by T. L Smith
“Did you do this to me?”
Falcon shakes his head and I see him grip the steering wheel hard, his knuckles turning white.
“Do you know who did?” He nods. “I want you to tell me everything. Not for the story but because I want to know.”
Leverage.
He looks to me, not watching the road as he drives. “That’s not smart.”
“It would keep me safer if I knew.”
He shakes his head. “It won’t.”
My teeth bite together, everything hurts, I want a bath and to never leave my bed again. “Tell me, Falcon.”
He sighs loudly. Pulling the car over to the side of the road, he turns to look at me, his hands on the steering wheel not moving.
“I fucking deserve to know considering this.” My hands go up in the air and land back on my legs. My wrists are going to be bruised, this much I know, I haven’t even looked at my feet.
“The place you’re trying to discover is an elite club. It stays elite because we make it that way, and we work very hard to keep it that way,” he says like it’s a matter of fact.
“You hurt people to keep it a secret.”
He shrugs. “They know what they sign up for. It’s their choice if they break the rules, just like breaking the law, and there is a consequence.”
Things start falling into place and then… it clicks.
“Oh my God, you were sending me those emails?” I ask turning to him.
He simply nods like it was nothing. “I was trying to warn you, you should have listened.”
I shake my head and turn to punch him, I miss and hurt my hand on his car door. “Fuck you, you asshole.”
“You should be dead! Thanks to me, you aren’t.”
I throw my hands up in the air, it’s a habit I seem to be developing since being with Falcon. “Should I be getting on my hands and knees to thank you? To thank your friends for trying to kill me? Who was it? Creed? He has that serial killer look about him, always has.” He doesn’t answer me. “Oh. My. God… it was him,” I say shaking my head.
“You were in his place just then, he told me where you were. He did it out of courtesy to me, and just so you are aware he wouldn’t usually do that.”
Tears spring from my eyes. I may not have been close to them all growing up, but I thought at least they would consider me a friend of a friend.
“I hate you!” I scream through angry tears.
Falcon starts the car up again and begins driving. I see my car in my driveway as we pull up. I open the door. And not looking back I walk slowly, and on sore feet to my front door.
“Please don’t publish anything, Ariel. If you want to ruin me, you can, but not them. They did nothing wrong.”
I shake my head at him and flip him the bird as I open the door. The second I step inside, I shut the door and lock it, then slide down, swiping at the angry tears that are falling.
I hear his footsteps come up to the door. They stop.
I hold my breath and wait.
Then he walks off.
And I remember to breathe.
That’s where Chad finds me the next day, still on the floor and still crying.
“Don’t quit work,” Chad says.
It’s been three days and I can’t stay here any longer, I need to go. Out of this town and back to breathing. Everywhere I look now reminds me of him, and I’m always looking over my shoulder thinking he will pop out from the bushes and take me away.
I chose to not publish the story and told my editor it was a dead end—let’s face it, I do value my life more than a single story. So, I chose life. I quit, and she didn’t even try to keep me. I feel bad about leaving Chad in this place all by himself, but I don’t want to be here with the chance I could run into him. That risk is too much, and I’m afraid of how I will act, or if the panic attacks will sneak back up on me again. I’ve had one every day since and I don’t want any more.
“I already did.”
Chad shakes his head, then his hand reaches out and touches my wrists—they are still sore. “I wish you would tell me what happened, you won’t say anything.”
I pull them away and try my hardest not to cry. I could have loved him, you know, I was so close. Too close for comfort. I’m kind of happy he destroyed it all this early, because now, even if it’s painful, it would have been a thousand times worse if I had given him my whole heart. Then it would be a shambles at my feet instead of fractured pieces right now.
“I’ll call, okay, and you’ll come and visit?” I ask and Chad nods his head. “But please don’t tell anyone where I am, not even Tracey. Even if she begs.” He nods again and leans in wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight until the tears finally stop falling.
“I love you, Ariel.”
“I love you, too. Thank you for being an amazing friend.”
He pulls back and taps my chin. “Come back, okay? Come back anytime. Take your time and get yourself better then come back.”
I nod, faking a smile as I grab my last box for the car. I left the bed not wanting to take that, it reminds me of him now.
I drive away and need to pull over. Those angry hot tears still leaking from my eyes and running down my cheeks don’t seem to want to stop, no matter how hard I tell them to. I blame him completely.
25
Falcon
My fists slam hard into Darby’s face. He stumbles back and then runs at me, so we both go flying to the floor, him landing on top. I turn, managing to knock him off, and punch into him from above. He yells at me but I don’t hear a word that’s said. He knocks me hard across my jaw, which makes me stop and shake my head. It gives him time to push me off and stand up. Darby shakes his head as I do, then rubs the palm of his hand over his jaw, spitting out a line of blood, and if looks could kill I would be dead. But right now, I don’t fucking care, I don’t give a flying fuck. I clench my fists and make my way toward him, and he straightens his posture ready for it. He goes to block me when I bring my fist up, but I trick him and use my other to punch him straight in the fucking gut. He bends over coughing.
“Enough, you made your point.”
Creed and Echo walk in. It’s late, they should have been gone already. Darby never leaves so I knew he would be here.
“I don’t think I have.”
Darby blocks me this time and manages to dodge my fists. “Enough,” he roars.
I charge him again just because I fucking can. I hit him and smash his back into the wall, then my fists slam into his side. I hear him grunt, then I’m being pulled backward.
“Calm the fuck down,” Creed says behind me, holding me still.
I should kill him, too. He knew, and more than likely organized for Ariel to be taken. After all, it is a part of what he does. But as I look up at Darby, anger radiates from me and I know it was all him. He stopped caring about everyone and anyone a long time ago, and if they messed with the business they weren’t for him. I grab my keys to this place and throw them at him. He looks down not understanding as Creed lets go of me.
Echo stands at the door silently observing.
“I quit.”
They all stop, eyes zooming in on me.
“No,” Echo says stepping into the room and shaking his head. “You just need time to cool off.”
“I quit,” I say again.
It hits me in the gut, hard. I built this place with all three of them, but looking around now, I wonder how we got to where we are. How our relationships have changed us. How some have grown meaner and others not care at all.
I’m fucking done. I didn’t sign up for this. I signed up to make money and for the sex. Doing it with three of my best friends was merely a bonus.
“Calm down, no one is quitting,” Darby says wiping at his jaw.
I want to hit him the fuck again, this time even harder. I want to make him bleed and see how he likes it. Maybe I should cut him down to size, his head’s gotten too damn big.
“You’re wrong, I just
did.” Darby shakes his head. Creed doesn’t say anything, just stares at me as Echo opens and closes his mouth with his words unable to leave.
“So, you’re pissed, get over it. You think Creed didn’t want to kick my ass as well?” He points to Creed who doesn’t say anything, he never fucking does.
“Do I look like I give a fuck what Creed wants to do? Kicking your ass is already done. I’m done. I don’t want to fucking see your face again.” I turn to leave, but Echo blocks my way by standing in front of the door.
“Just think about it. Don’t make decisions yet, you need time to calm down.”
I laugh at him and lean in close. “No, Echo, when I’m done, I’m done. Now fucking move before I fucking move you myself.” I see him contemplating not shifting. It swirls in his eyes then he sighs and steps to the side letting me go.
“If you walk out, you won’t be allowed back in, Falcon.” I flip Darby off and keep going all the way to the front door. Turning and looking back one last time, I see them all up in his office looking down at me.
I smile, then wave a sarcastic goodbye.
Fuck them.
I make it to my car fast. The steering wheel feels almost breakable under my hands and I have to be careful I don’t shatter it into a million pieces like I want to. I go straight to Ariel’s house, but her car isn’t there, and when I knock, Chad answers and crosses his arms over his chest.
“Can I help you?”
Oh fuck, she must have said something.
“Where is she?”
He shrugs and I push past him to her room. Chad yells at me about calling the police, but I don’t listen until I open her door. She isn’t there. Actually, nothing is there at all, it’s empty apart from the bed we once shared.
As I spin around, Chad stands close, his cell gripped tightly in his hand.
“She left?” I ask him.
He nods his head. “Don’t ask me where. Now leave.”
I do, knowing that even if he did know, he wouldn’t tell me anyway. Why would he, his loyalty is to her, and I broke that into a million pieces.
My hands bang hard on the steering wheel as I try to call her and it goes straight to voicemail, so I ring Tracey.
“What’s wrong?” Tracey says into the cell.
“Have you heard from Ariel?”
“No, why?”
“Darby did some fucked-up shit, and now she packed her shit and ran away,” I say into the cell. I don’t need to describe to Tracey what ‘some fucked-up shit’ is, she more than likely can work that out on her own. Tracey hangs up, and I know she’s going to call Ariel, but I’m afraid she won’t get an answer. I wait patiently, driving home and staring at my cell waiting for Tracey to call me back. When she does, I almost jump from my skin.
“She quit her job, and never wants to see you again,” she says quietly.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I say rubbing my forehead.
“I’m sorry, Falcon, I love you. And I can see you like her, more than you care to admit, but some lines shouldn’t be crossed. You need to let this one go. She isn’t coming back.”
I sigh and hang up.
What the fuck have I done?
26
Ariel ‘Raven’
One Month Later…
* * *
The sting has lessened, but not gone away. I stopped talking to Tracey just so I could clear my head, and she agreed not to call me for a while. It’s been a month now, and I miss her. I’m still healing. I have to heal after what happened. To have your life put in danger to better your career was not something I signed up for. Shit, to be with someone who you knew would hurt you was a risk. But the hurt was worse than any normal hurt, this one was ten times worse. Fuck! I mean I woke up drugged and tied to a chair. Granted, nothing happened but still. That’s not something a normal person wants to go through. Maybe it’s his normal—I don’t even know and don’t care. I put that behind me and I’m now looking for work. My mother insists I need to leave the house.
He came here looking for me, but thankfully Mom lied and said she hadn’t seen me. I hugged her tight after that, which followed with plenty of questions I wasn’t willing to answer.
“You can do it,” I say nodding my head, looking at myself in the mirror. I run my hand through my now short hair which I cut off a few weeks ago.
A new me.
I needed the change to feel good. And it did feel good, but sometimes I do miss it. Tying it up in a bun was easy, now I always have to make sure it’s straightened or curled. It isn’t as easy as throwing it up in a bun on the top of my head anymore.
“You look beautiful,” my mother says making me jump on the spot. “You sure you don’t want to go back to the city and get the type of job you wanted? You don’t have to get one here to be close to me.” I thought about going back, but I’m not quite ready, yet.
What if I saw him again?
“No, I’m excited for today,” I lie through my teeth. It’s a small-town paper covering shit stories. But it’s all that’s available right now around here. And with quitting my last job, I need to work up my references.
“I wish I didn’t know when you’re lying.” She cringes, then shakes her head and walks away.
I put on some pink lip gloss and run my hands through my straight, black hair one last time, checking that my skirt has no wrinkles and my button-up shirt is covering all my cleavage. When I walk down, Mom is speaking to someone which makes me pause. Hardly anyone comes to visit, not because she doesn’t socialize, she does. She just prefers to keep her house to herself.
“I won’t be a bother at all Mrs.—”
“You’re no bother, Tracey. I think she’s getting ready to leave, I’ll let her know you’re here.” Mum turns around, and sees me at the stairs and pauses, waiting for me to make my way down to her. I take a few breaths, I can do this. She’s my best friend, it’s not like I have anything to hide. I know Tracey better than most.
“Hi, Tracey.” She waves at me as I walk into the entrance of the house, and when I get closer her hands wrap around me. I see it before I can stop it as I manage to hug her back.
“No more, okay? I’m dealing with a very emotional wife, I need you.” I hear my mother walk away leaving us standing there by ourselves. She manages to pull back to look at me. “Where are you going?”
I shrug. “I have an interview.” The words leave me in a rush.
She looks me over. “You never wanted to work here, that’s why we moved to the city.” She’s right, that doesn’t change the fact that the last place I want to be is near him. “Is what he did that bad?” she asks.
“It is, you don’t want to know.”
“Okay, but I came here to make you an offer.”
“An offer?” I ask confused. She plays with the cell in her hand.
“Storm heard about your situation and has offered you a job.” I don’t know what to say. “So, I came here to see if you would take it. I mean, you don’t have to, but the pay is good and it’s still writing.”
“For a fashion magazine?” I ask.
She nods her head. “It’s not as bad as you think. It’s good, have you ever read one of our articles. We have some of the best writers in the country.” The magazine wins awards every year, so I know she’s telling the truth. I wanted to be a journalist, though, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“I don’t know, Tracey, I don’t know if I’m ready to come back.”
“You don’t have to see him, I won’t even tell him. He hardly leaves his house anymore anyway.”
I’m shocked by her words—Falcon’s a social butterfly. He craves other people’s attention.
“What about his work?”
She looks to the floor, and it takes her a while before she looks back up to me. She shrugs and I don’t push it any more.
“Call me after, okay? See how you like this interview and call me if you want it. I spoke to Chad, he said your room is still there if you want to come back…”
She pauses. “I miss you and I need my best friend. I want you to be the godmother to our child.”
My mouth opens but somehow I manage to close it. “I’m not sure you want me taking that responsibility.”
Tracey shrugs. “We do, trust me. I don’t have faith in anyone more than I do you.” She walks me out and tells me all about the ultrasound they had last week, and how excited they are.
She doesn’t bring up her brother again, for which I am thankful.
My hands tremble as I stand walking into the office behind a woman—job interviews are the worst. And even though I know most of the people here—I grew up around this area. I worked for a successful paper and now this one is small in comparison. I want to go back, I miss everyone incredibly but what else can I do.
“Your resume is impressive, Ariel, but I’m afraid the positon we have may not be what you are looking for. It’s only a few hours a week to write small articles…” She pauses then looks up to me. “I mean I would hire you on the spot if you want the position, having you on our team would be an asset. But I feel also it may be a stepping down for you and hold you back from anything that might be available. And unfortunately, I don’t have any positions available that have more hours.”
I take in her words, she’s right. It’s me stepping down and running from things I shouldn’t be running from. I’ll miss Chad, Tracey, and so much more of my life that I created in the city.
“I think you may be right. I’m sorry to have wasted your time.” I stand and she walks over to shake my hand.
“If I have a better position come available, should I call you?” she asks hopeful.
I should tell her yes, but my insides tighten and I know the answer before it leaves my mouth. “No. I think my place is back in the city. Sorry for wasting your time.”
“Don’t even worry about it. It was a pleasure to meet you. I hope to see great things from you in the future.” I smile at her kind words and walk out knowing what I need to do. As I walk out I hear my name being called.