They talk about gifts they've received, the best and worst, stores they love, what they're going to purchase next. Essentially, some of their conversations revolve around material items.
Example:
My style is quality time. Walks along the beach, delicious dinners. I befriended a lady who had the gift style. During the time I met her, she was in her late fifties. Although she acted like a child for her age, I was definitely attracted to her. She would take me out to dinner to lovely restaurants. That all changed when she lost money from an investment. I always knew she was the materialistic type, but saw this as my way to explore what kind of gifts she would need. From our conversations, she frequently discussed old memories of her youth when men admired her. She would then add that men still admired her. The perfect gift? Something that would accentuate her youth, and provoke desire within men. I was careful to make sure the gifts did not imply she was withering and wrinkling like a prune in the sun. These gifts included “brightening facial serum to bring out your inner glow”, perfume, and other items of similar nature.
How to appeal to this:
Give your target gifts that satisfy their lacks, and emphasis the persona they want to show to the world.
I will not discuss “acts of services” as I cannot distinguish the difference between the two.
What to do with this information:
Truthfully, I’ve found this to be very beneficial in my life. As you integrate this into your life, you will find that we all have our own “love languages” as Gary Chapman calls it. As you begin to play to people’s love languages, you’ll find that people will depend on you more.
Your Target’s Deepest Fantasy: Make Them Come True.
Fantasies are a form of subconscious mind defence mechanism. There are many reasons why we develop fantasies as our preferred defence mechanism:
1. We, or your target was forced to stay inside as a child and watch tv. Especially cartoon and disney movies, causing the subconscious mind to utilize fantasies as a defense mechanism.
2. Your or their parents have always coerced them to be a certain way. Rather than playing different roles and giving the child the liberation to explore - their parents have placed restrictions on their child. Suppressing their desire to delve into different realities - thus engendering a child who turns to his/her fantasies to explore these fantasies.
3. Was raised in a very idealistic environment. Parents or guardians who use the words and/or phrases “that's unrealistic”, “keep dreaming”, “I'm just window shopping” ironically, raise children to become idealistic.
How would you discover your target's darkest fantasies?
Not only do you have to understand what their fantasies are, but you have to understand what kind of fantasies they are. The concrete types we have to understand are: idealized, suppressed, or unmet needs fantasies. Here is how to determine which fantasy is which.
Idealized selves:
This is their impeccable world - they are whoever they want to be, circumstances are precisely the way your target wants it. Fantasies insinuate an idealized self would be the tone in their voices - a dreamy tone that is. Your target may gravitate towards categorical movies, people, public figures.
Note that many people won't ever reveal what their fantasies are. Let alone have the self vigilance to analyze or categorize what their fantasies are.
Example:
A girl I knew was drawn to figures like Rihanna, watched tons of movies where girls were prostitutes, bad girl types. I know this is my persona as well. She secretly admired mean girl things I would do - such as: dismiss someone, or give someone an attitude on the street. I say secretly because she never overtly admitted - but there was a gleam in her eyes… Red in her cheeks - a curve on the ends of her mouth. In her waking life, she’s a good girl. In her ideal world: she’s liberated. She says what she wants when she wants - reveals some skin when desired and is a typical “bad girl”.
Suppressed selves:
This is much like the idealized self except your target may or may not actually want to be this, because they’re mainly afraid of these suppressed versions of themselves. An idealized self is someone they want to be. A suppressed self is someone who they could potentially want to be - but probably wouldn't. Not even in their deepest darkest fantasies. An example here would be a killer. A pedophile. A person who wants to become a prostitute. A violent person who shows everyone up. There may even be a hint of shame during these fantasies. Suppressed selves can stem from a curiosity of unacceptable social roles. You'll be able to tell this fantasy is a suppressed side through: People with specific suppressed sides are drawn to people who express their suppressed selves. The most common example is someone who plays with their dark sides draws noble people in. Rude people attract mild mannered persons. For more information, please see: what are they not?.
Example:
I went on a trip to Asia. Prior to arriving in Asia, I was talking to a man who lives there. Ten minutes into meeting, I observed he was well coordinated, mindful, and lived in his head. We spoke for ten months prior to my arrival. Time and time again, I vowed I’d come to Asia. However, I was aware of his skepticism. Five months later - there I was. The man admitted he didn’t believe I’d actually come to Asia. The conversation went like this:
Him: Wow, I’ll admit I didn’t think you’d actually come to Asia.
Me: I know. But when I say I’m going to do something - I’m going to do it.
Him: Wow, you’re so wild. I wish I could be like that.
I hadn’t realized how suppressed his adventurous side was until later that night I asked him if he would join me for a walk through an abandoned yard. “It’s midnight.” He says as he shoots me a puzzled/strange look.
My reply: “And, I’m only here for a few days. Let’s go.”
As we’re going down the elevator he confesses he’s never done something like this, but assumes I have. I’m casual about the entire thing because I do things like this often. Not only did I awaken his adventurous suppressed side, I allowed him to assume the lead. He planned how we’d break into the haunted area, and how we’d break out. He was much more adventurous than me, at that point. That was the objective - to allow his suppressed side to surface… To become one with his suppressed self. His body language loosened up. Enthusiasm consumed his being.
Not only was an adventurous side suppressed, but the desire to be “dirty.” He seemed afraid of uncleanness. I allowed him to get his hands dirty - without any judgement. This would’ve been a night he’s never forgotten.
Unmet need:
Unmet needs are needs that are not met. Your victim may speak in a tone that sounds like a mixture of longing and desperation.
Example:
Here's another vacation example when I went to Europe. Regarding European romances - I decided to go with the most cliche option: a Paris romance. Online, I began to chat with a French boy (I call him boy because he look and acted like one). Three years my junior. Things were casual - at first. Up until I began to say the things his heart and ego needed to hear for him to fall in love. He wasn't the best looking, but when I saw him on webcam - he was gorgeous. Observing from the look his face, he had no idea how attractive he looked - which made him much more appealing. Thirteen hours is how long we spoke everyday over Google hangouts. Several unmet needs revealed themselves:
● The need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, even praised, worshipped. How I could tell: easy - his wording. Once I asked little boy if he’d ever had a girlfriend. His answer was as expected: no. Abruptly he expressed that he had missed opportunities, and he was absolute on the fact that they had liked him. This wasn’t it though - the part that revealed the need for praise was him sharing a story with me about a lass who displayed an interest in him. As the story progressed, his demeanor transitioned from kind gentleman to cocky teenage boy. He bragged about how much he had rejected her; how much she liked him.
● The need to be superior. H
is interests were primarily vulgar. Which explains his excessively nice demeanor - a coverup.
● Control. He questioned everything mainly with a “why”, needed to hear reasons as to why I did what I did. The uncertainty drove him wild. He described his interaction with me as “climbing the world's tallest mountain”.
You're expecting a paragraph about how I successfully fulfilled his needs? Unfortunately that's where I fail you. There was only one need I fulfilled so well, and it was the first one. The first one was enough to keep him obsessed but the next two needs were left unfulfilled. The way I left the two needs unmet were the worst ways I could leave them unmet: I gave him the opposite. The opposite was dangling my superiority and unpredictability in front of his big sparkly naive eyes. I went too far with dangling these things in front of him, I forgot I had to actually fulfill the next two needs. Occasionally I would, however there was not a balance between fulfilling and withdrawing his needs. As a result of this - fear lead him to running away. Poor little boy wouldn't even allow me to satisfy his sexual curiosity. Romantic and feelings of fear wouldn't allow him to go near me.
What to do with this information:
The most important thing here is that how are you supposed to get them to express a fantasy. There are two ways you can go about this - possibly incorporating the two would be powerful. Watching a thought provoking movie. When the movie ends say "ya know..I've always had that type of fantasy." (I don't know - make some bullshit up) followed by; how about you? What do you fantasize about? Hint naughtiness in your voice. Not too naughty or they will tell you what their sexual fantasies are rather than an emotional fantasy they have. Imitating the conversation with a naughty secretive fantasy after a movie is perfect because you'd already get them into the flow. Everything just seemed so natural. It would seem that the movie has made you think of this rather than you strategically planned. When choosing a movie - make sure it's a dark movie.
If your target does not enjoy movies, tell them a story you heard about someone acting indecently attempting to satisfy a fantasy of theirs.
Some people walk around like dead zombies lacking any kind of imagination, or lacking the courage to explore their deepest, darkest fantasies. If revealing their fantasies is something you cannot easily hear from them, observe their behaviour. It is easy to understand which fantasies are which, and why they have particular fantasies they do.
Once you've gotten a good idea of what their fantasies may be - you must bring these fantasies to life. If you discover they fantasize about having people treat your target like a god - treat them like a God. If you understand they want to be romanced - romance them. You must know when to lead and when to allow them to lead.
Conclusion
Personality Profile
Name of person being profiled: “Dean”
The conclusion is what you've all been waiting for: a personal personality profile compiled together. You may notice broken sentences and notes. The reason being is, this is how you'll take notes on your target as well. When I was analyzing Dean, not every piece of information in each chapter applied to him. The information will be in order starting from chapter three. First, I'll state the information retrieved from my psychoanalysis, then actions to follow.
Chapter Three; Their past:
Relationship with parents; information:
● Disruptive.
● Mother dismissive, father physically abusive.
● Arguing about sex. Mother constantly wanted sex, felt unwanted. Father didn’t want to have sex anymore because of lost libido. Mother esmasculated father. Therefore, possibly learned that saying yes to sex, even when not wanted - will make him a man.
Actions:
● Dismiss him.
● Display higher sex drive.
● Flaunt superior sexual past.
● Emasculate him.
Former flames; information:
● Physical exteriors of the women looked partially like prostitutes with substance abuse problems.
● Always came to the rescue.
● Allowed women to publicly humiliate him (emotionally).
Actions:
● Without looking like a prostitute with substance abuse issues, I seeked to have a look that may have represented what escorts with drug problems looked like. It was obvious Dean had slight misogynistic tendencies - just covered up with an extreme nice guy exterior. It’s not his fault - look at who raised him. To closeted misogynists,escorts represent the lowest of the low. It’s quite possible this is their chance to assert their perceived superiority over these women who need something from them: their money.
● I pursued my innocent looks, but had the attitude of a helpless young girl in need of another hit of her drug of choice. I had an advantage: my age. A girl my age could never have enough funds.. Or so he thought. I allowed for his tendanices to peek through. He finally felt control, he would give me money; I pretend to be his girlfriend in public. In private we were buddies who did coke together. He didn’t even want to touch me.
Chapter Four; Their belief system:
What motivates them; information:
● Motivational words:
● "I have to"
● What motivates him is the avoidance of helplessness. Rather, his motivation was to feel as if he does finally have control.
Actions:
● When trying to motivate him, I made him feel he “had” to do things. There was a certain urgency. I would text him “Dean, we have to go to the movies. We're running out time!”
● When using what motivates him against him, I would imply certain actions could give him a feeling of control. When demotivating Dean from committing an action, I expressed this action might make him feel powerless.
Chapter 5; defense mechanisms:
What are they not; information and actions:
● There are several forms of denial. Regarding Dean, he is trying to persuade someone he is something. In his case, it was that he was such a nice guy. Even an extreme feminist. I encouraged his act - but countered it by confessing I didn't understand why he "respected" women. Even going so far as to to expressing my “hatred” towards women. Slowly, his mysnoigist side came out... The side I waited for - to play with.
● Along with denial, he had defense mechanisms like undoing. He felt extreme guilt. This guilt was also used against him in very subtle ways.
Chapter 8; expectations:
Deepest fantasy; information:
● Suppressed: suppressed misogynist
Action:
● See defense mechanisms psychoanalysis and actions in this section.
● Ideal self:
● To be someone who is superior to women.
Action:
● Obtaining superiority above women can take on contrasting forms. Femininity is normally associated with being small, weak, sensitive. I displayed those traits in a very exaggerated manner. Calling him when I was emotional, breaking down at every "sad" part of the movie. He would tease me about "being such a girl". When I "broke down" he would command me to stop being such a girl. I did remind him I was a girl, and asked him what he meant by this. He smirked and replied "you're like a dude to me. So stop acting weak like a girl. This isn't you." My actions gave him the chance to finally experience his ideal self: superior to a woman who he perceived to be powerful (me).
● Unmet; psychoanalysis and action:
● Love from a woman. Unconditional love. Someone to make him feel like a man. Never received this. When I came around, I did provide the unconditional love… when I wasn't emasculating him.
Have fun psychoanalyzing your targets and getting into their heads - just remember not to lose yours.
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