After Wimbledon

After Wimbledon Page 20

by Roberts, Jennifer Gilby

  'I'm sorry I walked off like that this morning,' Sam says, as we watch the highlights of Joe's match. 'Harker got under my skin a bit.'

  I link my fingers with his. 'Ignore him. He's just being a bastard. And trying a bit of gamesmanship. He wants the title.'

  'Then he should fight for it on the court. Let the best man win.'

  'The best player,' I correct. 'You're the best man.'

  Sam kisses the back of my head. 'Well,' he says, 'I guess you should know.'

  I'm silent for a minute while I debate whether to say what I'm thinking.

  'It... bothers you that I've been out with him, doesn't it?'

  He doesn't answer right away. Eventually he sighs. 'If I'm honest... yes, a bit. Not that there's anything wrong with you having dated other people, but I wish that they didn't include him. He's being a real drongo about it. This morning wasn't the first time he'd put in a dig. And some of the things he's been saying... well, I won't repeat them, but I think they cross the line beyond what's acceptable after a break up. It's been pretty taxing on my self-control.'

  'He's probably trying to get you to beat him up, in case they'd throw you out of Wimbledon for it.'

  'Well, I'm not risking that. But if he keeps this up, once the tournament is over I may have to have a private meeting with him about it.'

  'And appeal to his better nature?'

  'I was thinking more along the lines of breaking his nose.'

  I smile to myself. I'd like to see that. 'Should I worry about this violent streak in you?'

  Sam rolls me over. 'I would never raise a hand to you - or any woman for that matter. I hope you never doubt that. It's strictly a man-to-man thing. And then only with good reason. I don't get into brawls for the fun of it.'

  I gaze lazily up at him. 'I know. You're a good guy. Filled with honourable intentions.'

  'Not filled. There's room for a few dishonourable ones as well.'

  'Oh good,' I whisper. 'I like those too.'

  He bends his head down to kiss me. I wrap my arms around him as he shifts closer. Lips caress, tongues stroke and heads spin.

  After a while he props himself up on his elbow. 'You're knackered, aren't you?'

  'Kind of,' I admit. My day of tension has taken its toll.

  He flops down beside me again and kisses my ear. 'Never mind, I'm knackered too. Wimbledon's not exactly good for your sex life.'

  I nestle against him and stroke his hair. 'Can I ask you something?'

  'Sure.'

  'Well... Maddy said that she was your first date since Julia. Is that really true?'

  'Yes.'

  'So I'll be your first in what... eighteen months?'

  He winces. 'Sounds pretty bad when you put it like that. That's what I get for throwing myself into work, I guess.' He smiles. 'I still remember what goes in where though, in case you're worried.'

  I laugh. 'I'm not, just surprised.'

  I haven't gone eighteen months without sex since I lost my virginity - though admittedly I was 19 at the time. I think the most was three.

  'Yeah, well. I tried a rebound shag once and discovered it only made me feel worse. I thought I'd wait for my heart to heal before starting again.'

  'Still,' I grin at him, 'you must be pretty horny after all this time.'

  'Well...' He gazes down at me, eyes darkening, 'I'm certainly looking forward to getting back in the saddle, as it were.'

  'What romantic phrasing.'

  'Sorry.'

  My face stretches in a huge yawn.

  'Although it obviously won't be tonight.'

  'I'm sorry.' I cover my face with my hands. 'I'd try, but I'd probably fall asleep halfway through.'

  He takes my hands and kisses each finger in turn. 'Definitely don't want that. Screaming, moaning and gasping are all good, but snoring really hurts a man's ego. Not to mention his balls, since it requires him to stop.'

  'Can't have that.'

  'I would prefer to avoid it.'

  I pull him down for another lazy kiss.

  'So, two more days of Wimbledon and I'm officially retired,' Sam murmurs.

  'Yeah.'

  'Have you decided what you're doing yet?'

  I shake my head. 'It's just complicated. And with Mum and everything - I don't want to find myself where she is. And I don't want to see you like my dad is right now.'

  I realise what I've said a fraction too late. 'I mean...'

  'I know what you mean.'

  I rub some of the fabric of his T-shirt between my fingers. 'Would you still want to see me if I was away all the time?'

  He strokes my hair. 'We could work something out. Just... not for too long. Another year or two I could live with, I guess. Another five... well, I don't want to leave it too late. For kids, I mean. Having a family is very important to me.'

  'Me too. It wouldn't be five more years. That's far too long to put up with the tour. Christ, three years would be.'

  'You could go back, if you left and regretted it. Assuming you didn't leave it too long. It's been done before.'

  That's true. I could even call it a break.

  'How about you try normal life for six months? Stay in shape and keep playing a bit - I'll play with you anytime - and then see how you feel. If you want to return, you could restart training then and be back in time to get a wild card into Wimbledon next year.'

  That's a really good idea.

  'I mean... if you want. It's just a suggestion. No pressure.'

  'Maybe that's the way to play it,' I agree. 'Have a trial run.'

  My face splits in another huge yawn.

  Sam kisses me again. 'Sleep on it,' he says.

  Chapter 15

  Saturday. Week 2, Day 6 (Ladies' Final)

  I wake up before Sam and spend a few minutes tracing my fingers over the contours of his face. And then his chest. And then other places.

  Astonishingly, this wakes him up. I smile at him. He kisses me.

  'Sleep well?' he murmurs, pulling me close.

  'Very.'

  'Not tired then?'

  I nip his neck. 'No.'

  'Or hung over?'

  I kiss his neck. 'Not at all.'

  'Any pressing engagements this morning?'

  I arch against him as his hands run over my back. 'None. You?'

  He cups my backside and pulls me flush against him. 'No,' he says. 'To all the above.'

  I take his face in my hands. 'Right,' I say, 'get your kit off.'

  He laughs. 'Isn't that supposed to be my line?'

  I push him onto his back and let my hands run down his body. I hook my thumbs under the elastic of his boxers. 'You can say it next time,' I say. 'I promise.'

  'So?!' Adrienne demands, when I return her call later on. 'Tell! How was it?'

  I'm lying on my back on Sam's bed, which I still haven't left, beaming at the ceiling. 'Good.'

  'Just good?'

  'Very good.'

  'En détail! I need details! I swear on the All England Club rule book I won't breathe a word to anyone else, but TELL ME!'

  I laugh and stretch out on the bed. 'Well, we started around eight this morning...'

  'Uh huh?'

  '... and finished around 11.'

  'Wow.'

  'I know I've pulled at least one muscle.'

  'Oh, mon chou.'

  'And...' I bite my lip, 'he actually did make me scream his name.'

  'I'd hang on to this one, if I were you.'

  I close my eyes. 'Oh, I think I might.'

  'So, just between us and purely on the basis of bedroom performance, Sam or Joe?'

  'Sam. His approach is just... different. Mind you, he's not exactly lacking in any department.'

  'Can I tell Joe you said that?'

  'No,' I say lazily, too tired to take her seriously. 'Though I might, if he doesn't quit winding Sam up. I mean, I know he has a right to be angry, but he's not heartbroken, he's just being a git.'

  'Well we can't expect him to break the habit of a
lifetime.'

  'I suppose not.'

  'Are you seeing him tonight?'

  I roll over onto my side. 'Yes, but we have to be good so he can rest up for the final tomorrow. I want him to crush Joe and that's not going to be easy. So the encore will have to wait until after that. Probably Monday.'

  'The trials of dating a tennis player.'

  I sigh. 'I know. But soon he'll be retired and then I can wear him out every night.'

  I giggle. 'And I'm definitely looking forward to that.'

  Walking down the street, I'm convinced it must be obvious to everyone what I've been doing. I'm exhausted, but somehow so energised that I can't possibly rest. The combination means I can hardly walk in a straight line. Smiles keep bursting out and the bubbles inside me are back once more.

  You know, I think the best bit of this morning was how I felt afterwards. Emotionally, I mean. I felt happy, closer to him and... loved. And though he hasn't said so, I think maybe I am. Or soon will be.

  I need to check on Dad and see if Maddy's been round yet, but I pop into my house first and sort a clump of mail. The amount of junk I get is unbelievable. Why am I getting brochures about stair lifts? Surely I'm a few decades off that.

  There's also a leaflet about the Open University. I wonder if I could do a degree? I didn't have much interest in school the last time around, but maybe I could give it another shot. If I retire.

  The more I think about it, the more taking a break seems like the best option. A chance to clear my head, without closing down my options.

  I wander through the kitchen and gaze out into the garden. The weather's doing terrible things. It's the day of a Wimbledon final and it's not raining. The sun is out, the sky is blue, there's not a cloud to spoil the view, as the song goes. Satan is shopping online for snowshoes as we speak.

  Before the world rights itself, I step outside. My rose tangle is blooming nicely and I stroll over to the fence to sniff the flowers.

  Movement next door catches my eye and I look up. My mouth drops open and something black very nearly flies into it while I gape in the direction of my parents' conservatory.

  My dad is in there. My dad is in there kissing a woman who is not my mother. A tall, blond one, slim and fashionably dressed, who actually looks an awful lot like...

  Oh, Christ.

  Maddy and my dad suddenly jump apart as if they've been electrocuted, scuttle to opposite sides of the conservatory and look everywhere but at each other. Maddy grabs her bag, says something I can't lip-read and practically runs out of the room.

  I pelt back through my house and intercept Maddy on the street outside. She jumps when she sees me and blushes even deeper red.

  'What the hell was that?!' I yell, rather louder than I'd intended. I hope Mrs. Winterson next door isn't home, because it'll be all round the neighbourhood within the hour if she is. I lower my voice and whisper fiercely instead, 'I asked you to talk to him, not seduce him!'

  'I did nothing of the kind!' Maddy gasps, wringing her hands. She lowers herself shakily onto my parents' garden wall and puts her head in her hands. 'Oh my goodness, I just kissed a married man.'

  'You just kissed my dad. How could you do that? He's twenty years older than you. And he's your uncle. And he's MY DAD.'

  'He isn't my uncle,' Maddy snaps. 'He's way more distant than that. And he looks much younger than he is. But anyway, that's not the point. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of... happened.'

  I roll my eyes. 'That's such a cliché.'

  'Well, it's a cliché for a reason!'

  'All right!' I drop down beside her. 'I believe you. You didn't mean it to happen. So how did it happen? How long were you there?'

  Maddy is verging on rocking back and forth. 'About... I don't know.' She checks her watch. 'About an hour. I told him the truth about why I'd come. And he looked so defeated that I stayed for some tea and managed to get him to talk a bit. He was saying how kind it was of me to come round and then somehow...'

  I stare into space and try to process this.

  'It was probably a reaction to the grief,' Maddy is saying. 'And pity, on my part. Let's forget it ever happened.'

  'Let's. I'm going to go see Dad. You go home. Don't you have a date tonight?'

  'What?' Maddy gets up and brushes herself off. 'Oh, yes. So I do. I'll just... go and get ready for that.'

  She hurries off down the street, heels clicking on the pavement.

  I find Dad sitting at his kitchen table, staring into space. He looks vaguely in my direction when I sit down.

  'Oh, hello sweetheart.' He frowns. 'Did you let yourself in?'

  No, I vaulted over the fence.

  'Yes.' I sit down across from him. 'I bumped into Maddy on my way out.'

  'Oh.'

  I'm sure he's blushing under his tan.

  'I thought she might be a good person for you to talk to,' I say meaningfully. 'Not kiss.'

  'You saw that, did you?'

  'I was in the garden.' I lean forward across the table. 'Dad, how could you?'

  He puts his head in his hands. 'I really don't know. I didn't mean to do it, it just...'

  '...happened, I know. But Dad, she's my cousin.'

  'Only a distant one.'

  'And she's only a few years older than me.'

  He winces. 'Yes, I realise that, but...'

  'And you're married to Mum!'

  'Yes, all right!' He smacks a palm down on the table. I shut up and sit back automatically; a reflex left over from childhood.

  He takes a deep breath. 'I realise it was wrong of me, but it can't be undone. And as for being married... well apparently I won't be for much longer.'

  I gape. 'What?'

  He reaches across the table and takes my hand. 'Your mother called this morning. She's filing for divorce.'

  I stare at him. My throat has swollen and I can hardly breathe. 'Why?' I choke out.

  'Well, I assume because she doesn't want to be married anymore. That is, if she ever did.'

  'But surely she can't just do it? Don't you need to have grounds?'

  'Maddy tells me she'll most likely put unreasonable behaviour, which apparently covers a multitude of sins. Apparently hating your spouse isn't enough in this country. Maddy says adultery is a lot simpler, so maybe I should go out and have some fun. I'm pretty sure the equipment still works, though admittedly it hasn't been pressed into service for a while.'

  I suppress a shudder. 'It's only been a couple of days. Mum might still come around. Please don't do anything stupid.'

  'Oh, I don't know,' Dad says thoughtfully. 'I've been sensible most of my life and it hasn't got me anywhere much. In fact, the only time I was really stupid, it got me the best thing in my life.'

  'Mum.'

  'No, you.'

  I blink. 'Me?'

  'You were largely the result of a bottle and a half of cheap wine and a consequently rather lax attitude to contraception. That was pretty stupid. But it meant I got to be a father.'

  I knew I was an accident, but I didn't know I was that much of one.

  'Your mother would never agree to another child,' he muses. 'I hoped for another accident. I even thought of engineering one, but I decided that wasn't fair. I wish I had now. It couldn't have made things worse. And I'd have two children to be proud of, now that I don't have a wife.'

  I can't think of anything to say.

  'Grandchildren would be nice. Does Sam want children?'

  'Huh? Oh. Yes. Three or four maybe.'

  'Better get started soon then.'

  'Dad! We've only been together a couple of days.'

  Three days, three hours and 29 minutes - approximately.

  'I know, I know. Please ignore me. I just... I thought by this stage in my life I'd have certain things and I don't. And now I'm losing the ones I did have. I'm not sure I can stay at the Club with your mother there. Maybe I'll sell this house and buy a little retirement flat down in Eastbourne. Prepare for getting old.' He looks at his hands,
which seem to have picked up a few more wrinkles. 'Older.'

  'You're not old!' I insist. 'And you're far too active for a retirement flat. Mum'll change her mind and come back and everything will be fine. You'll see.'

  He nods. But he doesn't answer.

  We sit and watch the girls' final together. Jane and her opponent have split the first two sets and it's going on serve in the third. Miraculously, the weather is still holding.

  Dad sits beside me, munching on a carrot. I really wish I'd inherited his love of vegetables.

  My phone rings. It's Sam. I feel a little frisson of excitement. I hurry out into the hall to take the call.

  'Hi,' I say, trying not to sound as giddy as I feel. 'How was practice?'

  'Surprisingly good considering the workout I had this morning. I'm quite impressed I can still walk in a straight line.'

  'I've got much the same problem.'

  'I rather like this new fitness regime. I think I'll stick with it.'

  'Then you'll need a good training partner. I'll volunteer. Anytime you like.'

  'You may live to regret saying that.'

  'I doubt it, but you're more than welcome to try and make me.'

  'Anything to please a lady.'

  'Very chivalrous of you.'

  He clears his throat. 'I'm just heading to watch the ladies' final. Are you around?'

  'I'm at my parents' house right now with my dad, but I'll be back up later.'

  'Is he okay?'

  'Not too bad. I'll explain later.'

  'Okay. Call me when you get back up.'

  I forcibly restrain myself from starting a 'no, you hang up' conversation and head back into the living room, trying not to look too happy.

  'Sam?'

  'Yes.'

  'Back on track?'

  'Yup.'

  'Are you happy?'

  'Very.'

  'Good.'

  Jane has managed to break in my absence. She's now 4-2 up. This is looking good.

  The next two games go on serve, leaving her to serve for the match.

  The camera focuses on her face. She looks utterly focused and confident. I think she really does believe she can win. I don't know if my words to her earlier in the fortnight helped at all, but I like to think they might have.

 

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