‘Hey, I didn’t say you could turn it over.’
‘But you’ve seen it loads already. You know how it ends. He bows, they clap. Blah, blah, blah.’
‘It’s not why I was watching it,’ she muttered, but what did a ten-year-old boy know about coping with a long-distance relationship? With a sigh she stood up. ‘Fine. I relinquish control. The television is yours to pollute with whatever rubbish you want to watch.’
Luke stared at her curiously. ‘Were you watching it ’cos he’s a long way away?’
She did a double take. ‘Actually, yes.’
‘Is it like when you took photos of us with you to that show ’cos you wanted to see us even when we weren’t there?’
Love rushed through her, soothing the ache in her heart. ‘It’s exactly like that. I miss Michael and I thought watching him on the television would help.’
‘Did it?’
Sadly she shook her head. ‘No, sweetie.’ She sat back down and put her arms around his slim shoulders. ‘But hugging you definitely does.’
‘You’ll see him soon when you go to New York.’ He frowned, his bottom lip jutting forward. ‘But then I’ll miss you.’
She swallowed and hugged him closer. ‘And I’ll miss you too, cutie chops.’
He screwed up his face at her nickname. ‘Not cool, Mum. How long will you be away?’
‘I leave Friday morning and I’m back Monday morning, hopefully before you go to school.’ Michael had pleaded with her to stay longer – he was in New York for a week – but how could she when she needed all her annual leave for when Jack and Luke broke up from school? Already she felt guilty taking a day, because that was one day less she’d spend with them in the holidays.
Luke counted up on his fingers. ‘That’s three days.’
‘Yes, but you’ll be at school most of Friday so it’s really only the weekend. And you’ll have fun with your dad and Annabel.’
‘Can’t we come to America?’
‘You know you can’t miss school, and with all the travelling and the time difference it won’t be much fun.’
‘So why are you going?’ Jack had come in and settled on the other side of her.
‘’Cos she misses him.’ Luke pursed his lips and made lots of kissing noises which cracked Jack up.
‘But won’t you miss us?’ Jack challenged.
‘Of course I will.’ She put an arm round each of their shoulders, hugging them close. ‘You two are more important to me than anyone or anything else in this world. If you don’t want me to go, I won’t go.’
Luke bit into his bottom lip and stared at her with his guileless blue eyes. ‘I don’t want you to go.’
Jack gave his brother a prod. ‘But she wants to see him, so it would be mean to stop her. We’ll be okay with Dad.’
‘I guess.’ Luke sniffed and stared sullenly at the television.
It was two subdued children who later went upstairs to bed.
Jessie was getting ready for bed herself when Annabel phoned.
‘Don’t shoot the messenger, but have you seen that picture of Michael in the gossip rag? There’s a photo of him and Georgina leaving the venue after his last show.’
That was something she really didn’t want to see. ‘How did she look? Haggard? Overweight. A big juicy zit on the end of her nose?’
‘Umm…’ She could almost see Annabel wincing. ‘If I say gorgeous, will you never speak to me again?’
With a huff Jessie slumped onto the bed. ‘You don’t get to be that lucky.’ Her pulse began to race as she asked the next question. ‘What were they doing?’
‘Just walking, though she does have her arm wrapped around him.’ Jessie winced as a barb of jealousy found its home in her chest. ‘There’s more, I’m afraid. Now they’re speculating on a love triangle between you, Michael and Georgina.’
Jessie felt a flash of anger. ‘Have they got nothing better to do than write this sort of drivel?’
‘Err, no? It is their job, after all.’
‘Yes, to report the news. Not to make it up.’
‘Hey, relax. You know it’s not true so stop getting in a flap. I only told you in case one of your nosey customers asked you about it.’
‘Okay, okay.’ She drew in a breath, letting it calm her. ‘Thanks for the heads-up.’
There was a pause, and Jessie steeled herself for what was coming next. Annabel only thought before she spoke when it was something important. ‘If you want my advice—’
‘And even if I don’t.’
Annabel gave a little laugh. ‘Yes, even if you don’t. Stop expending all your energy worrying about why you and Michael can’t work and start focussing on why it can. I know it must be hard trying to be a mum and a girlfriend to a globetrotting superstar, but if you both want it enough, you can make it happen.’
‘Yes, boss.’
But after she’d ended the call, Jessie couldn’t stop herself. She opened her laptop and googled Michael’s name. A few clicks later she was staring at the photographs of Michael and Georgina. Him tall and handsome in his tux with his bow tie undone. Georgina, his perfect match with her beautiful face and shiny blonde hair, leaning against him, her left arm wrapped around his waist.
She’d finally dropped off to sleep when her phone rang. The clock by the side of her bed showed 11.30 p.m., but it felt like the middle of the night. Groggily she looked at the caller ID.
‘Michael?’
‘You sound half asleep.’ There was a pause, then a soft curse. ‘Sorry, I’ve just realised it’s half eleven for you. I’m on my way to the concert hall. Shall I phone back tomorrow?’
‘I guess, as you’ve woken me up, you might as well stay on the line.’
‘Not at your best when your sleep has been rudely interrupted?’
She could hear the smile in his voice but with the pictures of him and Georgina still vivid in her head Jessie found it hard to smile back.
‘What did you want?’
‘To talk,’ he replied quietly, the placatory tone making her feel like a naughty child.
She sighed, sitting up in the bed. ‘Sorry. You’re right. Sleep deprivation puts a real dent in my humour.’ Before he could take it the wrong way, she added. ‘But if you can put up with that, it’s lovely to hear from you. How are things across the pond?’
They spent the next few minutes talking about his tour, and the arrival of Robert.
‘And Georgina? How is she? She looked very glamorous in the photos I saw from your last performance in Europe.’ Jessie was pleased with her tone. She could be a grown-up about all this.
There was a long silence on the other end as she imagined him carefully considering his next words. ‘I’m going to ignore the part about her looking glamorous because it sounds like a trap,’ he said finally. ‘And I assume she’s okay but I don’t know because she’s taking a few days holiday.’
‘Oh?’ Was it her imagination or did he sound uncomfortable.
‘I don’t want to talk about her, Jessie.’ There was a hint of frustration in his tone. ‘I want to talk about us. Are you still coming to New York next weekend?’
‘I said I would, so I will.’ It was her turn to sound frustrated.
She heard his muted curse. ‘Look, I didn’t ring to check up on you. Just to hear your voice.’
Bam. Emotion flooded through her. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not usually such a cow.’ She wiped at her eyes, hugely grateful this wasn’t Skype. ‘Of course I’m coming to New York. I miss you horribly.’
‘That makes two of us.’ He paused and she imagined him wondering how to balance over the eggshells she’d dumped in his path. ‘It won’t always be like this. The tour ends in five months. Of course then you might wish you were seeing less of me.’
She felt too flat, too down to laugh. Five months more of this sounded like hell. And as he’d already admitted he loved the man he became when he was singing to an audience, it wouldn’t be long before
he was off again.
Even when he was home, would he seriously want to spend his free evenings in her small semi-detached with two boys as chaperones?
‘Jessie?’
‘I’m still here.’ She yawned, feeling emotionally wrung out. ‘But I’m going to have to say goodnight.’
‘I’ll call you in a few days.’
He sounded as flat as she did, but there was a tightness to his voice too, as if she’d disappointed him. No, as if she’d hurt him. Belatedly she realised why. ‘Michael, just in case there was any doubt, I will never tire of seeing you. Never.’ Because I love you. The words were there, on the tip of her tongue and deep within her heart.
Maybe in New York she’d be brave enough to say them out loud, as he had.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Michael felt out of sorts; a fact hard to explain, even to himself. He was singing to full houses every night, receiving great reviews. Robert was with him, keeping him sane. Georgina was back from her break and, thank God, keeping things professional.
Jessie was arriving in a few days.
Or so he hoped.
And immediately he’d cut to the heart of the problem.
‘Michael?’ Georgina walked across the hotel foyer towards him. Since throwing herself at him so obviously, and being rejected, she found it hard to meet his eyes. A fact he was grateful for. ‘You did say you and Jessie were coming to the ball on Friday, didn’t you?’
The hotel they were staying in was holding a function in aid of a local charity. Though it seemed churlish not to at least show their faces, he hadn’t mentioned it to Jessie yet. Did that make him a coward? Most certainly. ‘I said I’d ask her if she felt like going.’
‘Oh, okay. If she does want to go though, she’ll need to bring a dress so she’d probably appreciate a bit of notice.’
He winced. ‘Crap, yes. You’re right. I’ll message her now.’
This time her eyes found his. ‘She’d be crazy to turn down the chance to dance with you.’
Before he could react – and heaven only knew how he was supposed to react to that – she’d turned and walked away.
Pushing his concerns about Georgina aside, Michael typed out a quick text. Fancy dancing Friday night? Charity ball here, no pressure to go. Only if you want to. All I want is to spend time with my arms round you. M xx
Her reply was a long while coming, he imagined because she was at work. Can’t wait to have your arms around me, and mine around you. I’ll bring a dress. J xx
Smiling, feeling a lot happier, Michael slipped the phone back in his pocket.
It was Friday morning and though her case was standing by the front door, Jessie was sitting on the sofa with Luke, watching cartoons to distract him. New York wasn’t going to happen. He’d climbed into her bed at 2 a.m., complaining of feeling poorly. After paracetamol and some hugs he’d finally gone back to sleep but as they waited for Phil to arrive, Luke was giving her sad eyes.
‘I feel sick, Mum, and my tummy hurts. Please don’t go away.’
‘Oh, Luke, do you really feel so bad?’ His miserable face tore at her heart. How could she possibly get on a plane and go thousands of miles away with him looking like this?
The doorbell rang and she rose to her feet with a heavy heart and went to greet Phil. ‘Thanks for coming but I’m not going to go. I can’t leave Luke like this.’
Phil frowned over at where Luke sat huddled in the blanket he’d brought down, sullenly watching the television. ‘I suspect he’s just playing up because he doesn’t want you to go.’
It had been her first thought too, before she’d felt his forehead. ‘He’s got a temperature. And he’s complaining of stomach ache.’
Phil shrugged his shoulders. ‘So, he’s a bit under the weather. Probably just wants a day off school. He’ll be fine.’
Jessie bit her lip. ‘What if he isn’t? What if he gets worse? I can’t just dash back from New York.’
‘Jeeze, Jessie, I’ll be here. You’re not abandoning him, you’re leaving him with his dad. I can take today off and stay with him.’ He gave her a long, hard look. ‘You do want to see this fella I take it? You’re not just looking for an excuse not to go?’
‘Absolutely not.’
‘You’re sure? It’s me, Jessie. I’ve known you a long time, remember.’
Emotion reared, settling in the back of her throat and she swallowed hard. ‘I want to see Michael again like you wouldn’t believe. It was only supposed to be a bit of fun, a chance for some excitement. I didn’t plan to fall for him, but I have.’ Shaking her head, she blinked back her tears. ‘I love him, but by God I love my boys, too, and I hate these goodbyes. I’m just not sure I can go through with it when Luke isn’t well. And Jack wasn’t exactly chatty over breakfast.’
Phil smiled in that easy, familiar way of his. ‘Despite what you might believe, the boys don’t fall to pieces when you’re away, pining until you return. They have fun, laugh, drive their dad mad, all the usual stuff. Besides, it doesn’t do them any harm to miss you now and again. Makes them appreciate you more when you’re here.’ He laughed, pointing to himself. ‘I should know. I’m the best father ever now they don’t live with me.’
She smiled, as she knew he wanted her to, but her instincts were telling her this was different. Luke wasn’t putting it on. He was feeling awful and he needed his mum.
But then she thought of Michael. How could she possibly let him down? He’d think it was because she didn’t want to go to the ball with him, which was so wrong because she’d made a promise to herself not to get in a tizzy about it. If Michael wanted to take her to a ball, she was going to put on her best dress, puff out her chest and flipping well revel in the fact that it was she, Jessie Simmons, he wanted to be with.
There was also a worse scenario than him thinking she didn’t want to go to the ball. He might think she didn’t want to see him. It was one thing putting her sons first. Another making Michael feel he would always come second.
As an anguished sob left her, Phil drew her to him, stroking her hair. ‘Hey, come on. Wipe your eyes, call the cab and get on that plane. Luke will be fine, I promise.’
Because they were the words she wanted to hear, Jessie did just that. For seven hours she sat on a metal tube and tried not to remember how Luke’s bottom lip had wobbled as she said goodbye. Tried not to think how selfish she was, putting herself before her child, jetting off to New York while he was sick.
By the time she’d touched down she’d managed to box up her guilt and dismiss her worries.
In the arrivals hall, her eyes scanned the boards held by the chauffeurs. Spotting her name, she followed him outside to a sleek, black limousine, complete with privacy glass.
The boys would love it, she thought with a small pang. Then resolutely turned her mind to what was ahead of her.
Soon she’d be seeing Michael.
Her pulse skipped a beat as the chauffeur opened the back door. Smiling her thanks, she stepped in. And yelped as an arm snaked out to wrap around her waist. Pulled into a tight embrace by a man who smelt and felt suspiciously like someone she knew, she started to laugh.
‘I couldn’t wait to see you,’ Michael breathed huskily, gathering her back towards him and holding her close.
Wrapped in his arms, feeling his heart beating strong and steady, the lingering doubts receded. She was exactly where she wanted to be.
They kissed all the way to the hotel, acting like horny teenagers. She was barely aware of the car stopping, or how she made it to his room.
‘Do you need anything?’ he panted as he briefly raised his head. ‘A drink? Something to eat? Shower?’
She stared into his eyes, awed by the emotion she saw in the beautiful blue depths. This gorgeous, gentle, huge talent of a man, loved her. ‘I’d like all of those,’ she told him softly, running her tongue across his bottom lip. ‘But first I need you.’
With a deep groan he pressed his hips against her. ‘Halle-bloody-lujah.�
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Michael was starting to regret agreeing to go to the damn ball. Lying in bed next to Jessie, her leg wrapped over his, her naked breasts nestled against his chest, he didn’t want to move. After they’d made love he’d watched her as she’d dozed, his heart feeling blissfully full.
Dropping a kiss on her tousled curls, he let out a contented sigh. ‘Here’s an idea. Why don’t we forget the ball and stay in bed? In fact, let’s do that all weekend.’ Even better, for the rest of our lives. The thought bounced round his head and when it didn’t scare the shit out of him he realised she was it. Not just the woman he loved, but the woman he wanted to marry.
Her breath teased his skin as she giggled. ‘Don’t tempt me.’
‘I’m serious.’
‘I can’t tell the boys all I did in New York was stay in bed.’ Her soft lips feathered kisses across his chest. ‘Besides, you promised me a dance.’
‘I did,’ he agreed, his voice sounding hoarse, huskier. ‘But if you carry on doing that we’ll be sticking to my first suggestion.’ With a laugh she sat up, holding the duvet up against her breasts. He tugged it from her hands. ‘No blocking my view.’
She rolled her eyes but he could tell she liked that he wanted to look at her. And boy did he want to look at her. Just as he reached to touch her though, she gasped. ‘What time is it?’
He glanced at the bedside clock. ‘Half four.’
Her brow wrinkled as she worked out the time difference, and her face fell. ‘I’ve missed calling home to talk to the boys. I meant to do it when I was in the car.’
‘I distracted you.’ He tried to smile but it must have looked strained because she immediately put a hand on his face.
‘And I loved the distraction, loved that you came to meet me.’ Her eyes softened, before worry clouded them again. ‘When I left home, Luke wasn’t well. I just wanted to talk to him before he went to bed. Reassure myself he was okay.’
And now he felt like an uncaring jerk for not asking about her kids before dragging her to bed. ‘Hell, Jessie, I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’d have woken you.’
‘I’m sure he’s fine and I’m just being a worrier. I’ll phone Phil and check, if that’s okay.’
Reach for a Star Page 24