by Marie Sexton
He was still thinking about that when Cherie brought our food. “Need anything else, honey?” She didn’t even look at me. He ordered two more beers.
I figured turnabout was fair play. “So how about you? You never felt attracted to another guy?”
His cheeks turned bright red, and the result was beautiful. “No, absolutely not.” But it sounded like a lie to me. It was a little too quick and too harshly stated. In my experience, men who are truly straight don’t have to defend themselves so obstinately.
“It’s okay, you know? It’s okay to admit that you’re sometimes attracted to men. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less of one.”
“No!” Not angry but a little annoyed.
“Okay. Did you play any sports in high school?” That might have sounded like I was letting him off the hook, but I wasn’t through yet.
“I wrestled.”
Perfect! Of course, now I was trying to picture him in one of those tight little leotard things that wrestlers wear.
“And when you were wrestling, rolling around on the floor with another guy, you never started to get turned on?”
“That’s not the same.”
That surprised me, actually. I had been expecting denial. “It isn’t?”
“No. Everybody had that happen from time to time. It didn’t mean anything. We’re all wearing cups, so it’s not like the other guy knows. I just, you know, thought about baseball or something until the problem resolved itself.” He was recovering a little now, getting back to his usual bantering tone.
“Did thinking about baseball players make it go away?” I was grinning then, and I’m sure he knew I was teasing.
“Maybe not, but thinking about having the rest of the team kick my ass generally did the trick.”
“Yes, I suppose it would.”
We finished dinner and headed back to the shop. Despite the awkward topic over dinner, we lapsed easily back into comfortable conversation.
“So why did you become a cop?”
“Seemed like the thing to do. Do my duty. Protect and serve. God and country. All that happy horse shit.”
“God and country? Are you a Marine or something?”
He frowned again. I was really wishing he would smile more. I was betting that his smile would be amazing. “No. My dad was, though. I was supposed to be. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for not enlisting. I joined the ROTC, but that wasn’t really enough for him. Everyone else—my dad, my uncle, my grandpa—they were all military. I don’t think they could ever understand why I didn’t want that life. As far as he’s concerned, it was my duty, and I failed.”
Boy, did that explain a lot! He was looking embarrassed now, and I had the distinct impression he hadn’t really meant to tell me all that. I wasn’t surprised when he suddenly changed the subject.
“You ever gone geo-caching?” he asked.
“Nope. I’ve heard about it, but I don’t have a GPS.”
“I thought I would give it a shot next weekend. Want to join me?”
“Sure.” I was trying to tell myself that this was not a date. Just buddies. And it would be nice to have a buddy, to be honest. Lizzy and Brian were great, but I was still lonely a lot. The idea of having a friend to hang out with was nice. I figured I better take advantage of it before one of the eligible women in town started monopolizing his free time. “That sounds like fun.”
“Great! I’ll pick you up at ten on Saturday.” I was sure Lizzy wouldn’t mind if I took the day off.
I gave him directions to my house and spent the rest of the week counting down the hours, cursing myself for a fool the entire time.
CHAPTER 6
HE ARRIVED at my place at nine fifteen on Saturday. I wasn’t expecting him so early. I hadn’t shaved and was only wearing boxers. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Late night?” he asked jokingly.
“No, not at all. I’m just a bum, and you’re early. Come on in.”
“I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” he asked, glancing toward the bedroom.
I laughed. “God, I wish. The only option for me in this town is Mr. Stevens, the high school band teacher. And he’s thirty years older than me. I’ve never been quite that desperate.”
“Glad to hear that.” He was headed for the kitchen. “Got any coffee or anything?”
“Sure. Help yourself. Just give me a minute to get dressed.”
From the bedroom, I heard the refrigerator open, and then he called out, “Good Lord, don’t you have any food?”
“There’s food in there!”
“I see milk, beer, a brick of cheese, two carry-out containers, and three—no, make that four!—jars of mustard.”
“There you go—milk, beer, and cheese: the three basic food groups,” I told him as I came into the kitchen. “I didn’t say there was a lot of food. I don’t exactly cook.”
“Me neither. Although, I dare say my fridge looks a little better than this.” He closed it and turned to me, rubbing his hands in anticipation. “Let’s stop by the deli and get some sandwiches to take with us. I’m starving already.”
I wasn’t sure our sandwich shop (I couldn’t quite call it a deli) would be open yet, but we could at least hit the grocery store.
“You ready?” he asked.
“All set.”
“Great. We’ll get some food, then, um”—why was he looking so flustered?—“we need to stop by and pick up Cherie on our way out of town.”
I felt like he had just punched me in the stomach. “Cherie?”
He at least had the decency to look miserable. “I know. Here’s the deal: A few nights ago, we got a call for a domestic disturbance. And it turned out to be her house. Her loser ex-husband—what’s his name again?”
“Dan Snyder.”
“Right. He was there. He was so drunk he could hardly stand up. She was crying, and he was screaming, calling her a whore and worse. And it looked like maybe he had hit her, too, but of course she denied it. On domestic calls, we have to take somebody in, so we arrested him. And that got ugly.
“Anyway, she tracked me down the next day. She showed up at my house, for Christ’s sake. Said she wanted to thank me, so would I come to dinner at her place? She didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer. So I got her to agree to come along with us today instead. Seemed a lot safer than going alone to her house.” He sighed and then cocked his eyebrow at me, one corner of his mouth barely twitching up. I was beginning to realize this was what amounted to a smile for him. “Consider yourself our chaperone.”
“So you need me to defend your virtue?” I was trying not to smile.
“Not my virtue so much as my independence.”
“I’m defending your independence?”
He winked at me. “Exactly.”
I had to laugh. “Sweet! I’ve always wanted to be a goddamn freedom fighter. But you’re definitely going to owe me a beer for this one!”
He looked enormously relieved. “I promise.”
Knowing that he wasn’t too interested in seeing her made me feel a little better. It was obvious when we picked her up that Matt hadn’t really clarified that they weren’t going to be alone. She wasn’t any happier to see me than I was to see her. Still, she seemed determined to make the best of it. I got out of the Jeep and started to climb into the back.
“Jared, don’t be silly. With your long legs, you’ll be miserable back there. It’s no problem for me to sit in the back.” I guess chivalry really is dead, because I didn’t argue. She obviously did not consider me a rival for his attention. And why would she? I had to remind myself that I wasn’t. She situated herself in the middle of the back seat so she could easily lean forward between the seats to talk to us, and we set off.
We had the GPS location of the cache. Given that and a hand-held GPS, it seemed like it should be easy to find the spot. But actually, finding a way there turned out to be surprisingly difficult. We had a big book of topographical maps, which would have been gr
eat if they hadn’t been ten years old. We spent several hours roaming the high country, trying to find the trail that would take us to the little box of goodies.
“So, Matt, where did you move here from?” Cherie asked.
“I’ve lived a lot of places. Oklahoma most recently, but I’ve also lived in Texas, Arkansas, and Kansas City.” He looked pointedly at me when he said that last one.
I laughed at him. “That explains it! I was wondering why a boy from Oklahoma would be a Kansas City Chiefs fan! Now that you’re here in Colorado, where we have a real team, you really need to change your tune. I’ll take you to a game, and you can be converted by the Mile High Magic!”
“You Coloradoans are so deluded. You think Mile High is so great? You ever been to Arrowhead? Those people know how to tailgate! Barbecue cooking all day all over the lot. You can smell it for miles. You Broncos fans have a lot to learn!”
“I love barbecue as much as the next man, but it really doesn’t justify cheering for a mediocre team, does it?” I was still laughing, and although his expression was still pretty guarded, I could tell he was having fun.
“Mediocre? We only finished one game behind you last season, and that’s only because our running back was out for half the season. I bet—”
“So—,” Cherie cut in from the back seat. We both jumped a little, and I realized I wasn’t the only one who had forgotten she was there. “You have temporary plates. Is this Jeep new?”
“Yeah, I bought it from Jared.”
“Oh really? Jared, I didn’t think you owned a car.”
I was glad she couldn’t see me roll my eyes. “I own a car. I just prefer riding my bike.” Why did everybody think that was so weird? “Anyway, technically he bought it from Lizzy.”
“It’s great for the trails here, isn’t it?”
“That’s partly why I bought it. Speaking of trails, some of the guys at the station were talking about Culver’s Trail?”
“Never heard of it,” Cherie said.
But he was looking at me. “Culver’s Trail isn’t a four-wheel drive trail,” I told him. “It’s for hiking and biking. It’s one of the easier mountain biking trails around.”
“Really? They said it was pretty tough.”
I grinned at him. “They must be wimps. Hey! Are you planning on buying a mountain bike?” Suddenly the idea of having somebody to ride with had me excited.
“Should I?”
“Absolutely!”
We finally found the spot. We dug up the metal box and opened it up. In addition to the log book, it had an assortment of random items inside: a green plastic army man, a playing card, a ten sided die. We hadn’t thought to bring anything with us to add, so we settled for writing our names in the log book and then headed back to the Jeep. “Shotgun!” Cherie called. She looked a little embarrassed about having said it, but I understood.
“That’s only fair, since you had the back seat on the way up.” But it didn’t work. Matt was still talking to me more than to her. Back in town, she gave it one more try. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a drink?”
“Thanks, Cherie, but Jared’s sister-in-law is expecting us at her house for dinner.” I was surprised at the lie but tried to nod convincingly. “Have a great night.”
He seemed to be happy that she was gone.
“Great!” he said happily. “Let’s go get that beer I owe you!”
“Matt, you do realize that this is a pretty small town. Anywhere we go, there’s a chance she’ll see us and know you lied.”
“Oh.” All the wind had gone out of his sails now. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
The idea of spending another hour or two together definitely sounded better than going back to my empty house, and I was pleasantly surprised that he seemed to feel the same way. “We actually could go to Lizzy’s. It’s Saturday. She’s probably halfway expecting me to show up.”
Brian wasn’t home, but Lizzy was. And, as I had predicted, she wasn’t surprised to see me. She did, however, raise her eyebrows at Matt. He excused himself to find the bathroom, and she immediately turned on me.
“On a date?” She narrowed her blue eyes at me.
“It’s not a date!”
“It looks like a date.”
“It’s not.”
“He sure seems to be spending a lot of time with you.”
“He’s new in town. He doesn’t know anybody. That’s all.”
“Jarhead,” she said in exasperation, “if you think that man doesn’t have other options, even in this town, then you must be blind. He chose you.”
I knew she was right. Hadn’t I just seen him lie to Cherie so that he could spend the evening with me? And she wasn’t the only single woman in town by any means. She might have been the only one who had gone to the trouble to track him down at his house, but that only meant she was the most aggressive of the lot. But he was adamant about being straight, so where did that leave us? I could feel myself blushing as I thought about it.
“What are you two talking about?” Matt asked as he strode back into the room. “Looks like you’re embarrassing Jared.”
“Hair,” Lizzy said, without missing a beat. “Can you believe that mess he has on his head? I keep telling him to get it cut!”
Matt frowned at me and inspected the dirty mop on my head. I tried not to flinch under his scrutiny. I suddenly had great pity for the monkeys at the zoo.
Then he turned to Cherie, eyebrow up, a ghost of a grin on his face, and said, “I like it.” And that’s when I knew I was a complete fool, because my heart swelled up and threatened to burst through my chest, and I knew I was turning tomato red. Matt had already turned and vanished into the kitchen.
“I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling,” Lizzy hissed at me across the room, “but this is definitely a date!”
CHAPTER 7
HE DROPPED by the shop several times after that, always right at closing time, and we went out for dinner. I was surprised that he seemed to be seeking me out, but I was thrilled at the same time. He was easy to talk to.
Lizzy invited him to her house for a Memorial Day barbecue. He seemed happy to be included, but two days before it was supposed to take place he came into the shop to cancel.
“Lizzy, you’re going to have to give me a rain check on dinner. My parents decided to drop in for a visit this week.”
“No problem,” she said, without even looking up from her inventory list. “Bring them along!”
He looked a little startled by that but said firmly, “No, I couldn’t do that.”
Now she looked up. “Why not?”
“I couldn’t intrude like that.”
“Don’t be silly. The more the merrier!”
“Ummm.” He suddenly looked terribly uncomfortable. “I appreciate that Lizzy, but it’s really a bad idea. You’ll end up regretting it. Trust me.”
“My goodness, are they that bad?” she said jokingly, raising her eyebrows at him.
But he didn’t seem to be joking at all when he answered her. “Yeah. They really are. You know that nasty uncle in all the movies who ruins every holiday? That’s my dad. No kidding.”
She looked at him for a minute, tapping her finger on her lip, like she was trying to decide how serious he was. And then she got that determined look on her face, and I wanted to tell him he might as well give up now, because Lizzy would get what she wanted. “Matt, you’ve never met my parents. They’re insane. I’m talking certifiable wack-a-doo. Jared?” She turned to me. “Tell Matt. My parents are totally fucking loony.”
“Well—”
She was already talking to Matt again. “Seriously. Your parents can’t possibly be any worse than mine.”
“I don’t know—”
“Great! Then we’ll see you at five thirty!” She looked back down at her inventory list as if the topic was closed.
Matt looked a little baffled, like he wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. “Oh. Okay. Well, thanks, Liz
zy.” He cocked his eyebrow at her, although she was still looking down, so only I saw it. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He turned and walked to the door but then turned at the last minute. “Lizzy, my dad drinks a lot.” It sounded like a warning.
“No problem.”
THEY arrived right on time. Matt’s mom, Lucy, was about five-four, big boned but skinny, with hair that was somewhere in the transition from brown to gray. Her green eyes looked sad and nervous, and her fingers never held still. She fidgeted with her necklace, her earrings, and her hair constantly.
His dad, Joseph, was big. He was as tall as Matt with the same dark hair and military cut. He had obviously once had the same athletic physique as well, but now had a tiny bit of a beer belly and the red, bulbous nose of a hardcore drinker.
They brought a bottle of wine with them, all wrapped up in a pretty foil bag with a bow. As soon as Lucy handed it to Lizzy, Joseph said, “I’ll take a glass of that now, if you would.”
Matt and I followed Lizzy into the kitchen. Matt was definitely not himself. I had never seen him act so nervous and unsure of himself. His parents were obviously a bomb, and he was just waiting for them to go off.
“We’ll definitely have enough to drink,” Lizzy said cheerfully, as she opened the wine. “I bought three bottles of wine, two red, one white, and a case of beer. And there’s plenty of hard stuff in the cabinet, too, if he wants something stronger.” She pointed to the liquor cabinet, before taking the open wine and several glasses, and headed back into the living room.
I started to follow her, but suddenly Matt grabbed my arm. When I looked up, I was surprised to see something like terror on his face. “Why did she buy all that alcohol?”
“You said your dad likes to drink.”
“Oh no,” he groaned, and covered his face with his hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“I meant that she shouldn’t have alcohol. It was supposed to be a warning. Oh my God, I’m such an idiot. I should have been more clear. Shit! This is bad, Jared. He’s a jerk when he’s sober. He’s an angry, belligerent, antagonistic asshole when he’s not.”