“Was it a drunk driver?” Stephanie asked.
I was pretty surprised that she was pushing. That wasn't something she ever did.
“No,” Bridget answered. “It wasn't.”
Then she sat down without another word. Someone else stood and began talking, taking the attention away from Bridget. I made a mental note to talk to Stephanie about that shit. It wasn't happening again.
“You okay?” I whispered.
“Fine,” she answered.
As soon as the meeting ended, I knew I needed to get out of there. After hearing her talk about Gabe, I still couldn't figure out what she meant when she said she wasn't his woman. When asked if he was her boyfriend, she shook her head no. Seeing the emotion going through her as she sat back down fucking stung. I needed to get home. I'd gotten her to the meeting. It was up to her if she stuck with it or not. My job was done. I walked out of the building and felt her right behind me.
“I'll see you next week,” I said, knowing I needed to get out of there to clear my head and get my thoughts back where they belonged.
“Follow me,” she said.
“What?” I asked, as I stopped and turned toward her.
She was standing with her shoulders pulled back and her hands on her hips.
“You heard me,” she said in a demanding tone. “Get in your truck and follow me.”
My mood instantly changed, and it took all I had not to burst into laughter at her. She was doing to me exactly what I'd done to her the week before, and it was hilarious seeing her trying to act tough.
“You said it was my turn to buy coffee,” she said. “There is no way you're going to say that I stiffed you. I'm buying you coffee. Then we'll be even.”
“That's not necessary,” I said.
She was doing it just to pay me back. That was bullshit. I didn't need any favors from her or anyone else.
“It is,” she said.
“If I go, I get a question,” I said.
She looked at me a bit confused. Then it hit her.
“I actually still have one myself,” she said. “I showed up at the park. My body ached as a reminder all day yesterday. I think I earned my answer.”
“Fine,” I said. “We each get one. Unless you want to stand here and ask yours.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, mocking the way she was standing.
“Fine,” she snapped. “I'll give you one question, but we'll be even on the coffee after this.”
“What is it with you having to be even?” I asked.
She walked toward her car and yelled back over her shoulder.
“I'm not owing anyone anything,” she said.
She got in her car and pulled out before I even had time to think about her comment.
“I never said you owed me shit,” I mumbled, as I got in my truck and started it up.
She was already inside when I pulled in. I could see her sitting in that same corner booth when I walked in. As I sat down, she stood up.
“Be glad your not my woman,” I said, as she began to walk away.
She stopped just at the edge of the booth, but she didn't turn back to face me.
“Why's that?” she asked.
“Because I would have spanked your ass for that shit you pulled on me back there.”
She stood silent for a minute. I meant what I said. My woman wouldn't be manning up to me in a damn parking lot. I was the damn man. There was no way any other woman would have ever tried that crap. How was it she felt she could get away with it? When she still didn't move, I knew I had her thinking. She hadn't stiffened up, so I knew it hadn't scared it. I had no idea what was running through her mind.
“Am I getting that coffee or what?” I asked sternly.
She quickly walked to the front without a word. When she came back, she set my down coffee in front of me a little harder than she should have and sat down with her own in her hands.
“I was shocked when you stood up today,” I said.
“Me too,” she said. “When that girl before me spoke, I felt like she needed someone to tell her she wasn't alone. I guess I felt like maybe I wasn't alone too.”
“You're not,” I said, as I looked down at my coffee.
“I can tell you didn't want to come here,” she said in a serious tone. “If you hurry up and ask your question, you can get out of here and get on with your plans for the night.”
“I don't have plans,” I said defensively.
I didn't like that she was acting like I was being bothered by her. It wasn't that at all.
“You don't have to worry about me cramping your style at the meetings. I think I'm going to sit by myself from now on,” she said.
“How is you sitting there cramping my style?” I asked. “You don't like sitting there?”
“I didn't say that,” she said. “I just don't want to block you from any of the attention you would be getting if I wasn't sitting right there.”
“Attention from who?” I asked.
“Stephanie,” she said, as she took a sip of her coffee with a grin on her face.
“What about her?” I asked. “She would say the same shit to me in front of you that she would if you weren't sitting there. Are you sure it's not me whose blocking you?”
“You can't honestly tell me that she's not into you,” she said. “And what do you mean blocking me?”
“She's not,” I said, as if she were being crazy. Stephanie ran the meetings. She was not into me. “Don't think I haven't seen the same dude checking you out more than once. He even stopped you at the picnic.”
“She is so into you,” she said. “You are a PI, right?”
“Seriously!” I snapped at her.
“You notice someone checking me out but totally miss someone flirting with you. That's pretty funny. Why were you paying attention to me anyway? Is that something else you're doing because of Gabe? You don't have to bother if that's the case. I have zero interest in that guy. He honestly creeps me out.”
“Does Taylor creep you out?” I asked.
“A little,” she answered. “It's not him. I just have a thing. He's okay. I know you trust him.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.
“Is that your question?” she asked.
“What?” I asked. Then I realized what she meant. “No.”
“Out with it then,” she said.
“Okay,” I said. “What happened with you and Gabe?”
“What do you mean exactly?” she asked.
“You say you weren't his woman. Then you said that stuff at the meeting. What were you two exactly?”
“That's not just a simple answer,” she said. “I don't think that should count as your question.”
“You said I get one. You never said there were rules to what it could be. I know you went to college together, and when he started the company, you began working for him.”
“Please tell me you didn't have to use your PI skills to figure that out,” she said.
“I don't know how he did it,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Did what?” she asked innocently.
“Put up with this,” I said, as I motioned around us.
“I wasn't like this with him,” she said.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yep,” she answered, as she took another sip of her coffee.
“Lucky me,” I said.
“I wouldn't say that,” she said. “Your question is too big. Find another one.”
“That's what I want to know,” I said.
“That would require a story and not an answer,” she replied.
“That's my question,” I said. “Unless you have big plans to get to.”
“Okay,” she said. “I'll tell you, but only if you answer my question first.”
“Shoot,” I said.
“You know how Gabe passed away. What happened to your wife?” she asked.
I felt my whole body freeze. My fingers clung so damn tight to m
y cup that I thought it was going to break. When I looked across the table at her, I saw it. She didn't think I'd answer. She thought she was off the hook. I didn't like talking about it, and Bridget knew that. She knew I kept my shit locked up tight. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could feel my hands begin to shake. When I looked across the table again, I could see compassion in her eyes, and my body began to relax.
“She died while she was having Jenny,” I whispered.
She let go of her cup and covered her mouth as she gasped. Then her hands came across the table and covered mine around my cup.
“I'm so sorry, Derek,” she said, with so much feeling in her tone.
Neither of us said anything for a bit. When she broke the silence, I was surprised.
“What was her name?” she asked.
“Jennifer,” I answered.
“You named your little girl after her,” she said, as more of a statement than a question, and I nodded.
I didn't move my hands away, and neither did she.
“I've been through some shit in my life, but that was the hardest thing I've ever gone through.”
“I can't imagine,” she said.
“It happened so fast. She'd had something wrong that they hadn't known about. They did everything they could to save her, but it didn't work. I lost her.”
I saw a look cross her face but couldn't tell what she was thinking.
“That's why you were so nervous when I went into labor and you took me to the hospital,” she mumbled. “Was it the same one?”
“It was,” I said. “That was where I lost her.”
“Derek,” she said, as she tightened her hold on my hands. “I am so sorry.”
I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. I'd been going to those meetings for years and had never spoke about my feelings. They knew my wife died giving birth, but telling them had been different. Telling anyone had been different. I'd always been businesslike when I'd tell people and only let out what I had to. Telling Bridget wasn't like that. I let myself feel the words I was saying. That was something I'd never done, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
“Your turn,” I said, snapping myself out of my feelings.
She looked at me for a second before pulling her hands back from mine and wrapping them around her own cup.
“I honestly don't know what we were,” she said.
“I don't understand,” I said.
She let out a long breath and thought. I could practically see her mind working.
“When I came to work here, I hung out with him and Doug and sometimes John. There were times I went by his house to drop stuff off. Some of those times I'd stay for a bit. We were really good friends. I was closer to him than the other two. He worked every second of every day. I'd bring him food if he was working and knew he hadn't eaten. We looked out for each other I guess. I wasn't seeing anyone and neither was he. One night, we kind of just hooked up. Ugh!”
She refused to looked up from her coffee as she spoke.
“It just sort of went on from there. Neither of us dated anyone. I'd come by or he'd come over my place just like before. We'd order food and watch movies. Some days we'd mess around. As time went by, it happened more often. We never went out together. We never became a couple. Neither of us ever really said anything about it. We just did what we did. We worked together and hung out when we could. That was just how it was. Then he was gone.”
“Doug said he didn't know you and Gabe were together,” I said.
“You asked him?” she asked, with nervous look on her face.
“No,” I said, as I shook my head. “You were at the office with the baby for a party I guess. He had Gabe with him when I walked into his office. He told me the baby's name and mentioned that he had no idea you two were together.”
“That was the day you gave me that card in the hallway,” she said.
“Yes,” I replied.
“That was when you found out about Gabe.”
I nodded.
“You gave me the card because you felt that was your way of paying him back.”
“In a way,” I said honestly.
“If it weren't for Gabe, you would have walked right by me that day when you saw me crying.”
I took a deep breath.
“I have to go,” she said, but I quickly reached out and covered her hands with mine to try and stop her.
“I'm not sure,” I said.
“What?” she asked.
“I wanted to give you the card because of Gabe,” I answered. “When I saw you crying in the hall, I wanted you to feel better. I didn't like seeing you like that. That had nothing to do with Gabe. Please don't think if it weren't for him that I would have walked right by. I didn't that day when you were in labor, and I had no idea you were his.”
“I wasn't his woman,” she snapped, cutting me off. “Don't say that again.”
When I opened my mouth to speak, she cut me off again.
“Not once did he take me out in public as his date. Not once did he ever tell me I was his. Not once did he ever say the words. If I was his woman, he would have.”
“Did you love him?” I asked, not knowing if I really wanted her answer.
“I did,” she said.
“Did you tell him?”
“No,” she said.
“Well,” I said.
“He never said it either,” she said. “What if I told him and it freaked him out? He was my boss and my best friend. I couldn't risk losing him.”
“The baby?” I asked.
“He didn't know,” she said. “I didn't even know until well after he was gone. He was on his way home from my place.”
“What?”
“When he died,” she said. “He was on his way home from my place.”
“Bridget,” I said, as soon as I saw tears in her eyes.
When I felt her move, I held her hands tighter, but she pulled them from my grasp. She got up, grabbed her stuff, and walked out the door.
“Bridget,” I called out, as I took off after her.
She got to her car and was just opening her door when I pushed it closed, grabbed her shoulders, and turned her around. Her head fell forward against my chest, and my arms wrapped around her tight. I couldn't help it. She was in pain, and I wanted to take it away. Nobody should have to feel the hurt she was feeling. She blamed herself, but it wasn't her fault.
“Listen,” I said, as I leaned down close to her ear and whispered. “It wasn't your fault.”
“It was,” she said through her tears.
“No,” I said. “He lost control of his car.”
When she looked up, my heart broke for her. She quickly looked back down, and I pulled my glasses off and tucked them into the top of my t-shirt.
“Because of me,” she said. “He didn't want to come over that night. He'd wanted me to go to his house, but I didn't do it. I told him I didn't feel like driving. Then I told him if he wanted to get laid, he had to come to me. I said that. How fucked up is that?”
“Bridget,” I said, as I held her tighter. “There was nothing wrong with you wanting to stay home.”
“That's not true,” she said. “If I'd gone to him, he'd still be alive.”
“What if you wouldn't be?” I asked, as I took her chin in my hand and lifted so I could see her eyes.
She didn't pull her eyes away from mine. I held her there, looking so damn deep into her dark eyes. Something held me still. I couldn't move. Seeing her like that had me wanting to work so hard to make her see that she couldn't have changed a thing. Gabe's death wasn't her fault any more than Jennifer's was mine. I'd finally come to terms with that, and I'd make damn sure she did too.
Chapter 21
Bridget
I couldn't help but freeze at his words. What if I wouldn't be? I hadn't thought about that. If I had gone to Gabe's that night, would it have been me instead? I would have done it to save him. There was no question in my mind about
that. When Derek looked into my eyes, I felt like he could see everything inside of me. I felt like he could hear my thoughts. Then he spoke again, and my world spun around me.
“That beautiful baby is here because you're here.”
More tears began to slip from my eyes, and I couldn't hold them back.
“It wasn't your fault that he crashed,” he said, as continued looking into my eyes. “There was nothing you could have done, Bridget. You need to count every single day with your son as a blessing. You need to live to make his life the best you possibly can. You need to give him the love of two parents. He's the one that matters in all of this.”
Derek turned us so his back was against my car. He held me close and let me cry without a single word. I couldn't tell you how long we stood there, but when I finally pulled away from the safety surrounding me, I felt like I could sleep for days. Part of me was exhausted. Another part of me felt relief. A third part felt the loss of his arms being wrapped around me. I took a step back, and his eyes connected with mine. A feeling shot through my body that I'd never felt before, and that scared the shit out of me.
“I should go,” I said.
“This conversation isn't over,” he said, not making a single move to step away from my car.
“I need to get home,” I said.
“Are you okay to drive?” he asked, and I nodded. “Will you text me when you get there?”
I shook my head, and his hand came out, grabbed my chin, and lifted so I was forced to look at him.
“I need you to text me when you get home,” he said in a stern tone.
Before I could say anything, he narrowed his eyes at me.
“Not a word,” he said. “Put that sassy mouth away for one damn minute. You will text me when you get home.”
“If I don't,” I said in a challenging tone.
He let go of my chin, turned to open my door, and stepped to the side.
“If you want to find out, test me,” he said.
Then he motioned for me to get in the car. I did without a word. His last comment had been more of a growl, and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out exactly what he meant. Before the door closed, I had to say something. I couldn't let him think he had any control when it came to me. Nobody would ever control me again.
“You know Gabe isn't going to know you're having me text you,” I said in a cocky tone.
Derek (Hunter PI & Security #1) Page 15