“She’s not alone,” he says coldly. “There’s an aide with her.”
“An aide? You mean a stranger.” I raise my voice at him, causing more than a few heads to turn. “She’s not even two years old yet and you’ve got her surrounded by strangers. She’s obviously hurt.” I motion to Amanda’s blood-stained shirt. “She’s probably scared to death with all the medical equipment and unfamiliar faces. You have to let me see her.”
The doctor holds up a hand as if he knows I’m about to charge past him. “Those are the rules. If her parents don’t show up soon, a social worker will be called.”
“A social worker?” I shout. “But that would just be another stranger. She must be terrified. Please let me see her.”
The door behind him swings open again and Hailey’s piercing screams echo through the waiting room. He looks behind him. “I have patients to attend to.” He nods at the card in my hand. “Have them find me.” Then he walks off through the double doors that require a special badge to open from the outside.
I stand stunned; unable to move. I feel the wetness run down my cheeks as I think of a little helpless girl alone and scared. Does she feel abandoned?
Did my daughter feel that way when I gave her away?
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach as my back hits the wall and my body slowly slides to the unforgiving concrete floor.
A gentle hand touches my shoulder. I look up to see a nurse who’s wearing scrubs with teddy bears on them. Her eyes echo everything I’m feeling. She holds her hand out to help me up. Then she leans in close and whispers, “Come on, honey, some of us know when to break the rules.”
My hopeful eyes snap to hers.
“But only one of you,” she says, peering around me to Amanda.
“Will you be okay out here?” I ask Amanda.
“Yeah, my mom is on her way. I called her before you got here.”
“Good. Thanks, Amanda. You’re a good babysitter. You did everything right.”
She gives me an apologetic nod as the nurse swipes her card, sneaking me through into the back.
With each step, the traumatic cries become louder. I hear the dull drone of the old doctor talking behind a curtain, and we quickly move past it. The compassionate nurse pulls me through an open door into an actual room with walls. She dismisses the aide who is trying to calm a scared and vulnerable Hailey.
I didn’t know what to expect if and when I actually got to her, but when she sees me, her reaction melts me. Her expression changes instantly, as if my walking into the room is the best thing that has ever happened in her entire two years on this earth. “Pie-pie!” she belts out somewhere between a cry and a prayer.
She holds up an arm, the one that’s not splinted to her body, rendering it incapable of movement. A bandage spans her forehead, gauze wrapping around her thin tangles of curls to the back of her head. Big, thick balls of tears catch on her lashes before spilling over to her cheeks. She hiccups between her cries, revealing just how long she’s been at it.
I try not to gasp as fear grips my throat, overpowering me. Instead, I paste a calming smile on my face and walk over to the hospital bed, that’s really more like a crib. “Can I?” I look at the nurse, gesturing to the broken little girl on the bed.
The nurse smiles. “Of course.”
Hailey starts climbing over the railing with her good arm to get to me. When I pick her up, she clings to me so hard we practically become the same person. My face falls to the top of her platinum curls and I inhale her sweet angelic scent.
“It’s okay, sweet pea,” I breathe into her hair, using her father’s endearment to help calm her.
“Hailey boo-boo,” she whimpers into my shirt.
I nod into her hair, holding back more of my own tears while being careful not to touch the side of her head with the bandage. “Yes. Hailey has a big boo-boo. The doctors will fix you, sweetie. Maybe you’ll get a big Band-Aid with a princess on it. Or maybe a pretty pink cast we can decorate with markers and stickers.”
I’m not sure how much she understands through her continued tears. But she’s not screaming anymore, and for that I’m grateful. I cover her ear with a gentle hand and ask, “They will fix her, right?”
The nurse gives me a reassuring smile. “Crying and screaming—those are actually good signs. It means she most likely doesn’t have a brain injury. But she’ll probably need a few stitches.” She smiles down at Hailey, moving a piece of hair away from her face. “Her gorgeous curls will cover any scar. And she’ll need an x-ray of her arm to check for a fracture.”
Beeping noises come from outside the door. “Will you be okay in here?” she asks.
I nod, and then through the lump in my throat, I say, “Yes. I think we both will.”
Her face bleeds compassion. “I’m Sadie, by the way. Don’t let Dr. Warner bully you. You belong here. I’d say her daddy is lucky to have a girlfriend like you.”
“Thanks.”
She makes her way to the door. “Don’t be surprised if she falls asleep from exhaustion. It’ll do her some good. When her parents get here, we’ll proceed with the tests.” She shuts the door quietly on her way out. A window partially covered by blinds remains the only thing separating us from the rest of the emergency room.
I sit down on the chair next to the bed, Hailey still molding her body to mine as her breathing starts to even out. I run soothing strokes down her back and in no time, just like Sadie said, she falls asleep in my arms, hiccupping every so often as her body settles into slumber.
Carefully, I pull Mason’s phone out and text Baylor to see what the holdup is. Almost immediately, it vibrates with a call. I answer in barely a whisper. “Baylor, where is he?”
“I can hardly hear you, Piper,” she says in a loud voice, as if her volume will make up for mine. “Mason wasn’t home so we called the gym and they said he only ran for a short time. Maybe he’s on his way home now. Skylar is waiting outside his building and Gavin and I are backtracking to the gym. Maybe he decided to go back to Skylar’s after his run. We’ll check there, too. What have you found out? Is Hailey okay?”
“She’s asleep for now,” I whisper, looking down upon her delicate head. “They think she’ll be okay, but they can’t run tests until a parent is here. Please—find him, Bay.”
“You can bet on it, Pipes. You just take care of that sweet girl until he gets there, okay?”
I nod, another viscous knot hitching my voice. “You can bet on it,” I say before hanging up.
~ ~ ~
Hailey jolts me awake with her pained cry, the warmth between our bodies confirming we’ve been like this for some time. A glance at the clock on the wall tells me we both nodded off for a few hours. It’s almost midnight. And no Mason. No Cassidy.
I check Mason’s phone. It has a few texts from my sisters, who are still looking for my M.I.A. boyfriend. I curse myself for breaking my phone and leaving it on the sidewalk last weekend. If it weren’t for that, Mason would already be here and Hailey would be having the test she needs to make her better.
“Shhhh,” I breathe into her hair. I rub her back and tell her everything I can remember my mom telling me whenever I would get hurt. I wonder if the pain medication they gave her is wearing off. I wonder why nobody has been by to do anything for her.
“Want Dada,” she whimpers into my shoulder.
“Daddy will be here soon. I promise, Hailey.”
I look down at Mason’s phone again, giving me an idea. I open up his playlist and scroll down until I find it. The song Hailey was humming that day in the park. I press play and turn up the volume, hoping it will distract her from the pain.
She looks up at me and her little lip quivers. Her nose runs and I dab it with the cuff of my sleeve. I start singing along with the song, not caring what my amateur voice sounds like when my only audience is a two-year-old.
One big fat tear rolls down her face, right before her lips turn up into a precious untroubled smile. The smil
e that sends strong gripping hands through my body, taking a powerful and eternal hold of my heart.
chapter thirty-two
mason
I’m conflicted. I’m awed. I’m speechless.
I want to barge in the room and take my hurt daughter into my arms. The primal need to protect her—protect them—is strong. But what I’m witnessing through the window in Hailey’s private room is nothing short of a miracle.
Piper has my daughter in her arms; the type of embrace shared by a mother and child. She is swaying back and forth, rocking Hailey in a gentle calming motion. When Piper turns her body slightly to the side, I can see her mouth moving. It looks like she’s singing.
I crack the door slowly and quietly so I don’t alarm them. The music hits my ears and I smile. How did she know to play this song? It’s not the music that takes my breath away, it’s her voice. I haven’t heard it since the day I first met her when she was singing in my car. My feet are cemented to the ground as I listen to the love of my life sing and comfort my fragile daughter. I see Hailey’s little arm gripping onto her for dear life. My heart is overflowing with joy watching them bond.
The doctor assured me there’s no major damage. Maybe some stitches and a splint or cast for her arm. And while the father in me wants to walk over and take Hailey in my arms; the man in me knows this moment is too important for me to interrupt.
When I saw Skylar standing outside my building, running towards me with worry etched on her face, I knew something terrible had happened. I thought maybe it was Piper. Finding out my baby girl was in the emergency room ranked right up there with how I felt after my parents’ accident. Flashes of them battered and dying petrified me as Skylar and I raced to the hospital.
This became one of those times being recognized was truly a blessing. The nurse buzzed me back without question and a doctor appeared almost instantly to give me an update before I even made it back to her room. The news was hopeful, and wasn’t even cause enough for Skylar or her family to hang around and miss a night of sleep, so I sent them all home to hug their own children, promising to update them if anything changed.
Now, standing here in the doorway, watching the two of them together—I see my whole fucking future in this room.
Hailey shifts in Piper’s arms, spotting me leaning against the door frame. “Dada!” she squeals, reaching out to me.
In two swift steps, I’m in front of her, gathering her small, broken body into my arms. After a long embrace, I survey the damage on her battered body. Tears sting my eyes when she starts crying, mumbling indecipherable two-year-old words about her hurt arm and pounding head.
“It will be okay, sweet pea. Daddy’s here. The doctor will be in to fix you up soon. Then we can go home. Would you like that?”
She sniffles up at me, nodding her head.
I look over at Piper, who has given us space to share a father-daughter moment. “I can’t even begin to thank you for being here. Are you okay?”
Her glossy eyes glance down at Hailey as her hand comes up to cover her heart. She nods, tears spilling from her brilliant green eyes. I swear, beyond the tears, I can see something happening. And I think it’s called healing.
There is a bustling in the room behind me. The doctor and nurse have come in wheeling a tray table with blue paper covering it. “Mr. Lawrence, we’re here to do Hailey’s stitches,” Dr. Warner says.
The nurse explains the procedure, telling us the worst part will be the administration of the local anesthetic.
They allow me to hold a screaming Hailey tightly in my arms while they use a needle to numb her forehead. Then they give her a few minutes to calm down and let the drug do its job before putting in the stitches.
I take the time to question Piper about the accident. “Tell me what you know about how this happened.”
I listen in horror as she recalls every detail; from the babysitter’s frantic call until I walked into this room. I absorb every piece of information, but my mind can’t help replaying one bit of it over and over again.
The gate was left open.
I have visions of my baby tumbling helplessly down the stairs. I shake my head in anger, wanting to ring Cassidy’s neck for allowing this to happen. “And no word whatsoever from Cassidy?” I ask. “She left my daughter with a brand new sitter and doesn’t even bother to answer the goddamn phone?”
Piper looks at me with compassionate eyes. For Cassidy’s sake, I hope she’s laid up somewhere in this hospital, or I’m liable to kill her with my bare hands.
“We’re ready to proceed now, Mr. Lawrence,” Dr. Warner says. “You’ll need to put her on the bed for this. But you can hold her hand. It looks like she’ll need five stitches.”
The nurse lowers the tall sides of the bed, allowing me full access to her while they work on her head.
“She’s numb,” the nurse assures me as they prepare the instruments. “This won’t hurt her, but it will probably scare her, so anything you can do to distract her would be beneficial.”
Piper steps behind me, holding my phone up for me to see. It has Hailey’s favorite song on the screen. “Your turn,” she whispers in my ear. I can hear the smile in her voice.
With my left hand, I encompass Hailey’s entire forearm. With my right hand, I reach back and lace Piper’s fingers with mine. “Together?” I ask?
Then, as Hailey gets stitched up, we sing. Our voices fit together almost as well as our bodies did earlier.
The second time we play it, the nurse joins in, making Hailey smile. The door remains slightly open, and I wonder what passers-by must think about our impromptu performance of the song made famous by a Disney movie.
They finish the stitches, placing a much smaller bandage than before on her forehead. She looks more like my little girl again.
Piper puts a hand on top of the one of mine still covering Hailey’s. “You did a great job, sweetie. You are very brave, just like the princess in that song.”
Hailey smiles, hearing Piper compare her to a princess. She removes her hand from under ours and her little fingers grab Piper’s. “Pitty finners,” she says.
Piper proudly displays her deep-blue fingernails as if she’s suddenly become a hand model. “Why, thank you, Hailey. Blue is my absolute favoritest color in the whole wide world. Do you want to know why?”
Hailey nods her head in wonder.
“Because it’s the color of your eyes,” Piper says, smiling at my daughter, then looking at me, her emerald irises speaking all the words her lips are forbidden from saying in present company.
I love you, I mouth to her.
“Yeah, I’m really glad I moved here,” she says, with a secret grin only I know the meaning of.
“Oh, you’re new to New York?” the nurse asks her.
Piper blushes. “No, I pretty much grew up here, but I didn’t move here until recently.”
“Okaaaay.” The nurse’s confused look makes us laugh. “We need to get an x-ray of this little girl’s arm. We can bring the equipment in here, but it will take a few minutes and you’ll have to wait outside.” She gives me a sympathetic look and says quietly, “She’ll probably cry and you may not want to see it, so this may be a good time for you to complete the paperwork out front. But don’t worry, I promise to take good care of her.”
The door swings wide open and a technician wheels in a large machine. I lean down and give Hailey a kiss on her head. “We’ll be right outside, sweet pea. They need to take great big pictures of your arm to see your boo-boo.” I take Piper’s hand and lead her away.
Hailey starts to tear up. The nurse with teddy bears on her scrubs tries to calm her, but the further away we get, the cries turn into screams and my hearts starts breaking.
“Go,” Piper says, seeing my face that’s swimming in despair. “You don’t need to watch this. I’ll stay right here. You do what you need to do so we can get her out of here.”
“You sure?” I ask, looking at my whimpering baby girl through the
window.
Piper’s hand touches my arm, sending a warm comforting feeling coursing through me. “I’ve never been more sure.”
My broken heart surges with love for this woman as I kiss her cheek and then walk away, being escorted out front to give them my insurance information.
I’m led through the double doors to the full-on commotion of the crowded ER.
“Ma’am, we can’t let you in there like this!” a man yells.
“My baby is back there, you stupid prick. Let me go!”
My head snaps over to the familiar voice. Cassidy is being restrained by a hospital security guard. She looks gorked out, like that night at the movies. I put the clipboard down and rush over to her. “What seems to be the problem here?”
“Mason!” she belts out. “Tell this meathead to let me in.”
I look at the guard, who swipes a finger across the tip of his nose several times and then gestures back to Cassidy.
I take a step closer and see it—the faint trace of white power on the edge of her nostrils. “What the fuck, Cass?”
She struggles to free herself from the guard. “My baby is back there. She needs her mama.” She barks at him, “Let. Me. Go!”
I shake my head at the guard, letting him know to keep his grip. “Cassidy!” I raise my voice and hold my palm out in front of her to stop her repeated ramblings. “The only reason your baby is here is because you left the goddamn gate open. Were you doped up then, too? How dare you put my daughter in danger like that. And how could you leave her with a sitter and then go off the fucking grid for five hours? What kind of mother does that?”
“How can you be so sure it was me and not, uh . . . Miranda? And what about you?” She maneuvers closer to me with the guard still latched onto her arm. I can smell the rancid mixture of vodka and drugs coming from her every pore. “Your stupid little bitch called me because she couldn’t find you. What were you doing, Mason? Don’t pretend like you’re Prince-fucking-Charming when you were off banging some other groupie.”
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