by Jillian Dodd
You know damn well I’m not gay. So what if when you are tutoring me in french, and you decide you wanna do it with me. What would you say?
That’s not gonna happen.
Yeah, it is, eventually. We’ll be dating by then, but trust me, it’s gonna happen. And when you say it to me in French, I wanna make sure I know what you’re saying. You know, when you start begging me.
Annie grabs the note. Aiden!!!! OMG!!! But uh, what would you say?
I reply. Baise moi. (Fuck me.) But if you wanted to ask someone in a nicer way, Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. (Do you want to sleep with me tonight?)
So tutoring tonight, my room, 4 o’clock.
So tutoring tonight, library, 4:00.
I have a new nickname for you, Boots, it’s B-Moi. People will think it’s Boots and French combined. But you know what it means.
Yes, I do know what it means. You are delusional and forgot to take your meds today. (But I love you.)
It’s sorta like fate
2:55
Looking out at the bleachers filled with students, praying I do well. I would pray that I don’t trip, or fall down, don’t forget a kick, or miss a step, but Mom read some child rearing book recently and says we aren’t allowed to say don’t or can’t anymore. They say when you tell someone don’t fall down, that’s what they focus on, and that’s what they do. So I’m telling myself, do the routine perfectly, kick as high as you can, have a smile on your face, don’t panic, um, I mean, be calm.
Okay, it’s time!!!!
I run out there, smile big and the audience becomes a blur AND I DID IT!!! I did the dance routine perfectly, well not completely perfectly, I was a little late on one kick, but that was because for a second I was blinded by Aiden’s smile.
We jump around with the cheerleaders. Coach, Brad and Dawson walk out to huge cheers. While Brad is speaking, Dawson looks over and winks at me.
Afterwards, I meet Aiden in the Library.
Annie texts me, and so does Brad.
Brad: Your ideas rock. I’ll go with you to talk to the dean about it. This weekend?
Me: Gonna be out of town. Monday, maybe? Also, you’re speech was awesome. Very motivational.
Brad: :) thanks, your dance was awesome. A lot of the girls messed up. You didn’t.
Me: I was slow on one kick, but I don’t think anyone noticed. Kick ass tonight!!
Annie: We have a sign done. Want you to see it. Where are you?
Me: Library tutoring Aiden.
Annie: Oh la la. Be right there. (Annie so knows….)
Aiden says, “What’s up, B-Moi?”
“You know it almost sounds like you’re saying be mine.”
“I sorta am, aren’t I? Well, in a more intimate way.” (I love their banter.)
“Okay, so when we travel to France someday, I’m thrilled that you’ll be able to cuss and get laid, but we need to focus on your vocab words for this week.”
“You want to go to France with me, huh?” (OMG, you guys. This scene! This scene sets so much in motion for later books. Sort of like fate. Top of the Eiffel Tower, Sunset. Him asking her to winter formal. I also love how the library becomes a special place to them.)
“What?”
“You said when we travel to France someday.”
“I, uh, you know what I meant.”
“Yeah, I do.” He gives me a blazing smile. Like full wattage, bigger than I have yet to see. It like radiates up to the top of his blonde spikes. “We’re gonna go to France together. Maybe I’ll ask you to marry me there. Top of the Eiffel Tower, sunset?”
“I don’t even like you, why would you ask me to marry you?”
“You love me.”
I laugh out loud.
I get a couple shushes from the people sitting near us.
“Come on, Boots, you know I’m right.”
“I know nothing of the sort. And you really need to focus, or you will not be passing french, and I’m not the kind of girl that likes to fail.”
“And I’m not the kind of boy who will take no for an answer.”
I blow out a big breath of air, blow my bangs up off my face and just start french. “Okay, so chicken is what?”
“Poulet.”
“Good. How bout bread?”
“Pain.”
“Right but say it like this....pain. It’s more like pan, but the n is more nasal sounding.”
“Pain. You’re going to be a pain in the ass, I can tell.”
“Hey, I’m helping you here.”
“How do you know I’m not purposely failing, so you will tutor me?”
“Because last year you almost failed, and you didn’t know I existed.”
He ponders that for a minute. “Naw. I’m good at every class. Straight A’s, All AP classes. How do you say, fate in french?”
“Sort”
“Yeah, exactly. It’s sorta like fate.” (When writing this scene, I had no idea what the French word for fate was. When I did Google translate for it, up popped the word sort—which felt a little like fate to me. It’s always amazing to me how when you get into writing the story, things like this that you didn’t plan pop up and become such an integral part of the series.)
“Don’t you need to be getting to football, you know, so you can sit on the bench?”
“Silly, Boots. You’re looking at the starting varsity kicker, as of tonight’s game.”
“Oh. Well, congrats.”
“You’re going to be cheering for me.”
“I’m going to be dancing.”
“For me.”
“For the team, silly.”
“We need to dance again. Under my lights.”
“Say it in french.”
“Uh, danse avec moi, um, under lumieres, um tonight, um, I mean, noir?”
“Close enough. Good.”
“So is that a yes?”
“Non, I have that dance sleepover.”
“Merde.”
“See you’re learning. And you’re gonna to be late. Go.”
He looks at the clock, says, “MERDE,” again and then stops and looks at me.
“Good luck, Aiden.” I say.
But I don’t say, I love you, I adore you, my heart flip flops every time you look at me, I hold my breath watching you breathe, you even blink sexily. (Why not? Although this line got cut.)
Naw, I don’t say that.
Annie runs up to my table, “What do you think??!!” She’s very excited.
“Oh my gosh! That looks fantastic!! I love how you did the Roar part coming out of a megaphone with the cougar sticker on it. Adorable. I feel really bad if you do all this work, while I’m in New York.
“Yeah, and what’s up with New York anyways? When did you decide to go there, and why am I not invited? We could shop, shop, shop!”
“Well, I asked Dawson to go with me. He offered for us to stay at his parent’s apartment, but, well, my step dad has a loft, and we’re gonna stay there. And I’m supposed to look at some homecoming dresses my mom put on hold for me.”
“You’re totally going to do it with him, aren’t you?”
“Do you think I should? I mean, don’t you think it’s too soon?”
“Hmmm, what has it been? Two weeks?”
“Well yeah, since school started pretty much. But don’t you think I should be going out with him first?”
“Well you would be going out, if you would just tell him yes.”
“He hasn’t really asked me yet, not like seriously. I want him to ask seriously.”
“I bet he does this weekend. And then if he does, I totally think you should. At least when you do it will be romantic, you won’t be in a stupid dorm room.”
“Dorm rooms can be fun.”
“Yeah, Ace keeps trying to get me come to his.”
“Go. Just because you are in his room, doesn’t mean you have to do anything. I was just in Aiden’s room last night and nothing happened.”
“Well, I’m hoping to
kiss him this weekend.”
“He has nice lips and awesome arms, I think kissing Ace would be fun.”
“You want to kiss him?”
“No! Like I think you will enjoy it.”
“Yeah, probably. I hope so. What if he doesn’t try and kiss me?”
“Kiss him?”
“Maybe.”
“So wait. You want to wait for true love, don’t you think I should wait until I’m in love with Dawson.”
“You seem like you’re in love with him. Although you still sort of obsess over Aiden. But it seems like he’s always mad at you.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. If I was dating someone as hot as Dawson, I don’t know if I could say no. Even if I didn’t think it was love.” (And Annie proves that statement later when she loses her virginity to Jake!)
Party, celebrate, hookup.
10 pm
Go to the game, we win. I danced well, Dawson played really well. I meet him outside the locker room after, to at least give him a kiss before I go to the dance thing.
He throws one arm around me, pulls me close, while we’re walking toward his dorm with Ace, Brad and Bryce. “So what are you guys gonna do tonight without us girls around?”
“Oh, there’s gonna be plenty of girls around,” Brad tells me.
“We’re gonna party, celebrate, hookup,” Bryce yells. Bryce met Maggie at lunch, he thought she was really pretty, but there wasn’t some big love connection.
“Amen, brother,” Ace adds.
I look at Dawson, he’s grinning too, like that’s exactly what he’s planning on doing.
And that makes me a little mad. I walk faster, making his arm fall off my shoulder. “Well, y’all have fun. See ya later.”
Then I walk fast toward my dorm, not looking back. Actually I’m not walking fast. I’m marching. I probably look like Gracie does, when she screams, NO! and marches away from you, clutching whatever she doesn’t want to give you back. Usually your phone.
Here I am, thinking about spending the weekend with him, and he’s thinking about hooking up with other girls.
I guess what can I expect?
Lesson learned. Don’t sleep with someone until you are at least in a relationship, otherwise you don’t know where you stand.
And it sucks!!!!
From behind me I hear Dawson, “Keatie. Why did you just leave like that?”
“Oh, I have to get to the sleepover, and you have to get to your celebrating and hooking up.” I may have said this is in a slightly sarcastic tone.
“Yeah, I actually want to talk to you about that.”
Great. See, I was right. He didn’t want me to kiss Dallas last night, but it’s okay for him. Damn. I totally should have made out with Dallas.
“Go ahead,” I say, “Talk.”
This should be good. No wait. I’m not doing this. I’m not gonna be disappointed. I’ll let him out easy. I want to stay friends with him.
But then I look at him standing there, dark and gorgeous in front of me, and I can’t do it. I don’t want to be just friends with him. I want more.
He pulls me into his arms. I want to resist, but I can’t. He kisses me. I kiss him back. And it’s a really good kiss. Why would he want to kiss anyone else?
“Mhmmm. I love kissing you. Keatie?”
“Yeah, just say it, Dawes. Get it over with.” I roll my eyes at him.
“Get it over with? I thought girls like this shit. They want it to be all romantic and stuff?”
“Telling me your gonna hook up with another girl tonight is not romantic.”
He kisses my nose, “I don’t wanna hook up with anyone but you, Keatie. Go out with me. Be my girlfriend.” Then he takes off his class ring and holds it up to me.
I squint my eyes at him. This was not what I was expecting.
Dawson hangs his head a little. “I thought you would be excited.”
“I am! I’m sorry. I really thought you were going to tell me you were going to hook up with other girls tonight. I wasn’t expecting this.”
“So?”
I throw my arms around him. “Yes. I would love to be your girlfriend.” And seal it with a kiss, or two, or twelve.
(There’s a KEY difference between this and the published version. Get it? Key? I changed it to him giving her the “Key to his Heart” but then she won’t take it, and he wears it instead. He also gives it to her after they have visited his dorm room for a little fun.)
“Get what over with?”
“Telling me you’re gonna hook up with other girls tonight.”
He kisses my cheek. “I don’t wanna hook up with anyone but you. I wanted to tell you that I’m going to miss you. I know you think we’re not ready to be in a relationship, but I’m not interested in anyone else.”
“Really?” I smile. It’s hard not to smile about that. “That makes me happy.”
“I want to make you happy. So, um, any chance you can sneak away tonight?”
“Probably not.”
“Then come to my dorm room real quick,” he says with a grin. “I have something I want to give you.”
“Dawson,” I say, assuming what he wants to give me is currently residing in his pants. “I have to go.”
He takes my face in his hands. “Please.”
“Okay, but we have to hurry.”
We run to his room. I’m slightly out of breath when he pushes me against the door and gives me a deep kiss. My body immediately heats up.
I press my fingers into his sides guiding his hips closer to mine.
“Mhmmm, Keatie, you’re going to have to stop that or I’m going to forget why I brought you here.”
I press my lips into his neck and suck on the spot near his ear that seems to drive him wild. “I thought this was exactly why you brought me here.”
He playfully makes a big gesture of pushing me off him. “There is a little present for you somewhere in this room. It’s your job to find it.” He walks over and lies back on his bed. “Better start looking.”
“Do I get any hints as to what I’m looking for?”
“How bout I tell you if you’re warm or cold?”
“Or hot?” I say, my eyes smoldering, taking in the sexy way he’s lying across his bed. He’s freshly showered, wearing red Cougar athletic shorts and a white XXL Cougar T-shirt with the sleeves and most of the sides cut out. I can see glimpses of his buff chest and abs. He’s got his elbow bent and is leaning on his arm, which causes his bicep to flex.
“You’re already hot,” he says. “I have a hard time focusing on the game when you’re dancing. I have this little fantasy where I get to strip that gold glitter thong off your sexy little ass and do you right there on the field.”
“Dawson!” I shrill, then giggle. “What am I looking for again?”
“Small wrapped package.”
I open his closet and peek inside at a jumbled mess of clothes. I could so never marry a man that had a messy closet. I’m just saying.
“You’re cold,” he says huskily.
I close the door and walk closer to his bed and examine his chest of drawers.
“You’re getting warmer.”
I open his top drawer. He keeps condoms there, underneath his boxers. I eye an unopened box of them. I grab the box and hold them up. “Is this it?”
He laughs. “Nope.”
I shut the drawer, look in the rest and move to his desk.
“You’re getting even warmer.”
I look around his desk, in his drawers, don’t find anything, so I walk over to his bed.
“Oh, yeah, now you’re getting very warm.”
“I am.” I smile at him then strip off my shirt to reveal the leopard bra he’s been dying to see.
“Aw, damn, Keatie.” He hops off the bed quickly and stands in front of me staring at the bra. Then his eyes follow his hands as they move slowly across it. He’s touching the bra almost reverently. Like it’s a trophy.
His hands ca
ress their way down my sides and grip my waist. I reach through the open sides of his shirt, run my hands up his back, then pull his shirt off. He undoes my bra, letting it fall to the floor. I let him kiss my chest for a few minutes. His shirt is still in my hand, so I pull it over my head, putting it on.
He stands back admiring me in the shirt he just had on. “That may be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen you in.”
Then he grabs me, throws me on the bed, and strips off our shorts.
“I am so late,” I say as I’m getting dressed. “I’m going to have to pretend I got sick or something.”
“You got something alright,” he says with a satisfied grin.
I laugh. “Were you my present?”
“Shit, no. I almost forgot.” He grabs his shorts off the floor, pulls a small wrapped box out of his pocket, and sets it in my hand. “Open it.”
I untie the distinctive robin’s egg blue ribbon, open the box, and pull out a little blue pouch. I turn the pouch upside down and out drops a necklace. A Tiffany key necklace. My mom went a little crazy with the key necklaces for me when they came out, but I don’t have one like this.
“It’s really pretty.”
He takes it out of my hand and says, “Let me put it on you.”
I hold my hair up while he fastens it around my neck.
He leans in and whispers in my ear, “I know we’re supposed to be taking it slow. I know you don’t want to be in a relationship until we’re sure, but I wanted to give you this.” He runs kisses across my face and when he gets to my lips, he murmurs, “It’s the key to my heart.”
Awww. Ohmigawd, that’s so adorable.
But no.
No. No. No.
I unfasten it and take it off.
“Dawson, I can’t accept this.”
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
“You think I’m still in love with Whitney.”
“I think you’re not ready to be giving away your heart.”
“Fine then,” he says, while fastening it around his own neck. “I’m wearing it. I want you to see it every day. When you’re ready, you take it back.”