by Robin Roseau
She grew quiet.
"You went easy on me, didn't you?"
"Maybe a little."
"Then you will give me a bigger handicap and not go easy."
"I will have to offer a second handicap that applies only when you are prey, and it will be small, or the games will never end."
"So you'll always win in the end?"
"No. It was very hard for me to turn the tables, but once they were turned, the rest was not hard, and I could relax. You could win, eventually, and I will have to play very hard."
"All right. Do you understand the concept?"
"I do. So if I were playing strategically, I should let you win a game."
"You shouldn't make it look like you let me win. You should make the rules so I believe I won in spite of you trying your best to beat me. But then you are stuck with the rules."
We were quiet for a few minutes after that. "You're telling me how to manipulate you."
"I'm telling you how to help make me happy. Moirai, we are playing a bigger game, aren't we. We're playing the woo Sapphire game. It is one big game that lasts five months, and at the end, we see who has won. There are three choices."
"There are only two."
"There are three. In the first, the one you wish, you make me so happy that I want nothing but to be with you, wherever you are. I beg to be your mate."
"That is the ending to this game that will happen."
"In the second, you are unable to do this, and I go home. You are miserable."
She didn't respond to that.
"In the third, I go home, and we are both miserable for it."
"Why would you go home to be miserable?"
"Perhaps I fall in love with you, but we fight. Or I cannot stand being away from Earth, and being with you isn't enough to be away from everything else. I may choose Earth over you even when I want both. You have told me I may not have both. And so I may choose Earth."
"I don't like to think about that."
"I realized there is a fourth ending. I may decide to stay, but only because I feel bad about your situation. Or maybe I stay because I love you, but I am miserable because I must give up everything important to me. I pick you over Earth, but it isn't enough for me to be happy. So you win the mate you want, and you are happy, but I am not."
"I wouldn't be happy if you were miserable."
"In these scenarios, it may seem like there are two where you win and two where I win, but we do not both win. If I stay, you win. If I go, I win. But that is not reality. If I stay, and I am happy, then we both win. No other scenario exists where we both win. Furthermore, I am fairly certain that even if I go home, it will hurt, and I will feel guilty besides. Whatever happens, it will be a long time before I will be able to find joy again."
"Then we must both win."
"And so I am going to give you every chance for us to both win. But Moirai, the other three scenarios have higher chance of happening unless you learn how to make me so happy I am willing to have you and lose Earth. And so, yes, I am teaching you to manipulate me."
She said nothing for a minute before whispering, "Thank you."
"Have I won a piece of your clothing?"
She growl-laughed. "Yes."
"Excellent. It is now one to one, but if you wish to play for more clothing, you're only getting one more piece, or we can play for a second day. But if we play for additional days, I do not know what we will do tomorrow. And I have to believe I can win."
"I will offer a large handicap until you get better at this game," she offered. "I wish good games, too, Sapphire. When you start to win, we will lower the handicap and maintain it so you win close to half, as best we can, across all our games."
"All right. Good."
And so we played one more game, and I lost a second article of clothing, but it was a good game, and I felt like I could win in the future.
We played other games, cooperative games against the computer. Her favorite games were hunting games, and in the cooperative games, we were a hunting pair. We both enjoyed them.
I was eventually gamed out, so we stayed up late, talking quietly, sharing this and that.
For a day that had started poorly, it ended well, and even if Earth were disappearing behind us, perhaps I would survive.
The Dark of Space
Bronze had programmed the visor to give me good dreams. She hadn't warned me she was going to do it, but I woke feeling really good.
And horny as hell.
I bitched at her about that. She only laughed but then asked if I were truly upset.
"No. But I can still bitch."
She laughed some more. "It was a reward for both of us for winning our last hunting game against the computer."
"So your reward is knowing I'm over here squirming?"
"I had dreams similar in nature to yours, Sapphire."
"Ohhh," I said. "Well, that's okay then. Was I really good in them?"
We teased each other for a few minutes, then I asked her if I could see Earth.
"A few minutes only."
She granted access to any camera I wanted, so I turned one to Earth, leaving it first at zero magnification. It was already so far away. I watched for a while and sighed.
"That is enough, Sapphire."
"I know," I said in a soft voice.
She turned the camera view off. "How shall we entertain ourselves?" she asked a minute later.
"I want a massage."
Seconds later, the chair began to move.
"It can do that?" I said. "I was kidding. Oh, that feels nice though. But I was kidding. Maybe later."
The chair stopped.
"I'd rather you were holding me and not this chair," I said.
"It is another twelve hours, and then we are far enough away. I could release us now, but it is better to be safe."
"Then it is your responsibility to entertain me."
"We could play a game."
"Later," I said. "I'm going to lose, and I won't respond well. And I'm not willing to work hard enough to win. Teach me something."
"You have an entire University's coursework available."
"No. You teach me something." I paused. "Unless you don't want to," I added in a small voice.
"I'd love to teach you something, Sapphire. Do you know what you want to learn?"
"Anything, but I want it to be useful. Maybe you can teach me about your job, so when you come home from work, I might understand what you're talking about."
"I'd like that," she said. "An hour a day, every morning. Does that sound good?"
"Yes. With exams. And a reward if I do well."
"And if you do not?"
"You may take a privilege away until the next exam."
"Are you sure?"
"Wearing clothes is not a privilege. And a bad exam means you lose a privilege. Do you think you can write good exams?"
She laughed. "Yes."
"And making me memorize things I can easily look up will just frustrate me. I understand that can be important, but I want the exams to be about concepts, not raw facts like how much something weighs."
"Agreed. A good exam tests understanding and principles."
"Then we are agreed," I declared.
"But I have not had time to prepare, so today's exam will be verbal, and we may decide afterwards it was for practice only. Tomorrow's will be better."
"Do you mind doing this?"
"No. It's a wonderful idea, and I'm touched you want to know about my job. All right. Xenobiology is a mix of several disciplines. As the name implies, it begins with biology, but the biology of species originating on worlds other than one's own. I am a xenobiologist when I study humans. You are a xenobiologist if you study Temier."
"That's easy enough."
"Yes. I began my career not as a xenobiologist, but as a biologist. I became a xenobiologist when I left Temier. I have an education your universities would consider a doctorate in several disciplines, and I also hold a med
ical degree on Temier."
"Oh, wow. I got me every girl's dream, a doctor. I would swoon if I weren't already on this fainting couch."
"Show some respect."
"I am, actually. I'm impressed."
"I hold enough education and experience to be called a doctor for humans, although I have never worked in a medical institution on either of our worlds, so I would not be licensed to practice medicine. Instead, I am a researcher."
"All right."
"I also hold degrees in both Temier and human psychology."
"Of course you do."
"And sociology."
"Oh god. Do I have to learn all of this?"
She laughed. "Not to the same level as I do. But you said you wanted to understand."
"All right. I understand."
"Sapphire, I am the lead researcher for all extraterrestrials in Earth space who study humanity. People with titles such as doctor or researcher or lab technician report, directly or indirectly, to me.
"Before we go further, I want to ask you something else. You said you would want a career when you stay with me. I will suggest you should first receive an education."
"Wait," I said. "I've only recently finished with eighteen years of education. I want to work for a while. Then go get more. That was my plan before. Is it possible to keep it but still set me on a career path?"
"Yes. I was going to ask something. Would you be willing to, probably indirectly but possibly quite directly, work for me?"
"If it's not menial work. I don't want to become the equivalent of an office clerk. I didn't get my education for that."
"I might direct you somewhere else, but if you work for me, then it is easier for us to be mated in a Temier fashion. If you work for someone else, then you will be pulled away from me, and that is difficult for a Temier."
"All right. So this class isn't only theoretical."
"You're okay with that?"
"Yes. More than okay. But now give me a minute." I thought about the implications of what she said. She was taking me seriously, or it felt like she was. She was taking my desires into consideration. I still felt unsettled, because I didn't think there would actually be work I could do. But Moirai seemed to feel otherwise. But I thought about all of it. I would have liked to know the nature of the jobs she might have for me, but I decided that was, at least for now, a distraction.
"All right," I said after a few minutes. "I think I'm caught up. Go ahead."
"All right. So, I oversee virtually all research concerning humanity. I do not oversee any research concerning technology or Earth's environment. Those are other people."
"But if a plague hits Earth, and the aliens decide to help, then someone who works for you will be the one to find the cure."
"Yes."
"But you weren't involved in cleaning up Fukushima."
"No, but given who I am, I was involved in the discussions and negotiations."
"Do the people at the testing centers work for you?"
"No. That isn't considered research. However, I was involved in developing the testing methods, and I recommend changes. I also have influence over what Jasmine does, but she also does not report to me."
"Do you report to anyone?"
"We have a council. Jasmine and I both report to the council, but she is a non-voting member."
"Okay. I understand."
"All right. For the rest of this lesson, we are going to discuss what exactly these fields cover. Biology, medicine, psychology, and sociology. They are all related, as one influences the other, but they are separate fields."
She was a fascinating teacher, and she held me enrapt for our entire lesson. But at the end I had to admit I'd absorbed enough for at least today.
"I am taught out as well, but there must be an exam." She then proceeded to ask ten questions, and they were all good questions. I did poorly, answering six well, one reasonably well, one very poorly, and the last two not at all.
"I barely got a C," I muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"Human grading systems." I explained. "I got six and a half out of ten, that's a low C at best. What privilege did I lose?"
"Sapphire, perhaps that is how humans grade. It is not how I ask questions. I listen to the previous answers, and then I ask harder questions to probe the depth of your understanding. It is impossible to score 100% on my exams. Six and a half is very good."
"I didn't win my reward though. It's not that good."
She thought about it. "Were the questions good? Do you believe you should have been able to answer?"
"Yes. You didn't ask anything you hadn't just taught me." I paused. "Stupid chairs."
"I know. Soon."
"Was there something you wanted to do?"
"To spend time with you."
"Maybe we could do something easy. Watch a movie together or something."
"I'd like that."
"Does your computer have Earth movies?"
"It does."
"Pick something sweet for us. I'll make the popcorn."
* * * *
I asked about Temier movies. Temier didn't make movies, and we both decided we didn't want to watch movies from the other species.
"We won't understand them, even with translation. There will be too many references to things we can't understand."
"Like a Kurosawa movie."
"A what?"
"A Japanese movie maker. He is considered one of the best directors that ever lived. But he made movies based on Japanese culture for Japanese, and westerners have a hard time understanding much of the hidden meaning, or at least in the movies of his I've seen."
"Ah, yes. Consider the same problem but instead of a different language and culture, it's a different species entirely."
"And yet you watch human movies?"
"I have studied humans for a long time."
We watched a couple of movies, discussing them afterwards. They were both lighthearted, but Moirai asked my opinion and even asked me to explain a few things.
I was movied out, and she agreed a change of pace sounded good. "We could play a game."
I laughed. "I'm not going deeper into clothing debt to you until I have paid my current debt. I will not lose my house due to gambling debts." I made a joke of it, but she understood. And so we played cooperative games for a while.
It was fun playing with her. She was insanely competitive, and she spent a good share of the time growling besides. But she roared victory frequently, too.
"For someone with seven doctorates, I am surprised at your joy in playing. When do you have the time?"
"For years, I didn't. I am making the time with you, and now I will always make the time."
"But you show such joy."
"I miss this. I should have made time in the past for joy. I was too caught up in the way my life turned. You're giving this back to me, and I thank you, Sapphire."
I didn't say anything. I didn't like being reminded she had banked her entire future's happiness on me. It was pressure I didn't need.
We talked for a while and played one more game. And then a chime sounded.
"Guess what, Sapphire?"
"I can get out of this chair!"
"You can get out of that chair."
"Oh, thank the living stars. And is there a shower?"
"There is, and there's even a bath."
"Both answers are unexpected. I thought you were going to tell me I must clean myself with scrubbing sand or something."
"Oh, no," she said. "But we recycle the water."
"So I'm getting your bath water from last month?"
"It's absolutely pure, I assure you."
"I bet I find Temier fur."
"No Temier fur."
She released herself from her chair, and I thought it was decidedly unfair that she was dressed while I was not. But as soon as I was on two feet, I wrapped my arms around her and held tightly. "I missed this," I said.
"As did I," she whispered.
"I want a shower," I said. "And a real meal. Something small though. And then can we cuddle?"
"We certainly can."
She felt good.
* * * *
She showed me the shower. It was large enough for both of us, and I could tell she hoped for an invitation. I considered it but decided with the needy mood I was in, if she tried to seduce me, I was far too likely to let her.
I wasn't going to be that easy.
"Which is my room?"
"We share a room."
"You are obligated to give me space that is my own. We are not in a hotel with no space to give me. You have rooms. Which one is mine?"
"The one across the passage from the one we share." She'd already shown me that one. "I will move your things there."
"Thank you." Then I lifted my face and closed my eyes. Instead of kissing me, she released me and turned away.
"Bronze?"
"Yes?" She didn't turn around.
"You don't always understand human body language, do you?"
"I think I do fairly well."
"I want to know if you just rejected my request or didn't recognize it for what it was."
She turned around. "What request?"
"I asked for a kiss." I then repeated my position for a moment. "Do you see? Lips raised for access. Eyes closed for greater appreciation, and to let you guide it." Then I looked down. "But perhaps you were not interested, feeling rejected because sometimes I will need to be alone. That is human nature, Bronze. You must know that, too, or you are a very poor xenobiologist."
"I am a very good xenobiologist," she said. "But I admit, I did not recognize the request for a kiss. May I see it again?"
I demonstrated, and she took me into her arms.
It was a lovely, lovely kiss. I held her fiercely afterwards. "Thank you. I needed that."
"You were right. I was feeling rejected. I shouldn't. I know this is overwhelming. Thank you for teaching me this body language. Are there other signals you wish to be kissed?"
"If there are, and you don't recognize them, I'll be sure to tell you." Then I turned in her arms, leaning against her, and tilted my head to the side.