by Robin Roseau
Part Two
Truth
Time passed. My fifth month with Bronze came, and time passed.
And then we arrived at the last night of five months of nights. I still hadn't issued any promises, but I wasn't sure that Bronze realized that any longer.
We shared a meal at home. Afterwards, she asked for a game, but I told her, "I want to talk first." I led her to the entertaining area, pulling her onto the sofa, but then said, "Stay there." I moved to the opposite end.
She pouted.
"Do you know what today is?"
"I'm sure I do."
"Tomorrow will be five months. It was five months ago that you won our final challenge. If we are being specific, it will be five months exactly at 1:03 tomorrow afternoon that Jasmine declared it the beginning of my five month commitment to you."
She searched my face, unsure where I was going.
"It is tomorrow at 1:03 that you may ask if I intend to stay."
"But-"
"But I have given you five months, and tomorrow I give my final answer."
"We are mated."
"You are mated." I paused, holding up my hand. "There is something I haven't said. I should have said it. I am in love, Moirai. I love you. But there is one last issue between us, and I have not given you a final answer."
"You would leave even though you love me? Even though we are mated? Even after all I have done for you?"
"I will leave if I cannot trust you."
"You can!"
"Moirai, I need to know for myself. So, you have two chances, one now, and one at 1:02 tomorrow. If there is anything else you should tell me, now is the time."
She searched my face. "There's nothing. You know there's nothing. I've told you everything."
"I want you to promise something to me. I want you to promise you'll think about what I just said, and if there's anything you haven't told me you should have, you promise to tell me tomorrow by one."
"There's nothing, but I promise. I'll think about it. But if there's anything, it's so small I can't think of it."
I offered a smile, although inside, I was in knots. She needed a hint, more hints than I'd been giving her. I smiled again and began moving towards her, but I held her off when she reached for me. Instead I crawled into her lap and then inhaled, I inhaled deeply.
"You smell so good. Why do you smell so amazingly good? I grow weak every time I smell you."
"That is my natural scent," she said. "Have you not noticed that Red and Black smell similar?"
"They don't smell this good," I said, taking another deep breath.
Of course, the pheromones went to work, and my knots disappeared. My reluctance disappeared. I inhaled again. "God, I want you."
"What you mean is you want me to take you."
"That too," I said. "Whenever you're ready."
It was amazing.
* * * *
In the morning, I wouldn't let her touch me. But I asked her to take me for a walk, and then a monorail ride. We went twice around the rim, then we went for lunch. I had us back in our apartment shortly before one.
I turned in her arms and asked for a kiss. Then I pushed away, not wanting my brain clouded.
"1:03 approaches."
"It does. Are you going to give me your answer? I know you love me. I couldn't do more to make you happy. Please stop teasing."
I stepped further away from you. "Have you anything else you should tell me? Anything at all, no matter how small."
"I love you," she said. "We are mated."
"You are mated. I have not yet begged to be mated in return." I turned to her. "What happens if I do? I believe you and Jasmine explained there would be more modifications."
"Yes, but there is no hurry. I've already told you about that, at least a little. If you have questions, I can try to answer them."
"No, I don't have questions about that. What else is there?"
"Nothing. I swear, Sapphire. There's nothing. Or if there is, you're going to have to tell me what you're looking for, because I don't know."
"Don't you?" I asked coldly. "I see. Please arrange for my return to Earth on the next available transportation suitable to a human."
"What?"
"I'm going home," I said.
"No. You are staying here."
"When you said it would be my choice, was that a lie, too?"
"I haven't lied! But you love me. You told me yourself. We've been mated for three months."
"No, we've been having sex for three months. I told you over and over sex for a human is different than it might be for you, and I even told you I wasn't making promises. It was sex."
"You love me."
"I do. But I don't trust you! I am going home."
"I don't understand. I've told you everything. There's nothing to distrust. How can I prove it?"
I considered. What if Jasmine had lied? It wouldn't be the first lie. I considered carefully. "Why do you smell so good?"
"You keep asking that. It's how a Temier smells."
"No. Other Temier don't smell as good as you do. I've checked. I've had my nose buried against both Red and Black, and they smell like you, but not remotely as good as you do. There's no comparison. Do you care to try again?"
"You're mad because I smell good."
"I want the truth. Why do you smell that good?"
"I don't know. I didn't notice any particular change. Maybe Dr. Fitza can explain. Maybe something about the change enhanced my natural scent. It smells the same to me, and my nose is more sensitive than yours. Maybe it's because I'm not wearing fur."
"You've told me that you bathe more in this form than you used to as a Temier."
"I like bathing with you," she explained. "So yes."
"So you should be washing your scent off. But it doesn't matter. I put my nose against you, and I inhale, and you smell like heaven."
"That's a good thing!" she said. "I like how you smell, too."
"Ah, but do you grow weak in the knees when you inhale me?"
"Yes! Well, not literally, but yes. You smell like we're mated. We told you that, too. The moment I won our final challenge, your body began producing 'we're mated' hormones so I could feel the mating instinct. We told you that. If you have questions, you should ask."
"I see." I turned away, but then moved away from her when she approached. Then I turned around again. "So, answer me honestly. Do you think humans don't know what pheromones are?"
"It's in your research. Your bodies produce them. So does a Temier body. So?"
"So yours weren't altered so I'd be especially susceptible?"
And in her expression, even her alien expression, I could tell she knew. But she chose to lie.
"No. I produce Temier pheromones. They weren't even adjusted for a human."
"You lie!" I screamed.
"I do not lie! I am producing somewhat more than average, but within the range of a freshly mated Temier. Yes, that's high compared to a human, but it's within normal limits."
"You're still lying. You had your body changed so I'd be affected."
"I had my body changed. You know that. We picked a form you like. I told you that. I told you all of it. I did it for you. I don't know why you're mad."
"You didn't do it for me," I said. "All along, everything you did was for yourself. All of it was so you could take me from my home and guilt me into accepting this situation. And you've been drugging me for five months to help convince me to stay."
"I have not!"
"Geneviève said you smell good, but nowhere near as good as I think you smell. Why is that, Moirai?" At that, guilt flashed across her face, quickly smothered. "You had your body altered to produce pheromones specific to me."
"No," she said. "That's not what happened."
I glared at her, saying nothing, and then she slumped.
"We altered your body," she said, almost a whisper. "We altered your body to produce pheromones for me, so we would smell mated."
"And?" I asked coldly.
"So you would respond to my natural scent, my natural pheromones. We didn't change me. We changed you."
I stared for a while, then asked calmly, "When?"
"In stages. It started when you arrived in Africa. Then we took you for additional treatments when you slept. The last was shortly before we arrived here."
"And there have been no other adjustments to my body since then? How about testing? Have you engaged in more of that?"
"Not since we arrived."
She wasn't looking at me anymore.
I shut off the visor, removed it from my face, and set it on the nearest available surface. "I begged you to tell me. I even offered no end of hints. I gave you every chance at honesty. You're a fucking liar, and I can't trust you. We're through. Please arrange for my return to Earth."
I was crying long before I was in my office.
Confinement
She waited perhaps five minutes. I sobbed the entire time, sitting on the floor with my back to the wall, my hands in my face.
But then she arrived outside the door, and she began begging me to forgive her. She told me over and over how much she loved me, how much she needed me, and reminded me that I loved her, too.
She tried the line, "I only want you to be happy."
At that, I screamed at her to leave me alone.
She begged, she pleaded, and from time to time, I only screamed, "I can never trust you. You knew what I wanted to know. How stupid did you think I was? You did this! You did this to us! All you had to do was tell me. That's all. But you continued to lie until I presented you with so much evidence, you couldn't think up any more lies. Leave me alone! We're through!"
Eventually she left.
* * * *
I think I slept, lying on the floor with my body blocking the doorway. I don't know how much time passed, but I woke to her voice on the other side of the door.
"Please reconsider. Please give me more time. I'll make it up to you."
"I'll never be able to trust you. I told you from the beginning we were going to have trust issues because of the duplicity the moment we met. And you kept lying to me all the way to the end. I'll never trust you, and I'm not staying."
She said nothing for a long time, but then she said, "You need to come out. I've arranged your travel."
I stood slowly. Moirai was waiting on the other side of the door when I opened it. "I need my glasses."
"I have a bag for you. They're in the bag."
"I need them now."
"Come with me." She turned away, and I followed her blurry form.
Near the front door were two other blurry forms. I could tell they were large and powerful, but that was all.
"I don't require this much security," I said.
"Please don't go."
"If I say I'm leaving, are these people going to destroy my body? Are they here to toss me out an airlock?"
"I couldn't do something like that to you. But if you're not staying, then they'll escort you somewhere until the shuttle is ready to leave. You'll be home in two or three weeks."
"Fine." I stepped forward. "Let's go."
One took my arm and turned me to the other. That one set a visor over my eyes. It settled into place, and all I could see was a set of slowly moving lights.
"I can't see."
"They don't speak English," Moirai said. "But they know you can't see. Sapphire, please don't leave me. I need you."
"You should have thought about that while you were repeatedly lying to me. Tell them to get me out of here."
A moment later, we were out the door.
* * * *
They kept me blinded for our entire walk, not saying a single word. We spent some of the time on the monorail, and then there was an elevator ride.
This time it wasn't gentle for me, and I realized the stationmaster wasn't pleased with me. Tough shit.
They brought me to a room, set me in a chair, and then set my arms on a table in front of me. The table swallowed them, effectively immobilizing me. Then they each knelt beside me and pressed my legs into the legs of the chair. A moment later, my legs were also swallowed.
They left without ever saying a single word.
I tried to access the visor without luck. And so I sat there, wondering how long they were going to keep me here like this.
I had no reference to judge the passing time, but then there was noise behind me. Someone stepped into the room and took a seat across the table from me. After a moment, the visor cleared, and I could see someone.
Seated before me was a Catseye, but not one I knew.
"Sapphire Fletcher," she said, "I am Daisy Green." Her eyes glowed green. "I am the stationmaster here."
"You'll excuse me if I don't shake," I said. "I would rather not accept a Catseye greeting."
She ignored my comment. "Dr. Moirai is beside herself."
"She's not the only one."
"You don't look at all upset. Have the last five months been nothing but a game to you?"
"A game? A game? She spent the last five months lying to me, repeatedly. In exchange, I told her there would be a few requirements for me to stay. I had to like the station. And it's amazing. You should be proud. I told her I had to love her. I don't know if it's her god damned pheromones, and the things you did to my body, but I do love her. I love her like I've never loved anyone!"
I looked away.
"And I told her I had to trust her. How am I supposed to trust her after repeated months of lying, especially when I kept asking and kept hinting what I wanted to know?" I turned back. "I don't know what other lies there are. I don't know if she lied about what happens now. I'm being treated as if I won't live another hour."
"We don't do that."
"Or maybe you'll just suck my brains out so I can't tell anyone about any of this, then drop me back on Earth. You've already demonstrated a willingness to engage in human trafficking. Maybe you'll sell my body to some brothel, and I'll spend a few years with my legs spread until I'm too worn out for anyone to want."
She stared, blinking a few times. "You think so little of us. That doesn't match the glowing things I've heard about you."
"I don't know what to think. I'm sitting in this chair like this, being treated like this, for the offense of breaking up with my lying girlfriend. This isn't how humans treat someone for a breakup, especially when I've been given so many god damned reasons to want to just go home. But I sure as shit don't trust a single one of you. I've been repeatedly violated, beginning last summer during testing, and in every encounter since. What am I supposed to think?"
I didn't wait for a response. "When you came, I thought you were such moral beings. I thought we could learn from you, not just about science or how to save our planet. But how to treat each other. Well, I can safely say I hope no one learns how to treat people from the way I have been treated!"
I shook my head. "We both know you're not going to send me home with my mind intact. I'll tell, and you know it. God! You people disgust me. Not because of how you look, or how you feel, but for how you act. You are lying, cheating pieces of shit. So fuck off and do whatever the hell you're going to do. Evidence suggests nothing I say is going to matter, anyway."
She leaned back, her eyes never leaving mine. "We have no intention of hurting you. The next transport to Earth isn't for ten days. You will remain in this facility during that time. And then you will go home. You will be on Earth nine days after departure and, I expect, in your own home a day or two after that. Unharmed."
"With no job, no savings, my house taken by the bank, and who knows what else."
"Authorities on Earth will address these issues. They are outside my area of control, and so I know few details."
"I don't believe you. I'll tell."
"You won't. If we can do what Dr. Moirai went through, do you think we can't alter you?"
"I see. So you will harm me."
"No. We will only make it literally impos
sible for you to talk about this. You will not be altered in any other fashion."
"I want the changes reversed."
"Tough."
"I see. I was assured any changes done to me were reversible."
"They are, but Dr. Moirai is my friend, and she is in agony. She'll never be able to do this again. You are dooming her to a life of loneliness."
She rose from the chair. "You will spend your time in this facility, in a chair. You will spend the duration of your voyage to Earth in the same chair. Enjoy the trip."
She was halfway out the door before I called out, "Ms. Green! There is a human tradition."
"Oh?"
"Yes. It's called blame the victim. You're doing a great job following it. I must commend you."
* * * *
The visor dimmed to the dancing colors. It was only a few minutes before someone new came in. I didn't say a word as they pulled me from the chair, moved me through several corridors, and then began to undress me. Then they unceremoniously picked me up, dropped me into a chair, and held me there as it swallowed me.
Home
They actually weren't cruel. I wasn't subjected to a month of utter boredom, unable to even move. Instead, I wasn't in the chair very long before I began to zone out. It wasn't sleep, not exactly, but my mind lost all focus.
I had enough thought to wonder if they were scrambling my brains after all. I had enough thought to wonder if they were about to make me into some sort of pliant creature who would do whatever she was told. But then even those thoughts slipped away.
I was on Earth well before my next coherent thought. I'd been out of the chair for some time before my brain began to work. I was still wearing a visor, but my vision was normal.
I was seated in a chair. It seemed like a normal chair facing a plain, metal table. There were no restraints of any sort.
I sat still, not moving. And then, apparently from one moment to the next, I was facing someone, a human woman.
"Do you know your name?"
"May I have some water?"
A cup appeared in front of me. I stared at it for a minute. "Not thinking well."
"Drink the water," she said. She helped me drink then helped me set the cup back down. "Do you know your name?"