by Jillian Dodd
“Gonna be kind of hard to forget you considering I’ll be with you. Our ten year plan includes college, marriage, and at least a couple of those four kids we’re destined to have.”
When he wakes me up at three in the morning to show me the first snowfall.
Telling me I need to come to his room and wish him luck, but then he tells me it’s an excuse to kiss me.
When he says, “I think what you need is a good screwing.” Then puts my hand on his zipper, because he has golden screw earrings in a box in his pants.
The Titan.
“Every kiss. Every touch. Every single thing we do feels a hundred times better than anything I've ever done before. Because it's with you.”
The kitchen counter and his fingers.
He hung the glow-in-the-dark moon above my bed at the loft.
He cooks for me.
“Naked and wearing cowboy boots. That is straight out of my dreams.”
He bought me a Christmas tree and ornaments that all had meaning to us.
“This is our tree. The story of us.”
“That you watch sunsets with me. That I even had the guts to tell you why they were special. I’ve never shared those parts of me with anyone. No one at school even knows my mom had cancer.”
“Fine. I’ll tell you. These are all about luck and fate. It was fate you kicked the soccer ball at my head and made me instantly fall for you. It’s fate that I’ll ask you to marry me someday. But it was luck that I found a four-leaf clover to give you, and every time we’ve given each other a clover, it’s helped us both be lucky. And it was luck that we got to see the dolphins. You’ve made me lucky.”
He bought us tickets to see The Nutcracker.
The pool table. All of it. The white t-shirt, designer motorcycle jacket, aviators, and scruff.
Strip pool.
“Panties. I win.” Then him ripping them off me.
“You can have anything of mine you want.”
“You and me against the world. Always.”
“That's what people are going to fall in love with. That smile. It's, well, the only word that really accurately describes it is intoxicating. Everyone in the theater will instantly be love-drunk.”
The sight of him making breakfast in my kitchen with a shirt that’s too tight and sweats that are way too low on his hips for me to think straight.
“I want to spend New Year’s with you. Wherever you are.”
This text: ifly<3
“You kissed my neck and told me it was your favorite place. The rest of my body is jealous.”
These texts: Me either, but I know once we do, we won't want to stop. I've wanted you since the first day I saw you. I seriously had never seen someone so beautifully perfect until that moment.
This text: What you should be prepared for is the fact that you're never going to want to be with anyone else ever again.
This text: In six and a half minutes, I'm going to kiss the hell out of you. Just saying.
He comes to the chapel when I say I need him after I found out about the girl from the club. He presses his lips into my temple and whispers, “It’s okay, baby. Shhh. I'm here. It’s okay.”
When he pulls up his shirt and has a sticky note stuck to his stomach with a down arrow that says Kiss Me Here.
His panty melting smirk when I accidentally mention the Titan.
This text: Tonight is a big game, but I have to admit, my thoughts are on you wearing candy. Did I mention I have a sweet tooth? And tongue.
My parts touching his parts.
He bought me the Clash of the Titans movies.
“When you kissed me, I was done for. Ever since that first kiss on the Ferris wheel. Totally and completely your love slave.”
When he tells me it’s okay with him for me to dance on the bar.
“I definitely want to.”
A classic Gucci tuxedo.
The husky, desire-filled sound in his voice.
The way he smells.
The way he looks.
Around us, other people are dancing, but it feels like the room, the dance floor, the whole night, was made just for us.
When he gives me a feather and tells me he was my naughty Santa.
“That’s why I fucking love you, Keatyn Monroe.”
The way he brushes a tear from my cheek and says, “Life hasn't been following your scripts. You told me that once.”
“No, I would have said, Baby, I already knew."
“Because I wanted to be the kind of guy you could trust. It’s why I backed off. Why I told Riley about Dawson. I didn't want to see you hurt anymore. It's why I've told you so many times that you can tell me anything. That you could trust me. What I didn’t realize before was that I needed to earn that trust. We had to build a strong foundation. I’m really glad you were planning to tell me tonight.”
“There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me hate you. You need to have faith in us. We’re going to survive the kiln.”
“The heartbreaking part is never going to happen, Boots.”
When I tell him nothing about us has ever followed a script and he tells me he doesn’t want it to.
“I wished that someday you’d trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
“Boots, pretty much everything you've ever said to me is permanently ingrained in my mind. It’s all the story of us.”
“I need to teach you how to live life unscripted, because we’re going to be better than anything you ever imagined.”
After reading my lie list, he smirks and says, “So, you did recognize me as the goalie that day in the cafeteria, huh?”
“I’m gonna go hop in the shower. Care to join me?”
“I’ve just recently learned the extent of all of that. And you’re welcome, sir. She means a lot to me.” (What he said when he met Tommy.)
His ability to morph into any role. Deal with any social situation. Get along with anyone. He can be the sexy bad boy one minute and the sweetest boy ever the next.
The way he bends over the pool table and slowly, purposefully licks his lips while I’m trying to concentrate.
How he won’t sleep with me unless the door is open because he doesn’t want to offend Tommy. But then pins me on my chaise and tells me that the closet door can stay shut.
“You don’t need beauty sleep. You’re already beautiful.”
“No way I’m letting you be alone on Christmas. Either you’re coming to St. Croix with me, or I’m staying here with you.”
Coming home to find him wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a candy necklace.
His toast: “Here’s to a sweet night.”
When he tells me not to move my hands from the doorway then drops to his knees and counts how many pieces of candy are in his way to the “Sweet spot.”
The way he looks when I say I love you. The surprise in his eyes. The emotions crossing his face. His lips forming a smile. His big hands holding my cheeks firmly in place as he looks into my eyes.
“I love you too, Boots.”
When he tells Grandpa he’s a big fan of the boots Grandpa sent me and that they are lucky.
How he used one of Grandpa’s lines on me. “You’re right, as usual.”
When he shows off for my little sisters by walking on his hands. And then how he tells me he loves me in the grass after we all were tickling him.
How everything with him means so much more.
How when he takes my hand, it feels like it belongs in his forever.
How he has a piece of hay in his mouth, a grin on his face, and cowboy boots on his feet. How he reminds me of my dad. Perfect blond hair, amazing eyes, a beautiful wide smile, and an easy-going demeanor.
How adorable he is with my sisters.
When he takes my chin in his hand and looks deep into my eyes and says, “Player Aiden never talked about things like love, fate, or marriage. Just like the stars, all that is only for you. Want to know my favorite part of the song? It’s the world can spi
n around us because, baby, now it’s you and me.” When I ask him why, he says, “Because that’s what I want more than anything. To only have to worry about us.”
“So can I woo you with my wood?”
How he put twinkle lights in the gazebo so we could dance.
“You just said I do. In a wedding gazebo. It gave me a glimpse of the future. Of our wedding.”
A beautiful vintage ring with a green stone, surrounded by teeny diamonds. Radiating out from it are four silver filigree hearts forming a four-leaf clover, each leaf set with a marquis-shaped green stone. Around the edges of the hearts are more of the little diamonds and behind the clover is more silver, making it look like two clovers sitting on top of each other.
“This isn’t your Christmas present. It’s a ring from me to you. I love you, Keatyn. I know the future scares you. I know that you can’t commit to anything, so I’m not asking you to. I just want you to always know, wherever you are, wherever we are, that I love you. And I want you to carry our luck with you.”
When he tells me there doesn’t have to be music for us to dance.
Our first time. Holy shit.
“Take me back to your room, Boots. I’m so not even close to being done with you tonight.”
A night of kissing, hotness, positions, amazingness, sexiness, and love. All hot, sweet, and unbelievably, perfectly unscripted. I never knew sex could be so utterly, breathtakingly beautiful.
How his love for me shines through his every action.
How every time I think my sexual credit card is maxed out, he touches me and I'm ready to go shopping again.
When he dangles the mistletoe in front of his pants.
“Never. Ever. Will he be tired of you.”
How I have a raw, uncontrollable need. For him.
“And, so you know, I don’t just believe in luck. I believe in our luck. We’re lucky together.”
How he dazzles Gracie with his smile and stops her tantrum.
“I want you forever, but I understand now why forever scares you. It’s your situation, not me.”
“Follow your heart, baby. That’s all I ask.”
“Of course, I know. We fit together perfectly. And not just when we’re dancing. In every single way. I told you: BK. Before Keatyn. You’ve ruined me.”
A quickie in my dressing room.
His face close to mine as he slowly starts counting down from ten, making it feel like the party has disappeared and there is only us. Redoing the New Year’s Eve countdown.
A kiss on the top of my head to calm me down.
An offer to make breakfast.
“You don’t have to give me the pout. I’ll make bacon.”
Waking up with kisses sprinkled across my shoulder.
Kissing his clover tattoo, then mine, and wishing me luck before the takeover call.
A reality check I needed: “That's because you're trying to live a pretend life. There's no joy in it.”
How he brought the book of Keats poetry from the loft to the hotel.
When he puts me in the tub, orders dessert and tells me I should start with him.
“Morning, beautiful.”
How he drags a hand through his messy hair, blinks beautiful green eyes, and then rubs at the scruff on his face. It’s something most people do when they wake up, but no one else looks like him doing it. It’s the epitome of sexy.
“Do you have any idea how you’ve changed my life? What you mean to me?” He looks teary. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Shhh, baby,” he says, smoothing down the back of my hair. “Tell me what happened.”
He crashed his car into Vincent’s van to save me.
“I couldn’t risk losing you.”
When he has Dallas get his keychain for me. “Luck and fate. Take them with you, find him, and then come back to me.”
When he shows up at my door in Malibu.
How he’s so cool when he meets Brooklyn. I think maybe they could be friends.
How he asked me to dance before I told him he was my green flash.
“What it might mean for us? Boots, we survived this. I think we can survive a few days apart. I’ll come to the loft every weekend. You need to follow your dreams.” When I said wherever they take me, he said, “Wherever they take us.”
An amazing birthday.
A beautiful dress.
A surprise dinner with my family.
A Ferris wheel ride.
On the night of my first walk down the red carpet. This note: I thought on the night of your dreams, you should wear the dress of your dreams. Hope this is close. Happy Birthday.
And the dress. OMG! The dress.
A black Gucci tuxedo and a pair of Aviators perched on the top of his head. Looking like sex on a stick.
He had the heel of my shoe from when Vincent tried to kidnap me fixed and said, “Seems like the perfect night to wear the shoes that are the real you.”
“You look beautiful tonight.”
Being my arm candy.
“Wherever you go, I go.”
The huge smile plastered on his face when I told him I was going to spend my senior year at Eastbrooke with him.
The way he greets everyone at my birthday party.
How he graciously bows out when B asks to cut in to dance with me.
Attacking me on the furry rug in my closet. Surrounded by all my clothes.
“We’re building our love mansion right here. In this very spot.”
And more than 10 years later . . . Top of the Eiffel Tower, sunset.
“You and I are like a promise. A wish. Proof that fate and luck bring people together. Proof of love at first sight. Proof that true love can survive the kiln. I promise you a life that’s better than anything you’ve ever scripted. So, what do you say, Boots? Wanna get hitched?”
A ring that looks like a sunset. With one little green emerald.
“You’re my green flash too. Always. Only. Ever yours.”
“Are you really pregnant?”
The same shocked look on his face as when I kicked the soccer ball past him. A smile that starts to form, the corners of his mouth turning upward. Which turns into the full-wattage powerful godlike smile that still makes me swoon.
I have to take a moment to talk about Keatyn’s letter to Aiden. Oh my gosh. I bawled while I wrote this. For me, this was just so heartbreaking. Keatyn loves Aiden so much, and she truly believes that she won’t survive her showdown with Vincent. And it was so wonderful at the end to be able to have her take Aiden to that spot herself and give him the letter. Although Aiden thought Keatyn chose him after she rescued Brooklyn, she had chosen him way before that.
My dearest Aiden—
If you’re reading this, then by now you know the truth about me and that I didn’t survive the showdown with my stalker. But I want to live on. Here. With you. My hope is that this land will allow you to live out your dream of creating a wine label that will make millions for charity.
It’s not that I didn’t think you could buy it for yourself someday, I just wanted to make sure you followed your dreams. I didn’t want anyone—your friends, your parents, whoever—to say that it didn’t make sense financially. That you were too young. Whatever.
And it’s my sincerest hope that you’ll find someone to love and share all this with. Someone who you will watch a million sunsets with. Here. In this spot.
Because even though I didn’t always tell you, you’ve had my heart since the day I met you. Your lips were always my bliss. And I know we weren’t sorta like fate. We were exactly like fate.
Always. Only, ever yours,
Boots
THE LIE LIST
After writing Hate Me, I went back through all the books to find the lies that Keatyn told and who she told them to. I was actually really surprised by how few times she lied. You’ll also notice that Aiden’s name is listed by the large majority of them. (Because he asked so many freaking questions!)
Since you know Aiden had
known who she was for quite some time, it’s easy to understand why he purposefully did ask more questions. He really wanted Keatyn to tell him the truth.
I also loved that in Get Me you found out that his wish in Adore Me was that she would trust him enough to tell him the truth.
I’m Keatyn Monroe. (Everyone at Eastbrooke) —I never used to want to be Keatyn Douglas. The name seemed to carry so much weight. So many expectations for what or who I should be. If I’m lucky enough to get to be her again, I will be proud of my name.
I didn’t recognize you as the goalie. (Aiden) —I did. I so did. You don’t forget eyes like that. Ever. Ever. Ever.
B’s name is Bradley. (Riley) —It’s Brooklyn.
My parents moved to France. (Everyone at Eastbrooke) —They were in Vancouver at the time, although we do have a house there.
I left my Mercedes at home because of the snow. (Dawson) —Garrett wouldn’t let me bring it.
I got in trouble at home. (Annie) —This made me sad to say. I never got in trouble because I never lied to my Mom or Tommy about what I was doing. We had a very open relationship, and I could talk to them about anything. I miss them so much.
My parents deleted my social media. (Riley) (Annie) —They would never, ever do that!!
When I synced my new phone, it deleted all my photos. (Annie) —I would have died if that happened in real life. Like, probably, literally died.
No one has ever said I remind them of Abby Johnston. (Annie)(Riley’s mom) —People say our smile, voice, and gestures are exactly the same.
My friend was stalked. (Aiden) —It was me.
We sold our house in California. (Dawson) —We didn’t sell the Malibu house and hopefully never will.
I’m a Rockette and my name is Maggie. (Allan the driver) —Um, I’m clearly not.
My Mom’s ex-boyfriend was stalking me. (Riley) (Dallas) (Senator McMahon and assorted Secret Service) —My mom never would’ve dated someone creepy like Vincent. Clearly, I am not as smart as my mother. Because I thought he was sexy and I liked the attention. Like, until the whole attempted kidnapping thing.