I felt her smile around me and knew the woman was trouble. When she tightened her mouth and sucked hard, I had to do something.
“Fuck,” I hissed, as I reached down, grabbed under her arms, and lifted her as if she weighed nothing at all.
My mouth covered hers, as I reached for the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head. Seconds later, her bra was gone too. I couldn't wait another second to be inside of her. I fucking needed it like I needed to breathe. I shoved her jeans down her legs after fumbling with the button and zipper. She'd been just as eager when she'd removed my shirt and shoved my jeans and boxers down the rest of the way. I stepped out of them as quickly as she had hers. The only thing between me and where I needed so badly to be was her panties. I grabbed hold of them and ripped them from her body in one move, and she cried out my name. That was one sound I wanted to hear over and over again filling the silence around us.
“Derek.”
I thought about my earlier words and how damn badly I needed her. Then I grabbed her shoulders and spun her away from me. When I grabbed the back of her neck and whispered “bend over, baby” into her ear, I felt her body shake. She did as I asked, and when the cool metal from the hood of her car hit her skin, she let out a hiss. I leaned down over her, letting the weight of my body hold her to the hood. Then my hand moved her hair to the side and my mouth grabbed hold of her neck. I licked and sucked until I could feel her body trying to move beneath mine. When I lifted off of her, I instantly felt the loss of her skin against mine. I stood back looking over her body.
“You're so fucking beautiful,” I said. “So damn sexy. Spread those legs for me, baby.”
She didn't move, but I heard her whisper my name.
“Spread them,” I said again.
She spread them a tiny bit, but I wanted more. I wanted to see every bit of her. My hand came down on her ass, and she let out a yelp. My hand rubbed her sexy ass, and her body relaxed.
“Spread for me, baby,” I said. “I want to see all of you. I want to see your sexy ass in the air. I want to see the juices I already know are dripping down your legs for me. I want to see that beautiful, perfect pussy that I'm about to devour.”
I heard her moan my name as her legs finally opened for me. Then I got down on my knees behind her. When I grabbed her with my hands and spread her wide, she gasped. My tongue landed on her and she instantly cried out my name and moved back against my face. My finger circled her clit while I thrust my tongue into her. She was moving back against me and calling my name over and over. That right there was the sweetest sound ever to leave those lips. The more she moved, the more I did too. My tongue was hitting her deep, and my fingers sped up. It didn't take long before I heard her scream my name as her pussy pulsed around my tongue. Once her body relaxed against the car, I got to my feet and leaned back over her.
“I'm going to fuck you so hard and deep against this hood,” I whispered into her ear. “Not going to take you slow, baby. I need you so fucking bad right now.”
She turned her head and covered my mouth with hers.
“Take me, Derek,” she said. “I need you too.”
I wrapped my hand in her hair and pulled so I could take her mouth the way I wanted while my other hand held tight around her hip. I lined myself up and thrust into her in one fast move. She cried out loud into my mouth. When I finally broke our kiss, I knew I wasn't going to last long. My other hand went to her other hip, as I stood up and looked over her body while I pounded into her hard and fast. Her back was arched, and her ass was in the air. She was taking everything I was giving her, as she held tight to the edge of the hood. Each time my name left her lips, I knew I'd do anything to hear it again. When she cried out and came around my cock, I couldn't hold back. I growled her name out so fucking loud, as I exploded and jolt after jolt shot from me into her. When my body fell down onto hers, I felt like I hadn't felt, except for one other time, in years. I felt satisfied. I felt relaxed. I felt happy.
We both got dressed quietly, and she scooted up to sit on the hood of her car. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and her head leaned in against my chest.
“I'm not embarrassed of you,” she said.
I wanted her to look up at me, so I could see her face, but I knew not to push her. She had something to say, and I knew she needed me to listen.
Chapter 40
Bridget
“I'm not embarrassed of you,” I said without thinking. I needed him to know. “Gabby has been through so much. She lost her brother that she hadn't seen in so long. She was thrown into his company. Then she found out about the baby. She has a crazy ex to go along with it all. I'm honestly afraid she'll snap if she has any more put on her. She's been good to me, Derek. Neither her or Doug had to give the baby money, but they did. I moved in so she could be close to the baby and honestly because I needed to be close to his dad. It was hard on me losing him and finding out I was having his child when nobody even knew we were together. I'd had to hide my feelings, and it wasn't easy. I wasn't afraid to talk to you or be by you today. I did need you there. I was just so nervous she'd freak out and start asking stuff in front of everyone. We aren't a couple. What was I going to say? That was a feeling way too familiar to me. I know we're just friends. I get it. Believe me, I'm used to it. I just didn't want to upset her, at the party, in front of everyone.
“Her brother has been gone for almost two years,” he said from above me.
I hadn't looked up at him yet.
“Says the guy who hasn't moved on after five,” I said. “Not for more than just a quick fuck I mean.”
“Do not say that again,” he said, with warning in his tone. “I'm happy being alone.”
“Not any more happy than I am,” I said honestly. “Believe me, I get it. You feel like you'd be going against her if you moved on. You'd feel like you were saying you didn't love her anymore or that you loved someone else more. I feel that shit too. At least you knew she loved you. Be happy for that. I don't even have that. Never once did he tell me. I honestly never knew if he did or not. I never knew where I stood other than as a friend and a quick fuck when he had nothing better to do.”
“He loved you,” Derek said roughly.
“Never enough to tell me,” I said, as I pulled back and looked up at him. “His sister found a ring next to a picture of the two of us. That is not how you find out someone loves you. At least Jennifer didn't hide it.”
“Bridget,” he said, but I shook my head to stop him.
“You were right,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“You were right about him. He looked at me as a victim all those years. So did Doug and John. They all did. Gabe treated me like I was going to break into a million pieces. He was always so careful when he spoke to me and when he touched me. I think he was always waiting for me to break down or something. I just wanted to forget. I wanted to fucking move on, but I couldn't do it. It was always there, between us and everywhere I went. He didn't even know about the worst part. If he did, he would have looked at me worse than he already had. I can't imagine how he would have treated me then. He was amazing. I'm not saying he wasn't. He was a great man with a huge heart. But he was always careful when it came to me. He never wanted to hurt me. We never even argued. If we did, he'd stop it right away before either of us got angry. We were friends. One night, I think we were both feeling lonely, and one thing led to another. It wasn't passionate or powerful. It was soft and safe. After that, we kind of did it when we were lonely. It was like that for years. Did I love him? Yes, I did. He was my best friend. How could I not? Maybe that's why we never said it. Maybe it was just a love of convenience.”
“Do you miss him?” Derek asked.
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “He was my friend. He never knew he was going to be a father. He'll never meet his amazing son, and his son will never know how great his father was.”
“Sure he will,” Derek said. “You'll tell him all the time. You'll show him p
ictures and tell him stories about things he did and who he was.”
“Like you do?” I asked.
He nodded, never taking his eyes away from me.
“Yes,” he said. “I tell Jenny things, and Jean and Joe tell her things too. That's why that picture is next to her bed. I'd feel horrible if she felt like she didn't know her mother.”
I leaned in and again put my head against his chest. Partly because it hurt hearing him talk about another woman, but mostly because I need to touch him.
“You were right too,” he said.
There was no way I was going to look up and miss hearing what he was about to say, but I wanted so badly to look into his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me tight and leaned his chin on the top of my head, making that decision for me.
“I am afraid to move on,” he said. “It's not for the reason you think it is though.”
He didn't say anything right away, so I gave him the time he needed and waited patiently. Not to mention, I didn't want his arms to leave me any sooner than they were already going to.
“I don't feel like I'd be going against her,” he said. “I do think she would want me to be happy.”
“Then why?” I whispered. “Why don't you want love?”
“Because I don't want to go through that again,” he said. “I was gone all those years doing what I thought was best for us. I was taking care of her. I'd barely been home, and she was gone. I don't ever want to feel a pain like that again. If I don't move on, I won't.”
We were both quiet for a few minutes. I held him tight as I moved my hands up and down his back. I could feel his body relaxing against mine and knew he was as tired as I was.
“Derek,” I said, making sure he was okay.
“What?” he asked.
“Thank you,” I answered.
“For what?” he asked, sounding confused.
“For not treating me like I'm going to break,” I said, as I lifted my head from his chest and looked up into his eyes. “I have never felt anything in my life like I have the two times we've been together.”
“Neither have I,” he said, as he lifted me from the hood and put me on my feet. “That scares the shit out of me.”
He opened my door, and I got in. Then he walked around and got in his side. The drive back to his truck was quiet. When I parked my car, he looked over at me. I knew he wanted to say something, and I wanted so badly to know what it was. He opened his door to get out without saying whatever it was, but I remembered something I wanted to ask him.
“Hey,” I said. “What did Doug say to you that day? He said something about the party, didn't he?”
“He did,” Derek said. “He said he didn't think it would be a good idea if I went.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I told him it was your decision, and I also told him I thought it was a punk move to tell me that behind your back.”
I nodded, and he got out of the car. His door was halfway closed before he stopped it and leaned down.
“Don't ever say that shit about a quick fuck again, you hear me?” he said. “You're the only one I've been with since I lost her. I'm not the one on birth control. Text me when you get there.”
Before I could respond, he'd closed the door and walked to his truck. I couldn't pull my thoughts together, as I backed out and drove down the road. He hadn't been with anyone in five years. I couldn't believe it.
When I walked in the door, I was still lost in thought. Then I saw Doug sitting on the couch alone and walked over to him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said sternly.
“He okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered again.
“Look, Bridget,” he said, but I cut him right off.
“No, you look,” I snapped. “I know you told him not to come today. That wasn't your decision. He's my friend and a member of the group I go to. I appreciate that you look out for me, but you don't have to do that. I can take care of myself. You're like family to me, and I appreciate everything you and Gabby have done for me here and at work, but I won't have you trying to decide who I'm friends with. Do you hear me? I don't need to be protected. I won't break.”
He stood up from the couch and came closer to me.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I know that was Gabe's job. Since he's been gone, I've kind of made it my own. I just don't want you to get hurt.”
“It wasn't Gabe's job, and it's not yours either,” I snapped. “I can make my own decisions. I know I've been through some shit. I get that, but I can't have you watching out for me every second. I need to run my own life, and both you and Gabby need to let me.”
“Gabby was right,” he said, and I looked at him confused. “Today she said you were going to be okay. She wants to start working on a family.”
“I am going to be okay,” I said sternly. “Thank you so much for looking out, but don't do it anymore.”
I turned and walked to the stairs. Just as I took the first step, he called my name and I stopped.
“If he hurts you, I'll kill him,” he said in a rough tone.
“We're just friends. Neither of us want more than that,” I said. “You have nothing to worry about.”
Then I hurried up the stairs and to my room. Were we just friends, I wondered? I knew that was how Derek saw me, and I was okay with that. We would have never worked anyway. We were both set in our ways. He was so damn cocky and bossy, and I didn't want that. Neither of us were willing to bend, that I knew for sure. Even when it came to something as simple as where we lived, we both knew what we wanted. And that was just one small example of why we'd never work. There were so many of them.
I fell onto my bed with my phone in my hand and sent him a quick text.
Me: I'm home.
His reply came instantly.
Derek: Me too. Goodnight! See you Monday.
Me: See you Monday.
I stared up at the ceiling thinking about Gabe and how nervous I was the first time we were together. He was an amazing man, and I knew he'd never hurt me, but I was still cautious. It hadn't been like that with Derek. The first and second time we were together, not a single nervous or worried thought entered my mind. The only thing I could think of was being as close to him as possible. I needed him more than I'd ever needed anything.
It was late by the time my eyes finally started to close. I thought about him telling me he hadn't been with anyone. Then I thought about his birth control comment. I wasn't on it so I wouldn't get pregnant. I'd gone on it so I'd be on a regular schedule. I picked up my phone and typed out a message.
Me: You're the only one I've been with since Gabe.
When I put my phone back down on my night stand and fell asleep, I was more confused than ever.
Chapter 41
Derek
I couldn't believe the things I'd said to her. That wasn't me. I wasn't a guy to spill his feelings to anyone, but I'd done it with her. It was true, I wasn't afraid of letting Jennifer down, I was afraid of getting close and losing someone else. There was no way I was going through that again.
When I got home, I walked quietly through the house. After what had just gone on, I wasn't about to face Jean. I needed to go to bed, wake up in the morning, and pull my head out of my ass. I'd let my guard down, and I wasn't okay with that.
She sent her text, and I sent mine. I'd gotten ready for bed and had just gotten under the covers when I heard the ding of my phone again.
Bridget: You're the only one I've been with since Gabe.
I honestly hadn't realized just how much the thought of her with someone else was bothering me until I felt relief from reading her words. She hadn't been with anyone in two years, I thought. Why me? She deserved a man that would claim her as his for everyone to see. I would never be that man, not for her or any other woman.
When I closed my eyes, I thought about her storming into that bar with a fire lit under her ass like I'd never seen before, and I couldn
't help but laugh. It was so damn adorable and sexy as hell seeing her stand up to me. She was a woman on a mission, but it didn't take long to show her who was really in control. I wasn't about to have those men looking her over for any longer than I had to, so I threw her over my shoulder and took her sassy mouth outside.
When she pulled off the road down that dark path and told me she'd been there after we'd had coffee, I was pissed. There wasn't a light around. So many things could have happened out there. She'd let me believe she'd been home safe, when she'd really been putting herself in a dangerous situation. How did that not scare her but any man walking up to talk to her did? I didn't get it. Did she know what could have happened to her out there when nobody even knew where she was? Thinking about it again had my fists clenching next to me.
Then I thought about touching her the way I had. She'd gone down onto her knees and sucked me so damn hard. When I lifted her from the ground, there was only one place I wanted to be, and that was buried balls deep inside of her. I didn't just want it, I needed it like I needed air to breathe. When I turned her and took her as hard and deep as I could against the hood of her car, she never even flinched. It didn't scare her. I didn't scare her. She trusted that I wouldn't hurt her, and she was right. I would never do anything to purposely hurt her.
The thought that anyone would do anything to harm her sent a surge of anger through me that I could barely control. How could a man hit his woman, the same woman that had put her trust in him to protect her? Even worse, how could that same man force himself on the woman he was supposed to love? She'd trusted that fucker. He wasn't a stranger, he was her damn boyfriend. Knowing he lifted his hand to her was enough to have me wanting to beat his ass bloody, but knowing for sure that he'd forced her to do something with him she didn't want to, that had me wanting to kill him with my bare hands. She'd asked me to drop it, and I had for a while, but I couldn't let it go any longer. I didn't care how long ago it was, that fucker was going to pay for the hell he'd put her through, not just that day, but every single day since then. She was afraid, and it was his fault.
Derek (Hunter PI & Security #1) Page 34