by Tara Leigh
Shane had invited me into his life to keep chaos at bay, and I’d brought only upheaval.
I was everything he didn’t want in his life. And now that he’d finally found peace?
I loved him too much to destroy it.
“Don’t what, Delaney?” Shane stood just inside the doorway, hurt smeared all over his gorgeous face. “Don’t sing your praises to an entire arena full of fans?”
“No, that…That was really sweet.” My tongue tripped over the words. “Thank you.” Walking away from Shane was ripping a hole in me so jagged it would never heal without leaving an ugly reminder of what I’d lost.
“Then what? Don’t ask—”
I threw the toiletry bag into my suitcase, shoving the smattering of clothes in after it and furiously tugging at the zipper. “Exactly. Don’t ask me anything.”
“Wow. So that’s how you’re going to play this?” Each syllable dripped with barely restrained fury.
I wasn’t playing. That was the problem. This wasn’t a game of charades for me. Every emotion I’d shown to the cameras was real. Wrenching the suitcase off the mattress, it landed with a thunk on the carpet and promptly tipped over. I stared at it, wishing I could just throw myself beside it. “I guess I am,” I said quietly, avoiding Shane’s angry stare.
Shane made a sound, an almost primal growl, slamming his fist into the wall with a violence that made me jump.
“Don’t,” I cried, cringing at the streaks of red on the white wall, the sight of Shane’s bloody knuckles sending me running toward him. “Jesus Christ, stop it.”
The moment I took a step toward him, I knew it was a mistake. That I should have stayed where I was. Because the closer I got to Shane, the more of his energy wrapped around me, stampeding over the last shreds of my willpower. And when I touched him…
A spark lit into me, feeding on the oxygen in my blood, bursting into flames I didn’t know how to extinguish.
I was his.
In surrender, I lifted my chin, and Shane’s mouth settled over mine. Like an airtight seal, our kiss held back the words I was too scared to let escape. Because once I did, there would be no going back. I didn’t know what Shane would say, what he would do. If he would hate me for what I’d done. If he would leave me.
Which was why I’d left him first.
But he’d come after me. And just like that, with one touch, neither of us was going anywhere.
Shane’s tongue teased me slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. Gathering the ends of my hair in his hands, Shane bunched it inside his fists, tugging my head back farther, tiny prickles alighting on my scalp. Not enough to hurt, just enough to send those same tingles everywhere. I yielded gratefully, curling my fingers around his neck, squeezing, urging. But no. Shane was setting the pace. A soft cry bubbled up from the back of my throat as I gave in. He licked at the corners of my mouth, nibbled at my lips. My eyes closed, escaping into the dizzying whirls of lust as I reached for the edge of Shane’s shirt, dragging it over his head. Needing it off. He did the same to my dress, flinging the designer creation across the room. A vent was at my back, blowing a cool, air-conditioned breeze along my spine, prickling my skin.
Shane cupped one pebbled breast in his good hand, his mouth closing over the other one. Licking, sucking, flicking his tongue over the needy peak as I arched into him. My mouth fell open, head tipping back, hair swishing against my shoulders as I made noises that sounded like a cornered animal. I was captured. Trapped in a gilded cage. A minute ago I’d been ready to fly away. But now I was in Shane’s arms, being worked over by that mouth of his that brought me to the edge of heaven and then pushed me beyond it. So. Many. Times.
My body came alive beneath his hands, his mouth. It had been like this since the first moment I’d set eyes on him. Maybe before that. Maybe all those magazine covers had predisposed me to fall apart in his arms. And every time our bodies met in this ancient, primal dance, the tide that swept me away seemed to grow more powerful. This thing between us, whatever it was, grew bigger, more overwhelming.
Because I was overwhelmed. Heat raced within my veins, leaving me gasping for breath.
Shane pulled away, pinning me with his stare. There was a nakedness to his need that mirrored my own. I could see it in his eyes, taste it on his lips. Moaning, I ran greedy fingers over the inked skin covering his rippling muscles. God, everything about this man was beautiful. His face, his body, his skin, his tattoos. His spirit.
When had I given him my heart? Could I trace back the exact moment it left my body and became his? The question flitted at the edge of my mind, scurrying away as Shane lifted me, setting me down on the center of the mattress as he stepped back to shuck off his jeans. Standing there for a moment in his full naked glory. And he was glorious. I shivered as I took in every last inch of him.
“Delaney.” My name was a groan, as if he knew anything else would put an end to what we were doing. There were so many words littering the air between us. Questions and answers that sizzled like grease on a hot skillet, popping and hissing. If we got too close, we’d be burned. By mutual consent, we focused on the one thing that required no words.
Lust.
Right now it was the only honest thing I had to offer.
I was wearing a nude lace thong, and he dragged it over my legs as if he were opening a present. He moved over me, knees indenting the mattress on either side of my thighs. Sliding long fingers beneath my head, Shane cradled my skull in his hands, kissing me until the room spun.
The tension and chaos that had seeped into my pores tonight, over the past couple of months, throughout the past three years—all of it fought for space in my body, leaving my skin as thin and tight as a cheap party balloon. I reveled in the weight of him against my chest, lending me his strength, keeping me centered as our heartbeats knocked along together. Shane. Me. Us.
This was what I wanted. Did anything else matter? If the truth would take him from me, did I really need to say a damn thing?
But I did. I did. I did.
Even lying beneath him, I could feel it eating away at me like acid. I would tell him. Just not now. Not yet. I needed this. It might be all I had, ever again.
I sighed as Shane guided himself into me, sinking deep. Deep, so deep. Filling that empty part of me that was a black void of guilt and grief.
Our hips rocked together, hands entwining above my head. Sweetness rushed through me, like drizzles of honey, as our mouths roamed, feasting on each other. Lips, necks, ears, collarbones. Our tongues lashed every bit of skin we could reach. Both of us so hungry.
My ankles hooked around Shane, drawing him even closer. Our panting breaths filled the air around us. Fast, shallow gasps. We sounded like sprinters, the end of the race in sight.
My eyes drifted closed, lost in an inner maelstrom of sensation.
“Delaney,” Shane barked. “Look at me.”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see Shane’s face. See what I was doing to him. A reflection of what he was doing to me. Our coupling was too intense to look closely. Too raw. Too desperate.
And it might be our last.
With a roar, Shane slammed into me. Except he didn’t pull back out. “Don’t shut me out, Delaney. I won’t have it.” It was more than a request.
I whimpered, giving in to Shane’s command. The sight of his bare chest, every muscle vibrating with the strain of holding himself in check, was enough to make me weep in awe. But it was his amber gaze that burned into me, penetrating through the top layer of my skin and leaving me defenseless. There was no armor strong enough to protect me from this man. His shameless charm, his stunning body. My sexy bad-boy rock star. My sweet Good Samaritan.
Head and heart of a lion, soul of a wounded boy.
Shane Hawthorne, I’m yours.
“I’ve got you,” he said, easing out of me with a tender look in his eyes, as if he’d read my mind. Pushing back slowly. Setting a new rhythm.
Shane released my hands, dragging his finge
rtips along my neck, my breasts, continuing lower until his calloused fingertips dug into my waist, holding on. His pace picked up, thrusts becoming frenzied. I met every one of them with equal force. We crashed into each other, pleasure darkening my vision until I was grasping at his shoulders, dizzy and out of control.
Everything in my body condensed, drawing tight, tight, tight. “Shane,” I screeched, nails digging into his back as I burst apart, splintering into tiny, glittering shards.
Shane growled into my neck, biting as he thrust one last time, and gathered my boneless body into his. “That settles it, Delaney. We’re getting married.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Delaney
No. No, no, no.
My limbs, which had been so languid mere seconds earlier, tensed up, and I flinched at Shane’s casual pronouncement. I shoved at his shoulders. “Get off me.”
Was that a proposal? Two sentences. Neither one a question.
Every little girl dreamed of this moment, including me. Especially me.
That settles it. We’re getting married.
Not one of my daydreams had ever ended that way.
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. My life hadn’t exactly gone according to plan so far.
The only world I’d ever known had been completely obliterated in the blink of an eye. Happily married parents, top schools, no worries beyond finding a boyfriend or a summer internship. All it took was a quick text to distract me for a minute, to take my foot off the brake just long enough for the car to drift a few feet into an intersection, setting off a chain of events that killed my mother and stole my father’s freedom.
From that moment on, guilt had eclipsed my carefree life, leaving just an inky darkness that seemed as if it would never end.
And then I’d met Shane Hawthorne.
He rolled off me, his amber eyes studying my face from beneath furrowed brows.
Shane didn’t know that the most recent chapter of my life had been written with a poisoned pen. He’d kissed me until I was senseless, and in the next breath offered me a future I’d thought was out of reach forever. And as if that wasn’t enough, he’d faced his own checkered past, found redemption in the truth.
There would be no redemption for me. I was the one behind the wheel that day. Once I told the truth, my father would be free.
And I wouldn’t.
If only I hadn’t promised to keep my mouth shut. Promised my father he would never visit his daughter in jail.
That pledge had tied my hands more effectively than a set of handcuffs.
I couldn’t keep it anymore.
“That wasn’t the response I was hoping for,” he said, his scowl deepening.
Hope was a dangerous thing. It could only carry you so high before gravity pulled you back down to earth. The higher you flew, the harder you fell. Being with Shane these last few months had been a wild, crazy, exciting ride—especially after the past three years wallowing in guilt and grief. Somehow I’d discovered a frantic, feverish hunger that only Shane had ever spawned in me and that only he could satisfy. Shane had brought joy into my life again, and I’d let his wounds eclipse mine. Living life in his arms, looking at it through his eyes…I’d nearly forgotten that no matter how real my feelings, I was still hiding behind them.
Deep inside though, I was holding out hope that once I told him the truth, he would stay by my side. That he would fight for me, for us, as I’d done. Even if it meant walking back into a courthouse and holding my hand while I faced whatever was coming my way.
But Shane couldn’t do any of that until I told him the truth.
This time, the choice would be his.
Would he stay?
“Frankly, that wasn’t the proposal I’d dreamed of either.” My softly spoken rebuke coated the back of my throat with burnt ash, incinerating any lingering desire pumping through my veins. “But that’s not why I can’t marry you.”
Shane’s jaw clenched as he rolled off the bed, grabbing for his clothes, which littered the carpet. Worn jeans were left unzipped as he pulled his shirt over his head and settled his mussed hair with those elegant fingers that had worked such magic on me just a few minutes ago. “Why the fuck not?”
Somehow I managed a tremulous smile, reaching for the lowest-hanging fruit first. Delaying the inevitable. “For starters, you can’t replace an employment contract with a marriage pact. It’s like you’re trying to frame our relationship with an arbitrary set of rules and expectations. We don’t need that.”
Shane sighed. “What do you want from me, Delaney?”
My tongue swept across suddenly dry lips. “I want you to know that I’ve been with you because it’s where I wanted to be. Maybe not from day one, but definitely from day two. I stayed because I couldn’t bear to leave. Because I fell in love with you, Shane. You don’t owe me anything.” Only your heart.
“I—”
“Wait.” I put my hand up, drawing the sheet around my chest as if it could protect me, and took a shaky breath. It was time to stop beating around the damn bush. No matter what Shane had or hadn’t said, right now the only thing that mattered was what I hadn’t said. Shane’s secrets were all out in the open, his legal battle in the rearview mirror. But mine was just beginning. Because after I spoke my truth, I was going to have to face the consequences, the condemnation. Including Shane’s. I couldn’t hide anymore. “There’s something else. Something you don’t know.”
That I’d done the very same thing he still hated himself for. I had been behind the wheel of an accident. I’d walked away. My mother hadn’t.
I was the murderer.
“I can’t marry you—can’t even be with you—until I’m not betraying you with every other word out of my mouth. I’ve wanted to tell you the truth so many times, for so long. I’m ready to take responsibility for my lies, face the consequences of my actions. But first I need to be honest with you.”
Caramel eyes held mine, and I drank up this moment, these last precious seconds before Shane would know what I’d kept hidden for so long. The horrible, awful truth that was killing me a little more every day. “I was the driver. It was me. I picked up my phone, just for a second, on our way home. I caused the accident. Not my father. Me.”
My heart sank as those eyes hardened into amber, tightening around the truth. Going dark. No. Don’t walk away. Don’t let me go. But even as my soul cried out, I knew it was no use. Standing right in front of me, Shane was already gone.
“You were the driver,” he repeated, the words cold and harsh.
I flinched as if he’d banged down a gavel. “Yes.” The word was little more than a puff of air.
I watched as hardness spread to Shane’s face, the muscles in his cheek twitching until they turned into granite. Fury rolled off his skin, leaching into the air between us. He stood up slowly, tugging at his zipper as he stepped into his boots.
“Say something, please,” I begged, a sense of urgency winding through my misery. Was he really going to leave without saying another word? Was he really going to leave?
“What’s there to say?” he shot back.
“I don’t know. But something. Anything.”
Shane leveled a hard look at me. “You’re a liar. You’ve lied to me day after day, even after I was honest with you. And you were going to leave, just walk away from me—from us—without ever admitting your deception?” His eyes burned with fury. “You were right, you know. That first night we met.”
“What—” My throat closed, and I swallowed. Started again. “What do you mean?” I asked, fear rising in my gut like a summer squall, heavy and drenching. I knew what he was going to say before he said it, and I wanted to cover my ears and drown him out. But I didn’t, my hands wrapping around my chest instead, preparing for the inevitable blow.
Shane delivered, repeating the same words I’d spoken to him in Travis’s backyard. “You’re no one I want to know.” His voice was practically emotionless, and it dragged along my flesh like a
serrated blade.
Months ago, I’d used them in a desperate bid at self-preservation.
But right now, Shane sure looked like he meant every word.
The tears I’d been trying to hold back overflowed, falling unchecked down my cheeks as he walked away. I pitched forward, Shane’s parting jab eating me up inside. I had told him my deepest, darkest secret. I’d opened up, let him see me. All of me. Deep down I thought he would fight for me. For us.
Shane’s delicious swagger was just a blur as he covered the distance to the door, his quick pace further proof he couldn’t wait to get away from me.
I was no better than any of the groupies stalking Shane across the globe. I’d allowed myself to fall, so hard and so far…for what?
Shane had been honest about his needs and expectations at the outset—and then he’d thrown them all out the window when we became real.
But Shane didn’t want real. He wanted flawless.
Shane
The hurt written across Delaney face was the perfect counterpoint to the shock I felt at her admission.
No wonder we fit together so well. We had the same wounds, the same cracks in our soul. We’d both been responsible for the death of someone we loved.
We’d both stolen lives.
Delaney’s mother was dead. She was living free while her father wasn’t.
My best friend was dead. I’d taken center stage because Caleb couldn’t.
Stolen fucking lives.
Would I have to watch my gorgeous girl go through what I just had? Tried in the court of public opinion. The possibility—no, probability—of jail time.
Could I stand to see Delaney caged behind iron bars? Jesus. The thought was a cattle prod dragged along my spine. Agony.
I loved her too damn much to lose her.
All this time I’d worried about dragging her beneath my dark cloud. Didn’t want to ruin her.
Now I knew better.