by Laura Pavlov
“That doesn’t sound stupid at all.” He stroked my hair. He was close enough that his warm breath tickled my cheek.
“Well, it was an epic failure. He had no interest in knowing me. I was leaving for Europe the day after my high school graduation. I’d saved money for years from my summer jobs to take the trip with a few friends. I was going to be attending Berkley on a full-ride when I returned, and I guess, I don’t know, I wanted to shove it in his face. Let him know I’d done well on my own, even though he’d left me with an addict to fend for myself.”
“Jesus. What a bastard. Was he surprised to see you there?”
“Yes. And not in a good way. I marched up to his table and told him my name. It took him a minute to process. He was at a table with some friends, and they got up and excused themselves. He offered me money, and basically just wanted me to go away. He wasn’t interested in my accomplishments or who I was. He was only concerned about being exposed.”
“What a piece of shit. How did it end?”
“I thought I’d leave feeling on top of the world, you know? I thought I’d tell him off and it would feel really good. But it didn’t. It made me feel small and I hate him even more for that. It was better when I hadn’t met him. I romanticized it in some ways. I imagined he didn’t know what he was missing, and that he’d regret it. That he’d feel bad about the situation he left me in. But he didn’t. He just wanted to pay me to go away. It was all he had to offer me. He didn’t want to know about where I was going to school or that I was a great student. He treated me like I was insignificant, and that was tough to swallow.” It was weird to talk about this with Ford. I didn’t talk about it with anyone. Molly knew I’d met my father once, and that it had been an epic failure, but that was as much as I’d ever shared with anyone. Todd knew I didn’t have a father, and he’d never really inquired about it. I didn’t know why I was sharing all of this now, but Ford wanted to know, and it actually felt good to tell him. To get it off my chest.
“What kind of man abandons his child?”
“Not a good man. Tell me about your father,” I said, and he stilled before speaking.
“He was a great man. I wish you could have met him. He was an amazing husband and father. He lived for his family. He was dedicated to Montgomery Media but never at the expense of us. We ate dinner together every night. He never missed one of Jack’s football games. He took mission trips with Harrison. And he and I, we shared a special bond.”
“He sounds amazing. What did you two do together?” I asked.
“We both had a love for reading. I’d find new books and couldn’t wait to share them with him. He had so much family pride. His father had started Montgomery Media back in the day, but Dad grew it into a multi-billion-dollar company. He couldn’t wait to pass it on to me. He had nicknames for all of us from a young age. He called me the legacy, Harrison the peacekeeper and Jack the rebel.” He paused to laugh. “He’d always tell me that I’d do big things at the company and bring my own innovations to the forefront. He believed in me, and there wasn’t a day in my life that I didn’t worship the man.”
My chest squeezed. The way Ford spoke of his father with such adoration and love was so genuine and real. They were clearly very close, and I knew that his father’s death had been very traumatic for him.
“What was the fight about that night?”
“It was stupid, really. That’s what haunts me. I’d found Madison in bed with my best friend, Garrett, and I’d lost my shit. Not even because I was heartbroken. Looking back, I don’t think I loved Madison at that point in our relationship. It had run its course. But we stayed together because we had a history. Garrett and I grew up together, and I couldn’t believe he would do that to me. And at the time, in the moment, I thought I loved her. I think my ego was wounded that they’d both betrayed me. It happened the night before my college graduation, so you can imagine what a fun celebration that was.” He paused to chuckle. “I was set to start at Montgomery Media the following week, and my dad couldn’t wait for us to work together. But I was in a dark place. I called him from the airport to let him know I was leaving and wouldn’t be coming to work with him. I’d decided to go to London, and I’d start my MBA the following fall abroad. I wanted to spend the summer traveling before I started the program. I’d been admitted immediately, and I wanted to get far away from everyone and everything. It was an impulsive decision and not a rational one. Dad was fuming. He’d made a position for me and he told me that I was behaving like a spoiled rich kid. I told him he was right, and he could thank himself for raising one. Those were the last words I spoke to him. We’d never fought before. Even through all the teenage years, we’d never had a big blowup. He was an even-keeled man—always fair and reasonable. But I’d lashed out. I’d been mad at the world at the time.”
I ran my fingers through his hair and swiped at the tear running down my cheek. Damn if this man wasn’t making me a sappy asshole. “He knows you didn’t mean it. You and your dad shared a special relationship. I’m sure he felt bad for getting upset with you. You’d just found your girlfriend and your best friend in bed together, which by the way, total asshole thing to do. It was still raw for you. You probably would have been more rational a few days later, but you weren’t given that time.”
“Yeah. He was killed that night. I got the call when I was sitting in a hotel room in London. It haunts me to this day, you know? He and Hanky were in a terrible accident. They were arguing. Hanky tried to calm him down, make him understand that I was young and just being irrational. He told him I’d come around. But Dad was pissed and swerved off the road and hit a tree. They were both ejected. Hanky was hurt but conscious. It was a miracle really that he was able to drag himself over to Dad and dial 911 for help. Dad died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I never said goodbye. I never got to tell him I was sorry for what I said.”
My heart ached. Most of the time I didn’t believe my heart even worked like normal people’s hearts did. But right now, it was wide awake and aching for this beautiful man.
“You know you can tell him all those things now. He’s watching out for you, I’m sure of it.”
“Yeah, that’s what Mom says. I do feel him with me, but I think it’s just me wishing he were here.”
“You should tell him how you feel. Tell him you’re sorry and that you miss him. You don’t have anything to lose. And if there’s a chance he can hear you, wouldn’t it feel good to say it? I’m not saying to do it now, with me, but when you’re alone. Talk to him. See if it helps.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I sure as shit am not having a conversation with my dead father while lying in bed with you.”
I laughed. “Try it when you’re alone, Montgomery. I talk to Gram all the time. It helps me feel close to her.”
“Yeah? Tell me about her.”
“She’s the reason I fell in love with baking. She taught me how to make cupcakes before I could talk. She was the most talented baker I know. Honestly, the woman didn’t measure, didn’t follow recipes, she was just a natural. And she tried to make up for the fact that I didn’t have a mother growing up. It was tricky because she hurt for me, I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. But she was also grieving for the little girl that they lost in a sense. My mom had been a tough kid, at least that’s what Gram told me. She had a wild streak from the start. She got in with the wrong crowd in high school, became an escort, and hid it from them. She didn’t like the house my grandparents raised her in and told them she wanted more. And she sure as hell didn’t want to work for things. She wanted an easy way out. Gram said after I was born my sperm donor gave her money, and she got us a place on our own and started getting involved in drugs. Apparently, she would bring me to live with them, and then come into money and take me back and it was a vicious cycle. They finally got full custody of me in middle school, because I broke down and told them the things I was exposed t
o.” I cleared my throat at the memory.
He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me tight. His chin rested on top of my head. “What kind of things?”
I heard the hesitation in his voice. I squeezed my eyes closed. I’d never talked to anyone about it aside from Gramps and Gram, and that was only because I was desperate to get away from her.
“Scary things. Creepy men. She’d take me with her to score drugs and then she’d pass out in an alley and I’d just have to sleep out there with her. But when I got to an age where her clients were interested in me, that’s when it got really scary. That’s when I learned to fight. One night, this guy was at our apartment and he came into my room where I was sleeping. I woke up with him on top of me, and I fought like hell to get away. I spent the night hiding outside in the bushes. That was my breaking point because I knew I wasn’t safe there. I hitchhiked to my grandparents’ house and told them everything. And, well, they saved me.”
He squeezed me tight and let out a long breath. “You saved yourself, Harley. I’m so proud of you for knowing to get away. For not being afraid to fight and fight hard. I saw that in you the first day we met, you know. I knew you were different. Special. Even though I tried like hell to push you away.”
I laughed. “You were such a jerk the day we met.”
“A sexy asshole though, right?” He chuckled.
I pushed back so I could see him in the moonlight. “Thank you.”
“For what?” His gaze searched mine.
“For everything.” I wrapped my arms around him and nestled just beneath his chin again. It was nice to feel—safe. Cared for. I trusted this man and I had no idea why, but I liked it.
I liked him.
And that was terrifying.
Chapter Thirteen
Ford
This week had been a hectic one. There were a ton of political stories breaking, and I was putting out fires left and right. But Harley and I had spent every night together, and to say that it was good would be an understatement. I hadn’t had an actual relationship in five years, and that paled in comparison to what I shared with this girl already. She was fire and sunshine. Strong and vulnerable. All wrapped in one beautiful little package. We talked for hours every night. I’d never wanted to talk to anyone this much before, never really cared for small talk or deep conversation with anyone outside of my family. I’d always been a man of few words, but this girl—she brought something out in me. And, the whammy of all whammies—I hadn’t even had sex with her yet. I didn’t know what we were waiting for. We weren’t seeing anyone else and we were clearly together. Hell, I couldn’t get enough of her. She’d tried to go home Wednesday night to sleep in her own bed, and I’d all but had a meltdown. I thought about her when I wasn’t with her, and I was happiest when we were together. How fucked up is that?
Tonight, she was making me dinner at her place, and she’d convinced me to spend the night at her little studio apartment. I couldn’t fathom why we’d sleep at her tiny place when I had a much larger space, where Helena cooked for us, and it was safe and comfortable. But Harley had a way of persuading me, and I’d given in. I had more security on her than she knew, as well as a guard set up at her grandfather’s house. I knew that Damon and Valentina weren’t going to give up. People like them didn’t just go away. They’d force you to handle them, and I was still trying to figure out how I’d go about it.
“Here you go, it’s my favorite new wine,” Harley said, handing me a glass of Montgomery Vineyard Chardonnay as I sat on her couch. Her apartment smelled like basil and garlic, and my stomach rumbled.
“Thank you.” I took the glass and set it on the coffee table before reaching for her and pulling her to sit on my lap. “And thanks for making me dinner. You know Helena will cook whatever you want. I know you had a long week at the bakery.”
She rolled her eyes before tangling her fingers in my hair. “I like to cook. And I’m excited to have you here. I know it’s small. I know it’s not a palace. But it’s mine. And I worked really hard for it. I want to share it with you.”
She kissed me quick before pushing to her feet. She moved to the kitchen and pulled something from the oven. I glanced around the place. She was right. It was very—her. The small space above the dry cleaners was, well, normally it would be considered a dump. But Harley had turned it into a chic little oasis. She had a small dining table set for two, with flowers on the table and a few candles lit throughout the space. I believe this is what my mother would call cozy. I’d never been one for cozy, but being here with her, was nice. I liked it. I walked over to her bookcases and admired her collection. She had a ton of books, and they were organized by genre. She took pride in everything she had. Everything she did. And I admired it. I moved across the room, studying the photos hanging on the wall beside the front door. There were wedding pictures of a couple, which she’d told me were her grandparents. A few of her as a little girl with them as well. None of her mother.
My blood still boiled when I thought about how her mother had exposed her to shit that no kid should ever see. It infuriated me. The thought of some fucking creep climbing into her bed and having to fight him off. I tried to bury that anger, because I knew it was painful for her to share it with me, and I wanted her to tell me everything.
“Dinner’s ready. Come on over and eat.”
“This looks really good,” I said, dropping to sit at the little table that took up residence between the living room and kitchen area.
“It’s my favorite. Penne alla vodka. This was Gram’s favorite sauce recipe. And, in honor of my high maintenance boyfriend, the pasta is gluten-free.”
“Very thoughtful. And, Jesus, this is delicious,” I said after I finished chewing.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“So, we’re sleeping here tonight, huh?” I asked, one brow raised.
“You’re not weaseling out of it, Montgomery. It’s small, but it’s quaint, right? I want you to spend time at my apartment, too.”
“I’m teasing. I like your apartment,” I said, taking another bite. I preferred my home for obvious reasons, but there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for this girl.
“So, I did want to talk to you about something.”
“Shoot.”
“Sex.”
I dropped my fork on the plate and wiped my mouth. “Do tell.”
She laughed. “Well, I know I told you before that I wouldn’t sleep with you because you were still seeing other women. But now, I mean, we’re together, right?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“So, what’s the holdup?” she asked, taking a sip from her wine glass.
I barked out a laugh. “I don’t know. I thought you weren’t ready.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, probably sharing every torrid detail of my life put a damper on the whole sex thing. But I don’t want to hold back with you. I appreciate you being so patient though. I know that’s not your strong suit.”
We both chuckled at her words. And that was the fucking truth. I wasn’t the most patient man. I wanted what I wanted, and I didn’t like to wait for it. But this was different. I wanted Harley something fierce, but not unless she was ready for it. Our connection was strong, but it ran deeper than just the physical.
“Does that mean you’re ready?”
Her head fell back in laughter. “Well, I didn’t expect to have such a formal talk about it, but yeah, I was sort of wondering why you hadn’t made a move. We’ve slept in the same bed for a week, and we’ve just kissed. Which, trust me when I tell you, I’ve enjoyed it. But I just want to make sure you still want more.”
She had a smile on her face, but something in her eyes caused my chest to squeeze. She looked vulnerable and nervous.
I pushed to my feet and reached for her, pulling her to stand. She’d never need to ask me twice. I tossed her over my should
er and her body shook with laughter. I gently dropped her to the bed. Her dark hair fell all around her on the white bedding. She looked like a goddamned angel.
“I want you so fucking bad I’m going out of my mind. But I know sex is something you take very seriously, so I didn’t want to rush you. But I’m dying here, woman,” I said, propping myself above her.
“Oh yeah?” She beamed up at me with a wicked grin.
I covered her mouth with mine and moved down her neck. Kissing her everywhere. I reached for the hem of her T-shirt and she arched her back so I could pull it over her head. I pushed the straps of her lavender lacy bra off her shoulders and exposed her perfect tits. I took one in my mouth and she moaned and tangled her fingers in my hair. I reached behind her and unclasped her bra and tossed it on the floor, moving my attention to the other breast. I couldn’t get enough. I could spend hours tasting and exploring her beautiful body. I kissed my way down and unbuttoned her jeans before pausing to look up at her. She pushed up on her elbows, and the heat in her gaze nearly undid me right there. She helped me yank them down her body and I paused as I took in her matching lavender panties.
“Did you wear these for me?” I teased, tucking my fingers in the lacy fabric and moving it down her legs.
“Yeah, Montgomery.” Her words were breathy and hoarse. “I only have two matching sets, which is why I’ve had to do laundry every night at your place because I didn’t know when you’d finally make your move. I didn’t want to be caught in a mismatched set.” She was propped up on her elbows, completely naked, with one brow raised in challenge. Jesus. This woman would be the death of me.
“We’re going to have to remedy that situation and make sure you have more matching sets than you know what to do with.” I stood over her and scanned every inch of her glorious body with my eyes.
Fucking perfect.
Her head fell back with a laugh. “My point was—it took you long enough.”