does.”

  She walked over and took his hand. “I don’t have anything to offer but clichés. Like, it’ll get better with time.”

  He let out a low chuckle. “I didn’t know she was stealing from the business, but I knew something wasn’t right. I needed you and Sebastian to figure out the details. Thank you for going with him.”

  She nodded. “It’s all settled now.”

  “And you’re going back to London soon?” he asked.

  “Next week.” She swallowed the lump in her throat at the thought of leaving. “Unless you need me longer? I can talk to my bosses–”

  He shook his head. “You’ve done plenty. Thank you.” He studied her for a long while, until she was squirming beneath his stare.

  “What?” she asked.

  He braced a hand on the desk and said, “He’s going to miss you, you know.”

  At his stark, unexpected words, she blinked in surprise.

  “Sebastian,” he continued before she could play dumb, because she didn’t want to talk about her relationship with Sebastian, and Ethan knew her well enough to understand that.

  “We’ve made peace with the past,” she said, hoping he’d take her explanation for the vague one it was.

  “You did more than that and you know it.” Ethan paused, then said, “Parker told me that he called Sebastian one morning and he woke you both. Together.”

  Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. She’d never discussed her love life with Ethan, and she didn’t intend to start now. “That’s none of your business.”

  A flush rose to his face, telling her he wasn’t any more comfortable with the direction of this conversation than she was.

  He cleared his throat. “I never thought I’d have to say this, but it is my business if you hurt my brother.”

  His words came like a painful blow. “I wouldn’t hurt him,” she said, trying not to be offended by the insinuation. But coming from Ethan, a man she considered her older brother, it hurt. “How could you suggest such a thing?”

  Ethan grasped both her hands in his and met her gaze. “I saw how he looked at you, Ashley. And my playboy brother, the man who’s never had a relationship that meant anything to him other than fun, he’s fallen for you. Hard.”

  She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Last night Sebastian had been trying to cajole her back into bed. He’d also alluded to the fact that they both had feelings for each other, and she’d known he was right.

  “He’s in love with you,” Ethan said.

  Her heart began to race in triple time. “No,” she said, panicking at the thought. “He doesn’t do love or relationships. We agreed when we started that we were both the same. We understood each other.”

  Ethan sighed. “Well, something’s changed for him. And I suspect for you, too, but you’re fighting it. Afraid to trust because everyone in your life has always let you down.”

  At the stark truth and painful reminder, tears welled in her eyes and threatened to fall. “You never let me down,” she whispered, holding on to the one truth that helped her through so many otherwise lonely times.

  “And maybe Sebastian’s grown up enough that he won’t do it again.”

  “I live in London,” she said, fighting him because she didn’t know any other way but to be self-sufficient and independent … and across the ocean from the first man who’d broken her heart.

  No matter how much she felt for him now, could she really uproot her life? Not that he’d even asked her to. Surely Ethan was reading too much into a few glances between them.

  “There’s always a job here for you. A place here.” Ethan touched his heart.

  Her thoughts went immediately to how badly he’d been hurt. “You’re such a good man. I’m sorry about everything you’re going through.”

  He shook his head in a chiding gesture. “Changing the subject when you don’t like what I’m saying. Some things stay the same,” he said, nailing her behavior accurately.

  She forced a smile, his words from earlier staying with her. He’d given her a lot to think about, and her stomach was twisting badly.

  But she had to focus on Ethan and what he needed right now, and that was a lot easier than thinking about herself. “Promise me you’ll lean on your family. You won’t withdraw into your penthouse and suffer in silence,” she said.

  “I promise you I’m dealing with all this as best I can.”

  It was the most she was going to get from him, and she had no choice but to accept it. As for her relationship with Sebastian, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do. She had her life in London, but she couldn’t deny her feelings for him, either. Something had to give, and she didn’t know if she should follow her head … or her heart.

  * * *

  Ashley didn’t have work to do, and Ethan didn’t need her in the office. Although she really could have gone back to London, the sad truth was, she was in no rush to go back. Sebastian was right. She didn’t want to face Jonathan and his relentless pursuit, and since she had the extra week, she intended to take it.

  She didn’t make muffins for Ethan, knowing he’d had enough of her hovering. She did, however, decide to enjoy her time in New York City. She started by buying tickets for a show on Wednesday and planned to go to a popular lunch restaurant on Tuesday. She left Ethan alone, knowing he was working through his pain, and no matter how much she wanted to be with Sebastian, she believed it was better not to give him the wrong idea about what she wanted from him. Not when she didn’t yet know the answer to that herself.

  She read a boo
k on her phone during lunch and stopped for a manicure before heading back to the apartment. She let herself in and came to a halt. The entire kitchen counter was now filled with gorgeous roses. She didn’t care how cliché, the gesture touched her heart.

  She walked over to where a card sat in front of one of the vases. Pulling it out of the envelope, she read out loud. “Roses are red, violets are blue, you might live in London, but I still want you. Sebastian.”

  She held the card against her heart and sighed. The man had an amazing sense of humor on top of his sweetness. Knowing she couldn’t avoid him after this, she took the elevator to his floor and knocked on his door.

  He answered, wearing a pair of gray sweats … and nothing else. She glanced at his bare chest and swallowed a groan.

  “Can I help you?” he asked, an amused grin lifting the corners of his mouth. That sexy dimple teased her.

  “I wanted to thank you for the flowers.”

  “You’re welcome. Want to come in?” He stepped aside.

  But she already stood too close to him, was aware of the smell of his cologne, the masculine scent a powerful aphrodisiac. All she really wanted to do was reach out and touch that broad chest. Run her fingers through the light sprinkling of hair. Brush her lips over his.

  Instead she cleared her throat. “I really shouldn’t.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Afraid to be alone with me?” he asked, tongue in cheek. But he really wasn’t teasing. He obviously knew that was the truth.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she lied. “I just have … things to do in my apartment.”

  “Like what? Laundry? Washing your hair?” He chuckled, obviously aware she was making excuses so they didn’t end up in bed. “Enjoy your flowers,” he said, and closed the door, shutting her out.

  Just as she’d suggested she wanted.

  Frustrated, more with herself than with him, she headed back downstairs, took a long shower … and did, in fact, wash her hair.

  Wednesday arrived and she went to a wonderful Broadway show, enjoying herself even if she had gone alone. She couldn’t deny that she’d have had a better time if she’d had company. Like Sebastian. But she was sticking to her making-a-clean-break resolution.

  She kept busy doing touristy things through Friday. That evening, she returned to her apartment and let herself inside. This time, a chocolate basket with a big blue Ghirardelli bow on top waited for her. She walked over and took in the items, which included a box of chocolate-covered pretzels, chocolate squares, dark chocolate with sea salt caramel, chocolate chip cookies, and of course a supply of Ghirardelli chocolate bars. She inhaled deeply, imagining that she could smell the chocolate despite the wrapping.

  This time there was no card, but she knew who the gift was from and the sentiment behind it. She sat down with a sigh. What was she doing, torturing herself by staying away from Sebastian?

  When a knock sounded on her door, she jumped up to answer it, hoping it was him. Instead it was Sierra.

  Wearing a pair of black slacks and a light cream sweater, the other woman looked nervous as she stood in the doorway.

  “Hi,” Ashley said.

  “Hi. I was hoping we could talk?” Sierra asked.

  Surprised, Ashley stepped aside. “Come inside.”

  Sierra walked in and her gaze immediately went to the array of red roses and the chocolate basket Ashley had taken apart, item by item, and left on the table.

  “Hungry?” Ashley asked, laughing.

  “No, thank you, but wow. Sebastian’s really gone all out.”

  Ashley blushed. “How do you know it’s all from your brother?”

  “Seriously? I saw how he looked at you the other day in Ethan’s office. You totally grounded him and gave him the courage to tell Ethan what he needed to know.”

  “I didn’t realize anyone else noticed,” Ashley murmured.

  “It was hard not to. Sebastian’s never been head over heels before. It’s pretty obvious.”

  Ashley felt a flush rise to her face. “I don’t know about that.” The head over heels part, she thought. “We’re…” She wasn’t going to tell Sierra she’d been sleeping with her brother.

  “Right.” Sierra put her hands to her now red cheeks, getting the message. Her pretty engagement ring sparkled from her finger.

  “Congratulations, by the way,” Ashley said. “On your upcoming wedding.”

  “Oh! Thank you. It’s in a few months, and I feel like I have so much still to do.”

  Ashley smiled. “I can’t imagine,” she murmured.

  “But I’ll manage. My fiancé’s been so helpful. But back to the reason I’m here.”

  Ashley waited, while Sierra stepped farther inside before turning around to face her. “You’re really close with Ethan, and you’re in some sort of relationship with Sebastian.” Sierra drew a deep breath. “I thought we should talk.”

  “Okay.” Ashley didn’t know what to say. “Would you like to sit first?” she offered.

  Sierra shook her head. “I just need to get this out. I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever for?” Ashley asked.

  “When you came to live with us, when your mother married my father, I was a total bitch to you.”

  With a shake of her head, Ashley let out a laugh. “I wouldn’t say you were a bitch. You just didn’t…”

  “Do anything to make your life easier. I wasn’t warm or friendly. I didn’t introduce you to my friends. I left you to sink or swim on your own, and that sucked.” She swallowed hard. “I’m embarrassed now. By how jealous I was of you then. I was worried if I took you around my friends, they’d like you better than me.”

  Ashley was shocked. “Really? I just figured you didn’t want another girl in the house.”

  “That, too?” Sierra shook her head and sighed. “You couldn’t pay me to go back to being a teenager.”

  “Agreed.” Ashley slid her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. “But Sierra? You don’t owe me an apology. You didn’t do anything awful to me. And we’re adults now. It’s all good. I promise.”

  “Thank you,” she said, relief in her voice. “Because something tells me you’re going to be around a lot more, and I wanted to get everything out in the open.”

  Ashley chose not to correct her, not wanting to get into a conversation about herself and Sebastian or her imminent return abroad. Not when she was still so confused herself.

  Sierra leaned forward and pulled Ashley into a hug, taking her by surprise. “Thank you for being so great about everything.” She stepped back and smiled. “You’re good for my brother. I approve,” she said, then turned and walked out, leaving Ashley speechless.

  She shut the door behind Sierra and leaned her head against it, her heart beating hard in her chest. Because she needed to see Sebastian and be with him, talk to him, and get a handle on herself and her feelings.

  Before she could lose her nerve, she headed up to his apartment and knocked on the door, a feeling of déjà vu overtaking her. Except tonight she was going to go inside.

  She heard noise, then the turn of the lock, and found herself face-to-face with a pretty dark-haired woman.

  “What do you want?” the woman asked, her gaze taking in Ashley, who wore a pair of jeans and an unflattering band tee shirt, while this woman was dressed to impress.

  Ashley’s stomach churned at the sight of another woman in Sebastian’s home.

  “Dammit, Veronica, I told you I’d get it.” Sebastian’s voice traveled to her as he flung open the door. “Ashley,” he said, obviously stunned to see her there.

  She blinked hard. “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “Veronica was just leaving.” He met Ashley’s gaze without blinking.

  “But Sebastian–” Veronica reached for him with her long, manicured nails.

  No sooner had the woman touched him than Ashley snapped. “He said you were leaving, so just go. And get your claws off him.”

  Stunned, Veronica looked from Ashley t
o Sebastian. “It’s not your apartment, so it’s not your place to tell me what to do.”

  “But it’s mine, and she’s right. You need to leave,” he said, shaking her off, his voice adamant.

  Her expression turned angry. “Fuck you, Sebastian. You really suck. You know that?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe so but I never lied to you about what I wanted.”

  With a huff, Veronica stormed off in her heels and a cloud of expensive perfume.

  “What did she want?” Ashley asked, just as the elevator door opened and Veronica stepped inside.

  He ran a hand through his already messed hair. “To see me because I hadn’t been taking her calls.” He answered immediately, not pausing to think up an explanation.

  Ashley definitely knew who Sebastian had been before she’d returned to New York. Before he’d had the revelations he’d confided in her about and had decided to change. But was that Sebastian now?

  He grasped her hand. “She doesn’t mean anything to me.” He blew out a shaky breath. “Look, I know I handled women badly before you, but I never led them on. I never allowed them to think there was a future when there wasn’t. I told her there was no us, that she needed to leave, and the office called. I took it in the bedroom, thinking she’d go.” He paused, then said, “I honestly didn’t know she was still here until you knocked and she yelled out that she’d get it.” He spread his hands in a gesture of honesty. He didn’t look away or flinch, which told her a lot about what was or wasn’t going on here.

  “Do you believe me?” he asked, his voice uncertain, worried for the first time.

  She nodded without hesitation. He might have been a playboy at one time, but she knew he’d had a true revelation and wanted to be a better man. She believed in him, knew he had become the person he wanted to be. Sebastian wouldn’t be sending her flowers and candy, romancing her while sleeping with someone else.

  He just wouldn’t.

  He answered her with a kiss. One that took her off guard, when she’d been so carefully keeping them apart. She’d come here to thank him for the chocolate, not to fall into his arms.

  But it was so easy and it felt so right. Opening to him came naturally to her, as if he was the only one meant for her. And soon they’d made their way to the bed, tumbling onto the mattress.